>Wake up mom at 3am
>Tell her i'm hungry for chicken mcnuggets and to go buy some now
>Says she has wake up early for work tomorrow (dumbass that's today) and she'll pick some up on the way home
>Fuck that
>Place subwoofer speakers against the wall facing parents room and blast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPRF1gXh5VY
>She knocks my room door for 5 minutes meekly asking me to turn it off but I kick back and scream CHICKEN MCNUGGETS every time
>Finally she stops and gets in her car and comes back 40 minutes later with my mcnuggets
Kek fucking normalfags
My god, I fucking love these threads
>>29902996
>and blast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPRF1gXh5VY
That's actually pretty catchy.
>>29903042
Me too. I missed them. I remember at one point, they were getting posted every day. Now they get posted once in a blue moon and newfags think that it's a true story.
>>29902996
What flavor of dipping sauce did she bring you? I always get barbecue.
>>29904358
>barbecue
Ewwwwwwww.
The only correct answer is ranch
>>29902996
that song is pepecore to the max
>Mom gets off work early without calling first
>Finds me in the pantry emptying my poop jug into the cat's litter box
>Starts yelling at me, saying that I'm fucking disgusting
>Tell her that it's all her fault for breaking up with my dad when I was six
>She tells me that I need to be an adult
>Cry and scream and even throw my shit jug at her
>She says that from now on I have to go to bed before midnight
>Tell her to fuck off and go to my room
>Don't go to bed because it's fucking bullshit and I'm not a god damn wage slave
>She opens the door flat out at like one AM and is really pissed
>Tries to push me away from the computer, but I'm too heavy
>I start yelling at the top of my lungs
>She rips my computer tower out of the wall and takes it up to her room
>Knows I'm too fat to climb the stairs and thinks shes won
>Lay down at the bottom of the stairs and scream until my throat hurts
>Still no computer
>She goes to work the next day
>Wake up at like 3 PM and no computer
>Bitch has fucking overstepped her boundaries now
>Go into the bathroom and lift top off toilet tank so I can shit in it
>Sitting on tank beginning turtle when I get an idea
>Pucker up my ass and waddle into the kitchen
>Take huge shit in the microwave and set the timer for three hours
>Mom comes home an hour later and the whole house fucking reeks
>She's screaming about a fire in the kitchen
>Can hear her crying for hours and even hear firemen stamping around
>Later that evening she comes in sobbing
>Sets up my computer tower for me
Flawless victory
>>29906855
>I'm too fat to climb the stairs
God damn, you sound lazy. No one's too fat to climb stairs.
>>29905689
>pepecore to the max
What's some other good pepecore trax to annoy parents with?
>dad gets uppity
>remind him who paid off whose underwater mortgage
>remind him who makes mom keep giving him a weekly hand job
>Monday afternoon
>tugging it to Home Shopping Network all day long
>Finish squeezing big boy gooey gunk from my winker
>Mumsies comes home from work
>Poo poo in my diapie due to excitement
>Earned 70 good boy points earlier today by promising not to empty my piss bottles on mumsie's bed while she was at work
>Expect delicious tendies immediately
>Squat walk downstairs with full diaper of excitement
>No good smell
>Mumsie looks upset
>Anon you're 33, I talked with a friend about getting you a job
>Fucking normie mom
>Remove my shit filled diaper and wield it like a sling
>IM A GOD BOY I HAVE GOOD BOY POINTS GIVE ME CHICKEN TENDIES
>Anon please..
>IM DAVIE YOURE GOLIATH
>Swing my shit sling at her
>Diaper falls apart and flings wet sloppy big boy chocolate all over the room
>Ring of fecies whips her in the eye and she falls do the ground recoiling and grabbing her face
>Slap her open handed and squat over her face
>YOUR LACK OF TENDIES SEALS YOUR DOOM, I LOOSE MY BOWELS WITH A BOOM!
>Queue a huge wet fart bubble followed by a mexican mudslide in the rainy season
>Literally pours over her face like a generous helping of tendie chilli
>She wipes it off her face and tries to gasp for air
>Quickly plug her shit covered mouth with my still-erect big boy weenie peenie
>GIVE ME EXTRA GOOD BOY POINTS OR ELSE ILL CHOKE YOU MUMSIE
>She spasms and mumbles what might be a yes
>waddle back to my room and play some XBox
>Serves me tendies later while sobbing and promises to give me lots of good boy points
>mfw I put that bitch in her place
>mfw I always get my way.
>>29908369
Come up with your own one next time 8^)
>>29906855
She probably asked the fire man what to do, and they said give him back his pc firefighters are Bros.
>>29908473
She didn't have to ask the fireman shit, she realized who was boss :^)
>>29907520
Hello, newfag.
When did you move here from reddit?
>>29909358
got em xD *high fives*
>>29908369
>Home Shopping Network
lel
>Stepmom starts bitching that Im making noise when its late
>says she needs to go to work in the morning
>hear her wake up
>go to the toilet to take a massive shit
>dont flush
>she wants to go to the bathroom, but Im in there, snickering at my massive shitnado
>she gets really mad
>walk out without flushing
>she gets disgusted and almost pukes because the whole bathroom smells like death
Dumb bitch
>>29909358
got em xD *fist bumps*
>>29910825
You should have picked up your dookie and thrown it at her. Don't you know anything about NEET life?
>>29908369
>IM DAVIE YOU'RE GOLIATH
>Be 2am
>Get hungry
>Yell to mommy I want tendies
>She doesn't answer
>Go into her room
>Yell to her that I want tendies
>She tells me to leave her alone as she has work in the morning
>I turn on her light and yell "TENDIES!"
>She asks me what is my problem and to go to sleep
>I grab her antique glass lamp she inherited after her grandmother's death from her night stand and slam it against her head and yell "TENDIES!"
>She goes and heats up tendies
>Enjoy my delicious tendies
>1 am, playing club penguin on my laptop on the living room
>wifes son slaps me in the face from behind
>tells me to go to bed
>"ye- yes sir" I say
>get up, move stuff around so he thinks I put it away
>go to shed and play on the stool I keep there
That tool has no idea, fucking devilish.
o.O I hope none of these stories are real because mistreating your parents like that is really wrong
>>29912360
>mistreating your parents like that is really wrong
but REALLY hilarious
>>29912428
these stories are just disturbing and not funny at all
>>29912360
Some of them are obviously not real, some of them are.
Here is one I made several years ago on /jp/
https://warosu.org/jp/thread/S11613238#p11627128
I naturally gravitated to this board about a year ago, because jannyboy at /jp/ is being a tight ass that wont let anyone have fun
>>29912360
most of these are angry masturbation fantasies by NEETs who know Mommy would dump them over the state line if they acted out anywhere near this bad.
>>29905664
>not sweet and sour
fucking plebian
>>29908060
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVabwZlZgsg
It's just an entire band of robots.
>>29912597
>spells plebeian wrong
That's ironical as fuck.
>3 PM
>wake up after xbox marathon
>feel the morning hungies
>expect my morning tendies left out by mummy before her wageslave time
>waddle my way into the kitchen
>no tendies
>mummy forgot my tendies
>anger fills my gelatinous body
>angry poopies overcome me and i poopsie on the floor
>smear poopsie all over floor and myself
>the smell of hot, churned tendies poopie fills the air
>wageslave mom returns home at 5 PM
>i tackle her and scream "BIG BOY HUNGIE FOR TENDIES"
>she screams out "ANON, WHAT HAPPENED?!"
>"MUMMY DIDN'T LEAVE MORNING TENDIES BIG BOY HUNGIE"
>she tries to reason with me as my shell of poopie cracks off covering her in dried poopies
>"A-anon, I'm so sorry. I actually took the day of today to go on a d-date. There was a guy at the office, and..."
>"MUMMSIE WUMSIE IS MINE ME NEED TENDIES"
>angry poopsies water dribbles through my undie wundies
>"MUMMY MINE"
>poopie doopie makes my undies droopie until a hole bursts open releasing my tendies goop all over mummy
>mummy begins to cry and vomit
>i cover myself in poopsie and begin screeching
>mummy is covered in tendie poopsie, crying
>i smack her in the face with poopie covered man milkies
>mummy keeps and says "You're such a good, big boy, anon. I'll get you tendies now, a-and I won't go out on any more dates."
>victory waddle back to xbox and celebrate with tendies
>>29913002
>plays games on console
FUCKING NORMALFAG GET OFF MY BOARD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>29902996
Autism Evolved
Originalio
>>29913002
new chaddy crisis averted! good job.
>>29904358
B U F F A L O
U F F A L O
F F A L O
F A L O
A L O
L O
O
OR GO
H O M E
O M E
M E
E
>>29906855
Best one imo. WITNESSED!
>>29904358
>>29905664
>>29912597
>>29914171
HONEY MUSTARD OR I EAT MY NUGGIES DRY
>>29914823
>HONEY
Real men eat Hot.
i know these threads are a joke, but back before i moved out my dad would legit just pick me up some tendies to eat when i would wake up in the afternoon
its just now im realizing how privileged i was
>>29915752
>i moved out
see
>>29913170
>locked myself in the bathroom and threw a fit all because i didn't get a ds lite for my birthday
>got it the next day
you guys can bully me
>>29915362
>Hot mustard
>Real men
>kek
English all day senpai
>TFW NEET's have so much free time they can creatively come up with different scenarios that never actually happened.
Gotta admit, I'm not nearly as creative as some of these NEET's. The stories make me laugh though, I guess when you have all the free time in the world it helps.
>>29903236
I remember that. I never understood why these threads stop tho. I love them
>>29916334
Cause they attracted so much attention from reddit and tumblr
>>29916219
You dip your McNuggets in that?
>>29916668
hell yeah, also have a ketchup dip along side it
>don't knock it until you try it
>>29903042
>>29903236
>>29916334
All of these tbhh.
