>decide to muster up courage to kill myself
>look up methods online
>cutting wrists is a meme and doesnt work
>bleach is a meme and doesnt work
>height has to be very high and nowhere near me is high enough
>guns are very hard to get ahold of (britbong)
>only option is to hang self but this is apparently one of the worst ways to do it
what am I to do here? how the fuck do I do this?
>>29837504
>cutting wrists is a meme and doesnt work
idk. seems like a few well-placed cuts would do the trick and be a fairly peaceful way to go.
>>29837542
I read that bleeding out is also very painful.
are these sites just trying to scare people not to do it?
>>29837504
>cutting wrists is a meme and doesnt work
Just remember: Down the river, not across the street.
>>29837504
Sleeping tablets and swim in a river. drowning is very peaceful. especially when you're asleep
>>29837554
>very painful
giving blood isn't painful at all besides the little prick(that's what she said)
>>29837504
I could tell you, but then you'd have no excuses, so I won't.
You shouldn't kill yourself, there are too many memes to see in this life.
>>29837599
Yeah, just donate blood at a few different places. Eventually, you'll run dry.
>>29837599
And then it fucking stings like a bitch afterwards, no?
Any way is difficult, you will get an adrenaline dump as you go towards it and not do it. You are designed to stay alive you see.
>>29837658
nah will just collapse.
>>29837504
Why do you want to kill yourself? Because of Brexit?
>>29837671
It's no worse than the bitter sting of life.
What if I told you that if you knew what life actually was, you wouldn't kill yourself? Interested?
P.s I'm also a britbong and I've been going through hell too recently, but I won't kill myself because I see the reason for it happening
>>29837672
I am also afraid of this. a gun seems so ideal, I wish I was american right now.
>>29837681
because I literally can not have a job if I wanted, or even a gf if I wanted, due to mental health issues and this is fine for a while but the novelty wears off fast
Step 1. Find family member with diabetes type 1
Step 2. Acquire needle and fast acting insulin
Step.3. fill that fucking syringe, insert into yourself(the least painful way is in the fat, by the way)
Step 4. Repeat step 3 at least one more time
Step 5. Die of cardiac arrest after your blood/glucose levels drop insanely fast and can't recover
enjoy a fairly painless suicide, good luck on your journey.
inject air into your bloodstream
run your body into a car
Just jump in front of a train for fucks sake
>>29837757
But you get free money because of your mental health issues, right? Maybe you should try out something new, like painting (Bob Ross is awesome), drawing or something physical like running, cycling or working out..
Even gardening or woodworking can be satisfying.
>>29837836
God, isn't that painful?
>CTRL+F
>no helium
>>29837504
Use helium
Just stop breathing.
Wrap your head in duck tape and then quickly handcuff yourself behind your back. It's supposed to be a fairly peaceful way to go! =)
>>29837504
Overdose you fool!
Get some sleeping pills and something that will kill you if the sleeping pills don't do it.
People have been killing themselves by hanging for centuries, it works, its easy. People who say you'll end up alive with brain damage are undoubtedly trying to stop you from killing yourself at all.
>>29837876
Those insulin syringes are literally designed so you don't feel a goddamn thing when you inject it into your belly/back of arm/fattest part of yourself.
Falling into the coma, is, I admit, a fair bit scary because it feels like you're utterly shitfaced and have no control over your body.
But that doesn't last long before you slip into the actual coma and your heart stops while you're under.
It's not painful, just sort of scary and panic inducing(rapid heartbeat is what you want anyway, so that shit pumps through your system faster.)
>>29837910
You're thinking of a straight drop style hang, which breaks the neck.
The conventional, old school type of hanging is far worse. You literally hang there. By your neck. No drop, no sweet releasing snap, you hang and dangle and piss all over yourself during a regular hang.
>>29837902
I'll add to this one.
1. Acquire sleeping pills
2. Acquire gorilla tape and a thick plastic bag
3. eat pills. just enough to lull you into sleep.
4. Plastic bag over head, tape that shit around your neck to secure it and make sure you can't breath out of it.
5. Go to sleep, don't wake up.(as a bonus, cuff or secure yourself to something so you don't have a chance at clawing the bag open.)
Anon bleeding out is literally the best thing to kill yourself, and it doesn't even hurt a bit if you do it right.
First put yourself in a bath on body temperature to get yourself all comfortable. Then get a needle or a tiny and sharp knife to incise into any superficial vein opposite your elbow (the soft skin), preferably your Basilic and/or Cephalic vein. The pain will be on par with donating blood; ie. you don't feel shit aside some internal itch. As you lose blood you'll feel dizzy and slowly get more and more sleepy while losing control over your body. Everything will just slip away, essentially the same as if you went to sleep. Only thing here is that in best case you go to sleep forever.
For much better results you can also cut into the Saphenous vein at your knee, but I doubt someone who goes here has the percision required without fucking things up somehow.
Nice dreams and good luck anon!
>>29837554
>>29837599
It's not painful in the sense that getting shot or stabbed would be. You ever get dehydrated? It would be something like that. Intense feelings of weakness, nausea, dizziness, etc.
>>29837757
>>29837725 here. Jesus christ man, those are such unbelievably petty things to kill yourself over. At least if you were actually physically suffering like fucking hell (like I am) I could understand it.
Please, listen to me when I say you're making a massive mistake. I'll just go ahead and tell you what the deal is. I don't believe in any religion, but I can tell you with almost absolute certainty, beyond even faith, that God is real. Godliness is the better word for it. I'm 25 and it took me years to reach this conclusion.
Basically, the fact you even exist is because godliness does. Life is a necessity. Death isn't real, your consciousness is immortal. Godliness fragmented himself into trillions and trillions of entities since full expression of his limitless power would naturally involve cutting himself off from his true form, i.e. forgetting himself. The meaning of life is the process of maturing of love and connection (both interchangeable). We're the babies of the universe. We're near the very beginning of this process, hence why we've forgotten that godliness even exists. We're in the near-stage of remembering it.
Any time you've felt really happy, be it from feeling love for someone, or feeling awe from looking up at the stars or listening to some incredible music, you raised your awareness closer to god; into the realm of magic. As your awareness increases, so does your connection to the universe. You feel it. But this is almost instantly forgotten once the "feeling" fades away.
I don't suggest long-term drug use, but get some MDMA (test it first) and just fucking pop it then reflect on what I've just told you. It's not just chemicals, it takes you to another realm of reality. What you think life is, is illogical and full of fundamental flaws. Godliness is logical and is knowable through high levels of love/happiness.
>>29837504
Carbon monoxide is the least painful method from what I've heard of. Don't tell me you can't borrow a car for a couple hours.
>>29837910
>People who say you'll end up alive with brain damage are undoubtedly trying to stop you from killing yourself at all.
don't you remember that brony kid who tried to hang himself and got brain damage
>>29838082
Amen brother!
oregano commento
OP here, to all saying about sleeping pills, where do I get those? seems like a good option but all the doctor gives me is fucking melatonin
>>29837757
>mental health issues
So you have the privilege of getting autsimbux, and you're complaining? Fuck off. Get a damn hobby.
how painful is a paracetamol overdose?
>>29838125
>being stupid enough to not be able to kill yourself
www.lostallhope.com
drop hanging, neck on traintracks or exit bag are all relatively painlessapparently.
Godspeed
>>29838082
You can go right over a cliff. OP here wants some tips on how to do it and not some normalfag whiteknighting holier-than-thou bullshit. Please go drown in the nearest river you psychotic fuck.
>>29838125
Shut up and see a fucking psychiatrist. Otherwise you'd have already done it by now.
>I can't take this suffering I wanna dieeee.
>I'm too scared of suffering before I die to end le suffering! !
Retarded.
>>29838082
I think I legitimately found something more idiotic than Christianity my man
>Godliness is logical and is knowable through high levels of love/happiness.
You realize I can put anything there in place of "godliness" and it would make just as much sense right?
Pepe is logical and is knowable through high levels of love/happiness.
Meme magic is logical and is knowable through high levels of love/happiness.
>>29838082
>I can tell you with almost absolute certainty, beyond even faith, that God is real
Stopped reading
OP kill youself with helium, it's a painless way to die
>>29837504
Suicide is a meme. Dont take it seriously when people here talk about killing themselves. Its literally a meme.
Unless you are 4'2", look worse than eggman, have a 2 inch dick and 70 IQ there is no point in killing yourself, especially when you live in a Western first world country. You live better than kings 200 years ago used to live. Life isnt as bad as you think it is. Even if you hate your life its worth it to stay alive just to see the inevitable massive technological advances humanity will see in the next couple of decades.
Dont do it man.
>>29838221
See? Us fedora-tippers know our shit.
>>29838082
Why the fuck do the Christfags come out the woodwork every time someone asks the best, least painful way to off themselves?
It's pretty obvious that God doesn't exist, but even if he did, do you idiots think that you could convert a suicidal robot?
>>29838125
Pharmacy should have them for sale. Lots of people use them to get regular sleep.
>>29837504
its called a rope dumbass. you have trees there right?
>>29838209
>You realize I can put anything there in place of "godliness" and it would make just as much sense right?
Godliness is the unknown, since we are incapable of knowing him in our current levels of awareness. However, his essence penetrates through all layers of the universe: love. Love isn't the romanticised thing you think it is. It's basically a strong version of "liking" something, except it elevates your awareness and literally changes your perception of reality and you are able to contemplate the universe on the ultimate level. You know love is the greatest thing possible because it exists outside of all rational thought, i.e. in the intuition.
Listen to this song to give you an example of what I'm talking about, because you will understand all of this far better outside of extremely low-level r9k-tier consciousness which literally blinds you from the truth: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNDv7kjF8VY
ANYTHING that "improves your mood" is a mode of connecting closer to godliness
>>29837542
I hear doing it in the bathtub would make it easier.
>>29837504
Sorry you want to kill yourself anon, maybe this delay in finding a method will keep you alive, anyways, are there any train tracks nearby?
>>29838082
Where is the anti-Buddhist when you need him.
Someone send out the signal.
>>29838382
yeah there is, but the trains seem to be really slow-moving ones.
>>29837504
>how the fuck do I do this?
Homemade bomb. No joking, explosives are fastest and less painful way to die. But you must be sure that bomb is powerful enough to blow your brains out. One guy in my city killed himself this way, his body pieces were all over fucking park and the bomb was homemade. You can also do this in the middle of sea on the boat, so nobody will be able to collect all your parts. Good luck.
>>29838125
Do not kill yourself with DPH.
If you even underdose a bit, you are going to have the worst experience of your fucking life.
DPH is a deliriant. That means you will have schizophrenia for up to 12 fucking hours.
>>29838380
I think that OP is the wrong one considering suicide here, if you catch my drift.
>travel to very tall building
>sit with back facing the edge
>take a bunch of sleeping pills
>wait
means you wont have to deal with the fall, and seriously just get a train to a tower or something
take too much tylenol. other pain killers too bc everything will hurt for a while.
or the good old cheese wire noose hands glued to head and jump off a building, only has to be a few stories tall to work
>>29837894
>doesn't know the companies who produce these started adding air in these so people would stop using them to kill themselves.
>>29837504
Steal a cop's gun and do it. What do you care if they shoot you for trying you want to die anyway.
Go to chemical supply company
acquire liquid nitrogen
drink it down then throw yourself off a building so you shatter like Wesley Snipes in Demolition Man.
>>29837504
Take up camping as a "hobby", then gas yourself in a tent with carbon monoxide.
>>29838541
I knew that but isn't there a way to get a tank without oxygen?
>>29838592
he'd probably get arrested, no way to get it out of the holster without being the one wearing it.
running at a cop with a knife? maybe.
Why do all you fags want a painless death? If the fear of pain gets to you then you're really just a wimp dicked faggoy who doesnt want to actually die.
I imagine if you stoped being a faggot your life would improve instantly (atleast your outlook) or youd grow balls and not worry about the pain.
>>29837504
friend, go to the country and go for a round of clay pidgeon shooting, but be thr clay pidgeon
>>29838592
>steal a cop's gun
Sure senpai.
Here's a better way. Call the police, tell them there's been a murder at your address and you're sure the killer is still there. Make sure to repeat several times he has a gun.
Now here's the important part. Make sure the entire goddamn house is pitch fucking black. Preferably at night. Hold a vaguely shaped gun object(or an unloaded firearm if you have one) and AIM IT AT THEM NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES THEY TELL YOU TO PUT IT DOWN. They will fire upon you and you will die.
>>29837504
you could slowly dehydrate yourself. it sucks at first, than you forget, than it's kind of a euphoric feeling. it also gives you time to really think about what you're doing, and maybe come to some realization that you really don't want to die or something. that's how I stopped myself from doing the deed. than I got a job, smoked alot of pot, and my life got a little better. after you go through some really rough shit, and you are at the end, that edge, being so close to death it makes you realize things. my things might be different than yours, but maybe you'll come out stronger and better.
>>29838627
Isn't there some sort of dopamine rush before dying? I worry that it will slow down time to reflect on things. Might as well not be in pain while this happens, because you might perceive it as hell.
>>29838627
Because many of us are already in pain, there's no reason for it to continue longer than necessary. The pain is what causes the fuckups. We don't want to fuck up and be even worse off.
Psychologists have interviewed people who have survived jumps from the golden gate bridge. Very very few survive, but those that do all say that the moment they jumped, they immediately felt intense, burning despair as motivation to live flooded them and they saw their jump as the biggest mistake of their life. Literally every survivor without exception.
>>29838658
You understand what dopamine is right?
The same hormone released during sex.
No the only hormone being released at death would be cortisol. Your going to be scarred as shit unless you picked something quick or asphixia.
>>29838692
Proof that I'm (>>29838082) right. Once you do it, you immediately realise what you've done. If you're unlucky enough to die from it, you'll go to a higher realm, remember things about the universe and realise you fucked up, before being reincarnated not long after.
youre probably some underage shit and just looking for attention
but if you arent
just dedicate your life to something else, start a new life instead.
you can enlist in the military, go overseas and start a new life , or work for some charity organization helping people who need help after disasters
>>29838242
not necessarily true
some people like myself are just born into homes with parents who do not love them, with severe mental problems, and suffering from things like severe depression where you are physically incapable of being happy no matter what
but im not a fucking idiot, so id never do something like that, i just got myself on anti depressants and mooch off the government neet bux for eternity
>>29838792
That's not proof, it's anecdotal evidence. You sound like a hippy retard. Smoke another one Rainbow.
>>29838855
Hell it isn't even anecdotal evidence, all it says is that the person regretted jumping.
>>29838082
fuck off normie
origin
>>29838792
Don't quote me for your religious nonsense.
The point is that for most people considering suicide, their depression has totally ruined their ability to logically figure out how to fix their life and once that motivation to live comes back they can figure out how. Suicide attempts that aren't instantaneous are actually extremely agonizing both physically and psychologically and if OP attempts suicide he will most likely be inflicting needless suffering on himself.
When you're that depressed and miserable, you are actually mentally sick (like in a real way not a /pol/ way) and lose the ability to help yourself. OP actually needs professional, external guidance and support. I'm not saying don't kill yourself because of your family or any of that normie shit, I'm saying that you're already miserable and you don't deserve to suffer even further. If you make it through this, you will have an appreciation of your life that the normies could never know.
>>29838855
>>29838879
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcSUs9iZv-g
100% of 1% of golden gate bridge survivors who wanted to die so bad that they made a very serious attempt regretted it instantly. Hmmm...
>>29838960
yeah, they probably thought "wow i should have picked a more effective method"
>>29838951
I don't have depression and even I think that death is better than living. It literally solves all of your problems.
>>29838960
Retard, I said that it meant that they regretted it. I said that it DIDN'T prove some retarded religious nonsense that is a complete non sequitur.
OP here and thanks for all the replies. I think ill choose bleeding out as it was my original choice, ill probably drink a bit beforehand and cut down my arm.. is this a good idea?
Would tell you not to do it than I saw you said you are from UK so you must be a yellowed teeth monster behind the screen, I only really care about QTS life's honestly and wouldn't feel better if some disgusting mutant would be grateful.
Anyway, I recommend hypothermia, find a cold place, get drunk, preferably get lost in a snow forrest in the mountains on purpouse, you will die slow but you won't feel much shit and you will even get some trippy hallucinations in the terminal stage.
Highly recommend this one, do some quick research on it and see if you like how it sounds
>>29839100
when you going out? we can make a pact if u want famalammy method is better though (tent carbon monoxide)
>>29837504
>le cry for le help
You're not fooling me. You're free to bait these retards, though.
>>29839078
How's it irrelevant? You're just narrow-minded and unable to think outside the box of your own limited beliefs.
>>29839100
>is this a good idea?
Some sources say that it's a comfy way to die and others say that it's very unpleasant.
>>29839128
He won't do shit ffs , he is some 20 yo basement dweller who can't even make a sandwich he won't ever gather the strength or the determination to fuck off already.
>>29837578
>drowning is very peaceful
I'd beat the shit out of you, you fucking retard. What the fuck do you have to gain out of bullshiting a depressed guy? Fucking mongoloid.
>>29839128
I dunno, a pact sounds too odd for me, sorry.
>>29839152
>cry for help on an anonymous imageboard
you caught me.
>>29837681
No, because life is an accumulation of negative utility. Its a senseless cycle of need fulfillment and I am giving it 1 star out of 10. Its a fucking meme
How viable is it to kill yourself via alcohol poisoning? Like say you bought 10 bottles of the strongest liquor you can buy and just start drinking as quick as you can?
>>29839208
fair enough mang. gl whatever you decide to do
>>29838082
Oh fucking shit, here we go again!
>>29839235
It should work. I knew a kid that drank himself to death on his 21st birthday.
He played the drinking game wrong apparently.
Smoke a joint and cut yourself in a bathtub
>>29839155
Your argument is L I T E R A L L Y
>"They regretted jumping when they realized that they were going to die, therefore there is some sort of supernatural force present"
My god, I think Scientologists have more brain cells to rub together than you do!
>>29839217
Fucking jump on your head from a building you fucking sperg, I can figure from the way you make your phrases how cringey you are.
Go learn to make something of yourself instead of procrastinating thinking of suicide,gets you nowhere because you will NEVER be able to do it because you didn't make a meaningful decision in your entire life.
You just spend hours upon hours on suicide forums and asking epeoeple here to tell you shit you already knew, yet you will never go ahead and do it.
Only hours upon hours of time forever wasted that you could have been used to better yourself.
If you were sure about it and actually had real problems you would have jumped from a building already.
Highly recomend, for your own good to stop with this shit and so something productive
>>29839235
You'll have to be pretty isolated. If you pass out in a pool of your own vomit in public, someone will call an ambulance and then you'll feel like shit for a few days afterwards.
t. poisoned drinking a bottle of 151
>>29839330
>better yourself
Take him with you op, when you finally settle for blowing yourself up.
OP, I got cured from my depression after I took truffels in Amsterdam.
Try them. If you want we'll go with a group of robro's. What do you have to lose? =)
>>29838082
>hurr god is real guys, you just have to smoke these magic drugs
>full expression of his limitless power would naturally involve cutting himself off from his true form, i.e. forgetting himself
sounds pretty retarded and useless to me
STOP GIVING THIS FUCKING 12 YO ATTENTION FOR FUCKS SAKE.
>>29839330
If he can't make a meaningful decision then how is he any more able to better himself than he is to commit suicide?
Get strong rope, tie one end on furniture feet near window or railing, tie up your neck and jump off.
>>29838144
Autism bux are a meme. I know a guy with severe bipolar and another guy with schizophrenia and they are both wageslaving.
>>29838242
Life is the real meme
>hey lets shit out this bundle of needs so we can give it the BEST GIFT EVAR!!!!!!
>>29839566
i know someone getting autism bux for anxiety. i kid you not. he also has his medical marijuana card for anxiety.
>>29838380
I thought that song was lame as fuck senpai. You are literally retarded. This is just some stoner trance music.
>>29838627
I mostly just want a death where its literally impossible to resuscitate me. But if modern medicine keeps it up we'll all be forced to live for over a century and they'll be able to undo just about anything.
It's called Argon gas. Make a space bag.
>>29838692
Yeah, instinct is a thing. More at 11
>>29838082
It's time to lay off the drugs anon. You're spouting bullshit again.
>>29838614
Yes, there's always a way.
>>29838792
Whatever you say Swami
>>29838951
>implying depression is a thing
No anon. Being negative is not a disease. Psychiatry is scientifically bereft.
If I would feel the need to suicide I would do it in a epic unheard way. I need to make a list of cool ways to die, and I'm starting right now.
Cover the exhaust pipe and sit in your car with the engine running
Shitpost on 4chan as you fade into the darkness
>>29838960
>buzzfeed
>guy didn't even sustain brain-damage, crippling injury or even a noticeable infirmity
Yes, this looks like some tip-top journalism to me
>>29838082
>god is real cuz i said so
Top logic
>>29838082
Hahah holy shit I had the same train of thought when I was on MDMA and keta. Small world I guess.
>>29839775
Covering the exhaust? What does that do?
I heard that modern cars don't really produce that much CO nowadays. Wouldn't you want the exhaust going to the inside of the vehicle?
>>29839775
Imagine the last comment you see is a "bye Faggot kill urslf", then, you remain posting shit and you think you should have died and this method is not working.
So you get out of your car, and post that the thing didn't work. You get depressed cause you you failed miserably during attempt. You begin taking pills and you manage to get addicted to them. You're fired from work and half your family dies on a traffic accident. Since you can't no longer pay the rent, you become homeless. Of course, medication for your mental problems now seems as a secondary issue.
BUT, things will get better. Even though you smell as a dead dog, there's this person who comes every morning and to you, and holy shit, he turns to be a multimillionarie. He donates to you big part of his heritage, you become sane again and even you get a hair transplant for your baldness. You invest in stock market and, because you know a lot of rich friends, you go to fancy parties and fuck fancy chicks.
And then you start again posting on 4chan. I tired writing this shit.
>>29839839
Are you seriously implying they just made it up?
>>29840064
I don't even know what you are trying to communicate here
>>29840071
No, just that they cherry picked the one guy who became a living "miracle" to speak on the behalf of all the jumpers. This guy is obviously going to double-down on his life addiction having come out of THE meme suicide attempt essentially unscathed and he's probably widely regarded as some sort of minor religious phenomenon, which has likely gone to his head. I'm certain at least one of the 19 survivors is at the very least ambivalent about being thrown back into the grinder.
>>29837504
Go clay pigeon shooting,, they'll rent you a shot gun, just turn it on yourself.
>plebs don't know to buy MIG welding Argon.
NO OXYGEN. Yes, I am certain. That would defeat the purpose of the inert gas needed for tungsten MIG arc.
Nitrogen would probably work as well.
>>29840064
nigga what the fuck
>bolx
>>29841239
>forgot to say
You can buy this pretty much anywhere that sells tools.
>>29838541
>read a few descriptions
>find one that is 99.9% helium
wew that was so hard
>>29841308
>99.9% helium
>actually risking not dying by not getting 100% helium
You gotta do it right
>>29841239
Do they come with a regulator? Bonus question: do you vent it directly into an enclosed space or rig up a mask system?
B-BUT IT SOUNDS PAINFUL
Jesus fucking christ none of you actually want to fucking do it shut the fuck up AAAAA
>>29837542
Don't cut your wrists. Even if you do it right it takes too much time and it hurts like hell. And frankly, you need some balls to cut yourself deep enough, and considering you're contemplating suicide, you probably don't have any. Hanging, on the other hand, is really quick, especially if you manage to snap your neck.
>>29837836
Medfag reporting. Hypoglycemic shock actually would be relatively pain free. You'd slip into a coma and die.
>>29838384
He's busy eating kielbasy
>>29837504
Buy heroin/opiates from on the deepweb
>>29837504
Just hang your self from a bridge really fast. The fall will kill you but the rope will decapitate you regardless. Just tie a good not.
>>29837902
Does he have a cunt? If not be a man.
Dude, how can you kill yourself when you live in a world where Jesus AND Muhammed were born at the same time? Two people that have influenced the entire world (besides asia lul).
we all have three dads and a mother, get it?
>>29842928
My goal is to be reborn as an asian or indian person, pray to god. I will blast black culture shit there all day.
>>29837504
The only real sure-fire way to do it is to jump off a skyscraper onto pavement. If you get anywhere near terminal velocity, you're fucking dead. A cliff might work as well, although you risk smacking into the cliffside and breaking bones if it isn't a completely sheer drop.
