So robots, none of us have gfs, but all of us want them
Say what if one day something happens and you get one. How would you treat her, what would you do with her, what would you talk about, would you take her on dates, what would you and her do for fun besides fuck?
bonus
>what is the coziest thing you can think of with her
>describe your ideal life with her
>describe her in all ways
put my dick in it
>>29840713
>Say what if one day something happens and you get one
become a nervous wreck becuase i have no idea what to do now and my disinterest in most things would probably make her not want to be with me anymore
and thats why I dont bother with tfw no gf. rarely think about it nowadays
>>29840713
Cyborg here.
Shes just a mate, i treat her as i would a guy but behind closed doors we fuck and cuddle and kiss. outside nothing more than a lad mate really.
I'm making mine watch Congo with me currently.
>>29840713
Iove her
>>29840713
>but all of us want them
Speak for yourself, f-a-m.
>>29842395
>asexual
Literally the definition of "I gave up trying to get a girlfriend"
Go fuck yourself failed robot.
>>29840713
What would I do with a tomboy gf?
Fight with her.
Play sports with her
Watch kung-fu movies with her and try to copy the moves
Tease her and laugh when she gets mad and pouts
Let her pin me so I can feel her body pressed against mine
Flipping her back over so that I can stare into her eyes
Protecting her from bullies even though I know she can handle herself
Walk home with her at sunset after a long day of running around and getting into trouble
Cheering her on and always supporting her, win or lose
Throwing her a victory barbeque where I make all her favorite foods
Massaging her legs, shoulders, and back
Holding her close and telling her you love her
Reassure her that she is the most beautiful girl in the world when she gets jealous of the more feminine girls
Accept all of her girlish sensibilities, no matter how much she hates me finding out about them
Pat her head
Get caught in the rain during a cross country run and huddle together with her under an abandoned bus stop waiting for it to pass
Hold her hand in public
Make her try on cute dresses when we're out on a date even though I know she'll never buy one
Buy her sexy black lace lingerie, only for her to wear spats over them
Trace my finger over the tanlines she got during the summer and feeling how warm her skin is
Have her jump into my arms and kiss me after spending time apart over vacation
Introduce her to my parents
Marriage
Carrying her over the threshold of our new home to start a life together while she punches me in the shoulder and pouts that she can walk just fine herself
Lying her down on the bed
Whisper into her ear how much she means to me while caressing her toned body
Spending an entire night making passionate love to each other
Raise a new generation of tomboys with
Love her unconditionally as we grow old together
>>29842806
beautiful anon, absolutely beautiful
>watch tv as we cuddle
>play video games as we cuddle
>kiss her anytime and does well in the game
>go out and do fun stuff togetheras we hold hands
>do lewd things to listen to her cute moans
>play board games
>cuddle up against her as we sleep
>tease her and jokingly make fun of her
>>29840713
>all of us want them
nope, i'd much rather be able to socialize and make friends normally
>>29840713
>guzzling wine while watching a depressing movie and cuddling during a storm
>I go to work, maybe she does too, and we have a nice family, I rear our children to be ubermensch free of degeneracy
>implying I can describe her and I won't just know intuitively that I've found what I want
I'd do the kind of stuff I do with grinds but I with cuddling, and I'd dress her up in cute clothes. I don't really care much for sex actually. So long as she hasn't fucked others I'm fine with just cuddling/kissing.
>>29843532
well you gotta sexually satisfy her my frienderino every human needs some sort of sexual release whether it be masturbation or whatever
Share hobbies, bantz, make her laugh a lot, let the retard inside me loose (believe or not, it works when the girl is already your gf, but not before), travel together, and the most important part, having compatible goals in life that we can help each other achieve. This can be easier if she has the same career as you (catching them in fresh in university is very important).
People are very simple, they are satisfied with a clutch they can rely on.
>>29843621
I don't have a problem with it, I just wouldn't want a relationship revolving around sex.
>>29840713
>what is the coziest thing you can think of with her
On a chilly fall night, we'd curl up on the couch. No TV, no movies, just enjoying each other's prescence (probably a bit of radio though). And she'd close her eyes contented that she's not alone and I'd just watch her and gently run my fingers through her hair, contented that I'm not alone. The rain would slowly start up and I'd drift off to sleep, the radiant warmth of a human body that's not disgusted by your touch keeping you warm.
>describe your ideal life with her
Basically this whole album. http://imgur.com/gallery/ypyya
I'm such a fundamentally boring person, I don't know what the fuck else I could do except cuddle, sex, watch movies together, maybe play board games. None of the stuff I like doing is really cooperative in nature.
>>29843731
respectable, id value that in my relationship too
>>29843779
That doesn't matter as much, you need to have a solid personality, develop a circumstancial sense of humor. That way you always take advantage of the situation, and relate it properly to the very few experiences you have.
I never go out of my house, i don't have any hobby, i don't have any friends, and yet i can still make people laugh and keep a conversation going.
>>29840713
sit there and try not to have a mental break down as she does nothing but scream at me
>>29843913
dream gf doesn't scream at you anon
she addresses her problems or issues with you or something else in her calmest manner
>>29842806
That was beautiful
Original comentary
Well. I'd date a guy or girl but for this I'll say she/her.
I'd want them to be someone not like me I guess. Someone unpredictable that keeps my life interesting and helps me through things I have difficulty with and I can help her through things since we can see situations differently. Obviously not so different that we argue but enough that our conversations are new and refreshing. Someone who makes me more happy with my waking life than my dreams.
Cozy? Lie under the stars together, go on walks during the night holding hands. Have her sit on my shoulders . Watch movies. Video games.
Obviously cuddles.
Climb trees and go on bike rides all over.
Idk.
Probably mostly talk and go on hikes in nature. Travel. The works.
But I'm too hollow now to remember most of the things I would have wanted to do let alone do any.
I'm really tired and plain want to die.
Soo
>>29843731
Or find a gf who doesn't want sex.
>>29842806
Hey, wanna date?
I want to make my hypothetical gf watch NGE and discuss it in an autistic way
I have autism
I would also want to write little notes to her in the morning and make her laugh
The laughter part would be nice
>>29844144
I'll date those dubs.
Sorry though, I've discovered a soul-crushing truth, which is that qt tomboys don't exist in 3D
>Get her into watching movies with me and try and make her interested in arthouse
>Discuss the themes of said movies with her. I'd love to talk about life and meaning with a gf after watching a Malick or Tarkovsky movie
>Share feels with her while watching said movies
>Hug her tight while watching horror movies
>Cuddle while listening to some jazz in a rainy night
>Run with her by the beach
>Cook with her
>Work our way up in life together, just imagine the feel of achieving your career goals with someone who've always stood by you
>Talk to her about philosophy and the meaning of our existence and human purpose
>Have hour-long conversations about interesting topics
>Travel through Europe and share the feeling of seeing beatiful landscapes together
>Later in the relationship redpill her and teach her the horrors of modern society
>Tell her it'll be alright and we're trying to make a good influence in society, and that our sons will be the bastions of hope in the years to come
i found the eprfect girl and some drunk motherfucker crashed her
now she is ded
>>29843913
Play with her feet while watching movies
>>29844195
Yeah I'm not super qt, about avg looking, good complexion..uneven face
>>29844216
Also
>crackjokes about liberals
That would make my days
>>29840713
>but all of us want them
no
relationships are expensive and it takes a lot of effort to maintain them. Until I reach all my financial goals I wouldnt even think of having one
>>29844115
That seems like it would be hard to find though. I could be wrong, I don't go out that much.
>>29844234
if it stops the yelling i'll do anything
smash a hammer in the back of her head and then fuck the hole that it created.
love is a scam. all that good feelings and memories you built can be shit on by her one drunken night.
it's all pointless to treat people as humans. just shit on them and take what you need.
>>29844239
Tbh I don't care about looks, would you climb monkeybars with me?
What? I'm a robot and I have a girlfriend. She's a robot too. We spent all night playing Pokemon Go. I don't think we even made eye contact.
>>29844256
>tfw am girl who doesn't want sex
But a lot of people do think I'm abnormal so you are probably right.
>>29843465
This is the true answer.
I just want to be free from crippling loneliness, with people who wouldn't judge me. If I can't even make friends, just getting a girlfriend would not solve anything.
>>29844295
Yeah I'd go across monkey bars.
We r gonna climb that tree after, tho.
I had one back in high schoolalmost 10 years ago. We mostly just hung out in her parents basement making out and rarely having really awful sex. Sometimes we played old atari games.
It was kind of lame in retrospect. Having someone to hold and be with is nice but other times the other person is just a burden and you always feel like 'well, what now?'.
>>29844349
I'm down, I haven't climbed a tree in way too long
Yell at her and hit her when I'm in a bad mood and then tell her that it's her fault
>>29844312
I don't really care if a girl is kind of weird but if I'll never meet one anyway it's wort of pointless to think about.
>>29844353
Hence my first paragraph of
>>29844093
Also Atari 2600 for the win.
I have most of the games ^_^
>>29844382
Awesome! Fucking love climbing trees, man. The view is nice and I can tickle you with leaves.
>>29840713
kill people easier
>>29844440
Omg I was so close to quints twice
REEEE
>>29844272
Lol i like your style, Anon.
I'd like someone to trade massages with. Someone with an edgy sense of humor, that could laugh at all the fucked up thing going on in the world with me.
Also smoke weed while watching anime (although i had to quit smoking for work)
Go on adventures, walking the dunes or hiking the appalachian trail.
Maybe become an outlaw couple like bonnie and clyde or like in NBK.
Wage gueriila war against the normie hipster world. cause havok and destruction, die young.
>>29844440
Trees are awesome, but I'm extremely ticklish, so I might knock you the fug out
>>29844496
Ticklish you say? :3 oh boy that opens a lot of options. Nah, just kidding, I wouldn't be that mean..may tickle you a bit though.
And do fight me, I haven't wrestled for years and it sounds like fun.
Wow you're all faggots.
>>29844660
Wow, you're a piece of shit who makes pointless posts.
>>29844596
I can't wrestle for crap, so my offense would probably consist of desperate tard strikes.
>>29844683
Wow you're mad
>>29844700
>desperate tard strikes
made me giggle
If you don't want to wrestle we could cuddle and watch a film instead.
What movies do you like?
>>29844720
I'm not but sorry if it came across that way. I was trying to say "get the fuck out if yer not gonna contribute" in the same style of wording he had.
>>29844738
My favorite ones are Lotr, I'm pretty autistic about Lotr in general though.
Other than that it's just super shitty and random ones like hard ticket to hawaii or anything by asylum
>>29844771
U use a lot a words poof
>>29844840
lotr is pretty good, as long as you don't watch the extended versions, basically one after another like I did. I really like the three Flavours Cornetto trilogy. And also a bunch of random shit like Let the Right One In, Griff the Invisible, Primer, and The Thin Red Line. None of those are like eachother at all, man.
I haven't heard of Hard Ticket to Hawaii and will look it up sometime for sure.
>>29844916
Sorry I am really bad at explaining.
>>29840713
Are there any anons here who would want to do things like go to the opera, symphony or ballet with her? Or is that outside the realm of what even robots could stand?
>>29845023
Symphony, not really the others though.
>>29844965
Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz are amazing, I've never seen the Worlds End. Let the Right One in is great as well, I read the The Thin Red Line but haven't seen the movie.
Hard Ticket to Hawaii is absolutely dreadful, I wouldn't recommend it unless you enjoy non-nonsensical plots and awful acting
>>29845023
I love this shit. Don't presume
>>29845044
That does tend to be the cheapest and most accessible one of the three anyway. There can be several dozen symphony performances a season, while you barely get a half dozen of the other two.
What turns you off to opera and ballet? Is it the image of them being female-dominated hobbies?
>>29842431
being a mix of schizoid and autistic, i've never had real sexual desire and especially not a desire to get a gf, so no there was no giving up for me. When I fap it's only out of boredom or to help me sleep and I can fap to almost anything
I feel lucky that I don't have to deal with this level of pain and stress and complicated bullshit that causes a lot of men to go insane or commit suicide, i live my life not giving a fuck about anything
>>29845110
What kind of person are you otherwise? Wasn't trying to, I just don't know how to find someone else into this who isn't three times my age. There isn't a young person's group for it in my city. I thought it might be a thing robots could be into. It may be considered "going out," but it's not like clubs or bars.
>>29845072
I got through The Room so I'll probably be fine, man. Guessing Hard Ticket to Hawaii is enjoyable by how shitty it is and being amused by that. Also The World's end is VERY good, better than Hot Fuzz, but I still like Shaun the best. Would recommend The World's End. Takes a lil to pick up but great overall.
>>29845112
No, I don't really like singing all that much and opera isn't my thing. Ballet is alright and I'd be fine with going if my mate wanted to but I have never been into dancing, though I do commend how they can balance on their toes so well and not be affected by the obvious discomfort.
i would still probably love my imaginary gf more, she at least is pure and nice unlike a real gf
>>29840713
Eat her maybe? I don't know, I heard girls were sweet.
>>29845176
I'll check it out for sure, I don't watch a lot of movies tbqh, most of my time is spent working or exercising, and arguing on a Vietmenese rug appreciation forum
Does anyone want to hear a normie's tale of what I do with my gf?
>>29845308
Only if it's not too mundane.
>>29844216
nice :)
origuuuunal
>>29844284
spoken like a true sociopath :^)
>>29845164
I'm 25 kv and failing trying to quit smoking so I can find motivation to live.
I'd recommend this kind of entertainment to every robot. It's not weird to go alone, generally great and a good way to fool loneliness and breath fresh air. Most of the times you don't even have to spend money since this events are almost all paid by the government
-Take her on adventures
-Travel with her
-Help her develop tastes in coffee tea or whatever she likes.
-Enjoy things together
-Go on road trips.
-Watch classic movies,
-Play classic vidya
-Wander into a town.
-Get lost in some place neither has been before.
-Late night walks together.
-Cook meals together.
-Raise a family of cats.
-Do nice things for her.
-Wake up in her arms.
-Have her wake up in mine.
-Share passions,
-Explore the world together.
-Cuddling
Cozy thing... Maybe resting in a very secluded outdoor place.
A comfy middle class life.
No major money worries, No major complaints.
Moderate challenges here and there with setting up life.
She can be 6 and a half and I'll be fine.
>>29845280
Gotcha, how's having a job? fills me with anxiety thinking about interviews, though I know I can't keep delaying it. Tell me, what is your favorite "Vietmenese" rug pattern.
>>29845437
6 and a half is a little young don't you think?
>>29845479
Fuckin' gold
>>29845121
But you can get turned on enough to ejaculate, how can you be asexual?
>>29845447
I'm in the military, so it's kind of different than most jobs. Mostly I just carry stuff around and do random training.
Pic related
>>29845534
I'm not asexual, it's just very difficult for me to get aroused without stroking my dick. Only a hardcore porn video can cause me to get hard without touching my dick. This isn't caused by porn addiction or frequent masturbation; I only fap 4 times a week at most
I think I have very low testosterone levels, and to top it off I'm 19. Can't imagine how it'll be when I'm 25+
>>29845503
Thanks anon, here's your (You)
>>29845576
10/10 Would definitely smash that rug. Good choice.
>>29845682
Thanks fampai, I try.
Also
>image.jpg
phoneposters need to be culled
>>29845785
No, it's my iPod. I'm lying in bed, mate
>>29845814
I'm just fucking with you meng, I shitpost on my phone all the time. Literally unstoppable
>>29840713
I'd cook her dinner.
>>29840713
I don't want a girlfriend.
I'll never be able to properly reciprocate affection; I can barely look my own mother in the eye and I actually LIKE her.
I've fucked a few birds, was damn thankful for the opportunity too, but I never felt like hanging on.
I'm idle and unconstructive, and though I wish to do something life affirming with my time, there's no pressing need; as I'm registered with major depression and receive money from the government to maintain a fairly humble standard of living.
My presence is anathemical to healthy mental processes; I can't keep my sinning to myself so to speak.
I can't help but inflict my bad mood on everyone I meet, and it spreads like a cold until everybody around me has the same sickness.
I can't want a girlfriend because I know I'd just destroy her or drive her away with my cynicism; it's not a realistic option, and at this stage I'm so embittered and alienated from the rest of the human race; including you, denizens of /r9k/ with whom my kinship is doubtful at best, that indeed I do not know that feel when no gf - at least not the same way you evidently do.
>>29845947
>I've fucked a few birds
>>29845850
Yeah, it's nice. The mobile actually isn't cancerous. tbqhwy I'm really tired and am probably going to sleep now. It's super late (well technically early but w/e). ttyl maybe?
>>29845982
I made a throwaway if you ever feel like emailing.
[email protected]
i tried to convince myself i was in love with a girl while dating, but i guess i wasn't really, or i was just in need of any damn girl instead of loving her for her maybe. in any case, she broke it off
>>Get caught in the rain during a cross country run
this happened to us. was probably the best thing out of two months
inb4 reeee
My loneliness turned into biterness and now hatred. Id probably just abuse her
>>29840713
I'd snuggle with her, cuddle, tell her how beautiful and kind and lovely she is, kiss her every hour, give her all my affection and love, then fuck her tenderly, i-if she wanted, I mean. Then we'd pass out afterwards in bed and cuddle some more!i-it could be a dude, too
I just want a qtp2t to hold hands with while walking in the park alone. When the street lamps just turn on and it starts snowing slowly and quietly.
These have been my feels since middle school ;( too bad im arab
>>29840713
Talk to her about a lot of different topics, just a sense of who she really was and try to connect on a deeper level however I can. move to more to progressively more contentious topics as we grow more comfortable discussing things.
Try to be encouraging and compassionate about the things she want to do.
Encourage her to come to the gym and do some strength training instead of lame ass cardio because I like slightly more muscular then average girls.
Get her into art if she isn't already.
Talk about what music she likes, and feint interest if I don't like it
Go for walks in wooded areas, lots around me and a really calm and nice experience, especially to share
Let her be her own human being separate from me, while I do the same
get her gib me succ.
gib her succ
Give and receive lots of physical contact, reassuring words and love.
Buy her nice things, not nessecarily big, just thoughtful stuff.
Try to love her unconditionally when its hard
Try to be understanding and work on any issues we have
Don't do anything about it when she gets mad and breaks up with me
Don't try to get back together
Be crushed by losing someone I was so attached to
An hero
