What do people seriously mean when they say confidence is key?
People can't just sense confidence. And if they can, how does it make an ugly person attractive? It doesn't just suddenly change my bone structure, my skin complexion, etc.
>>29747816
no but conficndence makes you act with authority ove ryourself, and that can be important to have.
What an autistic question.
People can definitely sense confidence, and people on the whole, contrary to what read here, are more concerned with 'what's on the inside,' rather than physical appearance. The reason people perceive physically unusual people poorly generally has more to do with their insecure dispositions.
>>29747816
> be confident cause I know I'd make a decent bf
> my confidence is really just hope that things will turn out okay
> things don't turn out okay
> walk away with my dignity
> cry myself to sleep
>>29748017
why do you think physically unsual people have insecure dispositions you fucking retard
If you believe your own bullshit other people might too
>>29747816
you can see it.
it's stuff like
>posture
>eye contact
>amount of fidgeting/moving around
>facial expression (smiling and/or not looking like deer in headlights)
>skin quality and weight can give away low self esteem too because confident people take care of themselves and people who take care of themselves are confident
>dressing neatly or nicely (the actual fashion sense doesn't matter that much as long as the person appears comfortable and takes pride)
also stuff like
>being more relaxed when talking
>not taking everything so seriously
>being willing to speak up and say what you really think
>not over complimenting women or avoiding them totally
>joining in when there is a group instead of staying outside of it
there's probably more but the way i see it, confidence can't exactly make an ugly person attractive but it can make a woman think "he's okay with how he looks and who he is and that makes me more comfortable. i don't have to worry about hurting his feelings or walking on eggshells because he's secure in who he is whether he gets my approval or not."
it's basically that. you need to be able to have self-esteem without being validated. if you know you're "valuable" then she will know you're more "valuable" than you might appear to be based on looks alone. that is what makes someone attractive. not needing you to boost their ego. some guys who used to lack confidence make the mistake of going for arrogant asshole. that's not really the best because it turns people off easily. that will only work if the girl is an asshole too. lack of confidence frequently puts you into the orbiter zone, if you're not 10/10.
it's not as hard as it sounds once you really cultivate some confidence. that's the problem since it's hard to fake it properly. the best thing to do is form habits and a lifestyle that makes you feel good about yourself instead of making you feel worse. then, girls won't be these magical life fixers and the pressure's off both of you.
Confidence is fueled by competence. If you don't have any redeeming qualities, you won't have confidence. Make an effort to be more attractive with that you've got, and if that's not possible, just try to become a better person in any other way and build confidence on that.
>>29748017
>people as a whole are more concerned with 'what's on the inside'
This is more delusional than the robots here
>>29748056
because they place too much importance on looks and don't bother developing who they are as a person. then they think the rejection is based on looks instead of what it's really about.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2951724/Is-nurse-Disabled-man-22-able-bodied-girlfriend-describes-strangers-misconceptions-dates.html
this guy had girlfriend in pic related. doesn't look like they're together anymore but here's his new girlfriend.
http://laughingatmynightmare.tumblr.com/post/144482727136/dear-tumblr-im-excited-to-formally-introduce-you
ITT: People thinking exceptions make the rule
The confidence is for yourself, so you can actually interact with people without spilling spaghetti.
If you don't get nervous and shy you usually won't make mistakes and confidence help.
I'm going to say this for the 100th time on here. Girls are not attracted to confidence, they're attracted to good looking guys that are confident (because they know they're good looking)
You would be extremely confident if since middle school all the popular girls were fawning over you and trying to get your attention.
>>29748497
This. So much bullshit around /r9k/ that tries to tip toe around the fact that it doesnt matter what you do, all the matters is that you are attractive. It sounds like a meme but really thats it. Doesn't matter what hobbys or beliefs you hold, if you're attractive enough you can fawn over any women. Its how the world works. Ugly is evil and prettiness is good.
Well you can make confidence really obvious, for instance if you are able to flirt overtly, touch her shoulders and shit, then that is seen as confidence... no one is suggesting that you fucking tap into your chakras and produce an aura, you literally have to act differently.
I've been told I'm very good looking by many people. I'm also a 26 year old depressed chubby chaser with an amazing job and am absolutely horrible with women. I've had sex with 3.
My good friend is like 300 lbs, lives at home, works at a grocery store, no real hobbies other than video games and his girlfriends are always incredibly cute. He's a very confident and centered guy.
My roommate isn't the most attractive guy in the world, pretty nerdy but he's confident and his newest girlfriend is hot af.
>>29748354
>because they place too much importance on looks and don't bother developing who they are as a person.
I wonder why they put so much stock in looks in the first place
>>29748712
>absolutely horrible with women. I've had sex with 3.
Thats not how it works. How good you are is determined by your progress. Its like saying you are bad at cooking and then you go on and make some award winning meals.
Confidence indeed is everything
I have been a long-haired shut in introvert when I was 14. Got my first gf (very accidentally) when I was 17 without having any contact to females to that point. Over time I got confidence and it actually made me more attractive to other people.
>>29748629
oregano fag
>>29748767
One was an fairly cute brilliant asshole.
One was my slutty best friend
One was a cute nerd bbw with a boring personality
>>29748767
>Good with women
>Progress
Being good with women isn't about "progress," its about the ability to talk to them comfortably, easily, and often - while having the common sense not to be creepy (i.e. overly pushy and persistent).
People CAN sense confidence. Confidence can make an ugly person attractive because it indicates that they have strong character and are able to go out and get what they want, or at least try. Its about being socially uninhibited, without acting like a complete autist.
>>29748986
If you cant see whats wrong with
>Im bad with women, but I still can get laid like anyone who isn't bad with women
Then there isn't much that can help your mental retardation
