>working as a food host at a hospital
>All I do is deliver trays to patients
>working on pediatrics, I delivered food to some 16 year old kid with his friends in the room
>All goes well, didn't sperg out, but noticed there were a lot of girls
>two hours later I'm doing my routine dirty tray pick up
>I turn the corner to go to the kid's room, but his friends are outside by the door getting ready to leave
>we also have magicians at the hospital that go room to room to do magic for kids
>one of the girls had a magic wand, and as soon as I get closer she does a "kachow" a few times and shakes the wand at me
>note that she's well over 17
>I stare and the group of 5 stares back, like I'm supposed to do something
>she kachows me again and I reply, "too late for that"
>I freak out in my head, what the fuck does that even mean
>they all just talk among each other as I pass by with an awkward smile and staring straight, "too late for what?" "what did he mean by that" "ohhhh I get it it's a joke" "what?"
Jesus Christ what am I supposed to do? I go to work to make money not get spells and shit cast on me, why would this girl kachow me?
Pic related
>I
>>29910616
I would just smile/chuckle and then go about my business, but I'm kind of a sperg too so idk the best course of action
>>29910768
They were all giving me a soul piercing stare, I froze and had no idea what to do
View it as a learning experience. Next time someone is playful (it will happen again) just be playful back. Feign getting hit or something equally silly.
>>29910873
It's tough for me, I get really stiff around people I have to speak with for a long period of time. I'm great at small talk because it's so easy and quick, but messing around with people I don't know or people playing with me is a difficult concept to grasp. Im awful at making friends
>>29910616
I would've just shyly smiled back.
>>29910616
>why would this girl kachow me?
>>29911258
But there were so many of them and they were literal normies. They wanted to include me in their fun and I basically shit myself in autism
>>29910616
This is some avant-garde greentexting shit right here
>>29910616
I assume Mr. Magician did some sort of slapstick routine where he handed the patient the wand and was then "zapped" when the patient tried to do a magic trick. THey assumed you were in on the trick because you work at the same hospital, much like people assume all asians/blacks know one another. Fuck em.
>>29911612
Thank you, but I wish this was satire. My life is like this every day and I'm always very anxious when I'm anywhere by myself, even at work.
>>29911696
The magicians keep to themselves. They don't mess with the hosts, we don't mess with them because we have to share our turf. Sometimes they get mad because I take the table they're doing their tricks on so I can put the tray of food down. It's kinda funny because they can't say anything and have to work around me. But no, there's no "inside tricks". These guys were pretending to be weird to a person who is weird. Hopefully they're not back tomorrow and ask me what I meant by what I said
>>29910616
I'm sorry for you. Woman here, we usually try to keep our special succubi spells secret, that girl was clearly a novice. Anyways, she doomed you to a life without belly gfs
Here's another time I fucked up
>picking up tray from a room with 2 grandparents and a little kid inside
>I pick up the tray and ask the grandparents, "do you guys need anything Else? Juice or milk?" just to be polite
>they said, "sure another milk would be nice"
>damn it you're not supposed to say yes, but okay
>I try to be different by not saying, "sure give me one sec or sure just a minute"
>instead I try to spice it up by saying something different
>"sure give me two seconds." is what was in my head
>instead I say, "sure give me two secs (sounds like I asked for sexual favors for milk from an old lady)"
>I freeze, quickly turn around and walk out of the room with my teeth biting my lips
>I come back with milk and thank God they didn't order again after that
>>29910616
It's okay girls like mysterious guys
You should give her your magic wand
>why would this girl kachow me
JUST
>>29912407
I wish women were more up front rather than trying to scare the crap out of me with spells and wands. Normally I look for a good personalty in a girl, the belly isn't much of a game changer. But I wouldn't mind a belly to counter me being a skelly. Maybe the spell won't last too long
>>29910616
>why would this girl Kachow me
We are reaching new levels of shitposting I didn't even think was possible
>>29911612
You forgot the N in garden you friken mongo
>too late for that
What did OP mean with this?
>>29912459
they understood what you meant, anon, it sounds dumb but that's all
no need to keep focusing on that memory
>>29910616
She was being playful you fucking autist. You should have grabbed your chest and fallen to your knees like you got shot.
Instead you stood there and stared at them like you were literally retarded.
>>29910616
Yeah that's a pretty bad one OP, you fucked up. Don't be too hard on yourself though, think about it this way: in the English language there are essentially an infinite number of responses you could have came up with to reply, but only a small handful of those would be considered funny or appropriate in that situation. It's not easy for people who aren't social butterflies to come up with that small handful of responses when pressured on the spot like that, with no forewarning. She didn't mean any harm, she was just being playful, she might have even thought you were attractive and that's why she kachowed you. Try and learn from it, brainstorm some things you could have done in that situation that would have been an improvement:
>just politely chuckle and say nothing
>pretend to be hit by her spell or something
>return fire with "avada kedabra" or some other Harry Potter shit
Don't let your fuckup bum you out too bad, just think, they have probably already forgotten all about you.
I think it was a good answer OP. Mysterious and what not. They're still probably wondering you meant. Maybe they'll find some crazy meaning behind it and think you were cool.
>>29910616
I work at a hospital too, OP. I also do a mindless job that pays not well. But I work in surgery department so patients are unconscious 95% of the time and I don't have to deal with annoying friends or family. The surgical staff are all pretty broey so I don't have to force conversation. Eventually you learn basic responses to any given situation. "tell me about it" is my go-to phrase because it works for pretty much everything. I'm sure you'll find yours soon OP.
>>29912459
Probably not as awkward as you think it was but the way you tell it makes the situation sound hilarious. You should proposition more old people for sexual intercourse and post here.
>>29912712
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=avant+garde+
It's too late for all of us senpai
>>29912763
op knows this.
guess who's the literal retard for not knowing that just by reading the op?
Don't laugh, don't respond, keep a straight face and deadpan. It makes them feel like an idiot for trying to make a joke.
>>29912763
lol i actually do the same thing when people throw stuff to me. let it fall, make no attempt to catch it. like why are you throwing things idiot?
joke's on you... heh
*reaches into leather pocket*
*whips out dual citizenship cards with a deft movement of the wrist*
*they embed themselves in both your nipples, causing instant death*
heh... nothing personell, I'm just a dual citizen.... heh... heh
*rips them out of your nipples, inserts them into my nipples and then walks away smirkingly*
heh... never had a chance...
u should have said you're immune to novice kachow spells
I have a similar experience with a random girl talking to me out of nowhere
>senior year of high school
>senior skip day, but parents make me go
>last class of the day, has like 5 people in it
>teacher makes us help set up an art show that is being put on in the cafeteria
>set up some shit but then get bored and start to look at the exhibits.
>bend over to read a poem next to a painting when suddenly I am poked in the shoulder and hear a "boop" noise
>short girl, glasses, brown hair, 7/10 who Ive never seen before
>Think that it's someone whom I've met and simply forgotten about, I say HEY loud as fuck
>she seems unfazed by this burst of beta rays and begins talking to me about art and shit
>Have absolutely no artistic ability to speak of and am not interested in art whatsoever
>but she's cute as fuck
>so cute, in fact, that I start to get a boner
>I quickly become Mr Pockethands but she looks down right as I start to get it
>pretty sure she saw because she makes a little noise and quickly looks up
>she keeps talking to me for some reason
>She asks me what I would like to draw
>again, not creative in the slightest so spaghetti oozes out of my pockets
>"uhidunno"
>proceed to fucking tell her that I have no artistic ability for some dumbshit reason
>"then why are you here?"
>"because my teacher forced us"
>"oh"
>just then her teacher calls her class over to leave
>she goes to shake hands
>I stand there shaking her hand like an idiot waiting for her to tell me her name
>"Name?" she asks
>fuck
>sperge out my name and she tells me hers
>after that she leaves
a-at least I'll never see her again
>>29913337
>smirkingly
shit, that's a good one. should've put a
>pshh...
instead of a
>heh...
on the last line though, and removed the
>heh
on the 1st line, you overused
>heh
other than that, well done anon. 7/10
They were fucking around goddamn OP stop taking everything so seriously
They were fucking around goddamn OP stop taking everything so seriousIy
Thank you, r9k, for the support. I feel less retarded and I'll be prepared with a response for my next grill encounter. Hopefully I can cast some spells back and I can be somewhat normal. All in all it doesn't really matter because they're all jail bait anyway, so it's not like I'd be able to make a move or anything
>>29912884
I wouldn't mind granny poon, but this lady would've turned to dust had I touched her with my weiner
>>29913642
Don't be torn up about boners in the future, anon.
If she really did like you then she'd probably be flattered about the boner, or at least not mind it.
And if she didn't then, I mean, its not your fault, can't always help it.
Trust me, I've asked this question to a real girl before
>>29910616
Why would you care? Unless their friend was a fucking cancer patient you'll probably never see them ever again. Especially if you work at a regional hospital. Just accept that you got kachowed dumbass.
>>29915584
>Trust me, I've asked this question to a real girl before
Oh I have as well, its just that it seems like a bad first impression, you know? And the weird/fucked up thing is that I looked her name up in the most recent yearbook we got and the only person I found with the same name as her looked nothing like what I remember seeing and was actually fat and ugly. Feels kinda bad senpai
Normies like my dry humor. I would just been somthing like
>you trying to turn me into a rabbit or somthing?
If you didnt care how retarded you looked you could of pretended to be a rabbit and started nibbling on the girls while you gave yourself bunny ears.
>>29911312
If you see her again kachow her back then politely ask what the fuck kachow means maybe she liked you
It's too late for that. There was a time when you could have reacted with joy to their joy, but you have retreated into a hard shell of suppressed emotions.
>tfw you try to imagine what you could do better in OP's situation
>nothing better comes to mind
>>29916900
We're all able to relate because we're autists. I still have no idea what a proper response would be nor what I would do. I have one goal and focus at work and that's to stay productive. I can be friendly and nice, but like I said it's all during small talk. I can't break character.
