Advice thread, being a normie doesn't stop depression edition.
This is a thread where people can ask questions and talk about their problems, and I will try and give answers and advice. This thread is an alternative to /adv/ specifically for the people on this board.
>inb4 reeeeee get off my board
Simple suspension or partial suspension hanging?
>>29764907
How do i get a gf? I'm average looking and somewhat tall but i don't know what to do.
>>29764929
No idea. Context?
>>29764961
I like to think that gfs are female friends who you get along with so well that you go to the "next level". Thus you just need to make some female friends, and I mean actual friends, not someone you orbit, and then something might happen there(:
>>29764907
>This thread is an alternative to /adv/ specifically for the people on this board.
rustld
>>29765010
How are you ever going to deal with it, my friend?
>>29764961
Girl here,
I'm tired of you thirsty betas complaining about not getting pussy. It's a real turn off. I'm considered a very direct woman, so follow these crucial steps to at least get a 6/10
>Be attractive
Now being attractive isn't everything, but if you don't at least 8/10 looks, women will not even pay attention to you. Take care of your face and work out. If you're still ugly, get surgery or settle for some landwhale
>Be rich
The bare minimum is exactly $100, 000 a year. That's the economy for you. It's just the way it is. We want to be taken cared of. Even you do get a girl, she'll just leave you for the next rich alpha
>Social status
Chicks love it when you have connections and actually know how to talk to human beings. Not lonely social autist that can't even say two things to anyone. Having connections can come in handy in the future and doesn't hurt to be a person lots of people know.
>Nice car
All we want is to driven in a car that's not shitty. Just get a $20, 000 car. It's not too much to ask for. Oh and if you can't drive, consider suicide.
>Be tall
HOLY SHIT PLEASE BE TALL!
Why would a girl want to go out with a manlet? Theirs plenty of tall men for us you are not even worth the competition
>have big dick
Yup, size DOES matter. The whole "ocean" thing is bullshit. This is why we let black men do us.
>Don't be a virgin
Virgins are disgusting! They should be condemned to death. How are you still a virgin? Girls don't ask for much you know.
>Get rid of your pathetic interests
No more vidya, comics, anime weeabo shit, no porn, no more cartoons, MLP, and stop coming to this stupid image board. You're grown ass men, act like it.
>Be an asshole
We don't show it, but we love to be treated like stupid children. Why do you think women would stay with their abusive cheating boyfriends? But hey, if you're really nice, maybe we'll let you be our official orbiter.
That's it. It's just easy if you ask me.
Don't forget-- just be yourself! :)
>>29765032
Yeah, nah, I'm a relatively average normie and I have a 7/10 gf. I play vidya games, I'm a huge nerd, and I'm an unambitious penniless student, so this is all just bullshit(:
>>29765032
Actual fembot here.
The only thing true about this post is
>be an asshole
But i dont mean actual asshole. This is more of a be confident. Be direct. Dont show your intense insecurities and expect us to pity you or think its cute. The shit aint cute.
>>29765124
Yeah, that sounds a lot more realistic. I have a very short average-looking friend, but he's had a ton of success with women just because he's confident.
>>29765090
Nobody wants to read bout your incest fantasies, Anon
>>29765222
Nice projection there, friendo.
>>29764994
How do you get "female friends" then?
>>29765330
Same way you get male friends. You just talk to people in a social setting and start getting along with them - it doesn't matter if they have boobs or not.
Got with a milf who's 23 and sends me constant nudes but she's addicted and I don't wanna take care of a kid. Also she seems the type to go off the edge for little shit so I think she'll kill the baby if I leave her. Tips?
>>29765540
I'd leave - I definitely wouldn't want to be taking care of a kid if I wasn't ready. As for the baby, hopefully, as a mother she wouldn't do something like that, but if you're really worried you could call child protective services or something.
>>29764994
>>29765499
>implying heterosexual male and female adults can be "just friends
>implying being "friends" with the opposite sex isn't just something naive, inexperienced young people try to force because they don't know better.
acquaintances, sure. friends? no, that's not how humans work.
>>29765581
She's super sweet but all of a sudden the kid who's like a year will cry and she will yell shit like "I'm gonna ship you away, I don't love you, you're spoiled little shit" and I just sit there awkwardly on the phone.
>>29765615
Yeah, nah m8, that's completely and utterly untrue. I have plenty of female friends, and you can't claim to know exactly how women work without even providing sources or anything.
>>29765620
That's not normal. Maybe call CPS on her. It's a shitty situation, I know.
>>29765581
Could you give me an example? I don't think that anyone would be up for some random person engaging in a conversation and demanding friendship.
>>29765721
I'm assuming that's regarding >>29765499?
Yeah well assuming you already have friends, you might get invited to a party. There you introduce yourself to the people already there, as is customary, and spend a bit of time chatting to some while drinking and stuff. The next day you might add them on facebook, and the people you really got along with you'll message saying that you had fun and you should organise something again. Then the next event you go to, you guys get to know each other better, and eventually you will become friends.
How to stay NEET? I've been NEET for 2 years already, but recently my parents started to tell me that I have to work and earn money like "normal" people do. They just don't get that I'm not a normal, I'm fucking broken, I mean I can't into society, collective, team work and all this stuff. They won't understand it, I'm sure for all 100%. And also they surely never kick me out. What to do robots?
>>29766666
Being NEET isn't a normie thing, so the only advice I could give you is to stop feeling sorry for yourself, listen to your parents and reintegrate yourself into society, which I'm pretty sure you don't want to hear.
>>29764907
>ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
original cementini tortellini times 3 and a half
>>29767514
Good one, anon. Did you come up with that all on your own?
>>29764907
this faggot normie guy is probably stupid nothing to say, i atleast admire him for being honest. but seriusly, Just leave.
>>29764907
help me get a job. I keep applying but all i get back is rejections, I think i am fucked. I lose my job in two months and I am starting to panic, I am a cyborg and my job is the only thing keeping me from going full robot. please help.
>>29768188
I'm sorry I bring you so much discomfort, anon. However, I'm not by any means stupid, and I struggle to see how you got that impression :/
>>29768223
Keep trying. What kind of jobs are you applying for? I know that they might seem "beneath you", but there are plenty of pubs and such looking for staff.
>>29768419
not actually stupid, perhaps you have a high iq, but then agian you wont have anything of value to say.
you must know that true robots are/where probably desperate as fuck. They have searched the web for long periods of time.
i would be funnt if this is bait.
>>29769279
That's a fair point, to be honest, but I just see it as offering pragmatic advice to those who seek it. Chances are they've already heard it before, but it might help to hear is one more time from a normie.
>>29769337
i guess, thanks for calling giving me that (you) and compliment btw.
But seriusly you could just go out and walk instead.
