I'm just curious how /r9k/ sees this situation
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4rl12r/my_22_m_younger_brother_16_m_and_parents_56_m_56/
(pic to the left)
Should he forgive his Stacy sister for torturing him when he was a loser?
>Should he forgive his Stacy sister for torturing him when he was a loser?
no
>>29776040
>Should he forgive his Stacy sister for torturing him when he was a loser?
no. no. no.
yes. people do CHANGE. if i was was the same shitty person i was 2 years ago i would have no friends. I cannot comprehend how much i have changed. Its possible, and hes really ignorant for not even giving her a chance to speak. I think he should hear her out, think about it, then if he wants, go back to hating her. Everyone deserves a chance, and change is possible.
>>29776500
you are an idiot :)
stacy's and chad's NEVER CHANGE
>>29776522
i know what im talking about because i went through it myself :)
sorry you were probably the person in highschool that everyone shit on. your fault, should've changed.
>>29776500
Found the sister. You even type like a desperate Stacy looking for validation.
>>29776040
Call her and tell her he never wants to talk to her again. Problem solved.
>>29776040
this faggot is taking it too far, girl was just a teenager, give her a second chance, and if she blows it he should move on.
Should he forgive her? Yes. It's never good to hold resentment in your heart. This doesn't mean that he's obligated to accept her trying to reconnect with him. ALTHOUGH, his attitude is not right, either, because he claims that she could not possibly have changed. People can and do change, especially from teenagers to adulthood. Maybe if he wasn't so convinced that she's still a hateful person, he might be a little more willing to give her a try.
>>29776500
Who fucking cares if they changed. My mother treated me like shit, but she changed. Doesn't remove all the psychological damage it caused me. I don't want to see her even if she changed.
>>29776040
She sounds like a vile person and he's right for cutting contact. Too bad the rest of his family is blind.
poor fuck
of course not
>>29776500
I at least think he should TRY to talk to her, but only for research purposes. test the water, see how far she's willing to lie to his face. if a person once threw boiling water at a guy without remorse, they can fucking lie like it's nothing too. they can pretend to be a good and kind person who helps the homeless, after all, now that she's an adult she's got a reputation beyond her own siblings to think about.
Nah, from what sounds to be a decade of constant abuse he has no obligation to forgive her, even if she did change.
>most people in the thread basically going "w-well she might've done a few wrong things b-but you are FAMILY anon :) :) :)"
fuck reddit
>>29776040
It's pretty easy, give her a second chance and when she proves you right cut off contact with the family and tell them you told them so.
>>29777076
couldn't have said it better, dude.
I'd give a stacy teenage cunt a second chance but I'd cut contact with family who threatens to cut contact over said stacy
>>29777188
oh yeah that stacy being a cunt is likely to have something to do with parents too
>>29776755
This is the thing I hate most. These bullies damage other people, then they "change" so they can't be punished or face guilt later. Meanwhile you get to keep all the damage and are expected to just "get over it like [bully] did". And not only that, but YOU become the bad guy if you continue to hold a grudge!
Them changing doesn't make a damn difference to you unless they intend to help undo some of the damage they caused. At the very least they could just leave you alone, if they've suddenly developed sympathy.
>>29777076
Also this.
That sub is so fucking cancerous even by reddit standards.
Flip the genders and everyone would be shitting on the asshole sibling and supporting OP.
He already mentioned he's semi famous now so it's clear as fucking day she wants his $$$.
>>29777264
n-n-n-nnn- NO BUT THEY CHANGED!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO F-F-FORGIVE THEM!!!!!
>>29777451
>no choice in being bullied
>no choice in forgiving bully
fuck reddit i swear
fuck this guys family too
He says he's athletic and a successful stand up comic. Any ideas on who this cuck is?
>"but she is family and at least hear her out."
>No. What a stupid tired argument.
OP strikes back
>>29777763
i pictured this desu
>>29776040
Let's say the family is right and sister really has changed and she's a perfect angel now. It still doesn't matter. The damage she did during his most vulnerable years still exists and can't ever be taken back. If a career criminal has a change of heart, that doesn't fix the damage they did to their victims and it doesn't mean they should be let off the hook in their punishment. The guy should never, ever forgive her or speak to her under any circumstances, and if his family takes her side in it then that's just too bad.
>>29777763
"successful" as a stand up comic doesn't actually mean successful. it's highly unlikely the average person has any idea who he is.
>tfw you make up a story about avoiding your brother for 30 years only to regret it after his funeral
>tfw your story makes OP look like an asshole
>tfw all of this is subjective
>>29776040
>Should he forgive his Stacy sister for torturing him when he was a loser?
Absolutely not. He should cut ties with all of them. He WILL be labeled a loser/outcast but he will keep his dignity.
Dignity is more valuable than any social pressure label in the world.
>>29778098
>Replying to my post
Also because dignity is what makes YOU feel good inside.
It's actually very telling the way that she tries to corner her brother and force herself back into his life, regardless of his feelings. Even going as far as forcing a wedge between him and the rest of the family. That's not respecting his feelings, that's not regretting her actions, that's just more of the same selfish manipulative bullshit. She's grown up a little and realized that she needs to hide her cuntish behavior beneath an appearance of caring. My sister did the exact same thing. Acting superficially nice and caring like she'd turned over a new leaf when in reality she just wanted her perfect happy family. She doesn't actually care about him or his feelings, she simply just wants to be forgiven for her own sake. It's actually quite an evil fucking thing to do because it makes her the victim in this.
I think what I'd do is try to compromise by agreeing to attend a family gathering with her and everyone briefly once a year. With no obligation to ever see her other than at that time. Say I have absolutely not forgiven her and don't think she's changed but that you're willing to suffer her presence for the sake of the family. Show up 2 hours late to Christmas or whatever, say hello to everyone, ignore her as long as you can then leave early. Enjoy actual real family time the rest of the year.
Simple
It's just whether he hates his sister more than he loves his brother, if so then losing his brother is worth it, and his brother is most definitely bluffing or will give up within a month anyways
Being bitter over events that happened during your childhood is a really shitty way to live, he should attempt to seek counseling or find some other way to get over it
>>29778143
His brother is being manipulated by the roastie into making the OP bullying continue. Why should he care about whether his older brother sees his sister, unless she's constantly bitching about wanting to see him? If she really changed she'd leave him the heck alone and respect his independence, I tell you what.
>>29778242
He wouldn't have even made the thread if it weren't for the fact that she is harassing him on a daily basis. Why do people defend her actions?
>>29777264
You only say that because you've never actually experienced change. Do you know how much guilt and self doubt a lot of people go through after they change? How bad they feel about what they used to be? It's fucking terrible and it's something you've never experienced, so you can't possibly understand
someone post a tl;dr for fucks sakes
>>29778314
>sister fucks with her loser brother hard core
>he cuts contact with her forever
>she 'changes' and wants forgiven
>he says no fuck you crazy bitch get out
>rest of the family all takes her side
>threatens to cut contact with him
>he actually likes the rest of them a lot
>but can't forgive his crazy bitch sister
>>29778133
I mean, he could basically do the same thing now. In my experience there were only 2 holidays where extended family was expected to spend time together, and that was Christmas and Thanksgiving. He doesn't have to forgive her, but he could just limit his contact to these 2 days or whatever and just speak as little as possible with her.
Honestly it seems like they are both just trying to project their feelings to the outside world. She is trying to victimize herself to her family and get attention/relieve public guilt. And rather than take the easy way out of this, he's trying to make it clear to everyone that he's still a damaged person that will never let go of the things that were done to him by his sister.
As I said, he doesn't have to forgive her, but agreeing to see her twice a year just to sate everyone makes the most sense if he wants to maintain stability. The responsibility would be entirely on her too, because if he gave it a shot and she was still a shitty person, no one would blame him for cutting her out again. After all, he gave it a shot.
>>29778286
Boo hoo. Cry me a river. Maybe shitty people should learn that their actions have consequences.
>>29778314
>roastie made fat brother toastie
>he dumps her
>she won't stand for the Chad treatment from a beta
>she gets toastie herself
>gives different brother cummies to take her side
>parents take her side because she has a cunt
>fatty doesn't like this
>they threaten to disown him if he doesn't beg her forgiveness
>>29776040
>cuts off his sister
>i don't care
>family threatens to cut him off
>i can't bear it
pretty pathetic. he should either commit to cutting off his sister and accept the consequences or compromise instead of just whining that he doesn't like how other people react to his actions. of course, he's not even asking for advice so he's literally just begging for sympathy on reddit.
also, i like that he gives his family a free pass for doing nothing while his sister abused him.
>>29776040
leddit man is a dumbass and should milk the situation. if the sister proves to be different, then she does. this guy is just wasting opportunities for his own personal benefit.
>>29778541
this tee be aitch
>>29776040
Its not possible to completely change your personality unless you come back from a near death experience and it happened over decades of time. If he contacts her he will regret it for the rest of his life.
>>29776500
Whether or not she's changed, he shouldn't speak to her. Not speaking to her is win/win. If she hasn't changed, then he keeps the cancerous person out of his life forever. If she has, then she'll be forced to carry on knowing she was never forgiven, and he'll have his revenge when she takes her sins to the grave.
>>29776040
dont speak to her again, I have the same relationship with my sister
the younger brother will ALWAYS fold/give up on the ignoring the cool older brother because a brother is worth more than a million good sisters
best option
>ignore sister, call little brother on his little brother bullshit
>continue what you are doing, I am doing the same shit and its great and I am much happier
Interesting how she happened to change right about the time he started making lots of money.
>>29778541
She's the one who started involving other people.
>>29778692
Why the fuck is she entitled to a second chance? Good for him for staying committed. If you ever humor a woman then they have already fucking won.
>>29778795
>hmm he changed and became a hot successful guy
>i should changed and forgive him for being a loser :^)
>oh no wtf why is he angry at me i did nothing wrong ;_;
>>29778795
>She's the one who started involving other people.
yeah, that's fucked up but he can't stop people from getting involving if they choose to. his sister didn't force his family to say or do anything.
>>29778286
Validating these feelings of guilt is not a burden that falls to the victim.
>>29777264
so they can't face guilt?
speaking as someone who was a cunt during puberty, i carry that guilt with me all of my life. you'd be surprised how often i think back to shit spanning to middle school and hating myself and wondering why i couldn't have been something different. i wish i knew then what i knew now. as cliche as it is, i was just fucking dead and lost
i can't even make verbal apologies because no worries can express nor will ever take back the shitty things i said, did. i was just overall very negative as a child and i'm sad that i had to spread that to those around me.
although my close friends accept me and see me happily, in the back of my mind i'll always think that they think of me as a shitty person, no matter who i am now.
speaking generally, you also have to see if being mean was their outlet bc they hated the world and experienced tragedy at a young age.
if you don't want her in your life, let it go
don't force it. she'll understand as well
but know his/her sorrow and guilt/shame are eternal. whatever your capacity is for forgiveness is i guess
>>29778863
t. 99% of all Stacys. She's just leveraging his family to try to get an edge on him because she can't stand a fucking male not fawning over her and giving her attention.
>>29778882
There is no way she was not complicit in all these stupid shenanigans (that he had to pay money for) they pulled to get the two of them in the same room so she can pull the ol' gushing and sobbing with remorse act.
>>29778286
Them's the fucking breaks, faggot. If you're not prepared to deal with the possibly permanent consequences of your shit actions, then you shouldn't have been performing shit actions in the first place.
>>29779006
All you've done is change to a different form of narcissism, one where you wallow in your own pain and cry over how immense your suffering from shame and guilt is.
>>29779024
i'm honestly confused what your point is. he can't force his family to take his side. his sister can't either. his family chose to take hers. he can throw around how they're dumb to buy into her manipulation all he wants but they're still fully participating and pulling manipulative shit with her.
>>29779231
He never tried to get them to turn on her. She's the one who went one step farther and threatened to take his family away. They are two old retards and a teenager, while they are slightly to blame too, she's the one who's trying to play them like pawns.
>>29779006
My main bully in high school had a terrible home life and chose to inflict his misery upon others. I'm not going to spontaneously recover because his father beat him first; doesn't change what he did to me.
There's no reason for me to forgive him. He knew exactly what he was doing. Frankly if his father wasn't justified in beating him initially, he grew into it.
>>29779099
so what would you like said childhood bully to do?
what should / could / can they do?
they're certainly not the same person anymore. not at all. not even a single fucking atom
>>29779513
There is nothing you can do. You can offer apology if you like, but you are not entitled to a second chance. All this "b-b-but I've changed! I'm not the same person!" is just self-serving garbage. You've got a cross to bear and the other person is just a tool you want to use to get it off your back.
>>29779513
Fix the problems they caused. Try to set you back on the path you would have been on had they not relentlessly harassed you.
>>29779513
Yes actually they literally are the same person and they always will be.
Maybe try driving your life head first into the ground and become a homeless drug addict so at least they have some vindication as you DIE the worthless piece of shit you always deserved to be.
Be an example of actual justice in the world and do something morally right for once by ending your own life you fucking faggot.
