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>visit cousin and her family last August
>she's 17, two and a half years younger than me
>kind of grew up knowing her, but normally only see her once every 2 or so years
>start hanging out with her
>she's incredible
>fall in love with her, feel ashamed
>go home
>continue to talk over Facebook that Fall
>fast forward to October
>get drunk and tell her how I feel about her
>she's weirded out a little but handles it well, tells me not to worry about it, just try to forget about it
>next morning we laugh it off as the alcohol talking
>it wasn't the alcohol talking
>continue talking lots the following year
>fast forward to now
>visiting her again
>managed to convince myself my crush on her was just a meme
>start hanging out with her in person again
>it's not a fucking meme, I love her
>do my best not to tell her, but feel like I'm being torn apart inside
>2 weeks into visit, have breakdown and tell her
>she handles it well again, basically says she's here for me but says I should see a therapist
>she seems to be avoiding me a bit more the past few days
>regret everything, just want to be friends with her

How do I fucking fix this, I'm scared I ruined our relationship as friends and cousins.