Anyone else have traumatic experiences from parents divorcing and having an ongoing fight between each others?
When I was like 7 my parents decided to divorce. My mom took my little sister and I stayed with my dad. Few times per year I would visit my mother and she would exchange "hatemail" with my dad through me, like "tell your dad that he's an x". I never learned to trust my parents and would rarely call them mom or dad. When I lived with my dad, he used to move around a lot, so I never really got to make friends whom I would know longer than half a year. He would never set limits and I could be outside anytime I pleased. Sometimes I cried because I hadn't seen him or heard anything from him for days. His parents bought me almost anything I wanted and I was turning really introverted. But I was also afraid of him, because of his tendency to drink and his short fuse. I didn't get beat up often, except a few times, the most memorable is the one when I was fighting with my sister when she was visiting and dad lifted me up against the wall and I lost a tooth.
Eventually I moved to mother's place and felt like the problem kid of the house and school. Made a decent amount of friends and I would mostly just spend my days playing vidya with them. I hated my stepdad and visiting my dad felt awkward everytime, it still is. Last time was in 2013 and I felt like it was only small talk and nothing about the things I've been burdened with for so long. Talking about dad to my mom and vice versa is still a taboo.
I feel like it has affected me a lot through the years. As a teen I was fat and only interested in vidya, then I got depressed and skinny. After that I got into bad company, did drugs daily and I'm still on parole. Now I just want to finish studying and forget about everything. /rant
>>29873564
Its not your fault, you were a product of the modern family. We all are (at least, the robots on this board.)
have a (you)
>>29873564
Lucky you. My parents are dead. Father left behind a huge company that I have no idea what to do with, but am told it doesn't really matter anyway. I live in a mansion with roughly 200 empty rooms, all unoccupied except for myself and an old butler. Grieve for my parents every day while thinking about doing something more with my life. I haven't achieved anything at all. Maybe money can change that. Maybe I can change myself, who knows.
>>29874124
Wew, thanks. Though I feel sorry for my dad and think me and him both might've turned out better if I had stayed with him. Before the last time I saw him, he looked young, now he looks like an old sorrowful alcoholic. Well, at least my mom is doing fine.
My parents got divorced when I was 13. My entire childhood was spent as the object of a tug of war between my parents. My mother was cold and angry towards me. Violent and a control freak. No love. Only knew how to punish. My father was pathological liar and PTSD/alcoholic. Extremely paranoid/bipolar and with a HUGE temper. ALWAYS ANGRY. ALWAYS 100%. You CANNOT talk to him. Couldn't develop a relationship with either of my parents. No matter what I did it got turned into an argument. I'd be forced to choose a side every single day. Turned to the internet instead to escape. Got extremely depressed and stopped leaving the house and dropped out of middle school because I was getting bullied 24/7 and the fighting at home just got worse and worse. Felt like I was the family dog. Never ever asked me how I felt, never treated me like a human being. My parents think nothing in life has any value except for their religion. They believed the world was going to end so they never taught me any life skills. When they found out I was atheist they started refusing to speak to me anymore. If I needed their help I got shot down. I started experiencing psychosis and talking to myself all the time instead. I remember zoning out on the couch on the verge of tears and my father coming inside after having an argument with my mother. He asked me to go to bed and I was too depressed to move. My mother joined in as well. After my dad asked 3 more times my mother went to get her belt. My dad then started whispering to me like usual that it's better to take his side and his punishment because mother is a lot worse. I started laughing out of sadness and he got angry and picked me up by my hair, slammed me on the ground then started dragging me across the floor to my room. I finally broke and charged him through a door breaking it in half and he started crying on the floor.
I live with my dad now and he went insane. Believes everything is demonic/conspiracy. No contact with mother.
My parents weren't married, its felt like procrastinated divorce for 20 years.
After my brother was born his dad abandoned my mom, died 6 years later. 13 years later she met my dad, fugged and had me.
Dad went to prison for 4 years, she dated this guy we'll call Kris until dad got out. Mum and Kris seperated when Dad came home so we lived at my grandmothers house for 2 years. Grandma would beat me for no reason, one night she started whipping books so my mother threw me in the car and went somewhere, can't remember ( 5yo att )
Speed up to age 8, we're living in a nice big house in the woods, adopted a dog life felt normal. Parents start fighting, father gets kicked out, cops are inside I'm crying nothing makes sense. Soon my brother moves in downstairs, brings his drugs, whores and steals money from mum. As usual I'm the whipping post for her anger, screams and hits me. Visited dad and grandpa a few times, was boring.
Age 10 dad comes back home, things were "normal" between them but again my brother stirred up shit, cops dragged him out. He returns, I was downstairs when he knocked up his girl and months later the junkie popped out the baby, this began the end. Brother goes to rehab, fails, comes back steals stuff rinse repeat. Father gets booted out while my only friend was with me, mom beats me down more that night. I also broke my hand punching him in rage.
Age 13
February 2009 mum has her first schziophenc/psychotic episode in the hospital, screaming at doctors, dad and myself. Claiming we poisoned her all that nonsense, later diagnosed with MG and some lung disease by smoking 2 packs a day. She actually went to the ER 4 times in 2 weeks because she refused to quit.
Anyways my dad and I clean the house spotless, shes breathing on an oxygen tank for awhile. She comes home in her demented state of mind, doesn't thank us for hand cleaning her giant house and 20 foot ceiling then throws my dad out a week later.
To be continued
>>29874233
Bruce?original comment
>>29874309
cont.
My parents were just seriously fucking bizarre. They thought the internet was satanic. They thought sadness was satanic. They thought anything bad was the product of demons. They both claimed to see demons all the time. When I was experiencing existential dread on the verge of killing myself and told them everything. They said I was possessed by a demon and invited a bunch of strangers from church over and told them everything I said and they all threw holy water on me and started speaking in tongues, I realized I could never ever fucking count on these people in that moment. I started wondering if I was adopted or some shit. I remember sitting on my bed one night when I was 11 and the realization hitting me that my dream of having a happy family was dead, that this was the one and only life I'd get. That was the last time I cried. I'm 20 now.
After becoming a shut-in at 11 my mother who never ever once acted like a friend or a mother and only punished me and hit me every single day all day started stripping me of every thing I had as an ultimatum for being depressed. She forced me to pretend to be happy or I'd get all of my stuff taken away. She would refuse to feed me every single fucking day and if my dad tried sneaking me leftovers she would beat the shit out of me in front of him. If I tried talking back and using logic to debunk her grounds for her constant punishment she would claim satan was brainwashing me with the internet and go in my room with a bat and destroy my fucking computer. Or just blame it on my dad for 'putting ideas in my head.' My dad was the same way, both of them thought I was not capable of independent thought or feeling, I may as well have not existed. After I finally went through with trying to kill myself when I got out of the psych ward they pretended it never happened and got divorced shortly after. Been living as a shut in with my insane dad ever since. JUST.
>>29874233
Gib money pls
I'll be your friend and Robin
>>29874309
Luckily forcefed religion never played any role in my life. Do you have any real conversations with your dad?
>>29874355
I dunno which is worse, procrastinated divorce for a long duration or an instant divorce. On my case, my mom just suddenly left one night with my sister and I cried days. I only vaguely remember their fights, like dad driving the car violently and the parents shouting while having arguments. Though my mom claims dad threatened to kill her while she was pregnant again. I might've dodged a bullet for having them divorce so quick.
>>29874355
Age 14-15: I miss 70 days of school ( too sick to attend ). School VP files a hearing at juvenile court. Mom has her 2nd schzio/psychotic fall through hell, shes leveled up in her insanity to the point public scenery has no consequence. Beats me in the car ride to court, screams in the courthouse. Another woman with her delinquent threatened to call the police if she didn't sit down. After sentencing me to attend school despite being physically ill she beat me home, broke half the windows in the house, kicked holes in the wall etc. The reclusive personally began molding into my autistic dysfunction. No word from dad for 2 years, my mother and brother thought it would be funny to lock me in s hospital ward for 3 weeks before school ended ( I drop out ), rearrange my room, steal my valubles and rip my art up.
My brother used his daughter as a means to manipulate my mother, forged 80k in checks and got off without punishment. When I heard of this the inner school shooter possessed my mind, I went bonkers. From downstairs watching anime I heard her psycho episode throwing pans, talking to voices and being crazy. I crept upstairs, she jabbed my arm and thats when i lost it, I literally REEEEE'd and charged at her, chased her down the hallway and threw a vacuum at her head.
Police came, she put on her victim act and they dragged me out. Telling me I was an entilted asshole for refusing to give up my laptop, my only means to sanity ( thats apparently what BS she fed them ) and that I'm lucky not to be arrested for assault, showed him the bleeding gouge in my forearm and said he didn't care. "If my kid didn't give me the computer I'd snap it in half".
Eventually it cooled down and I ran back downstairs.
To be continued.
>>29874492
>Do you have any real conversations with your dad?
No. I learned that he's not capable of it a long time ago. It's pointless to talk to him about anything.
Here's a conversation with him:
>hey dad have you ever tried meditating?
have you done that shit in the house?
>why?
that opens up a pathway for demons to enter the house and possess us
>...
never do that shit in the house, not under my roof, it's satanic, it's evil, did you already do it? tell me the truth (continues asking me this while i stay silent)
>(i realize yet again that it was pointless to try talking and start walking away)
(dad follows me into my room)
>i was just trying to make small talk alright? just leave me alone
did you do it? did you fucking do it? tell me the truth right now, i'm not fucking around
>yes... but you're overreacting... and it helps me sleep so i should have the right to do it
if you do that shit again i swear i'll throw you out on the street, PROMISE ME you'll never do it, promise me right now (corners me against the wall)
>i can't, i'm sorry
(dad leaves room, comes back with holy water)
>seriously dad... don't touch me with that, it's disrespectful when i don't share your beliefs
(starts holding me down and throwing it on me and scream-praying)
>(push him off me and retreat to the bathroom)
(follows me inside before i can close the door)
>LEAVE ME ALONE, STOP FOLLOWING ME
(pushes me on the floor and holds me down with his knee)
(condescendingly praying while insulting me)
>(get back on my feet and try pushing him out of the way, SCREAMING his prayers over me no matter what i say)
>(feel like i'm suffocating, let out a guttural war cry and grab him by his throat and hold him against the wall)
>FUCK OFF
(follows me into my room again)
i fucking dare you boy, i dare you to hit me, think i won't knock my son out? you fat bitch
>(punch him in the face, he starts hysterically crying)
>(cops get called, get put on suicide watch after having a mental breakdown)
wew lad
>>29874309
>My entire childhood was spent as the object of a tug of war between my parents.
pretty much this, its devolved to a guilt ridden anchor at this point.
>>29874756
I meant to say I hadn't heard from my dad since I was 13, we met up again around the stanley cup finals in 2011, then didn't communicate for another year.
My mother kicked me out for the week and dropped me off at his apartment. The next day she randomly showed up screaming for child support, blasting her horn making a scene. I felt less anxious because my dad was there of course.
The week we spent together was pretty good until she came back, I almost didn't want to go with her but I had to protect my belongings from the thief and manic.
Part 3 coming up still.
>>29874924
Hopefully you've managed to get away from her by now.
>>29874924
>>29874756
Age 16
I'm officially a NEET legally out of school, mother still hits me and screams delusions about people doing things to her or stealing irrelevant shit. I meet my longlost other family ( 2 brothers ). R was a nice guy, B got drunk and fought with dad. My mother being the spiteful cunt she is flipped out because I met my other family.
Age 17 dad is back, same shit as before. In out hello goodbye.
Age 18 to now, the mindgames truly begin. After years of hoarding, blowing money and letting angels steal it shes gone broke. Blaming me for ruining her life etc. One day last year something happened in her mind, her on and off bipolar antics become hourly thrashings. She has no logical thought in her rage at anymore, she'll scream at automated recordings on the phone and smash it into bits on the floor. She accuses everyone of stealing her junk but has never locked her door, its real insanity. I'm leaving out a lot of bad events because I need to sleep, anyways in late may I wake mother up to pick up dad from work. All was going well until she started her henning for cash, she refused to let him in the car till he gave her money so he walked off. She drove on the wrong side of the road, screaming in schzio rage at 60mph on a pedestrian street. She almost hit 5 people, attempted to runover my father and called the cops on HIM. LOL.
So here comes 5 flashing vehicle, cop drags me out questions and pesters for the incriminating details. Me being as >>29874309 described a fucking rope to tug I chose her side, they understood what happens and let us all go. Mum floored it home in tears, beating me for NOT getting her arrested and "sticking up for my deadbeat" father. I told her to shut the fuck up or I'd call that towns police station and change my story, she shut up then.
cont
>>29875254
almost man, almost.
>>29875438
last bit
In the past when my parents would fight I'd pick my mothers side because I couldn't live on the fucking street, its only now that I'm so close to being homeless with nothing to show for it what a stupid fucking mistske I made of sacrificing my young years to this witch. What have I accomplished? what in the ever fucking fuck did I stay for? my life is fucking over.
>>29874890
Wow your dad's fucking insane dude.
>both parents alcoholics
>mother is a violent, abusive drunk
>father tries to shield me and my little brother from mother whenever possible
>endured sexual molestation from my father for two years because he was our protector
How did you guys not runaway? jesus.
>>29874233
You're rich right? So you could do anything, you could dress up as a giant bat and go around town scaring criminals, that would be funny
>>29874233
you should take in some robots
yeah man, I totally get you. feels bad man
>Tfw you're the only genuinely sane person in a family of absolute nutcases
>Only person that doesn't have the protection being mad brings towards coping with mad people
>That stress burden inc abuse
>traumatic experiences from parents divorcing
That shit sounds whitey as fuck, i hated my father my whole life for being an alcoholic, my mother left him and 2 years later, she turned the same, but eventually she got over it, unlike him who had that problem his whole life but i don't think that is "traumatic", just a bad memory.
>>29877240
then you had a normal divorce, jamal.
>>29877751
they never divorced, he eventually died but they were together till i was 12, and an alcoholic father means fights every single day, and i aint black, its just that you guys sound like weak bitches "traumatic experiences" over something so simple like a divorce
