I have a question that my psychiatrist can't answer. I want to see if you guys experience anything similar. Here is some background info:
>only diagnosis is schizoaffective disorder
>have auditory hallucinations with the VERY rare daylight hallucination (visual)
>have a history of sleep paralysis
>insomnia that cycles between 14 and 3 hours of sleep
So here is the problem... I have started to experience a different form of sleep paralysis. I am not actually paralyzed. I can even get out of my bed, and I am fully conscious during it as if I am awake. I see and hear really bizzare things. I experienced dozens of things this morning. Here are some of them:
>saw a green turtle with Chinese characters on its back crawling up my wall
>heard my mom making an uhhhhh vocalization from the other room like a frozen video game
>saw three playing cards on my ceiling that turned over one by one to reveal the king of hearts, the 10 of spades, and the 2 of diamonds
>heard people whispering to me intelligibly
What gives?
>>29792206
Well the answer to your question is stop being a roleplaying faggot.
Isn't that schizophrenia?
>>29792323
This is real. Do you not believe me?
>>29792206
Take your medicine.
>>29793010
I stopped taking it 3 weeks ago because it makes me less intelligent. Should I just suck it up and take it? I think I might start taking it again, but at a smaller dose. I'm still taking my antidepressants though because they don't have side effects.
>>29793148
Take your fucking meds. If you don't like the side effects, discuss it maturely with your psychiatrist and find a better solution. Try a smaller dose or switch to a different medication altogether. Whatever you do, though, don't just stop taking meds you're prescribed because you feel like it. For fuck's sake this is one of my biggest pet peeves.
>>29793148
Ask your pdoc for new medicine, that won't slow you down as much. If you don't take any medicine you might end up being admitted into a psych ward.
I used to hallucinate pretty bad when I was trying sleeping meds and when I had sleep paralysis.
I'm no professional, but it sounds like just plain hallucinating if you can move, man.
I have AVPD
HELP
>>29793230
I have already been to one. I don't want to go back desu
OP, I think you were misdiagnosed. You probably have schizophrenia. Continue taking anti-psychotics.
>>29793857
Schizophrenia is just schizoaffective disorder without a major mood disorder though. I also fit the exact criteria for having mood symptoms for a certain period of time without psychosis.
>>29792206
how did it start
was there ever a pre onset stage, how long was it, at what rate did it get worse, what were the first things that happened to you
>>29793911
I was in college when it started. The following things came in this order...
>very uncomfortable in places with a lot of commotion
>uncontrollable, racing thoughts
>fear of impending doom
>"visions" of accidents/disasters. These visions were like brief daydreams of stuff like suddenly seeing a car hit a person and then I would snap out of it.
>fearful that people are following and monitoring me
>thinking that every camera I saw was being used to record me in some way
>think that people within a ~30ft radius of me can read my thoughts, but I can't read theirs
>started to have a second train of thought in my head that didn't belong to me (very hard to understand until you experience it yourself. It's like someone is communicating with you telepathically or has possessed your body)
>started to actually hear these thoughts as sounds
>hear people calling my name out of nowhere
>hear subliminal messages to me in music
>start to make out faces and numbers in grass and trees
>think that mannequins and animatronics are alive
>hear footsteps behind me wherever I go
And then the stuff I mentioned in the OP.
>>29793911
Also, I forgot to mention the more general effects.
>Disorganized behavior (acting like a stoned person)
>can't multitask anymore
>occasional Disorganized speech (something will sound okay to say in my head, but it makes no sense to others)
>extreme memory impairment. I will be driving somewhere, and I will completely forget where I was going and will just drive home. I generally can't remember if I ate my last meal or not
>amnesia. I forget large periods of time and can never recover the memories
>>29792206
i've been experiencing sleep paralysis every single night for a few weeks now
last week i woke up and saw a floating fish statue staring at me from above, it was glowing with light and it started speaking to me in a deep voice that sounded like water cycling back and forth through my ears, it started talking about tennis and the rules of how to play then my entire room got covered in a net pattern that felt like it was suffocating me and i jumped out of bed and ran into the other room where my dad was and he couldn't see anything i was shouting about
usually i just see giant spiders, deep sea creatures/crustaceans, tiny ants/fleas that crawl into my pillowcases, wasps that buzz near my ears and try to burrow into my ear canal, centipedes in my hair, when i try going to sleep or when i wake up that is when i see them the most, i'll see them scurry down the wall under my bed, sometimes they're floating above me, sometimes they're crawling down the wall near my head, sometimes they're really far away and coming closer and closer until i shout and run away, it's so surreal that i think it's real for like 30 mins and just search all night and never get any sleep because i'm terrified, one time there was a scorpion on my arm and i thought it was fake so i ignored it but then i could feel it and i jumped up and threw it and it fell behind my bed, never found it but i think that was real
my house is infested with insects and they like to come in my bed so it's hard to deal what is real and not anymore, the worst hallucination was this giant crab with spikes that looked like a tarantula/pufferfish that emerged from a cocoon plastered against my wall surrounded by a bunch of thick web that descended down into the deep ocean where i was laying and stopped just short of my face to release a bunch of baby spiders from its mouth
Anyone else so goddamn depressed that they act like a retard?
>>29794499
Yes. More than I can fucking say.
>at work
>constantly distracted by intrusive thoughts and extremely tired from bipolar depression
>boss tells me something, I'm too obsessed and preoccupied with intrusive thoughts of killing him and raping his corpse and too depressed about the fact that I have these thoughts to register that he's talking to me
>he doesn't repeat himself, just looks at me like I'm retarded
>I have a look on my face constantly like I'm high and disturbed because I'm so distracted and depressed and fucking exhausted
>I finally realize that he's trying to speak to me, ask him to repeat himself
>he's already mad and acts pissy the rest of the day
>acts like I'm an idiot the rest of the day
This happens almost every single day
>>29794710
I'm just completely nonfunctional at this point. I'm spending progressively less and less time outside of my bedroom as every day passes. I might go full hikki.
>>29794736
I'm quitting my job and going NEET until I can find work that doesn't require me to be supervised constantly or at least involves getting instruction via email instead of talking with someone face-to-face. I'm better now than I have been in years, this is after an enormous amount of medication and therapy and I still struggle with shit in retail.
I hope things get better for you, for both of us, anon.
>>29794710
You have pure O OCD. Do some research into it. ( Basically it's the intrusive and violent thoughts)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primarily_obsessional_obsessive_compulsive_disorder
That disorder sucks though, get help.
>>29792206
Dude, call in some help from your guardian angel and whatever form of the Creator you kind of maybe don't hate. Fucking psychiatrists have never seen spirits - I have. Any number of things could be happening to you; the most likely as I see it is that some spirits communicate with you, probably trying to get a rise out of you for kicks or whatever, quite disrespectfully and violating your boundaries. Burn some sage while you're at it. And try to understand the nature of your personal power and who you are so you can shield - perhaps visualizing a fiery white, powerful light of protection in your body and around you, especially before bedtime. Get some fucking spiritual protection.
>>29794862
My friend, I have compulsions along with the intrusive thoughts, I just didn't mention it because I didn't want the post to drag on. It's fucking hell and I'm in therapy to try and treat it, rest assured.
>>29794710
holy shit i relate to this
i don't know why but this happens no matter who talks to me, i feel guilty about it because it feels as if people can read my mind when the intrusive thoughts are happening, can't even get out of my head and hear people and understand them when they speak to me, just go on autopilot until they leave
it also happens when i try to enjoy anything, films, shows, music, art, all i can think is negative thoughts and just garbage fills my mind even if i don't think that way at all, can't focus on anything for more than a minute before my head wanders away and i'll come back to reality 30 mins later and realize i have no idea what the fuck just happened
>>29794473
That would be funny if it weren't so scary
>>29794806
I've had three psych ward stays, multiple therapists, and a cornucopia of medications, but none of it helps. I just want to lie down and sleep forever.
Might as well start doing heroin again.
>>29794933
Mayby just do weed? I'd say heroin would only worsen your situation but I understand your desperation at this point.
>>29794930
m8, those are classic signs of OCD. Regardless of the kind that you have it's an EXTREMELY serious condition and you should do everything you can to get help for it. Medication and/or therapy can treat it, make the thoughts a lot easier to deal with or even make them go completely away. I've had to deal with it since I was a kid, but you don't have to suffer forever. Get some help, man. See a psychiatrist.
>>29794933
>three psych ward stays
me too
>multiple therapists
an understatement
>a cornucopia of medications
yup
Even after all of that I haven't given up hope. There are good people out there who want to help people like us. I hope you can find a good psychologist, or at least something that helps. Self-medication is usually a temporary solution that escalates to abuse and does more harm than good in the end.
>>29795001
I already smoke weed everyday, it does nothing. Opiates are the only thing that effectively cure whatever is wrong with me, so that's where I'm going to go.
>>29795026
I've had all the people who want to help me try to help me. And they were/are qualified and good at their jobs. And for self medication to escalate to abuse would require the starting point being something other than abuse.
>>29795026
>m8, those are classic signs of OCD
i have some OCD traits but i never thought i have it
i read about the washing hands thing and found that weird since i obsessively wash my hands around 30 times a day, anytime i touch ANYTHING i have to wash my hands, always has to be completely clean as possible, i get up and go to the sink constantly, if i use any dishes for food even if they were washed i have to rewash them several times before use, if there's a single speck on something i refuse to use it, and i get these strange twitches all over my body where i constantly tense my muscles over and over and over and over, if i tense it once then i can't stop, my jaw is constantly numb and in pain from the neck twitching
i would never get help for it though i don't see OCD as serious enough, i think people would find it overdramatic and pathetic, i used to get therapy for depression and the intrusive thoughts made it impossible to get help, but i never told them about the intrusive thoughts because i thought they would hate me
>three psych ward stays
me three
>>29795166
Washing hands is a stereotypical symptom but by no means is it necessary for a diagnosis. The fact that you have a preoccupation with cleanliness is just another reason to get checked out, since it's so typical of the disorder.
Therapists are used to hearing about intrusive thoughts like this. It's completely understandable to be apprehensive about talking about it- just be absolutely firm that you have no intent to act on the thoughts, that they're intrusive and unwanted, and they'll understand and do everything they can to help. It's not overdramatic or pathetic, it's a serious disorder that ruins lives and way too many people suffering from it don't get the help that they need.
>>29794903
This is interesting. Is there a forum or a pdf on this?
>>29795069
Just learn how to properly do kratom my man. Seriously. It's as strong as hydrocodone if you prepare it correctly.
i shouldn't be looking at this because it's the sort of thing that shows self awareness and they always get mad about that.
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and later with paranoid schizophrenia (which may have nullified my Asperger diagnoses, I don't remember) and they gave me pills. But when I take them I get careless.
If I'm not careful, he'll catch me and swallow my spine.
The pills are a trap, anons. Don't do it.
>>29796223
>mad about people showing self awareness
>admit that you have schizophrenia
Also, "Paranoid schizophrenia" was done away with. It's just called schizophrenia now. There is no Disorganized schizophrenia either.
>>29796390I don't have schizophrenia, I was diagnosed with it. Schizophrenia isn't real.
>>29792206
You're having a psychotic episode senpai.
get yourself checked out
>>29793148
lel, there's your problem right there.
antidepressants are known to make psychosis worse, or even cause it in the first place.
take your fucking meds faggot.
They're supposed to sedate you, that's why they're called major tranquilizers. Plus, a lot of the side effects begin to subside once you start taking them properly.
