Can we talk about this taboo and why we should or should not do it?
I recently lost my best friend. He jumped from his window.
He wasn't depressed or mentally ill. He was suffering because of the world, mostly, and because of himself. But he was't depressed.
He didn't know how much people would miss him.
He didn't know how the life of those around him was impacted.
Most people loved him, ya, but he didn't know how much.
Everyone misses him, and he has changed points of view and openned the eyes of many people, even after death. He was important.
Why did he do that? He wanted to vanish, because he couldn't withstand the very existence of this world. This world lacks good sense and respect. This world lacks opinion and freedom. This world lacks humanity.
But he didn't know that the world was good to live on because it is shit.
We live in a cage, in a hell, and that's why we want to survive in it. It makes us feel important, it makes us feel meaningful, it makes us change, and wanting to change.
It gives us purpouses.
He lacked purpouse, but he was happy. He enjoyed his life until the very last minute. He was intense in life, and so he was in life.
Many people doesn't understand why he jumped.
I, as the person who knew him best, think that he jumped because he loved himself, and for that, he couldn't let him suffer anymore, and so he freed himself from this non-sense world.
So, /r9k/
Why do you want to jump out of a window?
Why should you do, why dhouldn't you do?
Why shouldn't I do?
bumping. High potential thread.
>>29844740
life sucks
nothing good going for me, but I think this world is beautiful
I can't answer for you
What's the point in living if you're just waiting to die?
>>29845131
but what is the point of dying? I mean, feeling bad should be better than not feeling. That's why people get depressed from boredom
>>29845192
Dying serves a purpose by ending the pointless tasks that make up the day. I don't see a problem with suicide unless you have children or some other sort of dependent.
>>29845129
Why is it beautiful? Care to explain?
With all the hate going on, I can't see the beauty in human kind. Racism, transphobia, homphobia, etc.
The system are pretty bad too, all of them.
And the human's world is human kind.
So, where is the beauty on being human?
>>29844740
>Suicide
>Something goes wrong
>Too many unfinished business
>Become a ghost
>Depression lingers after death, the pain is maddening and you get no release, no stop
>Slowly see your parents move on
>They age
>They pass
>You remain completely alone in the house with nothing to do but walk around and remember for the longest time
>Eventually become insane
>>29844740
Life sucks, but it beats the alternative.
Don't worry about things too much.
>>29844740
Just do it,not even trying to be edgy,but i know what it feels like,being alone,crying yourself to sleep,wondering what is wrong with you,waking up already wanting the day to end,there is no reason to go through "life" living like this,or at least i dont see a reason.Shits sad yo,2pac and nas calm me down tho.
>>29845243
I mean aesthetically pleasing, and also occasionally just emotionally provocative.
>>29845249
I doubt people who commit suicide believe in such nonsense.
>>29845237
I completely agree when you say pointless tasks.
But its kind of subjective. It depends on who you are, what you think, and what you are able to do.
And who am I to say that I am not important to the world, or to other people, even if I am not really needed?
>>29845283
When you have an open mind, it makes you think.
>>29845281
Is this enough?
>>29845262
How can we know, though?
>>29845313
not for me.
I have a goal, and once I've completed/failed it, I can go waste all my money and die.
There's too much bad, the beauty can't make up for it alone; you find something else to make it worth or you don't.
>>29845131
What's the point of dying if youre going to die
>>29845313
>it really makes you think
What did he mean by this?
>>29845296
>who am I to say that I am not important to the world
That's all well and good, but this is subjective too. We're kind of getting into the whole "suicide is selfish" domain, but is it selfish to end your existence or for someone to not want you to end your existence? I'd argue that it's more selfish to value your own interests over another and someone who has plans for the future surely has more interest in self preservation, be it physical or emotional.
>>29845448
I like that. I'd say it's better to get to the finish line as fast as possible if you're not enjoying the ride. Same outcome regardless.
I attempted it twice.
Fucking hate myself immensely for failing.
I find myself regretting pussying out or failing.
I regret being alive.
What an obscure feel to have.
>>29845423
exactly my point. But why shouldn't why make my only goal just to keep iving? What keeps me, or anyone else, from considering it?
>>29845313
>What did he mean by this?
Maybe we won't turn into a ghost. Maybe the things that we kept us from doing are the "ghost" that now haunts people.
The fact that one's death comes early can perpetuate a memory too, as a decored room of a diseased infant, for example. That may pass an idea of craziness, and may hurt our honor or keep one from vanquishing.
Do I now want this from happening? My best friend wanted to vanquish, would perpetuate his memory be disrespectful?
Maybe I am thinking more than I should, but I hope you can understand what I am saying.
>but is it selfish to end your existence or for someone to not want you to end your existence?
Both are selfish for me. This subjective too. The "suicider" should evaluate this.
>>29845539
But the ride exists for a reason. Why can't we just get out of it instead of just finishing it?
I mean, why do we have to follow a road? Why can't we just live as we want? Society? Does society is what makes people want to kill themselves?
Expectations, dreams, goals, everything that society tries to put in your head, etc.
Why can't we live without it?
>>29845581
You said you pussy out when you try it. I imagine it is fear.
But, for me, fear only is not a reason to not do it.
If you have another reason, what would be it?
And more importantly, why do you hate yourself, and why do you regret being alive?
>>29845617
I think you honor your friend by remembering him. Even if he wanted to vanish as you say, it was only from a personal perspective in my opinion. However, you should not feel remorse because it was their decision and they clearly did not want you to feel sad. It was not your fault and you could not do anything to stop them.
>>29845691
Dropping out of society is not for the faint of heart. I think it takes a tremendous amount of self respect to do, and anyone capable of it would probably go innawoods and live out their days in happiness. Maybe I'm wrong about this though. I hope I am and there are truly comfy NEET posters among us.
>>29845839
>However, you should not feel remorse because it was their decision and they clearly did not want you to feel sad. It was not your fault and you could not do anything to stop them.
I can't "unfeel" remorse. I was neglecting our friendship before his death. Thank you for trying to comfort me, though.
>>29845691
Regrets.
I feel as if I have lost everything of value in my life. All the friends and poessions that I have lost (long long story and part of it is my fault)
I feel I do not deserve to live anymore for fucking up the things I have fucked up.
I hate myself because I am not good enough for anything. I hate myself for being so fucking ugly. I hate my face. I hate that regardless of my financial status or strength my face is ugly so everything about me is worthless.
I hate that I keep making the same mistakes.
I hate that I got fired from my last three jobs in a row.
I hate myself because I am half asian,
tl;dr regret and self loathing.
>>29845958
Trust me man, there was nothing you could do. Most people who are suicidal push people away before taking their lives. An answered cry for help would not have changed a thing. Your friend was courageous enough to commit the act, which means he would have done it anyway.
>>29845839
>Even if he wanted to vanish as you say, it was only from a personal perspective in my opinion
my point is, in life, he didn't want to be remembered. He threw his pc out of the window before jumping because he didn't want anyone to read what he used to write.
I have a belief that conciousness is timeless. When we get too worried about the future, the bad thing that we don't to happen eventually comes. And we try our best to avoid it. It happened even at the great wars.
And how did he think it was the best way to be forgotten? He killed himself and destroyed his works. He may be feeling that he is being remembered "now" but in the past.
I know it is crazy, but it does makes sense to me.
And that's why I am worried. What we do now may be the reason of his suicide.
>Why did he do that? He wanted to vanish, because he couldn't withstand the very existence of this world. This world lacks good sense and respect. This world lacks opinion and freedom. This world lacks humanity.
So true, man.
This is a brutal, vicious world.
I am sorry for your loss.
>>29846088
Hey, man. You seem like you could really use someone to talk to.
I can't promise that I will always be there to talk to you but maybe we could be friends. And I could listen at least sometimes.
We have some stuff in common. I struggled with dysmorphophobia for a long time, and I am also depressed and have lost loved ones.
Would you be interested in posting some throwaway contact info?
>>29846088
>>29846193
By the way, I am also mixed race so we have some some common ground there too.
>>29846088
Then why not change that, for yourself, instead of just giving up?
I mean, think about you. You are living. You probably have a fully functional body and a good brain.
Wouldn't you feel guilty if you threw it away without embracing your opportunities in life and using it to be better just for th sake of yourself and to be respectful towards the people that doesn't have what you have.
If bad things are repeatdly happening, so change your way of approaching life itself. Your reason to suicide can driven away with some strength of will, something I lack too, my friend.
I am not half anything, but I am a latin. I kind of know how you feel regarding it, heh.
>Trust me man, there was nothing you could do. Most people who are suicidal push people away before taking their lives
actually, he thought about everything, so no one could stop him. But I am not questioning my capability of preventing it. This, I know I couldn't do. I am questioning why he did it, and if I was one of the reasons.
>>29846225
I don't bother making friends via throwaway e-mails anymore.
You'll just ghost me before 3 messages anyways.
Oddly enough, I've had bad experiences with mixed race people too.
Thanks for trying though.
>>29846129
His hard-drive is probably still salvageable if you wanted to read his work.
>>29844740
I take every waking moment I continue to live as a conscious decision not to commit suicide. My reasoning is essentially that I can't know for certain that the experience of death isn't worse than my life.
>>29846331
I already read it, all of it, when he was alive. I want to forget, actually.
I really want it to be destroyed, though.
>>29846289
I feel like if I died it would end the guilt.
"Nah bro suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"
Yes a permanent solution.
All the other solutions I've made in life were only temporary.
That is my mantra.
fuck you
I'm so fucking tired. life is just endless anxieties with no relief or resolution. people love you? that's horseshit. stop giving people false hope just to let them get crushed over and over again.
>>29846296
Your call.
Hope you feel better. Again, my condolences.
>>29846358
Then destroy it. Do your friend a favor and drill holes through it, take a magnet to it.You'll only feel worse.
>>29846371
>I feel like if I died it would end the guilt.
Ontologically speaking, you could not have of your own accord prevented your friend's suicide.
It's not even your fault you're feeling guilty because you have to feel guilty due to the way your brain is reacting to this traumatic event.
So at least...I advise that at least if you can't help feeling guilty, at least try not to feel guilty about feeling guilty. Or try not to feel guilty about not feeling guilty.
Guilt can be pathological.
>>29846381
Not bullshit, actually. I really loved him, and he knew it.
Still, I regret not showing it more to him. He probably didn't knew how much.
You may have someone that loves you too.
>>29846371
Life is temporary too. Death wouldn't end your problems, actually. It would just put some of your problems onto someone else's shoulders. Those problems that actually fades would leave another new problems, and you would just create caos among your personal world.
>>29846432
That was not me, but it helped. Thanks.
>>29846422
I know it. That's why I didn't do it, actually.
>>29846381
There is temporary relief and a final resolution. I'd suggest being of sound body and mind before making the decision. There's nothing wrong with giving yourself some self respect even if you feel like you deserve none.
>>29844740
I want to jump out of a window because the one I love started to enjoy torturing me and I had to end it
I won't because I made a promise to my one living parent I wouldn't do it
You shouldn't because since I have no choice about staying on this goddamn planet, I'm working on something that will change things for the better for everyone
Anyone ever think about suicide just because of little shit? Not because of depression or loneliness. Just frustrations, annoyances, and being tired of it all. I have a really sore throat tonight. Might be strep throat coming on. It has pissed me off and I want to blow my brains because I'm really fucking mad about it and I hate having a sore throat.
>>29844740
What helped me in the end was finding someone could be anyone that cares about you and needs you and can tell you that they love you.
Anyone will do fat bitch, crazy bitch, r9k trap really anyone will do.
JUST try it
>>29846490
You're welcome bro.
We're all doing the best we can at the time, with what we have. Remember that.
>>29846642
that's just you being a bitch. honestly though, i feel ya. I got called stupid today by my coworker. she didn't mean anything of it, she's German and has these quips...but holy shit I just feel fucking down. I need to stop thinking about it, it's been an hour already, but damn hearing that from someone I respect is just crushing. i can see how something seemingly small can push someone to the edge, and mayber even over it.
as for suicide, I only want to do it because my life is full of fuckups. I'm not a good kid. I made high scores and valedictorian only to land a fucking retailcuck job. I thought I was doing well, and I am fucked. can't into math, can't science, I'm fucking worthless. my parentss think i'm going to be a doctor or some shit. i'm not going to i'll just tell them i'm a fucking failure and end myself. probably suicide by cop or something.
>>29846642
Sure man. I think everyone thinks about suicide (even normies). That seems like a pretty laughable reason to off yourself though.
>>29846642
Small problems like that don't really make me suicidal, but if I had some underlying stuff then small stuff like that could be like extra straws on an overburdened camel's back.
Do you think you might have some subconscious traumas that are making you more susceptible to the pain of the sore throat? It could be the case. I don't know; it's just a thought.
I'm sorry about your throat and wish you a speedy recovery.
By the way, if it is strep throat, I recommend finding a doctor who will give you a penicillin shot (assuming you're not allergic to penicillin).
I struggled with strep throat for years. My (now late) grandfather, who was a doctor himself, suggested to the doctor to give me penicillin. Reluctantly he agreed. It cured the infection incredibly fast (in a matter of mere days). It was shocking how well it worked.
>>29846714
I'm not sad or anything close to it. I'm mad and I just really don't care about anything. If I had infinite money and could anything I wanted with no restrictions I would do nothing. There's nothing I like to do. I hate every sort of work that doesn't immediately benefit me. Life just has nothing to offer me. I'm 28 now just running out the clock waiting for my mom to eventually die so I can kill myself guilt free.
>>29846514Don't worry my man, you'll be alright. You probably stopped someone from offing themselves by making the thread. I haven't changed my opinion about suicide though.
Ignoring that you said ya as a word...
>why do you want to jump out of a window?
Because I feel that I've lost all control of my life and I feel like the human condition is such that humans are built to never be happy as long as they exist
Because all of my sexual fantasies are sick fuck tier and I don't want to hurt anything just to get what I want
Because I have no ability to make myself happy
Because I have no "off switch" for my bitchy, meltdown-prone personality and I'm exhausted just from being me
Because I'm white, male, nerdy, unconfident, and destined to be a robot forever like most of the denizens of this board
Because women are all disloyal bitches in this day and age and no longer depend on men from sanctity like some men did of women
Because no man in my area I'd actually want to pretend to love isn't a substance abuser
Because my memories are plagued with enough trauma of abuse to cause me to repeatedly wake up at night in cold sweats
>Why should you
I'm incapable of reproduction due to my literal lack of desire for sexual contact with women, am counterproductive for said desires towards men.
I'm a massive fucking sperglord whose only purpose of existence seems to be to make everyone else's quality of life worse through impossibly awkward exchanges of words and meltdowns.
I have fantasies of fucking feral animals
I have been miserable for the past eight years I've shitposted here (19)
There's no god in sight
Nobody will take me on and let me serve them as if they are the god I need
Every relationship I've ever had is shit in its own special way
I have no control over my life
>why shouldn't you?
Because there are people in my life whom of which I mean a lot to. Also, I'm the first in my family to go to college as well as graduate from high school. If anyone has a chance at success in my backwoods shithole family, it's me.
>why shouldn't OP?
I don't know your life. I shouldn't pretend to. Just try to find something that makes you feel comfort.
>>29846823
you're alright, man. i'm the same way, any work that doesn't immediately benefit me i say fuck you to. but that's just how we are, man. no enjoyment from anything. hardwired that way. best i can say is keep at it until the day comes.
>>29844740
The only people who pop pills are idiots and attention-seekers. (or both)
Hang yourself. Simple, easy, relatively painless. You could even have your feet on the ground if you're a total pussy.
>>29846823
Sounds like you're suffering from anhedonia.
>tfw you cut your wrists and suddenly dont want to die
typing one handed here. cant call an ambulance, i just can't. i am scared shitless actually. Ha.
>>29846925
Just fuck off and die you attention whore. What's the matter, was the car the wrong color on your super sweet 16 party?
>you pull the trigger and are left to feel "I wish I hadn't"
^ another reason why I haven't killed myself yet, a continuation of >>29846833
>>29846925
Ignore the edgy poster. Just look up basic first aid if you don't want to die. If you have a poor immune system, you'll probably have to go to a medical clinic or something though. Just say it was an accident.
>>29846958
Fuck off, troll.
>>29846925
How badly are you bleeding?
>>29846925
Post a picture of your wrist.
>>29846989
it is shooting i wrapped it up it is still bleeding.
>>29846833
I literally don't care if you want to be Dahmer 2.0. Carpe diem my friend.
>>29847046
You should probably just go to the hospital.
>>29844740
Op I think you and your friend are very insightful people. I'm going to do it because it is a very human thing to do.
It's selfish.
I choose to not attempt to contribute anything else to the world or influence anyone anymore because I'm too self-centered and weak to overcome the cards dealt to me. Although I am thoughtful enough to wait unitl my grandmother and mother pass to do it. Frankly, I feel my very existence would bring a better impact in death. Perhaps people from old memories will hear about it and recollect their behavior towards me. Maybe not. All I know is that the driving force is my own selfishness and despair.
>>29847077
i cant if i go to the hospital my job will find out and i will be screwed anyway. i dont know what to do.
>>29846490
No one has loved me. Even if they did it would not nearly be enough the love I gave to this world and people. No one knows or cares I exist.
>>29846518
>There is temporary relief and a final resolution
why not cut the bullshit and get to the end
>I'd suggest being of sound body and mind before making the decision
that's just the world lulling you to complacency tricking you that it isn't as shitty as it is which it will reveal itself as eventually
>>29847122
Unless you work at the hospital, your employer has no way to find out. It's none of their business. Get a cab if you're worried about the ambulance charge.
>>29847165
I don't use trips, because I try not to be a faggot, but if I did you would see that I posted this same response "skip the bullshit". I'm in the same position and I'm making sure that the decision is made in sound body and mind (eating healthy, sleeping, working out). Just do it to make sure. Not trying to get you to stop yourself from ending it, but you should be in the right mindset to make the decision. That's all I'm saying man.
>>29847180
i work for the military. the clinic sends notices to my workplace. they will find out i will be examined. i wont be able to lie. its bleeding the same amount i am going to die sorry anon really.
>>29847236
What branch you in brother?
>>29847236
leave your id at home, they won't let you die faggot
dress like a hobo
go out in style
>>29847052
I appreciate this sentiment, but I've been hurt too badly by others to allow myself to continue such a cycle. I desperately want to just unchain myself for the sake of allowing my life pleasure, but then I will end up in a situation where it's suicide or life in prison. I know it. I want pleasure and contentfulness from a simple life. I want to be free from being a robot.
>>29847276
>>29847271
Don't bother I feel scared but theres nothing I can do. Don't frustrate yourself. I am going to lie down and be alone. Also, don't do it anons. Dying feels worse.
>>29847360
Post a picture then. If you're going to be a spooky ghost then you might as well let that autistic robot add you to his list of dead robots.
I am an 18 year old with an increasing schizoid disorder
any advice?
>>29847046
>it is shooting
Yeah, you NEED to get to the hospital. You have fucked up badly dude.
Go to the hospital, right now.
>>29844740
>Why do you want to jump out of a window?
i don't, i just feel like there isn't any other choice, i wish it was easier and less messy to disappear
>>29844740
>Why do you want to jump out of a window?
ptsd and lots of physical problems
>Why should you do, why dhouldn't you do?
if i'm ever literally in so much pain that i can't do anything or breathe well, it doesn't make sense to stay alive for people to take care of me if i'm not happy or doing anything at all
>Why shouldn't I do?
sometimes i can help people with certain problems, and i still enjoy things.
i think a big problem is trying to force people to go to school, work, raise a family, etc. you can't force everyone to do the same things, society benefited from having different people doing different things, and if people felt like they had a bit more freedom they might be less unhappy.
i want to see thetechnological singularity as it happens, but i know if i die before then it'll be possible to bring dead people back to life afterwards
>>29847360
This kind of makes me sad, robot. I'm going to write it off as trolling though, so I don't feel bad.
>>29847669
also i was once injured pretty badly, and it made me feel lonely/numb. i guess that's what dying feels like, and i don't want to feel that again, even though i'm not really afraid of it anymore.
>>29845243
>transphobia
>unironically supporting mental illness
>>29844740
Life is whatever you want to make of it. It was his to take and his alone.
I won't tell you how to reconcile the fact that he's gone, but I think that it's more important to focus on the influence he brought to your life and how he helped you along as a human being.
It's all fleeting, whether you fly out of a windshield and have your brains scattered all over the pavement and your jimmies waving in the wind for everyone to see and take pictures of, or whether it is by your own hand is inconsequential.
Don't waste your time here.
>>29844740
>Why do you want to jump out of a window?
I have money (110k $/year), free time, I am not fat nor skinny. I just do not want to be here anymore. Last 4 years I have been smoking a pack of cigarettes everyday. I have also began to take drugs. I just don't care anymore.
There is nothing I want and there never will be anything.
>>29848496
>good christians believe god created men and women and he's never wrong :^)
>>29848837
>that apathy
I dont get why some people cant accept that others dont want to be alive anymore, simply because there is nothing worthwhile here in this life. I cant bring myself to end my own life, but i will accept death at any moment. At any time
>>29848869
Thanks. Seems like you too live in doubt and nihilism everyday. I do feel the very same thing like you do. I will not throw myself out of the window but I would not be disappointed if I stopped being there today.
Heh. Summer has came, soon I will have to take my holidays and do something. I was thinking about going on 2 weeks drinking streak in eastern europe. Any plans, anon?
>>29848838
What the fuck dude, you actually believe in someones fucked up brain telling them to chop off their genitals holy shit. There's male and female no religion needed you sjw mentally ill freak
I'm holding back on suicide for several reasons, but one paranoid and nonsensical reason holds that if reincarnation is real, there's a chance I'lll respawn in a worse situation or as a nigger in Africa. I don't return back to this planet in any form, better or worse. I wish someone would exterminate us all. I wouldn't have to worry about this paranoid thought being true if there were to be no more vessels for me to return in. Fuck, at least have a plague to kill all those worthless breeding third worlders.
>>29849042
reincarnation is a half-truth,resurrecting the dead with super-advanced artificial intelligence and technologywill be possible in the future
>>29849156
>resurrecting the dead with super-advanced artificial intelligence and technology will be possible in the future
Wishful thinking, anon. You attribute human beings far too much intelligence and power.
>>29849156
Even if aliens or advance humans a million years from now can bring you back to life, they wouldn't be able to restore your brain state at time of death since that's based on electrical signals that are simply gone. It'd just be a clone of you without your memories, not really "you".
>>29849225
This has began to evolve since 1980. If you were to throw the dumbest neural network machine learning today and gave it one goal it would only be a matter of time until it did it. It could take billions of years and we could no longer be there but it is a certainty resurrection machine could be brute forced by sheer trial and error.
>>29844740
I don't want to because I don't think it makes any sense to do so. I think that any kind of experience, no matter how miserable, is better than no experience at all, so there's no reason to prefer death to life.
>>29849314
>>I think that any kind of experience, no matter how miserable, is better than no experience at all
Eternally having your skin flayed off would not be better than oblivion you crazy person
>>29847360
> For him, struggle is over.
We salute you, brave if conflicted anon.
>>29844740
I can't speak for anyone else, normie or robot or whatever. I don't even know who I'd qualify as. Probably the former. I've had fulfilling sexual relationships. Most of the time, even during them, I'd rather be drunk into incoherency than deal with the bullshit of my environment. Poverty sucks, and I'd wager most folks here are poor.
But I don't want to die. I want to fix myself. I want to make enough money to build a life I could be happy with.
There's this thing, though. I'm getting treated for mental health problems. The shrinks seem to think I'm bipolar. I think I'm ADHD. Whatever. My primary care doctor gave me diazepam. That's about to be switched to lithium and therapy, so yay, I don't even get the solace of drugs that work anymore.
And along with the news that I'll be put on drugs that will turn me into a zombie and not do shit for the fucking head problems, they gave me literature. Pamphlets. One of them says their goal is "supporting individuals... toward greater independence and community integration."
To me, this is as much of a lie as "liberty, equality, fraternity." If I'm independent-- Which is their stated goal-- then why the fuck would I integrate with my current society? I don't think my environment is solely responsible for my fucky brain chemistry, but I sure as FUCK don't think it helped, or want to support it in any way.
I don't want to die. I want to fix myself. But I'm increasingly coming to realize that probably entails fucking off into the mountains with a trailer and only coming back to the city once a month or so for supplies. And as far as the looks I get when I say that, I might as well want to die. It's social suicide, and I've been told it would "hurt" people almost as much as offing myself.
...Well, they're welcome to come with, I suppose, but that's it. Exercising any kind of independence seems to hurt someone else, but I want what I can take from this fucking world.
>>29849272
> can't into information theory
There is insufficient mutual information between the accessible environment and the dead person's mind to resurrect them. At best you could get a shitty chatbot trained on their written communication and a vocoder voice matched to recorded conversations. It would be like that ROM construct of the dead hacker in Gibson's Neuromancer. Ironically the construct was fairly suicidal.
>>29849487
There's this Adult Swim fake informercial. "Live Forever As You Are Now with Alan Resnick", I believe. It is unnerving as fuck, and exactly what you're describing.
>>29847566
> what is charcoal burning
> what is hydrogen sulfide
> what are opiate overdoses
There are lots of ways that aren't painful anon. It's just the question of whether you really do want to do it. I've been stuck on that one for years now.
>>29849042
You're over thinking it. When we die our atoms disperse into the universe. Reincarnation is your atoms continuing on in other forms.
>>29849632
the atoms in me now aren't the same atoms that were in me 20 years ago.
so...am i dead
>tfw I want to die
>think about all the different ways to die daily
>cant even sleep anymore because of nightmares and night terrors
>hallucinating again
>medicine doesn't help anymore
>slowly losing grip on reality
I want to fucking quit
>>29849795
I don't know where you are or if you like tea, but anon?
If it's around 3:30 or thereabouts where you are, then at least you can make coffee (or leaf juice strained through hot water, I ain't gonna judge) and watch the sun rise soon. Seems a good enough reason to put off the thoughts of suicide for an hour or so.
>>29849849
2:37 here in WA
I'm probably gonna chain smoke and just sit here on 4chan like I've been doing since 2006
>>29849866
2:42 in the true north and cucked, nice to say hello to you anon before you off yourself
>>29849770
I didn't say our atoms were us. I said when we die, the particular physical matter that was producing our consciousness will disperse and contribute to other forms. Imagine you are water then you turn into steam.
>>29849931
I don't have a gun or the guts to kill myself honestly. Already tried 4 - 5 times in the past.
>>29849952
you want me to pick u up and we can asphyxiate in my old campervan? no homo of course
>>29849866
4chan will still be here after the sun rises, anon. And the past decade led to you wanting to off yourself. Am I really askin' so much?
>>29849931
There's a joke about friendly Canadians here but I'm way too tired to shit it out.
>>29849980
This sounds like an offer for gay sex. Are you another one of those seattle trannies?
>>29850006
lol, no just a regular canadian faggot who wants to die before the trudeau/hillary cuckening
>>29844740
>tfw i'm the only thing keeping my mom alive
>tfw i need to see a doctor because of severe depression
There's just so many horrible things in this world, so many things that make me live in dread, so many things that make me feel helpless. I'm totally lost.
>>29850018
Canada is 3 hours from me
i've never hurt myself, but i've thought of it. Fear of failing, and not knowing for sure what's after it keeps me from it.
>>29850061
yeah, i'll come across the border to pick you up nigger
you have to pay for the argon though
>>29844740
>tfw hoping i get a terminal illness because i can't follow through with suicide attempts.
>>29846088
This sent chills down my spine
>>29844740
>We live in a cage, in a hell, and that's why we want to survive in it.
He isn't -- wasn't, "We".
>>29844740
>Why do you want to jump out of a window?
90% of my family would throw a party if i killed myself. Only my mom and grandparents would actually be sad, the rest are hypocrites who would use my death for attention.
>Why should you do, why dhouldn't you do?
Because my life is finished, the end of the line.
>Why shouldn't I do?
If you're asking this question, then you probably shouldn't do it.
>tfw afraid of getting committed if i see a doctor
i've never hurt myself, but what is it like if they do it?
>>29849941
I might even go as far as to say that it's a bit broader than that. In that we are in a sense, a blip of sentience in a vast sea of darkness. We are the eyes of this thing we have labeled the cosmos, and collectively we are the consciousness of the universe we inhabit.
One eye shuts, another opens.
>>29844740
go be a hero
>>29850329
Totally agree. original comment.
>>29850321
Depends on the hospital. Some are better than others.
You'll almost certainly be around really scary people and you may need to kind of join a clique of more level-headed people to feel secure.
Most likely you will not get your own room.
