>miss alarm and wake up late.
>miss finalexam in my class, spent $1000 on the class and wasted it all
>figure I would drive to campus and figure the situation out with my professor
>car won't start
>get an uber to pick me up
>show up, I'm too late. Professor is out for the day
>feel rumbling in my tummy, head back home. anxious and stressed as fuck
>family cat threw up on my bed
>fuck it i dont have time to clean it up, head to the bathroom because I have to take a poop
>accidentally use my sister's turd tongs instead of mine
>figure day can't get any worse, so I wash up and head to my room to play league and sulk for the day
>league account is banned for calling people niggers too much
>fuck me. fuck me so hard.
>tell my mom to clean up the cat's throw up
>we get in a heated argument
>she tells me to "get a fucking job and start helping out around here"
>slam my door on her
>dad comes home and won't even talk to me
>browse /r9k/
So guys, what's the worst day of your life (so far)?
turd tongs...?
>>29797566
Same question, this needs an explanation
>>29797566
Well that's what we call them, you probably call yours fecal tongs
>>29797566
>>29797597
>they don't know how to use the three shells
>>29797762
Never taken tongs anywhere near the bathroom OP? Can you tell us its function and also why it matters that you and your other family members use different utensils?
>>29797762
>fecal tongs
Who even needs to use that shit?
>>29797762
what is a fecal tong? this better be a meme thread
What the fuck are turd tongs
The fuck are you on about nigga
>>29797566
Some houses have older plumbing.
Apperently people collect these things?
>>29798276
Also this is the only thing I can find about fecal tongs. I think we've been memed.
hahahaha fuckin' league players. be glad you got banned so now you can play games that are not pay 2 win, where the meta is not dictated by the developer, and where the art style isn't a neon-anime abortion
>>29798388
It's not pay to play
>>29797825
Helps scoop out extra poo and break it up so it doesn't clog plubming
>>29799204
Tfw this is not a joke
>>29797825
you use them to umm spread the butthole so the ppoo passes more easily
didnt' your dad ever tong you?
>tfw used the sisters turd tongs
>itt anons get memed
>>29797804
Good one before I go to sleep anon
>>29799267
It's not.
>tfw take painkillers for chronic condition
>tfw get severe constipation
>you've seen that guro comic where the guy has turds like rocks? like that, seriously
>when i get a shit pushed out, it's huge and hard
>ask doc what do?
>doc is from asia
>"use tongs to break up the turds"
>gave me some moonspeak brand to buy (fake moonspeak, it was korean)
>your basic metal tongs with kind of a sharper bit on the grasping ends
>can now break up my massive turds into golf-ball-sized chunks my toilet can handle
Sounds stupid, and it's gross as fuck to do, but it works.
>at least whatever makes my shit get so hard tends to kill some of the smell
So...I dunno. Next time I have a bowel movement, I'll try and see if I can take some pics of the tongs in action.
