Is being a normie worth it?

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Hey /r9k. I ask this question a lot to myself. Is it worth the effort to integrate if you don't foresee yourself having a partner once more, and don't care much for money? I could get into a real trade job in a month or two if I wanted to, but i don't foresee that helping. I have anxiety , but if I really wanted it, I could drink less coffee , meditate, excercise, not mess with any alcohol. I could get it under control within a year. No doubt, I would just need to really want it. I could get fitter sharper make good money, but I don't feel that would help with why I don't want to go out. I either like someone not at all or a good bit, and I don't feel I have a chance with any people I really want. If that's the case I'm better off not going into society. As I don't fit in with most people even though I can get along with them, and I don't want to fuck sluts, I wanna be with a girl I like eventually. When I was forcing myself to get things done, it just felt bad. I feel like I came far to even be here, and I am trying to find a reason to care enough to support myself. I am so resigned to things though, distance and resentful of my senpai, and removed from my friends. I don't really see why not to exist the easiest way possible, and just try to make it up by using my head and heart to help people who are fellow travelers.