Pissing?
Coffee?
Bleach?
Laxatives?
Cereal (milk)?
Chocolate?

Eat a shit ton to absorb some of it.

drink lots of water
how the fuck this not original

It's not pretty, but carbohydrates and electrolytes. You will puke it all up, rinse and repeat until the shit's gone.

>>29872524
Eat magnets.

>>29872524
Cut your jugular, quick and easy.

>>29872542
i also would have accepted bread for 23 points

OP must be 12 years old

>>29872622
im actually 8 and i fucked ye mum

>>29872524
Activated Charcoal

>>29873585
What about activated almonds?

Oreganocommentaro

>>29872524
drink new alcohol to make your body expel the old alcohol

>>29874067
Play half life one single player mods that are based in the black mesa (not weird other ones that are not based in the black mesa research facility)

They are super comfy. Not sure if it will help with the detox, but worth a try

Bumping OP's thread with a related question:

I am trying to detox from alcohol. I have this ReadyClean drink that's intended for drug users to pass drug tests. Would it help me speed things up in anyway, or would it just temporarily flush my system with no detoxification value?

It's expired, so I can't use it for a job interview down the road anyway.