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>go to see new mental health support >have to take public
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>go to see new mental health support
>have to take public transport
>constantly reminded that everyone is taller and more attractive than me
>see an attractive girl
>yell in my head to remind myself that nobody has ever been attracted to me
>screaming inside to jump in front of every car or onto the train tracks
>make it to mental health building
>my new case manager is some young, attractive girl who's, of course, taller than me
>talking to psychiatrist
>mentions my face scars and lies about how they'll heal up and be barely visible
>talks about bulimia and says "but what about your nice, white teeth
>become instantly angry at her blatant lies (my teeth are small, yellow and my mouth is fucked up so I can't smile properly)
>leave building
>have to resist smashing my head into walls
>people are still taller and more attractive than me
>cars and trains are still as enticing as ever
>still screaming at myself under my breath
I never asked for this...

Please just feel with me
>>
>need ! mental health help
>can't leave house because of reasons you said

Welp guess I'm in this for the long ride.
>>
>>29826802
I probably would have never gotten help if I didn't have an episode and ended up getting rushed to hospital then involuntarily put in the ward.
>>
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I'M TIRED OF BEING UGLY

I WANT TO BE ABLE TO LEAVE MY HOUSE WITHOUT WANTING TO DIE

I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS
>>
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>>29826771
I've been told by lots of folks that I'm handsome and have had many people flirt with me. Yet I see myself as disgusting due to things I've seen/done, and the scars that carry. I grew up until my 20's trying to sculpt myself into the most interesting, in trudging person I could. Went to a lot of combat courses and went into the marines to Gail a sense of brotherhood and service, and invaluable lessons.
I have all my arms and legs, but there's shit down there that I test myself every night if it was worth surviving.
Haven't had a good relationship in years, and those who Get close to me reject me for who I am.
Only real thing i got gojng is saving up so I can go back to the sandbox and keep a promise I made.
Oh, the things war will do.
>>
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>>29827688
Sorry for grammar fuck ups, I'm a bit bubbly. Also good dubs, me.
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