also

>be me about 23
>at pub wearing short sleeve shirt showing off steroid arms
>girl comes up squeezes arms says "wow you must be strong"
>put down my beer look her in the eyes and smile and say "my penis is quite small"
>she walks away
>later as i walk past her friends they all stare at me and i trip over the carpet and spill my pint on the floor

also

>be me about 9 months ago
>at new bar across the country finally confident enough to try again
>bar crawl by myself, at some german themed bar on a weds night
>group of girls come in and oh hello etc
>one of their friends goes to the toilet
>she comes back one pokes me and says "he said you are naughty"
>She smiles and looks at me "oooh why is that"
>i say "because you went to the non nappy change room"
>they all just kind of shut down and get away as fast as possible

>>29742953
>first year of uni
>go out to some shit club with some friends
>already pretty drunk
>meet up with a group of girls they all know that I've never met
>while two of them are talking, and me and some others are awkwardly hanging around the other girls not in the conversation, I notice one them is pretty fit
>afraid of accidentally getting blackout and creeping her out so. in my drunken autism, have a brilliant idea
>"hey you're pretty fit so if I see you later I might try and hit on you. Don't worry about though"
>hear that back to myself and immediately wonder what the fuck?
>she actually laughs and says it's fine
>when they go off, she looks at me and smiles before leaving
>proceed to get more wasted and don't see her again throughout the night
Good times

>>29743076

really man?

>be in year 10 high school
>friend is into anime
>decide i would try get into it too
>hentai follows
>decided one day that i would draw my own hentai
>start drawing hentai so badly so poorly it is impossibly to aptly explain
>like a blind quadriplegic baby drew it but with my skewed version of the girl i like at school's head poorly drawn too
>masturbate furiously
>come home one day
>mum and dad sitting at table with pile of scrunched up jizz tissues, yearbook and my crude drawings
>we need to talk.

>>29743076
That's kind of a good line actually. If this was my board I'd scream something along Reeeee but I'm a normie myself don't tell anyone

well fuck man start thread no one responds

>>29743581
Your stories made me laugh and cheered me up. I don't have any of my own though

Sorry

Normally I hate blog threads but this shit made me laugh

>>29743695

thanks man . i have so many more it's just that each one causes me to involuntarily make a noise like EGH to force the memory from my brain.

will try though. social awkwardness is a killer.

>Be 17, only time a girl was interested in me
>She's like 5/10 but really fucking annoying
>invite her over
>While i wait my stomach is going crazy with nerves
>No this isn't a fake shit myself on top of her or something story
>Go into my room and decide i can't let her see all my shit
>Keep imagining senarios where she calls me out on a particular book or dvd
>Spend an hour covering my bookcase, computer, pretty much everything in my room with clothes and blankets
>In between this take a massive shit in the toilet
>The time arrives
>I let her in and lead her upstairs
>She looks confused as fuck and asks me ''if i just moved in or something''
>laugh it off and basically force her face and mine together
>We make out for a bit
>She asks if she can use the toilet
>Suddenly can't remember if i flushed or not
>Say sure, let me just make sure it's all fixed we had some repairs done
>Go inside and lock the door, i did flush but it stinks
>open the window and start flailing a towel around to waft away the smell
>suddenly think to myself it sounds like i'm jacking off
>shout ''be out in a sec, i'm not jacking off or anything in here hahaha''
>literally said that
>about 10 minutes later i leave the bathroom and she's gonee

>browsing 4chan

thats my most autistic action

>>29742978
>she comes back one pokes me and says "he said you are naughty"
>She smiles and looks at me "oooh why is that"
>i say "because you went to the non nappy change room"
Say that again

another one

>lived in sydney for a year for work
>met girl on internet she comes to meet me
>says she loathes alcoholics
>proceed to drink 24x bottles of full strength beer in front of her yet make her laugh
>dont remember anything
>she says she wants to meet up again
>am drunk
>she pulls up in car after 45 min drive
>go to hug her
>both our heads go same way
>end up headbutting her in the nose
>begins to bleed
>say "hello my honey hello my baby hello my ragtime gal"
>no laughs
>go up to my room i lie on her and we watch films
>she starts to feel my cock
>say "i thought you wanted to watch spongebob
(after driving for 45 mins)
>she says "i like you"
>say "i like me too"
>she says " i had better go"
>i say "yes, i had better go too, day off work tomorrow and plan on knitting"
>she just kind of eyes down and leaves
>lying in bed eating chicken when it hits me
fuck.png

>>29743754

i dont know man. honestly i don't fucking know :(

>>29743741

AHAHAHAHHA

>>29743756
>full strength
Redundant

>>29743768
I mean I think you must've fucked that part of the story up. Please reiterate it.

>>29743756
you done fucked up nigga

>>29743834

no that is literally how it went. there are baby nappy change rooms in australia.