>>29835340
i could be more functional but i don't think i could be happy. i tried many time before and never felt any different so there's not much of a point in trying.

Is invited out regularly, can't be arsed to go.
Has plenty of time to revise and learn, can't be arsed to do so.
Fairly employable for shit min wage jobs, can't be arsed to apply.

Bonus:
Has hobbies, can't be arsed to perfect them.

>>29835450
So are you just lazy? What do you do with your time?

>>29835340
I self-sabotage in so many ways that listing them would probably make me depressed and stop the one productive thing I'm set on doing today, sorry OP.

I will say that I have no friends and it's all my fault I lost the ones I had and haven't made new ones.

>>29835613
That's ok anon, I hope you can continue your productivity

>purposely went into academic probation so I can't register for courses
>destroyed all evidence of apprenticeship hours
>burned all bridges with old friends
>destroy all possessions regularly
>give any money I receive away, sometimes burn it
>breathe toxic gases and expose myself to carcinogens regularly
>dress like a bum and have poor hygiene

>>29835907
>sometimes burn it
Where do you burn it? Why do you burn it? Are you a NEET?

>>29835932
yes, I burn stuff in an old sink in the backyard

>>29835932
sry, I get money by abusing credit and dead relatives

>destroyed credit score

>>29835956
How much have you burned? If you keep track

>>29836089
about 3.50 don't want governmentfags knocking on my door

>>29836233
fair enough, carry on originally

>>29835340
My female friend tried to kiss me when we were in highschool. I had to reject her because I didn't think I was good enough for her. We haven't talked since.
I still don't understand why she did it, she was ten leagues above me.

>>29836315
Damn anon, I understand that. Shame you never talked to her about it

>>29835340
What's your skype OP? Wanna talk?

>>29837259
Sorry anon, I don't use skype or kik or any sort of social media really. Mainly because I prefer talking to people at certain events or in certain situations when a conversation topic is obvious. I can't really come up with good topics on the fly, especially if I don't know a person

>self-sabotages

Not anymore. I've embraced my need for solitude, and have come to peace with who I am and my rejection of most things that normies desire.

Inner peace is the best. =) dxm helped let me see the way.

Was born shitty out of the gate. Literally no hope.

>dad in jail a lot
>when dad not in jail, beating mom and getting drunk
>chased out of house numerous times with loaded weapons, often firing a few rounds into the air or at the ground near our fleeing ass selves
>when mom gets beat, try to intervene on her behalf even though I'm like 3-5 during the first process
>get shit kicked out of me for trying to help
>get shit kicked out of me for no reason at all
>get shit kicked out of me at school, no friends, no nothing
>only people who have anything to do with me is drunkbeat dad who can't hold a job and mom who is gone working all the time at shitty jobs because her big strong marine husband never changed
>shit beat out of me at school, at home, pretty much anywhere I went and not for lack of trying, always fighting some kid and his goddamn brothers because apparently the only only child in that shitty town
>isolate self, withdraw completely from anything remotely social
>don't dare bring anyone home lest they see drunk dad beating mom and me trying helplessly to do anything about it
>no friends at any point in life
>only people in life now are broken down disabled parents whose years of bullshit finally caught up with them
>sabotaged my one and only job by calling every single night at least every hour for retarded reasons and pissing off the managers
>longtime NEET, the only people I share more than a grunt of acknowledgement with are these same people who've been crushing my soul and sabotaging my life for the entirety of it
>have no prospects, the best I can hope for in the next ten years is prison or death
>haven't felt like a person ever, just some object
>one time cut open my stomach because I wanted to find out if I was a real person or not
>still not sure, don't even think of myself as anything other than actual robot because surely parents wouldn't treat a dog this way, let alone their flesh and blood

>>29837522
Sounds like shit, anon. Have you tried going to therapy or pursuing some sort of mental help?

>>29837522
>longtime NEET, the only people I share more than a grunt of acknowledgement with are these same people who've been crushing my soul and sabotaging my life for the entirety of it
abusive, shitty families are the worst because they suck you back in with sabotage and more abuse if you even pull together the strength to try to get away in the first place.

>>29838247

Went to therapy. I depressed the therapist so much she offhanded me to a psychiatrist. Have my first meeting/intake or whatever in a few days. I don't even know what the fuck this guy is even supposed to do for me aside from maybe give me some meds which won't solve the root of the goddamn problem. But whatever, i'll listen to what they say.

>>29838315

That they are. Anytime I socked a bit of cash away from the job to move out of here and go literally anywhere far from them 'oh the car broke down gif money plz oh this broke that broke i need glasses ur dad needs glasses oh no sorry you gotta pay rent now 3/4 of your check oh and we'll need gas money too ahahahahaha you work for free why don't you have any money son?'

I want to kill everyone in this house, burn it down, then off myself. Not sure how much longer I can take it. Sorry for blogposting.

>>29838414
>I depressed the therapist so much she offhanded me to a psychiatrist
Damn. I agree that your issue doesn't seem like one that can be resolved using medicine, and that's a concern you should share if medicine is offered to you. It sounds like you just need a person to talk to and a chance to get out

>Sorry for blogposting.
While this is just sabotage as opposed "self-sabotage", I've got no problem with it. Do you still work? What's your job?