>been avoiding giving into the "i'm depressed" mindset because i haven't been diagnosed
>slowly begin to realize how hard it is for me to socialize, and how it came naturally to other people
>i literally had to teach myself how to act human as a kid out of sheer will to have friends
>give up at around 17-18 years old
I'm 20 now and I just don't know what to do. I'm so incredibly lonely. I just feel defeated and don't know where to turn. Everyone around me is enjoying life and I'm just walking though waiting for enjoyment to kick in. I lost all drive to get a girlfriend shortly after I stopped trying to make friends.
I have insurance for another year under my parents, so I want to find out if maybe there's something wrong with me before then. Should I go see the family doctor? A therapist? I'd like to skip to someone who can actually test me because I still have a deductible and co-pays are pretty high.
>>29816393
There is nothing medically wrong with you. It gets harder. Good luck.
>>29816541
please don't say that. there has to be a reason i'm like this. is there a drug i can take that will make me less like a robot? i just don't understand why this is so hard for me. i can't even make eye contact with someone without feeling like they see right through me.
>>29816756
You should go see a doctor if you can. As should I, but I won't because I don't have the guts.
>>29816756
Get some anxiety drugs.
>>29816393
I've experienced the entire spectrum of loneliness family. People with friendships/cool millennal experiences put work into it. If you're passive, lazy or easily discouraged then friendship isn't for you. My friend is the source of my anxiety because she always wants to hang out or come over and I'm too lazy to put on clothes or do things after work. I really thought I wanted friends before her, though.
>>29817071
I'm pretty sure half his problem is that it's a lot of effort, especially if you have anxiety. But he's given up because the reward isn't worth the effort. Not because the effort is too great, but the reward too little. I've been very lonely since I was small and I've dealt, most of my hobbies are on my own. Being rejected hurts far worse than loneliness.
>>29817071
>>29817451
i just don't understand what i'm doing wrong. it feels like there was a memo that i missed as a kid that told everyone what to do, how to act.
god i am so shit at explaining this. i tried to reach out to my older brother one time about this and he just thought i was insane/pathetic.
i'm just gonna schedule an appointment for my family doctor, maybe get a referral if he thinks something is wrong with me. and if not, well i don't know.
thanks
>>29817668
>it feels like there was a memo that i missed as a kid that told everyone what to do, how to act
I know that feel too. It's not natural for me. Also, I'm saving that pic. It's literally me. Red hair and all. Starting to think it actually is me. Aidan is deader than a dead dog.
Nothing is wrong with you m8. I went through the same struggle too until I started talking about shit I actually valued in a person.
People fucking suck until you ask them questions that make them suck less. And maintain eye contact. Force it. Takes practice. To help recover from the effort of forcing eye contact, I break it when i laugh. Smile a lot and at an organic speed. Shit is contagious and a slower speed makes it seem more meaningful. Try reading a social psychology book for more information on how humans work
