>it appears that you have an extensive gap in your employment history. Care to explain?
Yes, I was unemployed. Anything else? Why do you think I'm here?
I was in prison for mailing my feces to my high school bullies.
>not being NEET while talking to your psychologist and getting around this shit by saying you have depression
wew lads keep slaving lmao
Well sir, that gap harbored a bullshit job I got fired from and a few one-shots that I ended up quitting like the autistic loser I am. I'm a bumbling nervous wreck whose only special talent is fucking up even the simplest tasks and being an overall burden everywhere I go. Nobody in their right mind will want to hire me, and I'm surprised I even made it as far as this gay interview.
yeah, its called unemployment. Worse is the fact that that gap only gets bigger as time goes on so the minute someone else walks in that door and has a smaller gap you immediately forget about me.
I have never been to an interview were this wasn't asked in a condescending matter.
wow those interviewers are completely soulless.
>>29882832
are those real people? guy on the right especially looks creepy af
I was in a cult
>>29882832
Two diversity hires and one old white guy, cleverly cut off from the group by placing the other guy's head between him and the woman
Also the gap means I didn't work you stock photo fags
You're mistaken. There is no gap in my resume. Hell, i have a good job right now, why am i here?
>>29882832
No, I don't.
Blam. Mind blown.
I would totally sperg out at an interview but since I am to retarded to get even invited i dont have to explain why I have a gap in my fucking CV
I took some time off to travel and really get to find myself. I came back with some amazing experiences that really helped to develop my communication skills and gave me a better understanding of working with people of different and unique backgrounds.
t. an employed person
>>29883027
this
oreganolli
>"I bet you're a bunch of normies aren't you! RRRREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
>Burst blood vessel in face
>Tell people they attacked you
>Get sympathy employment
I went to 10 interviews in a row where I tried to give 'clever' answers to this question and none of them were met with laughs.
I don't remember all of them. I remember one or two
>Can you explain the gap in your employment history?
This was at Wal Mart. I laughed and said 'Yes, but I can't explain the nap in your toilet facilities!' then pretended to snore
>You haven't had a job in 2 years. Is there a reason for that?
This was at a clothing store. I pointed at a pair of womens jeans and said 'Yeah, I was trying to squeeze into a pair of those'. Again they didn't laugh
>Do you think you have learnt anything useful during your time off?
This was at fucking McDonalds. I smiled and cheekily suggested 'not useful for a place with hygiene rules' and winked.
Just fuck it. It is a trap. I won't get a job with this question existing.
>>29884139
are you originally autistic?
>>29884139
You're the biggest dumbass I ever saw on this site in 3 years...
All of these can be lies, and are hard to verify and probably won't be verified by the interviewer:
>I used that time to volunteer for a local non-profit.
>I used that time to care for a sick family member.
>I used that time to travel the world.
>I used that time to work on a freelance basis doing contract work, and due to non-disclosure agreements I can't say who I was employed by.
>I used that time to recover from a personal illness.
I'm a NEET that has lived a mildly interesting life, they wouldn't focus on the NEET time, they would ask about past jobs.
Either way I'm not getting the job though.
>>29884139
well those were all for like the shittest of shit tier jobs so I think you are good anon. you probably are an aspie though.
tell them you worked as freelancer programmer,artist etc
>>29884344
Digging option 4.
>>29882832
W-what's wrong with their faces?
>>29884139
>This was at Wal Mart. I laughed and said 'Yes, but I can't explain the nap in your toilet facilities!' then pretended to snore
Fucking kek what the fuck
>>29884536
I was makign a joke.
>>29884604
Never joke in a serious setting. Makes you look retarded. I'm sure you know this by now.
>>29882832
>Yes, I spent several years posting to an anime message board
>>29884432
Option 4 is by far the least believable. You should nearly always go with 2 or 5, because they're the only topics you can guarantee people won't ask more about.
If you say you volunteered or did contract work, people will ask about what sort of stuff you did, and obviously you'll look dumb when you don't understand it that well. Same with travelling the world, they'll ask where you went, and it'll be weird if it never comes up again.
It's not socially appropriate to go "What did you have?" to someone you barely know, so you don't have to worry about it. 2 in particular makes you look really good.
>>29884604
are you trully autismo my friendo?
>>29884627
makes him look a creep
>>29882832
I lost some years to depression but I'm fine now.
>6 fucking year gap
graduated high school and ive been neet ever since
there is no reasonable explanation
>employment history
top kak
>>29884900
I've never had a job and I'm 30.
"Major depression. Required 10 years of psychiatric treatment."
And with that, you don't get the job, and you can keep collecting neetbux.
Keep slaving, wagies!
>>29885059
You're a professional NEET.
LIVING THE DREAM.
>>29885059
you're a god
i went through 4 capchas and a 2 second mute to tell you this
>>29884724
well at least you were honest
>>29885226
I don't feel like a god, or like anything at all.
>>29885297
That's because you've transcended feeling. You're a true robot.
Guys.
Fucking. LIE!
Make up some job on your resume and get a friend/maternal uncle/maternal grandpa/maternal cousin stand in as a reference.
Goddammit, this is EASY shit.
>>29885059
Tell us your story, grand master
>>29885529
I once said I was recovering from cancer and it worked. Probably because I genuinely look I'm dying though.
>>29885553
There's not a lot to tell.
>graduated college
>never tried to get a job
>live at home with mom
Kill me tBh
>>29882832
no normie reeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>29
>NEET
>only had 1 job stacking shelves in 2007
>9 year employment gap on my CV
>suffered from anxiety, depression & avoidance issues over half my life
>only job I could get is in the service industry
>would have to compete with 1000 other people for the most menial burger flipping job
>noone would ever want to hire a nearly 30 year old loser for these positions
What the fuck do I even say to a question like that?
>got laid off in January
>got a call about a job today
>"You've been unemployed since January? Have you been looking for work in that time?"
No shit bitch you act like it's easy to find a good job with no college education.
>>29886508
Why do parents allow this? I thought you had some cool NEET scheme
>>29884139
well if it makes you feel better, I laughed
>>29882832
as soon as I heard that question I started crying and had to leave
>>29886644
Single mom.
It is a cool NEET scheme though, what more could you want as a neet.
>>29886630
>good job
When you are unemployed your job is to find a job, no matter how menialespecially if you're uneducated
Yeah, I don't actually want a job because I hate them. That's why the whole thing is one big gap. I'm only here so the government doesn't cut my NEETbux and my parents think I'm taking steps to fix my life :^)
*teleports behind the woman*
*draws my knife and slits her throat*
Any more questions, gents?
>>29884139
Sometimes I think I might be slightly autistic. Then I realize there's people like this.
>>29882832
I just said I couldn't find a job I wanted to do until now and got hired. The HR people here are dumb as dirt mind you.
>>29882832
>been unemployed for 3 years
>only job I'll be able to get now will involve customers yelling at me for shit I didn't do everyday
>>29887600
It's harsh, it's cold, but it's the truth. A life built upon deception of those that love you.
I'm not berating or disagreeing with you, my life is kind of similar at the moment.
>be me
>constantly tired
>sleep for 12-16 hours a day
>even when I wake up I feel tired
>only for about 4 hours of the day do I actually feel awake
>fallen asleep while driving several times. Always manage to wake up when I feel the road start to get bumpy
>go to a doctor about this
>"eat a balanced diet" he says
>tell him I eat nothing but whole unprocessed foods. Ask him to do blood tests
>blood comes back clear
>keep pushing him that something is fucking seriously wrong with me
>every doctor I go to tells me that there is no physical reason why I am unable to work, and thus I can't get any welfare
>now I work one day a week, earning just barely enough money to pay my parents rent
>have to go to sleep at JUST the right time. If an alarm clock wakes me up, I am unable to function for hours. Half of the time I go to work completely fucking exhausted and yawning constantly
>if I do get woken up by my alarm clock, most of the time I literally consider suicide as an alternative to going to work all day feeling like this. I call in sick when this happens
It's fucking bullshit. People with aspergers or schizophrenia can get on welfare, and they will get about 3x the amount of money that I do. These people buy video games, alcohol, and normally have girlfriends.
Meanwhile, half of my time is spent sleeping. I'm a KHV. I think about suicide daily. Yet apparently being constantly tired and feeling depressed at how shit my life is just doesn't cut it as a "disability".
>>29884900
i was in a coma for like six years
i bet no one will believe me
>>29887946
that's what i had anon, ergo the six years semi coma. got even worse than you stopped eating and shit.
it's called "chronic fatigue syndrome" and despite what the haters think it's awful and real.
I was running a private studio doing some ghost production for a few electronic music acts.
>>29886809
Haha, are you that anon a few days ago that cried in his interviw?
>>29882832
>no
Can you do that? Can you actually just say "No, I don't care to explain"?
>>29889420
>Can you do that? Can you actually just say "No, I don't care to explain"?
You can, but you won't get the job.
>>29882832
I was caring for my grandfather who was disabled by late stage Parkinsons
This thread is making me feel less ashamed that I got a job at my neighbor's company. Nepotism isn't something to brag about but I definitely dodged a bullet.
>>29884732
If you go with the illness, it might be a good idea to briefly mention that the illness is taken care of / the relative died. If they think you'll continue to need time off for health reasons they might go with a healthier candidate.
>>29887946
>These people buy video games.
If they live with their parents they surely can afford this but it is not everyone. I barely manage to get by since I don't live with them anymore. And I cannot afford going back to school and getting a diploma and every time I tried to apply to some job I wasn't qualified enough or was considered not good for them cause of this.
>Alcohol
Most aspie are intolerant to alcohol.
>normally have girlfriends.
>Aspie
Nah, Don't get your hopes up. The Chad get the one beside their quirk. Usually some fat tumblrina that is equally crazy or even more than them, The rest get nothing most of time because of their failure to recognize social situation and struggle just to get through the day.
