suicide
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
well robots, this is it for me.
i wont bore you with the details, because it doesn't really matter.
i'll be killing myself soon. i just finished an album thats being mastered right now. once it finishes it i'll release it and go peacefully in the night.
i want you to know while i disagree with a lot of the ideology here, there are a bunch of you here that made me feel so much better.
i'm not sure whats on the other side. i dont believe in god. but im excited to find out. im excited not to feel this grief anymore.
not sure how i'll do it, probably from jumping off something tall or standing in front of something fast.
thanks for the good times, robots.
>>29838464
whats the album about?
>>29838560
only a few tracks have vocals. its ambient, experiemental electronic.
its about the regret i've faced at the end of a relationship failing. i'd post the album but im worried someone i know might be lurking on this board (i know a bunch of robots) and i dont want anyone trying to stop me.
>>29838464
take me with you?
also can we collab? :)
Godspeed anon, good luck
>>29838464
I'm excited for you anon. Maybe one day I'll join you.
>>29839004
>its ambient, experiemental electronic
gb2/mu/
>>29838464
see you on the other side anon
foriginalo
Do a back flip when you jump, at least then you will go in a cooler way no?
>>29839004
post it i wont stop you
>>29839390
wow kill yourself normie retard
>>29838464
OP, I wish that we could have been friends, but I respect your decision, and I personally think suicide is the smartest thing someone can do. Sleep tight, pupper.
So long space robot
good luck, see you soon.
What was the highlight of your life op?
>>29839615
i think the euphoric feeling i had with her when it was just us in my apartment a year or two ago. god i miss that.
>>29839496
thank you, everyoen wants to stop me. but honestly i just want to sleep.
>>29839384
one day, only if you're ready.
>>29839061
link me your sc.
>>29839466
i dont know if i trust this.
>>29838464
>honestly i just want to sleep.
If that's what you want. I won't try to stop you.
How do you want us to remember you?
post it please i like listening to music from people that are dead
>>29839719
you dont have to remember me by anything.
but honestly, for what its worth, just always know your limitations as a human.
i'm burdened by a mentality where i hold on to things far too long. to an obsessive degree.
i know if i seek help i could maybe live a happy life, but for as long as i can remember my death has always been at my own hands.
if you want to get off r9k and "Get laid" or maybe even fall in love, just know its always a possibility. the mentality on this board is so toxic at times.
we can all be happy we just need to try. and yeah, i know its easier said than done, but thats point.
im not killing myself for any r9k related reasons, im doing it because i feel dread and grief every day from the mistakes of my past.
i know i could try and make it better. but im exhausted. so i give in.
>>29839743
afraid some white knight is gonna rat me out.
can you send me a link to the tracks?
[email protected]
>>29838464
OP when you are dead, if there is an afterlife and you are able to communicate with this world, will you please do something to let me know an afterlife exists? You can find me through this posts IP, maybe. I don't know if ghosts have that ability.
Anyways, if it's possible please let me know (in a non spooky way) that there is an afterlife
>>29839743
He said he will release it right before he kills himself
>>29839061
>>29839664
i don't have my trax up yet (still learning, works in progress)
> https://soundcloud.com/y2kangel
but shoot me a msg. i can't be having you jumping outta anything bc we gotta make beats !
>>29839778
>[email protected]
i wrote down your email. i may send it to you. im drinking so maybe i'll slip up. i gotta make sure i strip all the id3 tags and shit so it cant be traced to any name or anything like that.
>>29839817
i will anon. i dont think its there, but honestly, i always wish i was asleep so what is the difference with death?
>>29839830
maybe i'll send you a message, but if i do it'll probably before I actually kill myself.
my soundcloud is linked too much with my facebook/twitter/ ect.
but honestly the album isn't too bad.
it could be worse. im proud of it, i think.
its titled "for granted".
i'll post some album art i suppose. hold on
>>29838464
Our music is shit and you won't kill yourself you moron. Artists get famous after death only when they have talent, almost every artist in history have died
I want to hear your music anon
i made a throw away so please send link before you transcend the void
[email protected]
i'll be joining you shortly
If someone gets his album, Please open a thread and share it post void. Let the board hear it.
Put it up on YouTube, I wanna hear.
See you on the other side, man.
>>29839872
thank you.
i had a friend (my only robot friend from r9k) who i treasured a lot, and who really inspired me with his music (he had this innate, magical talent that left me awe-struck and also mad at my own self bc i can never achieve that lvl of greatness) but he hates me lol and we no longer talk :(
all i have left is his music.
please share your music with the world and don't ever leave us.
>>29839896
its not a contest of whether i can prove it or not. im posting here because i wanted to tell someone. i have no desire to prove anything to you.
>>29839911
post your email and you'll hear it before i go.
>>29839933
saved.
>>29839958
maybe i'll post it, im not trying to do some stupid gurella promotion or some shit which is why i didnt want to post it.
>>29839984
no youtube, but i will see you there my friend, only when you're ready.
>>29839991
in time maybe you'll reconnect. but dont dread on the loss. it will get better. im sure of it.
>>29839872
and as i said, here is the album art. cringey as fuck, but w/e.
w8 do you have a soundcloud, op?
>>29840032
yeah. im not very popular but i do.
i've released 1 album on there, for the same girl.
then i have another soundloud with my first LP.
i'd post it but even if i removed the personal information someone can just look up the cache on google and find out. im very serious about ending my own life so im really not looking for someone to fb message my mother or some shit and freak her out and cause her more sadness then she'll already experience.
>>29840029
Can you send it to my emai if I give it to you?
I would really like to give it a listen, too.
[email protected] Would appreciate it, suicidecomposer. Maybe we could talk a bit about your music afterwards, put no pressing.
>>29838464
This reminds me of the first time I made one of these threads
>>29840164
yup. post it and i'll add you.
>>29840230
maybe after the thread ends, i'll send it.
>>29840232
well, if you had to make it more than once, then you werent ready. which is fine, you shouldn't go unless you're ready.
in my case, im very ready.
Send it to [email protected]
>>29840258
Thx suicidecomposer.
What music inspired you to start composing?
I don't know a lot of ambient, in fact, I only listened to the "Selected Works" album by Aphex Twin.
>>29840320
i started writing music several years ago when i fell in love with my first legit girlfriend. about 8 years ago. ive been writing ever since, as a hobby.
music for me has always been made for me to chronologically go back and remember what i was feeling. its like a journal. i can play a song i wrote 5 years ago and remember exactly why and what i was feeling when i wrote it.
>>29840313
added my friend.
>>29838464
op here. just a heads up, the album wont be finished with mastering until monday. and thats assuming the first pass is good. if any changes need to be made, expect it go further into the week. but i have saved every email in a text file and you will receive your suicide album,.
You shouln't do that. But eh. What do I know.
Please be safe anon.
>>29840258
Why does life not excite you?
>>29840452
I know, but its what i need.
>>29840456
life does excite me. theres so much to seize. honestly you can truly do anything you want with life, forget this "you need to be a chad" narrative. if you try hard enough and become skilled enough you really can be whatever you want in this day in age.
its not the lack of exciting features of life that's getting me, its the internal dread and grief i feel on a daily basis.
i am losing a battle with depression every day. if i spend most waking moments upset, and most nights crying, is it not within my personal right to end my own suffering?
uff
Anon, I'm truly sorry I can't help you.
I'm a hopeless alcoholic who's got no business to preach, but. I, selfishly don't want you to die.
That's it.
>>29840514
i have a few cats. im very saddened i'll be leaving them. but theres a few people i will tell right before i go so they know to take care of them. i'll be leaving them enough food for at least a few days. kitty feast <3.
its not selfish to not want to die. if you are in a bad place and want to get better, relish in the fact that you are trying to be better. i have been through many epiphanies and i, personally, never seem to progress. its entirely subjective and i hope my "Tale" doesn't convince you its worth giving up hope.
its not.
im just too far into my own head.
>>29840391
Sounds nice and over eight years you must have become some kind of skillful, as well.
But I actually wanted to know to what music you listen yourself. I'm trying to somehow find a starting point to get into minimal or ambient music.
>>29840439
Alright, I'll be checking my inbox.
>>29840577
listen to jon hopkins, any album but "immunity" spoke the most to me.
oneohtrix point never is amazing.
a winged victory for the sullen is great.
i dont listen to a lot of music which is why soem of my friends say that i'm "good" at making music. i literalyl only listen to my own WIP tracks and basically just NPR otherwise. so i have no reference for genres. but these are a few of the artists i indulge in when i have a group of ppl and its my turn to pick an album.
>>29840258
>in my case, im very ready
Yeah I said that too. I am now "perpetually ready"
>>29840644
when you're actually ready, you'll go.
but if you're not then you're giving yourself a chance to move forward, whether you want to believe it or not.
>>29840618
rich textures, love
thank you for introducing me - immunity was beautiful. going to explore his work + keep him on rotation.
you've probably already heard, but thoughts on schlomo?
https://youtu.be/JkfKYRa0tYY
https://youtu.be/tv8Se8xSMiw
also, some rare nujabes for you:
https://youtu.be/w_aa91sRIlk
>>29840827
Always loved schlomo, and nujabes is amazing.
I'm sure you've heard Bonoobo?
The North Borders (an album of his) was basically the thing keeping my spirits up for a long time.
>>29840644
You're only ready when your hand is ready.
>>29840846
Are you OP?
Nujabes is amazing. Also Uyama hiroto.
op here,
i havent showered in a few days so im gonna hop in there. but if this thread is gone by then, thank you all for the understanding and support. any emails at this point have been noted <3.
>>29840876
yes that reply was OP
>>29840827
excuse the typo lol
>>29840029
>in time maybe you'll reconnect. but dont dread on the loss. it will get better. im sure of it.
thanks. even your words are so kind, despite what we know .. is.
also, the album artwork is perfect - don't change it. resonates ^ infinity
pppppps :D:D!!
https://youtu.be/xB5ceAruYrI
https://youtu.be/JxpmbEATBH0
https://youtu.be/kmpU_73CXxU
https://youtu.be/x2XX3cNW4K0 (cute bro/sis duo!)
https://youtu.be/mP07Oyr7enQ
https://youtu.be/Z26BvHOD_sg
>>29840903
I hope he's doing well.
>>29840029
I do like the artwork, but the font kinda puts me off. Looks too much like love letter writing which would be fine for an R'n'B album. I dunno, I'd pick smth more regular.
>attention whoring normie
>has a bunch of friends and relationships irl
>too emo to handle it
>just leave me alone with my music like kurt cobain!!!
>pussy ass little bitch
>comes on r9k to boast about angsty feelings
>fuck yourself
>>29841099
okay. op, out.
>>29841099
And that's why we here can't have nice things.
Save your negativity for the right people, don't vent at fellow robots who share their creations...
>>29840452
Hey, I don't think cancer anon is dead yet
>>29841218
Neither is this anon, I think.
I Keep the count of the "goodbye fellow board" messages. And as I can't be sure...
>>29838464
If your life happiness depends on other people, then it's not good. But you made your decision and I wish you find peace whatever you will end up doing. It's okay to not kill yourself even if you told us that you would.
Farewell
snail mail to op
