Why is it that from the moment we're born, people treat us as less than garbage, and are disgusted, confused, and angered when we suggest the we be treated like we're just as much human beings as the other people in the world? Everyone from my family, to kids I knew when I was younger, and teachers, and now peers and other people who have gone on to live successful lives. When you ask them why, they tell you that you should be able to put up with them, yet when you show anger or sadness at their actions, they get mad and start telling you that you're selfish.
The last thing my parents told me was that if I ever killed myself I'd be acting like a selfish piece of shit. I can't be insane, right? There's something about the way people see us that's different from others. I don't even see what they see in us either. I'm not fat, I'm not very ugly, and I used to try to live up to their expectations. But I realized that the only thing they really wanted from me was to crawl back to some hole in the ground and die.
Maybe I read and watched too many fairy tales as a kid, but all I wanted in life was to love and be loved. But no one in my entire life has seen me as worth being treated like a human being. There has to be some reason, right?
That sounds as people have some genetic vision and see something undesirable in you.
Details of your looks, behavior, anything.
I guess after long time of trying to get people love you, you give up on that.
Why even bother, anon? Why do you seek out other people? People suck.
>>29877192
>all I wanted in life was to love and be loved. But no one in my entire life has seen me as worth being treated like a human being. There has to be some reason, right?
You're entirely right in your understanding, more than you can even possibly imagine. I have written fucking pages of information on this stuff that goes really deep. Email me and all will be explained later today, including why this is happening to you.
>>29877360
Well, I probably have some kind of isolation induced communication disorder/autism. I'm 5'11, very skinny, a hunchback though I didn't used to be, I have longish blonde hair that I can never make look decent, girl eyes and eyelashes, I have shaky hands, and I don't talk very much.
I can't remember how much of that has always been there and what came about because of stress. I do remember being pushed around all the time for being short and having a high pitched voice in my younger years. But, I see people who are obviously different or less capable, and I just try to help them or be nice to them. I don't understand this hatred of different people others have.
>>29877480
Paste bin, nigga, pastebin.
>>29877480
Hang on, I have to retrieve my password. I haven't received an email from anyone besides spam in years.
>>29877524
This is for OP specifically, because he made it clear he seeks big answers. I can't be dealing with ignorant shitheads of this board derailing my efforts to help. If you're serious enough, email me also and I'll drop you both in a group reply.
>>29877480
Here it is.
[email protected]
>>29877192
Something is very wrong with you. It could be the random chance of genetics, or something in your upbringing; but you seem unable to figure out how to live as a regular human in the modern world.
I'm in the same boat, and I've already figured out the answer, albeit recently. Out. Gather all your belongings, sell all you won't need; and have a blast.
When the resources run over, die. My deadline? Somewhere between mid to late August. Sure, all the people around me would immediately say how selfish I'm being.
Why the fuck do I have to live for them, though? I didn't ask to be born in the first place, I was born because two horny idiots willed it. They invested a lot of money in me without even asking and now they expect me to be some big shot and do well in life.
How about no? How about I just do what I want and stop considering what they want? I am going to enjoy myself and then going to die.
I'm not going to be here to see what happens afterwards, anyway. It's going to be lights out, no more bullshit; just quiet and peace literally forever.
>>29877634
Emailed you, family
>>29877723
I've considered doing that many times myself, but somehow, some stupid part of my brain is holding me back. It's silly because I have no reason to stay here and no wish to live, really. I'm probably going to just snap and go soon.
>>29877800
It wasn't easy to figure it out, to be honest. Took me 10 whole years of pretending that I was okay, that what people wanted of me was what I also wanted. Get a job, work half the day, socialize half the day and then get married and dedicate your life to your children.
I bet that sounds amazing for most people. Now I realize that I have a huge problem with every single part of that. I am almost giddy all the time, enjoying everything I do almost all the day. I don't question what has to be done, but what do I want to do. I don't have a sleep schedule, I sleep when I am tired and wake up whenever. It doesn't matter if it's night or not, who cares?
In order to keep this going, a minimum of physical exercise is required, though. When all's said and done the damn thing helps being happy. I try to do 10 squats, 10 crunches and 10 pushups every hour so so. It's not to stay in shape, but exercise fights depression and gives me drive. I could die at any moment, all I need is a reason. If it is that money runs out then so be it, if it's sooner then so much the better.
>>29877970
>I bet that sounds amazing for most people
Yeah, I don't get it either. Maybe the drive to be part of my race isn't there.
