Stand up 2016

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Anonymous
Stand up 2016 2016-07-10 00:51:15Post No. 29841238
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Stand up 2016 Anonymous 2016-07-10 00:51:15 Post No. 29841238 [Report]

Heyyyyy guise
>audience goes wooooo wooo

Soooooooooo I'm a slut
>women in audience shriek, men giggle a bit

But what else is new right?
>that one girl in the back audibly laughs one more time just after the audience went silent again
>this causes the front rows to resume laughing

Wow okay, I wish the GUY I met last night was THIS enthusiastic
>one woman jumps up on the stage and starts twerking

I was like UHMMMM? WHAT are you doing?
>the Ghostbusters car crashes through the wall and kills 50 people
>Melissa McCarthy quips "we're supposed to CATCH ghosts, not MAKE MORE"

Jesus, I haven't seen this much blood since...
>everything goes dead silent
>Kristen Wiig slowly opens a bag of chips while the camera zooms in on her face
>the remaining women in the audience make the fishmouth face
>nobody moves

...MY PERIOD
>all the corpses reanimate and start eating the men
>Brianna Wu announces Revolution 60-X2 on twitter
>Kate McKinnon announces Blues Brothers reboot

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 01:20:08 Post No.29841689
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 01:20:08 Post No.29841689 [Report]

>Kate McKinnon announces Blues Brothers reboot

That's not funny. Some things you don't joke about.

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 01:23:06 Post No.29841744
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 01:23:06 Post No.29841744 [Report]

>>29841238
>Melissa McCarthy quips "we're supposed to CATCH ghosts, not MAKE MORE"

That's pretty funny. Maybe Melissa McCarthy ain't so bad after all.

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 01:24:42 Post No.29841773
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 01:24:42 Post No.29841773 [Report]

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>>29841238
HOW DARE YOU JOKE ABOUT THE BLUE BROTHERS

YOU WILL BURN IN HELL FOR SUCH BLASPHEMY

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 01:28:09 Post No.29841831
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 01:28:09 Post No.29841831 [Report]

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>mention alcohol or weed
>audience erupts in applause

This has always irritated me.

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 01:32:00 Post No.29841890
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 01:32:00 Post No.29841890 [Report]

>>29841689
>Blues Sisters

fuck fuck fuck fuck nonononononononono please stop this no never no no no fuck all this.

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 01:33:06 Post No.29841911
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 01:33:06 Post No.29841911 [Report]

>>29841238
>>Melissa McCarthy quips "we're supposed to CATCH ghosts, not MAKE MORE"
this is fake and gay, she would of made a joke about being fat

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 01:38:29 Post No.29842002
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 01:38:29 Post No.29842002 [Report]

I see the one about the Blues Brothers cut really deep

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 02:12:35 Post No.29842580
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 02:12:35 Post No.29842580 [Report]

You'd have to be in your early or mid 30's to hold Blue Brothers dear.

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 02:19:27 Post No.29842699
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 02:19:27 Post No.29842699 [Report]

>>29841238

the blues brother reboot part was kinda funny

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 03:30:03 Post No.29843893
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 03:30:03 Post No.29843893 [Report]

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>>29841238
>Kate McKinnon announces Blues Brothers reboot

>>

Anonymous 2016-07-10 04:05:37 Post No.29844460
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 04:05:37 Post No.29844460 [Report]

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>comedian walks out on stage with guitar

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 04:39:58 Post No.29845058
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 04:39:58 Post No.29845058 [Report]

>>29844460
Tim Allen is a rat

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Anonymous 2016-07-10 04:46:03 Post No.29845157
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Anonymous 2016-07-10 04:46:03 Post No.29845157 [Report]

>>29844460
>comedian starts making stupid noises or asking people in the crowd questions

I have no appropriate image to post so just imagine a man pissing on a fresh corpse with a look of complete contempt on his face.