>bathroom is next to roommates bedroom
>she can hear my plops everytime I take a dump
>not putting a few sheets of paper on top of the water first
>also prevents splashing
why not just save your poops for when you shower?
or shower when you need to poop?
>>29900524
>OH MY GOD HIS SHIT PLOPS INTO THE TOILET WHEN HE'S SHITTING TOTALLY UNLIKE MINE THAT GRACEFULLY FLOATS DOWN INTO THE TOILET WATER LIKE A GRACEFUL FEATHER AND DOESN'T SMELL
No one gives a shit bro
>>29900556
I do this but she MUST know
I'm waiting for the day I hear "why do you wash your hands and then flush the toilet afterwards?" or "why do you flush the toilet mid shower"
I FUCKING HATE POOING IT MAKES ME SO ANXIOUS
>>29900524
she's not to fuck you anyway lad so don't worry about it
>tfw piece of poop clings to your butthole and falls down your leg when you get up to wipe
no one cares, i would piss in the water just to make more noise.
make yourself a king not a pleb.
wtf I hate plops now
>>29900605
I refuse to beIieve this actually happened.
>>29900605
>tfw piece of poop clings to your butthole and falls down your leg when you get up to wipe
>get up to wipe
is you retarded who the fuck stands up to wipe you autist
>work at a busy place
>need to shit
>insane traffic in the toilet like 10 people per minute
>shit plops loudly
>"On top of spaghetti"
*pllllobploplop*
>"All covered with cheese"
>*plobplob*
>"I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed"
>PPPPLOPFFFFF
>>29900605
>when you get up to wipe
Are Americans really so fat that they can't wipe while sitting on the toilet?
>>29900748
Why do you ask questions that you know the answer to? Of course we're too fat to wipe sitting down ya fucking prick.
>>29900591
Leave it in toilet whilst you shower and then flush it after
Dude... just run the faucet thing while your take a shit then she will hear the water running rather than your shit
Does anyone else like it when you can hear a qt peeing?
>roommate
>she
I almost fell for it
>>29900829
yes of course. it's great
>>29900656
>>29900748
>putting your hand anywhere near the toilet
>not getting off the toilet, squatting and then wiping
>>29900545
Thank you so much Anon
>can here upstairs neighbor taking a long piss
>not sure if they're female so I can't fap to it
>>29900577
except opwhen he takes a shit
>>29900931
Do you imagine the pee coming out of her pussy?
>>29901494
what else would you be imagining
>>29901677
your bulls cum
lmao
>>29901677scat of course
>>29901411
>>29900829
Girls piss hard as FUCK
Like holy shit
>>29900577
Yeah, exactly. This is a meaningless shitpost.
>living in an apartment
>living in an apartment with a woman
>living in an apartment with a woman you don't get to fuck or even see naked
>tfw too anxious to shit while other people are awake
>stay up to 4am with the sole intention of shitting
>>29901754
Holy shit this was a problem for me in the army. Had to keep it in until the light-out or secretly go take a dump in what used to be bathroom for officers. Damn. Conscription is rough.
>>29901781
I wouldn't give a damn in army, army should be an opportunity to be a man and take a shit whenever you want.
>>29901781
Fuck man how did you survive the army? As a robot I can't think of anything worse, full of Chads and normies
>>29901754
>always do this
>always see that my sister is still awake
>have to take a shit anyway
>>29901806
You're sort of right, but if you have a mental block, you just have it. I already had to overcome one, for pissing next to another guy. On our Day of Oath one fish-eyed creep came to urinal next to me and stared my dick for full 5 seconds. Shit like that makes me super uncomfortable, and I even have no mental blocks about nudity. We would walk around buck naked all the time when officers weren't around. It's just excreting for me that's a problem
>>29900962
Autism : The Post
if you don't put all your weight onto your left cheek and lift the right one to wipe just kill yourself my man
also don't shit in public bathrooms
>>29901856
It's actually pretty manageable when
a) everyone had the same hair and clothes
b) everyone is equally worthless
c) no roasties (BIG ONE)
>>29901858
Is your sister a normie? Mine is pretty introverted but even she has friends and we barely talk
>>29901893
>not getting a proper clean by squatting in comfort and using wet wipes
>putting your hand anywhere near the toilet bowl after shitting in it
>having awkward balance on the toilet seat
>>29901873
it became an habit for you to be worried, try peeing next to a guy or taking a shit with people awake,while drunk or something, with another state of mind you'll notice that all is inside your head. I mean, it happens to most of us. But it can't be an impediment to be a normal human being, we all shit and fart and stuff.
>>29901856
Except 65% of the army at any point is 18-23 year olds who think battlefield is real life. They're all betas just trying their best to be alphas
>>29901952
do you have the hand coordination of a child that you have to worry about touching the toilet while wiping?
>>29901920
Yeah she's a normie. She's often really annoying too since she never lets me finish talking. Everytime I want to talk with my parents she interupts me and shows them something she found on Facebook. It's so fucking annoying
>>29901992
>PUTTING YOUR HAND ANYWHERE NEAR THE TOILET BOWL AFTER YOU SHIT IN IT
>>29902016
>wiping your butt
>putting your hand anywhere near your asshole after you shit
>>29902046
>wanting a shitty butt
I bet you don't use wet wipes
>>29902070
>having this much autism
>>29901956
1 portion of alcohol and it all goes away.
I've had this ubermensch complex for years now, I need to create an image of myself to people around me that I never shit or fart, never sweat, never smell of anything, never lose breath (important), never forget anything and never get lost.
>>29901706
Yeah I think they have wider peeholes which gives them a bigger stream
>>29902081
>normies don't understand this autism
Figures.
>>29901989
Conscription works differently, mate. 10% there take that shit seriously. For the rest of us it's a fucking boys school where you're shouted at if get caught for being lazy (always be lazy)
>>29902112
Try dropping mind, most substances like alcohol and etc are just mind stoppers, your mind is just like any other, maybe a lil bit more pretentious.
>>29901893
I wipe from the front
>>29901724
Nothing wrong with an apartment, you podunk
>>29900524
You have the tools but you can't use your fucking head to solve a simple problem. This is what I do in public restrooms:
>pull a bit of toilet paper and make a "bridge" over the hole
>repeat the make a sort of nest
>plops are muffled
>>29902156
I do appreciate that you're trying to help me improve, but it's quite alright really.
I'm only pretentious when it comes to myself, it's much easier to listen to others. I don't really lack empathy per se. Add to this that I'm considered funny in a smart(ass) way and that I'm like 3/5. There are many anons here who need much more help with their social life than me.
>>29901995
Sounds shit. I couldn't stand living with someone like that. I can hardly handle talking to my parents, never mind strangers and women. No wonder I'm KV
Do any of you guys pee in front of your sisters or vice versa?
>>29900524
why should i shame myself for it? i always thought it's a normal function of the body? my whole life is a lie.
>>29902323
I'm literally the only polite person living in this house. My sisters are always shouting really loudly when they're talking (which is very pleasant when you're in a car and you can't get out). I hate it when they're in the kitchen or living room, I don't want to be around them. I often can't even eat something in the kitchen without having to listen to their dumb shit. It drives me insane.
>>29902344
No, I make my pees as quiet as possible.
I honestly wonder how I'd even act with a gf if I ever got one. I'm so insanely shy and pathetic she'd probably dump me within a day.
>>29902386
I know how you feel, sometimes I have to go and visit my normie relatives and they're so fucking loud and talkative. I seriously don't get how people can just talk for hours on end. I can easily go days without talking to people
>>29900545
this. Also turn on the dam shower fan.
A) it covers up some of the noise
B) it gets the air moving and doesn't make the bathroom smell like absolute hell afterward.
I don't get why so many people don't turn on the damn shower fan while pooping.
>>29900524
>living with a girl.
how the fuck will you be able to take a shit then?
>>29901411
you can often hear the difference, I think
