Who /legit crazy/ here?
>hear voices in my head all day
>get into fights with random people on the street for looking at me
>need to throw things across the room
>think everyone is trying to trick me in some way
>buy gallon milk every 3 days just to pour it out the window
>tell authority figures that a demon is trying to eat my soul
You're schizophrenic. Good job.
>>29843948
But how would you post this and know you were insane if you were really insane?
>>29843967
It's called a moment of clarity, friend.
>>29843948
>buy gallon milk every 3 days just to pour it out the window
the absolute madman
How did it begin, OP?
>>29843948
>buy gallon milk every 3 days just to pour it out the window
I thought I was the only one
>>29843948
Tell us a story. Tell us how it all began.
Have you gone to therapy yet?
>>29843967
And.. if he says he's insane... he must be sane! Only a madman would make no effort whatsoever to get out of this hellhole.
>>29844372
>>29844420
Honestly I'm not sure I can pinpoint the exact moment, probably after a near death experience I had when I was like 15 and almost drowned in the ocean, it was mostly just a downward slope after that, like my mind got progressively worse and worse. Each day a new thing would bother me, or a new voice would show up. It's mostly the voices that get me, a lot of times I can't tell if someone actually said something or it was one of the voices or even the demon. I just listen to them and do what they say.
I haven't gone to therapy because I don't want to go to the psych ward. I just kind of deal with it, I know it isn't normal and sooner or later someone is going to force me to go though.
>>29843948
i get into fights with invisible people in my bathroom and talk to myself instead
fuck i got erect just thinking about pouring a gallon of milk out the window thanks for the idea
>>29844587
>I don't want to go to the psych ward.
That's why you should seek it.
The last thing you want to do is ignore it so long that you actually become psychotic and completely lose touch with reality. You will likely be committed.
If you seek it earlier on you'll get medicine and coping mechanisms without having to be locked away.
You're insane - but you're sane enough to know it! Don't let it get worse.
>>29844587
no drug use at all?
>>29844677
I don't want to go because I don't want to lose the voices at this point. We've been together for so long that if they went away I wouldn't know what to do, nothing to guide me in life.
>>29844754
I smoked weed in university and did mdma a few times, but I'm not a regular user.
>>29844966
>I don't want to go because I don't want to lose the voices at this point. We've been together for so long that if they went away I wouldn't know what to do, nothing to guide me in life.
.-.
worrying.
![387477777774747474].gif](https://i.imgur.com/VK8kIDm.gif "387477777774747474].gif")
>>29845025
I appreciate your concern anon. You're a good guy.
>>29845149
>I appreciate your concern anon
Anything else you want to talk about? Catharsis is always healthy.
>. You're a good guy.
I'm really not.
>>29845187
What kind of person are you like if you're not good? Are you one of those people that pretend to have good intentions and love to watch people suffer. There are a lot of guys like that outside, a station guard tried to call the cops on me once after eating lunch with me, pretending to be nice and then double crossing me.
>tfw it would be awesome to hear voices because i would feel less lonely
>>29845475
>Are you one of those people that pretend to have good intentions and love to watch people suffer
"on one hand I kinda like it when a lot of people die, but on the other hand, I always wonder how many unused frequent flyer miles they had."
- George Carlin
>be 19
>have never wanted a relationship or to have sex in my entire life
>probably never will
>can't even remotely imagine being in a relationship and enjoying it
there must be something severely wrong with me
>>29845475
>a station guard tried to call the cops on me once after eating lunch with me, pretending to be nice and then double crossing me.
What do you mean by station guard? Why would he do that?
No, I would never do that.
>>29845566
He works in the train station, to watch people to make sure they aren't doing anything strange or suspicious. I thought he was a good guy but I was wrong. I threw a pack of chewing gum at a musician and he took me to eat lunch with him. He seemed like a good guy. I wanted him to be a good guy. The voices said he was a good guy, but then he called the cops, and the voices told me to get out as fast as I could.
>>29845685
M8, are you sure that any of that actually happened?
Don't take this the wrong way.
>>29845552
>there must be something severely wrong with me
Go to a therapist. I know this is the typical answer people get but it can help. It really does help.
>>29843948
My nigga. You sound like a fucking chill guy. I'd love to get drunk with you.
>all these fuckers pouring perfectly good milk out the window
What a waste. Pour it in my mouth instead!
i tend to slam my head against things and beat things and i cant help it. i can drive but i cannot leave my car and even driving has recently been giving me paranoia, i dont actually walk or sit in public because im afraid of someone hurting me
>>29845744
I can't really be sure of anything most of the time anon. I feel like I'm rarely the one in control of what happens to me. A lot of what I remember is just pieces now. But I know that guy, we ate tacos together and he was a good guy then, but then he tricked me and called the cops. He could have been the demon. I don't know, it's messed up.
>>29843948
Dide of you think a demon is after you just use salt lines and memorize tje right of exorcism
Also g et the anti possion symbol tattowd on you .
I gueas some semon traps around tje house wouldnt hurt either. Also dont forget to stock up on honly water.
Ma u be fins rhw demons bones and salt and burn tjwm. Remwber dwmons are just ghosts with egos
>>29845857
Hey what you need is to talk to someone professionally. They're really open minded and understand you. That and try to focus on be optimistic, not just about mental health but start thinking about something great you want to do, learn to program, learn to paint and make millions off insane person creativity. I delt with mental health issues for years and just the optimism of working on my hobbies alone probably saved my life
>>29845520
I would love this desu.
>>29845923
>semon traps
Did you mean semen traps? Are you brit or what?
>>29845767
I do think there's something wrong with me, like low testosterone, autism and/or schizoid personality disorder, but I find it weird to call it a sickness to be free from sexual urges and emotional suffering from loneliness. Doesn't feel like a disability to me, besides the lack of motivation. Because otherwise I can't be motivated or bought by sex, and there's a whole universe of sadness and frustration (that I've seen on /r9k/ for years) I'll never have to deal with
>swing between feeling like Jesus incarnate to actual shit demon sent from hell
>go between loving everyone to intense fear and hatred of people
>see a blue man watching me outside every night
>terrified that God is trying to kill me for all the bad things ive done
>up for 4-5 days at a time which makes moods and hallucinations worse
>constant nightmares
>flashbacks most days
>lucky enough i have some periods of balance and i manage to feel ok
am i kraz-e yet
>>29843948
I've just been doing some autistic stuff in my childhood like banging myself on the head.
Now I think that I might go completely crazy if I have some bifurcation point where I'd do something out of order like start a fight with someone for no reason.
Also I'm going from robot to failed normie tier, so that makes having mental problems even more interesting.
BTW, when I was a kid I've Imagined myself a whole world and spoke to it's inhabitants each night. And now I can also imagine the world around me as if I was on drugs.
>>29845957
But if I go to therapy they'll try to take the voices away and the voices are really nice and they know what's good for me. I don't want to get tricked again by someone who turns out to not be a good guy. I think you're a good guy anon, and I'm happy you were able to be at peace with your life. I feel peace now, but I still know I'm not normal and don't live like you're supposed to.
>>29846081
You're good anon. that's all pretty normal.
>>29844587
you have the demon too? my demon likes to stay upstairs because I growl at him or scream at him and he doesn't like it he's kind of a pussy I think he might be a kid demon but sometimes he watched me sleep and it's weird
>>29843948
If you're aware these things are crazy then you're not crazy(or at least mildly so), just a fucking idiot.
>>29843948
do you fuck? not even memeing you i want to know if crazy people fuck
>>29846175
The demon usually tries to trick me, but sometimes he's a good guy. I don't know, he's just kind of there, throwing in his two cents every once in awhile. Sometimes he goes out with me, but sometimes he just stays inside.
going to the park on sunday park on sunday going sunday park
>>29846252
Sometimes. A lot of the time I don't find the person to be attractive, but the voices say it's a good idea so I just do it and listen to them. Sometimes I freak out and forget where I am or what I am doing and try to fight them though so I'm not very good with keeping relationships or anything like that.
ooh i wanna touch him wanna touch him TOUCH TOUCH
>>29846294
mine never leaves the house so I never leave the house I normally fuck with my demon and trick him and make him mad, idk why but I hate him and I'd kill him if I could I want him to fucking die. I've tried to kill him because I've had two demons and the first one was really mean and would hurt me and follow me outside to my friends houses and I don't want this demon to grow any kind of confidence
without my medication:
>every several weeks I will stop eating, sleeping, will talk uncontrollably about paranoid delusions, will spend money like an absolute madman on luxurious hotels/clothes/sex toys/weapons/alcohol, and will attack unsuspecting people without provocation either with a knife or gloved hands
>will see shadow people, insects and full-blown hallucinations of regular people doing disturbing things, most commonly just watching me but sometimes crawling on me or trying to hurt me
>will hallucinate crazy light shows on reflective surfaces and in the light, kind of like looking into a kaleidoscope but with your naked eye
>will hallucinate some disturbing fucking inanimate shit
>will hear muffled voices talking and laughing, music playing that isn't there
while medicated I still get the following:
>get intrusive thoughts almost constantly about torturing, mutilating, killing and raping the corpses of random people, family, friends, everyone (but mostly just random people that have never provoked me or given me any reason to bear them any ill will)
>will obsess over death, decay and gore to the point where I'll spend days or weeks doing nothing but eating, sleeping and masturbating to pictures and videos, drawing pictures and comics, fantasizing and visiting cemeteries/funeral homes
>sexualize the dead when they're very decomposed and find abstract things sexual if they're rotting
>have night terrors almost every night, nightmares every night about the things that I just listed and memories of being abused and of harming other people
>will pick and peel at my skin until I have bleeding sores, have small scars all over my legs and upper arms from doing this but I can't fucking stop
I can present myself as a polite, calm, affable person but even when I'm putting on my best act I can't fucking hide how bothered I am 100% of the time. People say that if you think you're crazy you aren't but that's a load of horse shit, this is not okay.
>>29846372
>Sometimes i freak out and forget where i am or what I'm doing and try to fight them
You're and inspiration man. I'm loving your story. I'm genuinely interested. what kind of shit do you do for fun? vidya? read? write crazy papers? and if so what kind.
>>29846435
I'm really into knitting recently, it's a really nice hobby because all the voices agree when I'm making something, like how many stitches and what colours to use so it's nice. I want to make nice things to give to people who are good guys because they deserve nice things.
I haven't been too into video games for awhile, but I used to play dark souls a lot. I don't really read or write for fun though.
What about you anon, what do you do for fun?
oh btw op I'm not trying to make fun of you for having a demon I'm actually trying to relate to someone else with this problem
>>29846604
I started reading old poetry and short stories (think Edgar Allan Poe / Lovecraft) mostly to be edgy and try to sound better than people when i talk about it but i actually found i enjoyed it. other than that i program stuff. i use to make EDM also but i found i didn't have time for it anymore.
>>29846707
It's cool anon. The demon isn't really a problem for me, he is just kind of there, he rarely does anything or tries for my attention. A lot of the time he tricks me but I don't think he would do anything that actually would harm me. I want to like him but I know he's not a good guy.
>>29846718
I was never good with computers, I get jealous of people who can program and write code and all that. Do you have any favourite poems you'd recommend. I could learn a few more hobbies.
>>29846786
my second demon doesn't do anything but the first one was so bad I don't want my new one to end up like him, I'd rather die than relive that
>>29844587
>almost drowned in the ocean
Lack of oxygen caused brain damage maybe? How long were you out for?
>>29846918
You could try to be his friend or on good terms so he doesn't try anything so bad. For me it's ok because I have the voices that have my attention for the most part, and the demon is just an after thought. Sometimes he looks like people I know and then I have a bad time. I hope you'll be ok anon.
>>29846977
Honestly I don't know. I remember going to the ocean with some friends and trying to hold our breath underwater, one of them hit my head really hard and I was sinking or something and then I remember waking up in the hospital. But they let me leave after a few days and didn't say anything else was wrong.
>>29846846
i have some i really enjoy, you should check out some of Lovecrafts work he writes a lot about monsters and shit. i like to put on readings of them while i code or just doodle on my notebook.
try out Nemesis by HP Lovecraft.
>>29845977
>no girl can manipulate you
>nobody can blackmail you effectively
idk anon, sounds like true freedom.
>>29846986
I hope so, I'm gonna go to therapy and get help for the voices because they're not nice and tell me to beat my family, but I think the reason I'm so pissed off by my new demon is that before I moved and he decided to stay upstairs he used to stand outside my window and either tap on the class or the wall and it was annoying
>>29847056
Are you Stewie Griffin?
>>29846420
Jesus Christ man, you just accept all that bullshit?
