Who /Mental Illness/ here?
Anyone just come back from the ward?
I just crossed over a month outside. Still depressed as shit. Saw my therapist today, that was okay. Getting back on some meds which I had stopped because I thought I would be tripping, but that's not happening anytime soon, so I'm back on the lithium and trazodone. Trying to collect enough poppy pods to get a buzz on, failing miserably. Stayed up all night two days ago and slept for 15+ hours last night. Almost out of weed. Send help.
Applying to see a psychologist. Probably gonna have to wait 3-4 months though.
I tried to kill myself when I was 16 and I still have bad anxiety but I'm learning to manage it
Now I'm 22 with a job, friends and night school classes
Feels good
>>29904463
Borderline, Depressions, Avoidant Personality disorder(+social anxiety and agoraphobia)
Got released from a mental ward a few weeks ago and I am currently going to a day hospital
Life sucks
>>29904463
Depesonalization/disassociation disorder here. I'm on autismbux for about 2 years and I'm on roller coaster of improvement and decline.
>>29905606
Gotta love that wait. I've been trying to get a psychiatrist for 4 months, right now I'm waiting for a callback from the mental health department of a hospital over an hour away.
>>29905720
How bad is your disassociation?
>>29905845
From a scale of 1 to 10, I'd say a solid 7 most days, but sometimes it gets REAL bad (around a 9).
Feels like my life is a bad dream really, not a nightmare but just an uneasy dream
>in the mental hospital, just turned 18 so I was in the adult ward
>there's this fat depressed chick
>good facial structure but she's maybe 5/10, pretty bad skin, overweight
>one day I'm chilling in the common and see she's slutting it up letting boys touch her breasts
>she makes a move on me when we're sitting on a loveseat
>after this we're just sitting cuddling for hours and hours every day
>I sport nearly a permanent erection
>feel her up sometimes, she gently sets limits to make sure I'm not fingering her
>we straighten out whenever orderlies walk by
>they don't really seem to care, because we aren't harming ourselves or anyone
>I always am very nice to her and try to cheer her up
>she starts a med regime where she has one of those wheely things and tubes pumping drugs into her veins
>we can't really cuddle anymore
>start feeling bad
>start feeling bad for her
>her discharge is coming up
>ask her for a kiss
>she gives me a quick peck on the lips
>she won't give me contact info because I was just a roach to her or something, it wouldn't have worked out anyways
>I still think about her every so often
muteblocks
>>29906073
I'm get a bit of dissociation and derealization, but it's pretty mild. Drug use can exacerbate it though, two nights ago I didn't get any sleep and smoked a bunch of weed, the entire next day felt like a waking dream. It wasn't bad or anything, just surreal.
>>29906095
The staff at the unit I went to pretended not to see anything when people coupled up too. I wonder how common it is to let those things slide. I don't feel like I've heard any stories about them getting uptight about that kind of stuff except in under 18 wards.
What do I need to do if i don't feel hapiness?
>Everyone I know has heard about the anxiety and self harm
>>29906853
They don't know about the BPD though, the normie scum think it is autism :^)
>>29906382
Talked to a girl who had huge issues with that during her visits maybe two weeks ago in a thread like this one, so they definitively exist. I can however not say I have any experience of my own to add to that.
>>29904463
>bpd, dysphoria, bipolar 2, anxiety
kill me now
Just got back from my therapist.
OCD and bipolar type 1 reporting in.
Doing exposure therapy with a little psychotherapy on the side.
We've been at it for several months and have really only made progress on my intrusive thoughts from the OCD. It's good progress, and my therapist is a good man who genuinely wants to help me, but I can't help but feel a little discouraged. It's going to be years, and years, before I'm on the same level as people my age.
I have schizophrenia and I feel like it's ruining my life. I dropped out of school because of it and it is putting my relationship in jeopardy. I've been hospitalized for month-long periods at a time and nobody knew what was wrong with me for a really long time.
I think it's what makes me transgender and that's what is ruining my relationship, along with poor memory, scattered motivation.
Immense anxiety, Aspergers syndrome, Constant Crippling Depression.
>has anyone just come back from the ward?
Yes, just woke up from a coma after hanging myself by my belt, thanks, asshole!
Who /severe clinical depression/ here?
My 'second' consience is sentient, it refers to me as a separate being, it refers to itself as 'Blue', he isn't just a figment of my imagination (well, he might be), he has motives, separate beliefs to mine, gives criticism to jobs I've done in MY mind as 'perfect', he isn't me. he is sentient, but isn't a separate person altogether. He hasn't affected me physically yet, he's even saying
> "Don't Anon! You'll- And you're writing what I'm saying down, stop, stop it, now."
I might seem crazy, but, I know this:
>"if you think you are crazy, you are crazy-ish, if you know you are crazy, you definately are crazy, but if you don't know, you could be even worse..."
Thanks for listening to my madness.
>>29907447
The words the psychiatrist used were major and treatment resistant.
>>29904463
Went to the ward twice. Been in the hospital ward-entry area 3 times.
With help from the hospital I've applied to school and I'm 3 days into my course.
I still can't leave the house without wanting to jump in front of every passing car and train because I'm a mentally fucked up ugly midget fucking freak who nobody will ever love and should probably just jump down the stairwell right now.
>>29907243
Have a (You), my fellow borderline.
>want to self-harm
>it's summer, no real clothes to hide anything
>start havingmasochistic sex fantasies
>>29909599
stop attention whoring. you have BPD, we get it. trippys are no fun
>>29909656
I'm plenty fun. :(
>>29904463
> 18 years old
>Diagnosed with both OCD and ADD
> Have paranoid and schizoid personality disorder
Great, fucking great
>>29904463
>Nigger syndrome
Sup I got diagnosed with bipolar but I stopped taking my meds and now I feel better? Therapist says I just had a fucked up childhood and there's nothing really wrong with me but I've been to the psych ward 2x
>>29909599
If you want to self harm, try rubbing ice on the place you want to harm. It satisfies the urge without causing any real damage.
Major treatment-resistant depression.
Had to quit smoking weed because I'm looking for a job. Left my meds in another state.
Currently tutoring third graders in math for some cash I should probably save but will inevitably end up blowing on booze.
Seriously considering suicide because I feel I'm a hack who doesn't know what he's doing tutoring and lack the skills necessary for the jobs I'm applying to.
Also dealing with intrusive thoughts about all sorts of horrible shit, and flashbacks to seeing a dude die the last time I worked.
I'm kind of giving up hope on recovery. I just want the suffering to end.
>tfw too mentally ill to seek help
>this thread
Noone will suddenly appear and care for you, or even feel sorry for you. You want to get better: choose to get better.
>>29911516
>just be youself
You are worse than trash.
>inb4 you make a no effort troll reply
saving this thread from oblivion, I know you faggots have more to say
does aspergers count?
its ruining my life.
I hear voices in my head from when my head created it to keep me sane after I lost my mother.
Dissociative identity disorder.
Sucks, but almost have my undergrad done thanks to VA disability comp. and the GI bill, and haven't had an inpatient stay for a couple years now.
>>29912048
That's not what he's saying at all though
>>29912951
Its the same level of thoughtless advice
>>29910747
You mean kleptomania?
I stopped taking my antidepressants completely and suddenly 3 years ago. It's tough most/every night.
> go to my weekly/monthly psych meeting
> tell her I'm going to school in the fall again
> "Why don't you take a year off?"
> "No I just spent the last 4 going nowhere."
> "But what if you don't get better?"
> everyone expects me to fail
> I know I'll become even more of a wreck
> I don't have control over my life anymore
> I'm going to be on disability forever
I didn't ask to be crazy.
>>29913570
Go for school.
I honestly can't even understand how some psychs expect you to get better without having a goal to work towards.
>>29907716
You have a tulpa you dolt. Look it up.
My therapist moved and my new therapist is indian and she refuses to even pretend to give a fuck about my problems.
>there's a junkie who legitimately wants to kill me
>I have text messages that I could easily take to the cops and get him arrested, but that would definitely lead to my death
>he knows where I live and thanks to you fucks, I can't buy a gun
>"You shouldn't contact that person anymore, then."
Now, I just taunt the guy and hope that he breaks into my house so I can legally remove his useless ass. I'm having trouble deciding between the following methods: pipe wrench, box cutter, hatchet, axe, large tanto knife, mediocre boxing skills, bowling ball, or butchers knife.
>>29914063
Ask /k/ for advice? They should know what'd be good for home defense.
>PTSD
>AVPD
>Depression
I got kicked out of my foster parents' house, so now I'm living with my biological Dad, and I had to socialize a lot more. I've been feeling a bit better now that I'm developing my social skills at least.
The entire reason I ever got kicked out was because of yelling in the house. I got so anxious and angry that I couldn't take it and got into a fight.
Why can't I be normal?
