30 years now, not khv but forfeit my ability do become a wizard for a 4-week "relationship" 10 years ago and no girl contact since then (even speaking to them has become increasingly harder).
Any old people here who may tell me if it becomes better? Feel like killing myself almost every day, find joy in nothing but too cowardly to actually pull it off, so I have to endure this shit another 40 years (or maybe more).
You haven't told us anything about your life except for your failure with women. What about skills, job, health, etc. ?
>>29855262
Have a mediocre job, not wagecuck but not rich either. Health wise fat-fat (maybe I will make it, maybe not) and increasingly bad teeth, but terrified to go to the dentist (maybe I will make it, maybe not). Apart from that okish.
>>29855380
Sounds like you're heading down a bad path healthwise. Being fat and having rotten teeth is a pretty certain sign of shitty health.
>>29855225
>High school 14 years old.
>Autistic no balls.
>Be not Chad licks my crush in the face thundercock I fucking HATE HIM STILL.
>So most of my time I spend alone actually doing math like a shmug in the study.
>Really all I did was look down when doing my additional homework and even others homework because I liked it like a cuck.
>This was all very very odd back in the days people like me were almost unheard.
>Doing my homework as a good boy a usual teacher actually looking down with such dissapointment and pitty. She was almost a worried mother even though she treated everyone like shit she was really nice to me even bringing me lunch sometimes to eat cause I often had nothing or bringing me drinks from the vending machine like a pathetic child I guess..
>Hear my crush yelling some shit to Chad
>Chad walks in the study pissed as fuck yelling at me WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ARE YOU SOME SORT OF ALIEN
>Stand up look him right in the eyes.
>Finally time to prove myself adrenaline rushing through my veins I wanted it to chance I WANTED IT.
>I yell "I'm gonna PLOW YOUR HEAD IN"
>Chad storms over at me as I fool myself and robotally run to him scared but enticed.
>Wake up in confusion and blood in my mouth
>Feel extremely immasculated teacher by my side she seem numb yet sad you probably know what I mean
>Walk home beaten
>Father watching tv like a robot ofcourse because why not never even mentions anything about me bleeding
>Never had the balls to develop in a beautiful butterfly like I had hoped HURRR
>She doesn't talk to me ever again for some reason not even out of empathy
>All I ever had was some fake friends patting me on the back sometimes telling me it was gonna be ok but it wasn't.
>Graduate vow to download addblock and block shill posters on 4chan by blocking just one image
>Father not at graduation
>Work in candy factory
>Never kissed never nothing I always tasted Chads sweat in my mouth for some reason disgusting
>50years old now
>dead inside
>>29855835
That's some wild ride if true.
>Any old people here who may tell me if it becomes better?
No, it doesn't. Or, well, at least it hasn't for me. I've read some of my fellow wizards on here describe how they've become numb, having attained that horrible kind of nirvana that accompanies despair. I can't speak to how authentic their claims are, I can only speak for myself. And if the sort of "enlightenment" they describe is actually possible, I've yet to achieve it.
You posted an image of a wizard, so I take it you consider your situation to be similar. And in some respects, it is. You feel undesirable, unwanted. You had a brief relationship a long time ago, so long ago that it probably seems like nothing but a dream now.
I would never think to denigrate your pain. However, you you can find solace in one thing that no wizard can, and that's authentic hope. Someone once desired you, which means there is a possibility someone will desire you again. Of course, there's no guarantee that you will be desired again, and that memory of being wanted may remain nothing more than a dream.
That dream may not seem like much, and I suppose it isn't, but it's far more than a wizard could ever lay claim to. Which isn't to say wizards don't dream; it's merely that all their dreams are nightmares.
No matter how bad thigs get, you can always go Eric
>>29855835
My face in the progress of reading this
No, i tjust gets worse. Right around this time your body stops being able to function as it did when you were younger. When you were twelve? A cold lasted a day or two tops. Now? A fucking week. Same with the flu. Same with broken bones.
You're aging and dying very slowly, and sometimes you can literally feel your body rotting.
Welcome to Lichdom.
