>ITT:
prove that you are a robot by typing out one thing that only you do
>whipe my jizz on my covers every time I fap
>just flip it when I'm done
>repeat later that day / next day
I never heard about someone else doing this, and I've been doin it since I was 12 which translates into 8 years.
Back when I was around 12-15 I would also do this at sleepovers with sleeping people in the room.
I don't even care.
I like to cut skin off of my soles and eat it
The last time I left the house, Obama wasn't potus.
>>29896031
you haven't had a breath of fresh air for 8 years?
how have you not gotten completely insane and an hero'd yet?
>>29895857
I cut myself in the dick
>>29895979
I have a cum blanket I've been using for like 3-4 years. I throw it in the closet every time I'm done. It's so crusty and cum stained it's crazy. I don't even care either man, it's so convenient.
I can read with my eyes shut
I jerkoff with my pants still on and rub my cock through the fabric and then I finish in my pants too it depends sometimes I go to the toilet.
>>29895857
Statistically, that premise is a fucking lie.
I sit on my toilet like a frog (i think it's how frogs sit or something), with only my feet touching the seat and my ass in the air. I guess a better way to describe it is I sit like a baseball catcher. While I sit like that I put a bit of toilet paper around my index finger and put my finger in my anus just a tiny bit and it speeds up the pooping process somehow.
>>29896332
My little niece said this the other day.
It's nowhere near as cute coming from some 20-something autist on the internet.
>>29896031
i'm pretty bad at getting out but the longest i went continuously was about 4 months. that must be hard for you. are you okay with it?
>>29896405I am your little niece, faggot.
>>29896434
Oh, sorry. Tell your dumb whore of a mother if she can afford to buy you a tablet with internet she can stop hitting me up or money all the time.
>try to sleep but can't and end up hugging pillow/blanket like it's a girl and crying myself to sleep wishing there was someone here that cared enough to comfort me
>>29896484
>giving family money
wew lad
I have a tissue that I keep next to my PC monitor that I use solely for wiping my bogies on. I keep the same tissue for probably 2 or 3 weeks until it's covered in crusty old bogies then I chuck it away and get a new one.
It's probably a good thing I live alone
>>29896496
At least you can cry yourself to sleep, faggotI can't do either ;_;
>>29895857
Can someone explain that gif
>>29896544
hm, maybe I should adopt this?
yesterday when I was playing bogeyman go, I had nowhere to put it so I just snuck it back up inside
>pick my nose and eat the boogers
>eat my own cum
>eat dead skin tissue off of my fingers
>diaper fetish
>>29895857
I eat my boogers.
every subject of thought has a physical locaiton in the world somewhere I've been. completely unrelated to the thought subject.
I think it's some form of synaesthesia
>>29896401
Chinese people sit like that all the time. I used to work summers at a tourist destination that was popular with them and custodial would frequently have to clean up the bathrooms because they got shit everywhere from squatting on top of the seats.
>>29896720
It certainly keeps me from mindlessly wiping them all over the walls or my trousers or whatever
>>29896401
I do this! But.. it's mostly just because I went to jail for a few years and those fucking toilets are COLD and GROSS.
comfy way to poo none the less
don't regret pooing this way
>>29895857
every night when i go to bed i fantasize about being the pet/slave/whatever for a qt grill. Sometimes it's someone whom I know personally, sometimes it's a hot celebrity.
I can only get to sleep after my fantasy has reached a point where - for some reason - I have to sneeze.
As the level of humiliation and the intensity of how mean she is to me rises, the urge to sneeze also rises and when I finally get to sneeze, i'm all comfy and ready for a good night's sleep.
Sometimes it's enough if i fantasize about her ordering me to go down on all fours right in front of her and just stare at the tip of her shoes, sometimes things have to be a little more.. extreme. Likeher forcing my former 3-years-oneitis to masturbate while I'm tied down to the ground in front of her and a machine slowly shoves needles into my whole body and the only way to stop the machine is for her to have an orgasm
>>29896774
I have the same thing.
>>29895857
I have, for the past 5 years smoked pot/dabs/extract or have had edibles for every day of my life. There is very short amount of time in my life when I am not faded. also I've sucked my own dick. multiple times.
>>29895857
>be me
>wait for a train
>looking at a building
>in my mind I'm writing words into the bricks of the building
>one brick = one letter
>write whole storys into the bricks
>not enough bricks left -> go back to the first brick
>trying to write a story, that fits perfectly into all the bricks
When I wake up in the middle of the night, I like to pretend that it's because my imaginary girlfriend was snoring.
>>29896912
me 2 rekt faggot
>>29896887
>I can only get to sleep after my fantasy has reached a point where - for some reason - I have to sneeze.
>As the level of humiliation and the intensity of how mean she is to me rises, the urge to sneeze also rises and when I finally get to sneeze, i'm all comfy and ready for a good night's sleep.
are you confusing sneezing for orgasming somehow? it really sounds like it.
>>29895979
Nothing special.
>>29895996
Just disgusting.
>>29896031
Congratulations, you're a robot.
>>29896351
So what?
>>29896401
As>>29896822 said, it is very common for chinese/east asion people to shit like that.
>>29896887
Well, you've got a weird fetish. The sneezing part makes it special. But it does not prove, you're a robot, anon.
>>29896912
This proves, you're a pothead. Do you really think, you are the only one, who gets wasted every single day?
>>29896958
Awkward.. and cute. Definiately robot-like.
>>29896952
This is pretty interesting. I bet it takes a lot of concentration.
>>29896982
sounds kind of obvious i know
but i also fap all the time and have real orgasms that way
>>29897044
I can't stand to wait, so I need to focus on something.
It's difficult to make up sentences, that fit perfectly into the bricks, but when they do, it really makes me happy; people around me could actually recognize the happiness suddenly going on in me.
I don't use bricks only, btw. You can do it with all things, that are arranged in a pattern, windows for example or books standing in a shelf.
>>29895857
Contemplating suicide tbo
Say goodnight to all my stuffed animals to pretend I have a family
>>29895857
i have a bunch of categorized folders filled with anime pics that i use to help me visualize while i'm day dreaming
i'm essentially living a second life inside my head, i also have a folder filled with text documents that i use to record the events that occur
its cringe as fuck but i cant and wont stop, if anyone irl finds out i promise you i will hang myself the very same day
>>29896401
i do the frog part, it actually helps the shit come out easier
i don't do any of that finger up the bum nonsense though, that is gay as fuck tbqh
I haven't drank with my left hand for 4 years
when i find something funny i get up, laugh it off, and then return to what i was doing
>>29897138
>>29896351
>>29896496
>only you do
>>29895979
I've done this exact same thing for years now.
pray desperately for nonexistence
>>29895857
Shitpost on /r9k/ about not having a husky and lying to my parents about looking for a job while I play video games and watch anime
I watch videos of blackhead popping, monkeys grooming each other, and lice picking when I want to relax.
>>29896131
>normies think you need to leave the house to maintain sanity
>>29895857
90% of any entertainment in life I experience comes from fantasizing.
I fantasize when I listen to music. It's why I listen to it, it lets my fantasies come to life more easily.
I fantasize about being rich, about being famous, about being president, about living in a Utopia, about having a literally perfect girl by my side, about being badass, about exploring worlds. I fantasize movie, video game, and TV concepts and think about them for weeks on end, and while I think about them my hands unconsciously start flopping around like you'd see from a classic literal autist. I think about the most mundane and far off things from each of these concepts in my head and adjust them right to my liking. I almost never write any of this down, it's contained solely in my head.
I have no purpose in doing this, no drive or determination, it's not like it's even particularly fun. I just... do it.
>>29898002
Doesn't almost half of /an/ do this?
>>29895857
not stuff only I do but all the robot stuff I do/have done
>fantasize about killing people
>cut my skin off and eat it
>masturbate in public toilets
>shit in the shower and stamp it down the drain
>cum on my towel and continue to use it
>never change bedsheets
>go well out of my way to avoid contact with other people
>cum in sucks
>play sword fights with myself alone in my apartment
>>29895857
I'm sick of this website and I hate all of you.
I want friends and a life, not to wallow here. If you are under the age of 30, leave here NOW before your life gets worse.
Stop wasting your life here, get out and live. Good bye.I'll be back tomorrow fapping into whatever I can find and crying.
I genuinely spend all day in bed. I get out maybe 3,4 times a week to get food, supplies etc
I maxed out this game 9 times.
I have strong cravings to drink acids like vinegar and lemon juice. Presumably I'm cleaning myself out like a coffee pot.
>>29898042
You'd think thats what one board I lurk the most, but I never go on it.
>Become a sonic roleplayer
>it starts becoming like a shonen manga
>using dragon ball like attacks to fight enemies
>went through 4 generations of characters
Been at it for over 6 years
run up and down in a repeated pattern inside my house while daydreaming about being a wizard or a knight or a general in a war
I call my own particular gf every day and watch shows with her
:333
>>29898014
It's called ebony
>>29895857
>anal vore fetish
>>29895857
Not something that only I do as will be obvious, but something normies can never know about me.
I maintain an active relationship on the internet with a fictional character on a niche erotic role playing game created by vore fetishists and with an entire Vore subsystem. It is a community overrun with transexual furries and the like. I don't care. I wanted and needed some kind of loving, consistent connection that satisfied me sexually, and I am able to find it on there like nowhere else. There is no worry or care about cheating, about people being rude, about wanting to have alone time. If you want to take a break, go offline for a week. Come back on and it's like nothing ever happened, you can jack off to your own personal cyber session with a character straight out of a fantasy you've come to be familiar with. For whatever reason I orgasm much more strongly when engaging in these sessions than with porn.
Bonus points if anyone knows which game I'm referring to.
>>29898249
Please, anon, tell me the name of the game!
>>29895857
i get drunk every single day and watch anime. mainly anime made for girls. i also work night shift, have my own house, car and have had sex with 2 girls but havent talked to a girl outside of work for the last 7 years.
im 23 the only ambition i have left is to kill myself at 30, knowing ill never be a wizard.
>>29898267
It is one of the servers on Space Station 13, Citadel Station. It's free, all you need to do is download the application Byond and navigate to the SS13 section where it lists all servers. The normal servers are fun too, but it's a complicated game that can take a few days to learn even basic mechanics.
>>29896544
I do this too kek. Even do it at work.
It's a cleaner alternative than sticking em under the table.
>>29895996
Oh shit I thought I was the only one
SMELL MY FARRTS IN THA BATH
>>29896887
>As the level of humiliation and the intensity of how mean she is to me rises, the urge to sneeze also rises and when I finally get to sneeze, i'm all comfy and ready for a good night's sleep.
I sneeze when I think about killing myself, this whole sneezing thing must be documented in some science book somewhere.
>>29895857
I masturbate only to the idea of intimacy and companionship.
>>29896731
1 and 3 are very common
>>29895857
Pick up and throw away my dogs' poops when I go with them for walks.
You can always identify a norman by their snobbishness in refusing to dispose of the droppings of their own pet(s).
I also speak to them non jokingly like real people outside my residence as I would and do inside it.
Address them by their names or various nicknames.
"Which way should we go?"
What's the matter, do you hear niggers' gunshots/ghetto rap crap/nigging/faggots' fireworks in the distance?"
"You strapping young lads, did you see those bitches checking you out?"
People occasionally ask me if my dog(s) bite, (which I greatly appreciate them doing rather than touching them without permission) to which I often reply: "Yes/Yeah/Yup/Always/Of course/they can/could/may/might" or one of some several synonyms for 'yes'.
i like to eat dead skin off my head.
>>29898719
That's why I hate dog people.
Fucking attention whores, who do anything in order to feel special.
Meow.
>>29895857
I wash my hands after I fap if I'm going to play with my figures because I'm afraid that they're going to talk to each other about how disgusting I am in some bizarre Toy Story-like scenario.
I cant poop without holding something. Usually I grab a mop handle and pretend it's sword.
Sometimes I talk to myself and pretend I'm talking to Adam Lanza, also I frequently draw pictures of him and ever since a dream I had about a year and a half ago, there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about him. Man, I really did get sucked down the rabbit hole, but the hole is my mind and there's no way out of that.
I always spit on my toilet paper before I wipe my ass, not sure how many others do that.
>>29897471
You have to show the folders and documents now anon.
>>29897471
as OP I require further documentation on this.
I'm absolutely not trying to be a douche, this is genuinely interesting
If I see a pretty girl while I'm on the job I stare at her as much as possible so if she notices I can look away and then look back with a quizzical look as if we actually both looked at each other at the same time and then pull a half smile which I'm not sure if its creepy or cute but they smile back sometimes and that makes it worth it.
every time I need to take a shit, I automatically start thinking about oneitis as I start to push.
this has been going on for 4 years and it is a fucking curse and it needs to stop.
from age 12-16 I would avoid stepping on the second last step of the stairs down to my moms basement.
I somehow thought it was evil and told my friends not to step on it.we're not friends anymore
when I was a kid I would prefer hanging with animals over people any time.
I literally cannot fall asleep if I haven't been awake for 20 hours +, often wake up after 1.5-3 hours, then repeat.
this is fucking ruining my life and I've started to develop mild auditory and visual hallucinations, and sleep paralyzis over the last year.
I'm convinced I'm going to die relatively early.
sleep meds ain't working anymore, doctors have basically given me up. I'm so tired just kill me.
jerk it to rose twice a day
>>29895857
I can only sleep with an oscillating fan on because I can't handle complete silence
i do everything in this thread
I'm 21 and I suck my thumb when I go to sleep
>>29895857
I eat my toenails
>>29895857
I can only cum when I picture myself as the girl getting fucked.
I listen to music in my bedroom while walking in circles and throwing tantrums
I have to sleep in complete silence because thats how it was at the psycheward
playing csgo with friends is my only source of fun
>>29895996
i wrote a story about this in the 3rd grade and my teacher got super grossed out
I cut the skin off the side of my toenails until they are too drowned in blood to see anything. Then after a few days the cavity where I removed the skin will fill with puss and I pop it and eat the remnence
I wish I was lying.
>>29896031
Right there with you. I haven't been out of the house since 2007 and it was for hospitalization. Before that I hadn't been out of the house since 2001.
>>29895857
i listen to japanese music while lying awake in bed crying until the early morning hours. a lot of that crying mixes between happy and sad while i imagine myself in romantic anime situations only to have the high ruined by either reality or a fantasy getting in the way and crushing my dreams.
it doesn't happen as much these days though. i'm mostly too brain dead to imagine up these fantasies anymore.
plus being 25 probably doesn't help.
