quick you have to have sex with someone or you will be brutally and slowly murdered in a method that you would find the most disagreeable by an evil entity.
how fucked are you? what's your game plan?
hardmode: no hookers and no rape
>installs grindr
>tell female friends about the situation
>hopefully my genuine terror convinces one of them
fuck that, I'd rather die
>>29779470
probably try to fuck my brother's gf, just because she's super nice and would understand if i had some proof
>>29779470
>how fucked are you?
Not at all, as it were. My only hope would be to hide in a church or something and hope Jesus helps a nigga out.
>>29779470
>Already have a fuckbuddy
>gg guys
>>29779470
My gameplan involves swallowing my pride and asking a girl out. There's at least one I know of who'd at least blow me on the first date (even if I don't find her particularly attractive due to her being crazy) so I'd have a good shot.
If my life depended on it, I'd just go to a bar or club and try and find a drunk bitch to fuck...
Options:
-tell someone you know about the situation and they would let you fuck them/set you up with someone
-find some fat/drunk chick somewhere
-find some gay dude who is degenerate enough
-actually ask a girl out
>>29779470
>drive downtown, it's nighttime here
>bring metal baseball bat
>dent random niggerina's head in
>rape the unconscious body
checkmate, Satan-San
>>29779470
i text my girlfiend and say hey lets get a movie later and when she shoes up we fuck and skip the movie
Have sex with the evil entity.
>>29779470
>make tinder account
>force self to look good, do hygiene
>Post best pic and wait for swipes
>Meanwhile, hitch a ride down to one of those meeting areas with the music and alcohol
>Act like a chad
>To the majority females, i'm an 18 year old that's cute because he's trying to look tough
>To the minority females, i'm a 17 year old that's cute because he looks tough
>Either way, find an intoxicated female
>Do pickups to them until just one agrees
>Worst case, some 0/10 will have looked at my tinder and I put my dick in their vagina
Easy as qtpie anon.
>>29779537
Dead
>>29780216
Dead
>>29780251
Dead
>>29780268
Dead
>>29780273
Dead
>>29780276
Normie get out ree
>>29780292
Dead
>>29780466
Dead
>>29780502
Dead
>>29780512
No rape allowed
Dead
>>29780534
stop lying
Dead
>>29780580
Dead after a big cum
>>29780589
Dead
>>29779470
What if the evil entity is us and the slow murder method is living to death while constantly contemplating suicide?
>>29780672
Wow, thanks so much for that gamemaster. I wish I had your level of autism.
>>29780693
ITT dead person
>>29779470
kill myself
i don't want to have to talk to people
Eh, if you really, really HAVE to get laid, just lower your standards enough.
3s will sleep with anything. I'd just go on OKC and hit up the real landbeasts.
>fuck FWB from dojo after class
Crisis averted
