Hey guys, I don't know what to do anymore so I thought I'd ask here cause s few more here might have similiar problems.
In Short:
I grew up without a father only with anxious fucked women around me. I'm 20 now. I've been depressed and anxiety ridden for all my teenage years. I realized something was wrong on a shroom trip at age 16 so I tried self improving: fit, being social, and you know what. The thing is that all that was and still is forced and I can't seem to find a inner drive. Nothing gives me anything. All an act which seems symptomatic for fatherless people. I've been on ssris which just castrated me basically, tricyclic antidepressiva and now ritalin. Ritalin kinda deals with the anxiety but when thats gone theres nothing left. The only thing that makes me feel normal is microdosing with lsd or combining it with ritalin.. thats only possible every 3 days.
I might try cannabis + ritalin.
But otherwise I don't know anymore.
do more drugs they make you see reality clearer
>>29905130
Shit man I have a father but he's a piece of shit. It must be better to grow with a shit father than to grow with none at all because I'm not as fucked up as you seem to be. Stay strong dude.
>>29905130
I tried using Cannabis and other drugs for ten years to deal with your issue. Go to a doctor man, tell them about you thoughts and they will start the process of finding the right pill for you.
It's not normal to feel that way even though it is on this board, I still think that way due to years of conditioning myself to but I'm okay with things. I'm on Zoloft and generally give zero fucks now, I believe most of your anxiety and depression/wanting out comes from the fact that you HAVE to be empathetic to those around you but nobody shows you any empathy.
You want out from this prison of having to care while being neglected and punished for things beyond your own control. And the truth is it's almost impossible for you to break out without medication.
Once you stop caring, you won't have to please them. You can ignore calls and not give a fuck, talk at women instead of to them, and generally realize you'll be alright.
Changed my life dude, told a doctor my story and he helped me out. Just make sure you trust the guy, and if you have negative reactions stop taking it and tell your doctor, you'll get a different pill.
>>29905130
yeah well you're not ugly, you're like a 8/10 so get over it, you have no real problem if you look like you do
>>29906087
Wew lad
oreogangongano
>>29906087
Post of the year
Sorry op, I have no advice on drugs
>>29905130
What is the reason for your depression?
It's as if all that stress and depression just put up a wall as some kind of self protection, a really big ego basically. But instead of doing it's job it separetes my body from my mind and world. And yes some drugs which enhance the senses let me see through as fucked up as that seems. Then I have a sense of balance can do parkour and drive longboard and actually engage in conversation or play an instrument. Otherwise theres just no feedback.
To the second poster: thanks dude, sometimes I lose just all hope.
>>29906202
I'm no virgin and most people don't see that theres something wrong with me, but that just shows me how good of an act I can put up. But I stopped caring about that stuff when I realized that any of that doesn't help in any way with my real deeper problem.
>>29906199
Hey, thanks for your reply. I've actually been to an psyvhotherapist but he couldn't help and the neurologist I go to just gives me anything I ask him. I'll try a new psychologist soon, those meds just seem to mask the underlieng issues..
