I've just called off work for the third time in a row. It's amazing they haven't fired me yet with how much I've done this in the past. I fucking hate myself for being so useless and unreliable and irresponsible.
I feel like a liar when I feel so much better after calling off, minus the crushing shame, because all I want to do is lock myself in my room and not directly deal with people at all. I feel ill with anxiety at embarrassing myself constantly as I do every day at work, and it makes my existing stomach illness worsen, but it's still mild enough that I could most likely work in spite of it even at this job where I have to stand at a register constantly. I feel like I just use this as a cover for my anxiety, because "anxiety" would be incredibly embarrassing to explain--I don't have any real problems, I feel like it's just being too lazy and weak to deal with people and to deal with being an incompetent idiot at my job.
I want to just be dead, I don't want to continue to suffer with my hopeless and frustrating ineffectuality towards changing.
>>29830292
whats the OST from?
>>29830292
Cuck-a-doodle wagecuck
>>29830292
If it makes you feel any better, I'd fire you
>>29830292
Then die
All you need is a rope and a stick op
This world will only get worse from here
>>29830983
NHK ni Youkoso / Welcome to the NHK
>>29831050
thanks, cheers mate
Why not try to find a job elsewhere where you don't have to interact with so many people? I feel ya tho m8
>>29831006
My mom says she'd fire me, too. I wouldn't even hire me to begin with.
>>29830983
This soundtrack is by far the best to lay around and feel intense self-loathing/loneliness/boredom to.
>>29831009
For one, death by hanging seems very painful, but also it's not even possible for me to care about the most important things to me anymore. If I can't care about my very reasons for living, I can't seem to care enough to earnestly go about dying, either. I keep thinking of buying a gun, but then I've been thinking for a year of buying new music equipment but I just have hardly researched at all.
>>29831174
Bizarrely it's like I'm such a fucking lazy, passive fuck that I can't even take the initiative to quit and I'm just waiting for them to fire me or something. I don't want to quit and try to put up with a different job, but I also hate working the job I have now, so I'm stuck.
>>29831441
That's understandable. I'm in a similar situation...almost kinda indifferent though. I guess just wait till you're fired then try to find another direction to head in. Maybe find some new hobbies but eh that takes energy and motivation. Are you a Collegr student?
>>29831764
I already have a lot of hobbies that I'm interested in, I just can't care enough anymore and I'm always too tired to do them.
>Are you a college student?
Yes.
