HELP, MY ANUS IS SWOLLEN UP LIKE A BALLOON AND I CANT TAKE A FUCKING SHIT, NOTHING IS COMING OUT, THERES A HUGE LOG BUT WHEN I PUSH AND STRAIN IT JUST DOESNT GO OUT AND THE ANUS IS SWOLLEN AND ENLARGED
HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK
SWOLLEN AND ENLARGED FROM THE INSIDE I MEAN
pics?
>originao
That's what you get for being a degenerate faggot.
Eat some prunes
>>29756625
PREPARATION H
>>29756625
show us your disgusting ass hole if you expect anybody to care desu
>>29756625
Well my first bit of advice would be to not eat until it clears up
>if it clears up
Probably haemorrhoids but really, go to the doctor.
If it is haemorrhoids: eat less insoluble fibre and more soluble fibre and try to sit less. Don't shove anything up your ass for a while. Do not strain on the toilet, no good ever comes from that.
Again, go to the doctor.
>>29756625
prune juice, extra large
>>29756625
if you need to take a shit but can't, lube your fingers up a bit and then stick them up there and break the shit up into smaller chunks, also buy some hemmeroid cream, it comes with a little nozzle that you stick up the and then you squeeze it and it comes out the sides of the nozzle, it should reduce the swelling. Long term to prevent this kind of thing eat more fiber and or stop putting things up your ass.
>>29756676
>>29756741
Its all inside not protruding outside which means when i strain and push, the poop is clogged against the swollen rim of the anus but theres nothing to indicate it as such outside
>>29756724
Does it specifically help with swelling caused be piles?
>>29756915
Fuck less insoluble? Ive been reading that all over and hoping i havent made a huge mistake trying to cram fiber from various food and fruit around the house into me and only making it worse by bulking up the stool that cant pass, fuckkk
>>29756970
The issue is no longer passing of the stool its that the stool cant be passed because like an idiot I strained and pushed instead of stopping and gave myself hemerrhoids and swelling again
>>29757030
From what I have read on the internet, people who do that tend to make matters worse ane cause bleeding even
Will the cream help with the swelling? I cant pass poop if its still swollen it just makes it hurt more, i have this log strainging against the swollen walls of the anus and i have abdominal pain on the lower left side that comes and goes and abdominal bloating
For a while there I felt like I had to pee but couldnt pee no matter how hard I tried and thankfully that has passed and I've pissed three times now but HOLY SHIT I CANT SHIT
I'm so scared
Everytime i push it feels like its being blocked by something, the fucking swelling and no matter how hard I push it wont go through and if I strain any more I will just make it worse and cause more swelling and piles, fuck fuck fuck
This is not something I would wish on anyone, arent our anuses there to help us poo? Mine wont let me poo, what the fuck man how is this evolutonarily beneficial
Please please pleasepleaseplease
>>29756698
Fuck you I have a history of consitpation
If anything this is what I get for not doing anything about it
GOD
>>29757136
yes the hemerroid cream will reduce the swelling, that's what it does, it should also reduce the pain and it also helps lube the hemmeroids so poop can pass easier, it's not even that expensive and you don't need a prescription, just go pick some up.
>>29757294
CVS is closed, I'll have to wait till morning, the clock just struck midnight
So begins this harrowing night.
>>29756625
anon are u an attractive female y/n? :3
>>29757338
No fuck off I hope you get swollen anus, not really though, noone should ever have to deal with this, where did I go so wrong in life, jfmsu
>>29757329
go to Walmart, they are open 24/7 and should have it
>>29757381
No Walmart where I live, fuck, everything around me is closed, this is the kind of shit I fear the most and probably why I get so much anxiety at nighttime too
>>29757369
it's ok anon I have balloon butt as well. I shit out little brown string beans because of it :3
If the shit is stuck right at the end of your anus you can try performing a manual disimpaction OP. Stick your index finger up your ass and use it to hook little pieces of the turd out. You should be able to break it up enough to pass it. If you don't have latex gloves, use your bare finger, just make sure your nail is trimmed all the way back.
>>29757421
It feels like its deep inside, sticking a finger into the swollen anal cavity I felt only a spongy gross feeling, the swollen anal walls, but the poo is further up and since I never stick anything up there its tight as fuck and trying to manually remove it this way could aggravate the hemerrhoid, causing more swelling or potentially bleeding, I'm shit out of options.
At least I can pee and ocassionally pass tiny amounts of gas, this is helping the bloating feeling subside a bit, and the sharp pain in my lower left abdominal quadrant has subsided a bit more now, because I'm lying down on my back I guess.
I still feel like shit though, maybe I'll try and get some sleep, if the discomfort doesnt get worse.
>>29757531
Go to the hospital dude. No telling what might happen if you fall asleep for eight hours with half your rectum hanging out.
>>29757586
Its not hanging out you idiot did you even read the thread, its swollen from the inside due to straining too hard trying to shit
I read somewhere today that taking a shit should take 10 seconds, holy shit that blew me mind, thats way shorter than my shits usually take, I really need to take better care of my shitter.
>>29757531
Girls are right about one thing and that's how to relieve stomach cramps of any kind. Fill a hot water bottle and place it on your stomach when it's painful. It helps.
>>29756625
push harder, Anon
>>29757657
That was my first mistake.
>>29756625
We will be here for you every step of the way.
Stay calm Anon, this anxiety is not helping.
Breathe deeply and exhale through your mouth, inhale through nose.
Make sure you aren't constricting your stomach or bladder.
>>29757656
Thanks anon I'll try that, but my whole abdomen feels tender as fuck right now, sometimes pain on both sides, I dont know if hot water will help or aggravate it I'll see
>>29757682
uhmm, well then... Shove a stick up your anal cavity
>>29757704
Thanks anon I'm trying my best to get through this without getting a panic attack because i cant shit and what if this continues and gsts worse and everything is hurting and theres pain and bloating and aching and its midnight and everyone in a 10 block radius is sleeping and meanwhile im shitposting on /r9k/ about how i cant take a shit..
Alright ill try deep breahting now
>>29757755
Good, remember, you'll get through this.
Inhale through nose, exhale through mouth.
When the shit does push through your anus, and it will, all will be right in the world, and you will be at peace.
This is a test of will and determination.
You will pass.
>>29757846
A test of will sure, but to me it just feels like the price for stupidity, for ignorance
Drink some coffee you nigger. Always cleans you out real quick.
>>29757898
don't beat yourself up about it now.
just do better from now on.
you'll deal with it and if you can't resolve it on your own you'll go to a doctor.
Jesus Christ.
Listen to me. Go to the local ER. For whatever doubtless gross reason you have an inflamed anus, and cannot express feces through it right? You need an enema and a course of powerful anti-infammatories, and probably a course of a stool softener for a week or more.
Are any of those things available through this website ? No. No they are not . It is very possible to seriously damage your anus/sigmoid colon trying to address this yourself. So don't!
Go to the ER. This is all currently fixable, and the worst you get is a visit from on call proctology.
>>29757898
Are you not determined to see this through?
While it may be a consequence of past idiocy, this does not change the fact that this barrier is to be broken for you to move on to a higher echelon of your existence.
Do not think of this as paying the price, think of it as a final exam, the boss battle for your life up to this point.
Everything you have done since this moment was in preparation to succeeded and triumph over this tribulation both the divine and the universe have pinned against you.
Will you falter and shatter?
No.
You will excel and rise above.
I just wanna sleep
The fact that their are people on here who are worse then me is a comforting feeling.
>>29758039
Oh shit didn't mean to namefag
>>29758039
Good we don't take kindly to namefagging round these parts....
>>29756625
BRRRAAAAPPPPPP!!!
PFFFTTTHHHHHH!!!!!
>>29756625
Hemorrhoids are hell, OP. I can't offer any advice that you won't find on the first page of Google results, but you have my sympathy.
Smooth Move Tea/Senna Leaf Tea is my last resort that always does the trick for me. It has worked for me every time, but I don't know what is stopping you up. If your stool is dry, you could get some abdominal cramps while it does it thing. I believe it works by stimulating your bowels, it does not loosen up your stool. When I've had to take it in the past, I passed these huge logs. And it could take 12 to 24 hours to work, depending on how backed up you are. This will probably work if you can't get anything else to work, though.
Also, stop eating to stuff to fix the problem. Anything you eat from now on is going to worsen the problem. Drink lots of water, lie down, or sit down in a reclining position by resting pressure on your lower back. Listen to relaxing music or do something that relaxes you. Watch your favorite movie. Try ASMR (autistic shit, might work).Audio books do the trick for me.
If you hadn't gotten backed up past the point of no return, I would have suggested eating food with boron and magnesium. Boron: raisins, red grapes, red wine, avocados. Magnesium: Prunes, avocados, barley/barley wine.
Good luck, my fellow bowel issue sufferer. This, too, shall pass.
OP here just woke up with a massive urge to shit but literally cant because of the anus being so swollen it just blocks it
I fucking touched it while trying again and its nothing but sponge anal wall trying to come out of my anal opening when I try to poop, so im going to stop trying now ill only cause more harm if I try to force it through the swollen blockage, will wait till morning to buy prep H
>>29758695
Ill try that tea some time anon but right now its not going thats the problem its getting the poop out, im gonna sleep again i cant have any bowel movment right now it wont go through
I may be able to help i have alot of these problems too but i dont shove shit up my ass like a faggot but i think my issues are still pretty bad but heres some things you could try.
1. No more pushing,straining, or trying to push this shit out. Its not helping. Stop it now.
2. You can try drinking lots of water. Im talking about 1 gallon a day. It can force water to come out your ass and it might actually help. You will experience diarrhea like symptoms but its just the water shooting out.
3. Laxatives go buy strong laxatives like MiraLax. You can get the dissolving powder or whatever else kind that they have. Its top of the line stuff.
4. Quit shoving shit up your ass you fucking degenrate at least for a while.
5. LIKE I SAID QUIT STRAINING AND PUSHING.
6. Eat fruits and vegetables and stuff. Stay away from anything that might upset your colon like candy and soda.
7. Only drink water for a while. Maybe some herbal tea. Actually caffeine or coffee might help you poop but i wouldnt recvomend trying that for a few days.
Sorry anon
Coffee and water mixed might help
>>29756625
apply ice
djdndnndnd
had this problem for around a year now, except it's not completely stuck, it just comes out as much as it can. i get the urge to shit often, but it goes away for a bit after i take a shit
>paid for a colonoscopy and they said my intestines were clean as a whistle
nigga i dont know what the fuck is wrong with me, guess ill try that prep h shit
being a degenerate is tough
thats what u get for being a weeb
OP here, woke up, immediately rushed to the bathroom, there was no holding back the reins this time and in one fell swoop out comes a fucking solid brown log that had to be at least a foot in length, reaching to the top edge of the toilet seat
And just like that there was total relief, but it pushed forcefully against the swollen anal wall so now I'm worried theres something there, maybe a tear or another hemerrhoid idk ill go see a doctor about it to be sure and get prescribed some actual medication for this
Will take the advice in this thread as well, thanks fellas, what a shitty night its been.
>>29756625
lol you have hemmerhoids
