What is the most pathetic thing you have ever done, /r9k/?
Usually I have nothing but contempt for these beta orbiters, but the look on this guy's face makes me feel some pity. Nigga thot he was gonna get a kiss at least
>>29733720
Johnny is the kind of guy who has massive potential. But he was built to live for others. He has massive potential but not for himself but for someone who he cares for. He is the kind of guy who will give 100% for his oney. Most people don't even give 100% to anything they do. 10 out of 10 would husband.but i'm taken
>>29733803
>10 out of 10 would leech off of until he's a dried husk
FTFY
>>29733267
I can relate to the beta in your pic actually. I was a real fucking "nice guy"/beta orbiter
>Met a girl in high school
>average looks but she was nice to me througout the semester
>Fell in love with her instantly
>Started to follow her and do favors for her any time I can
>Do this for months and she's getting annoyed with me
>Have the tiniest sense of doubt and sense the bad side to everything Im doing, but ignore it because I thought that's how "love" works
>She starts to treat me like shit and call me out as a desperate loser that's ugly
>laugh it off as if she was joking
>Go home and start to cry myself to sleep about
>Sister kept telling me "Just stop hanging out with her"
>Wanted to but my desperation was strong as fuck
>Go to /adv/ and they tell me to just ask her out
>Never asked a girl out before in my whole 18 years of life
>Wrote a love letter and read it to her on at her house
>she act like she's surprised and says she'll think about it
>1 week later, she rejects me by text
>Decide to not see her again
>from then til this day, I shit my pants when we see each other out in the streets
Im 22 now, but Im still reminded how terrible I am with women. I am not as terrible as I was before, Im more cautious about I interact with them. There are women I do talk to like they're normal, but Im too damn shy and insecure to talk to a lot of them.sometimes I wish that alien fetus from the movie Alien would just rip up all my insides and kill me
>>29733828
lol no, ours would be more of a sun and moon relationship. He would be the light of my life and the planets are our babies. We're obviously be well off enough since we have so many kids so I wouldn't need to leech. Just bask in the glow really.
wrote love letters to a 16 year old girl on /soc/
I was 26 at the time
cringe just thinking about it.
>>29733943
>wrote love letters to a 16 year old girl on /soc/
>I was 26 at the time
Fuck off, pedo
>>29733943
Would you please share some of the contents of these letters? I promise I won't laugh or make fun or you.
>>29733267
I remember this guy was a legit meme for a while.
Post this while at a party next too a qt who I have no idea how to talk with.
>>29733837
the more girls you ask out the easier it gets, guaranteed from experience here
>>29733997
when she posted pics of her and her bf to ridicule me I deleted everything related to her.
that includes the love letters.
and it is not worth remembering.
>>29733837
Man, I had a pretty similar time of it in high school.
Just imagine, if anyone at all had given you some advice on how it all works things would have been so different...
Maybe it's the kinda thing that you just don't really learn being raised by a single mom?
Whatever the case, it makes me sorta mad.
>>29734020
>the more girls you ask out the easier it gets
There is truth to that, but I rather not. I've noticed I've gotten a lot better at talking/flirting with girl, but every rejection and bad experience I had with women feels like Im inferior. It totally shot down my self esteem. I get intimidated by a lot of women.
>>29734057
ouch, what a painful lesson. ;(
>>29734090
>Just imagine, if anyone at all had given you some advice on how it all works things would have been so different...
Right? I had to go on 4chan , of all places , to tell me what to do. I had nobody to tell me good advice about women, not even my dad. I wish I had a Chad brother to tell me how to not be a beta at least. Watching Disney-tier programs and listening to women is NOT the way to go
>back in HS, fight some wrestler kid then suddenly semi popular
>popular girl hits on me
>think its a trick reject her
>she slaps me in front of every one, including teacher
>nothing happens to her
>accept her
>wants me to call her
>girl never answers her phone
>Insist she wants to go out with me, to call her at 2 AM because thats when shes up
>think nothing of it because don't understand people
>she does not pick up
>ask me to call again cause she was asleep
>her "real" BF answers, hes pissed off, later found out hes like in his 20's dating a 16 year old
>she wants me to try calling her again
>no im done
>Later I am called an asshole by people for ignoring her
>Go back to reserved self who hates every one
Luckily I have never done something as beta again, I should have stuck with the initial rejection. I am always suspicious of women.
>>29733267
>ask out oneitis
>she plays it off as a fucking joke
>mfw
Wouldn't really say it's pathetic, but that shit is what smacked the robot button within me.
>>29733837
>sometimes I wish that alien fetus from the movie Alien would just rip up all my insides and kill me
iktf anon
>>29733267
JOHNATHAN YOU'RE SUCH A GREAT GUY
CHAD YOU GOT CUM IN MY EYE!
I've been desperately attached to my ex even though it's been 1.5 years since we've dated. I went over to her place tonight and ate dinner with her, buy now am trying to cut off all communication with her for her sake.
It sucks, she was truely a friend and now I have nobody to confide in.
>>29733267
It's not the most pathetic but it's very close. I mean I used to have a Facebook with people that I know.. About 300 people max... But I've never ever put my real name on that. Or pictures of myself. So one day Facebook blocked my account because " fake profile" ...
I didn't want to create a new Facebook and add people explaining to them my situation and why I was banned. So I create a new one with a name like
Steven whysosad or Steven whatsthematter or some shit like that. But I didn't add anyone. So I was only on groups, reading news then suddenly on a group of people some qt add me on fb.. So I accept her, send a message to her. And she instantly delete me from her friends list.
>>29734218
>I am always suspicious of women.
Same here bro. I feel like they're out to get me or something. When I get asked out or a chick calls me cute, I immediately think she's playing a trick on me.
>Ask girl I wasn't really interested in, at all, to go to prom
>She say yes
>Asks me "are we going as friends, or....?"
>Say "f-f-riends, t-tee-hee"
In retrospective, I COULD'VE had my first gf right there if I said as a couple or something
>She asks me for kik
>I don't even know what it is, but make one
>She tells me all sort of shit that's wrong with her life
>She cuts herself, has been raped, is bullied by all family, etc
>Start to really like her even though I used to think she was ugly
>Go to prom
>I'm a little awkward, can't really dance, but still manage to have fun
>Even slow dance, she puts her head in my shoulders and cries, while I tell her everything's ok or something like that
>She gets fucked up at a party after prom, I leave her there because I wasn't into drugs or alcohol then
Shouldn't have left her there desu, but it wasn't a big deal at all.
>Later she gets a girlfriend
>We graduate
>Go to her birthday party like 10 days after graduation
>She's in her room with GF while I sit in living room with no one to talk to cause I don't know her family
>Leave without telling her
>Send super cringy email
>>29734849
This is the email.
For two weeks I decided to be homeless and walk the streets around where my oney works. I was hoping she would see me and offer me food so we could talk and eat together. Eventually I did bump into her in front of a massage parlor in another part of town. She was waiting there to pick up her succubus of a gf who's birthday it was. She did end up offering me a bag of chex mix before hopping in her car and zooming away forever. I refused the chex mix and went hungry for another week.
>gf breaks up with me and starts seeing her ex again, but we're still kinda involved with each other
>one night she wants me to stay the night again
>I can see the other guy's cum stains on my side of the bed and I ignore it and lie down there
>I try to turn her on but she's not having it
>go in the bathroom and masturbate while she texts the other guy
>go to sleep on other guy's cum stains
To be fair I eventually cucked him back pretty hard. I don't think it makes up for how pathetic that was though.
>freshman year of high school
>be friends with some girl
>massive slut so I thought I had a chance
>dead wrong
>too retarded to flirt or figure out if she's into me
>tell her on the last day of school I like her
>she laughs her ass off
>hang out with her for another month and a half
Never again.
>>29734246
>rock button
I regret existing. Kill me, please.
I shaved my left leg just to feel what a girl's leg might feel like.
>>29735141
Oh shit, also
>one night we're fighting physically, but like in a consensual, fight club kind of way because we're bored
>we decide to go do it in public for more of a thrill
>I'm scared of how people will react if I hit her in public, so I just let her hit me in the face again and again until my face is bloody and bruised
>she tries to get me angry enough to hit her back by saying that the other guy fucks better than me and she slept with him that day, and calls me a bitch
>>29734849
>>29734888
Jesus fucking christ bro
>>29734981
>For two weeks I decided to be homeless
Oh c'mon now
>>29735141
She's a massive, MASSIVE whore, she probably laughs at the two of you to this day. At least the other dude is pretty pathetic too bro
>>29733994
I assumed she was older than that.
>>29734104
kinda, but I needed it to kill any lingering feelings.
I fucked a fat girl I met on tinder, made a thread about it on here, and the story got on the front page of leddit so now the whole world knows about it.
It was pretty fucking funny though.
>>29734849
>>29734888
I want to say this is cringe but really it just makes me feel bad for you.
>>29735487
got a link or something?
Date a dumb teen. Seriously not worth it.
>>29735535
>>29735468
There's more pages, should I post them?
>>29735549
https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/4r66fo/robot_finally_finds_a_qt_to_take_his_virginity
Fucking ledditors man.
I just forgave my gf for cheating on me
>>29735604
Pls do tell pls
>>29735594
Hahaha holy fucking shit bro you're fucking gorgeous how the fuck that was your only option. Can you come to brazil and be my gay boyfriend?
>>29735552
Would you happen to be a ginger by the name of Dan? I know someone who comes here that did something that stupid.
>>29735617
Basically she went on a huge European cruise tour and fucked some random guy one time because he made her feel special. She felt really bad about it and i know im in love with her. Did i make the right choice?
>>29735535
>>29735468
>>29735570
Here's the 3rd page. 2 more to go, fuck.
>>29735379
Once I let a girl shave my legs. Didn't even want to fuck her, just did it because she asked me to. Never doing that shit again.
>>29735594
>https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/4r66fo/robot_finally_finds_a_qt_to_take_his_virginity
kek
least tell me it was a SUPER burrito
>>29735594
>>29735487
Yeah YEAH I was in that thread.
Look, for what it's worth, YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE ! You're 18, you didn't have to rush at all. You're basically a kid. You didn't have to lower your standards. Just get a social circle, a job, and get more active. You'll get pussy that way......holy fuck man geez you're going to regret what you did everyday to that beast oh gawd...
>>29735665
Not him but I agree that it is a REALLY stupid thing to do.
>>29735379
hurts man...
why it gotta be this way
>>29734659
You're story was an uninteresting waste of my time.
>>29735677
Honestly, bro? You're pathetic, yeah, and she's a whore or you're a pretty bad boyfriend, but you are in love, so fuck it, as long as you're happy I guess.
But tbqhfm, you should cheat on her. Just to get the power equal.
>>29735677
Not as bad as it could be. That's still a really bad sign though. Don't come crying to us when it happens again.
>>29735723
Alright never mind. One day I'll find Dan on here. One day.
>>29735747
I treat her right. We always go on dates i pay for with my shitty job ans i do my best to make it good for her. I dont want to feel used
>>29735692
The cringe was real in this page.
>>29735677
If you love her then forgive her. This happened to me before. I decided to forgive her, even though I felt angry and betrayed. Now the trust has been built again and she treats me as though she'd never do such a thing
>mom tells me to go do the laundry
>we live in an apartment so multiple people use the same laundry room
>put clothes in washer
>hot chick is putting her clothes in the dryer
>gaze at her tight ass before leaving
>come back 40 minutes later to put my clothes in the dryer
>accidentally open her dryer
>see her panties
>have the urge to sniff them even though it isn't my fetish and I never even think about stuff like this
>resist and continue setting up my dryer
>about to leave
>immediately run back and take a quick whiff
Idk how bad it is but I felt really disgusted with myself. Still do.
>>29735769
>I dont want to feel used
But you ARE being used. You're being loyal an unloyal whore
>>29735769
Oh then go fuck your fucking self bro. You fucking piece of shit, you fucking PROVIDE everything to her, tries to make her feel good and she goes ahead and cheats on you? What the fuck was she even doing in a cruise all by herself?
Let me fucking tell you this bro; why did you think she went to that cruise all by her fucking self? Oh, she went with friends you say? Even fucking worst, I bet they badmouthed you the entire time.
"Oh yeah girl, go get Chad's dick, your bf will never know"
Fuck her and fuck you for enabling her. You fucking work WAY too hard to spend money on a fucking whore. Tell her to go fuck herself right now, DO IT
>>29735776
I was a lonely high school kid who had never had much interaction with girls, I obsessed trying to help her or whatever and just oneitis over her for like 3 months. My use of the word gay was because we used that word to refer to each other about everything.
Anyways, I'm still a loner and haven't had a girlfriend, almost had one but she moved away. I stopped COMPLETELY being an orbiter like that though, now I'm the "lovable asshole," because while I sometimes do nice things for people, I'm also pretty asshole-ish and don't refrain for calling girls out on their stupid shit.
>>29735783
b-but was in the dryer, so, her smell wasn't there anymore, was it?
>>29735783
Fuck, I thought I hadn't done anything pathetic but you made me remember
>have crush on girl for years
>we hang out sometimes, just friends though
>move into dorm for college
>get one of those tiny trash cans for the bathroom
>no roommate so I literally only put qtips in it
>crush comes over one day and I show her my oculus rift
>She goes home
>Later that night I'm in the bathroom
>There's something in my trash can
>It's wrapped in toilet paper
>I unwrap it
>It's a menstrual pad with a few flecks of blood
>Knowing this is the closest I'll ever get to her vagina, sniff it and masturbate furiously
>>29735747
>>29735769
>>29735781
Listen man, I'm going to be straight with you. You need to approach with caution if she's going to gain back her trust.
I had a girl tell me she cheated and she was sorry about it, I forgave her because I was inexperienced and believed it wouldn't happen again, and then it happened a lot with a couple of other people. I'm not saying your gf is like that necessarily, but you need to step back and evaluate what the fuck you're doing without letting your emotions get in the way.
I'm just trying to save you from being put on an emotional rollercoaster by this chick.
>>29735651
It's a bit of a long story but basically I was going to go on a date with another girl later in the week and probably lose it to her, but she didn't reply to my text in a few days so I thought it was over. I felt bad about myself because of that so I went on tinder and swiped girls. I accidentally swiped right on this one and saw she was DTF so I figured what the hell since I was ready to lose it.
Turns out the other girl was just busy for fourth of july and I could've waited 5 more days. Very short sighted decision. I should've jacked off or something.
>>29735699
Carnitas p dank.
>>29735707
On the bright side it boosted my confidence greatly.
I was jealous of my friends who all have had sex by 18 and I was the odd man out. I just wanted to get it done before I started college. I regret it but I know how to laugh at myself.
>>29734849
>>29734888
>>29735692
>>29735776
>>29735836
>>29735836
She never answered back, did she? What you wanted her to say?
>>29735919
She did answer back, she begged me to keep talking and shit. We kept texting each other for like 3 months, taking longer and longer each time to reply back, until we stopped. It's been 3 years since.
I am boy, and sometimes when I get really horny and jerk off, I feel lilke trying things.
I put on my mother's lingerie and then created a snapchat to send it to people, a married man loved me, and plenty other.
These days I just jerk off as quick as can before doing something stupid like this. But the attention was fun.
>>29735570
to expand more on the homeless thing, i had just graduated high school. Had really let my grades slip senior year so disinvited to college i had previously intended to go to. The day I graduated my dad came and gave me a lecture about adulthood and expected me to pay rent. I had no job so i told him i was moving in with some friends. Obviously a lie because i have no friends. So I was already homeless, it wasnt until the second day that i decided to lurk around oneitis' workplace. I'm a NEET who lives with mommy now though.
>>29735902
haha holy shit man
at least you're a good sport about it
>>29735468
last post was for you. my bad
>>29735882
Fembots, this is why you never leave anything at a robot's house. Jesus Christ.
>>29735852
It was kinda feint and it mostly just smelled like clean clothes. It was the act of invading someone's privacy an acting like a creep that made me feel bad though.
>>29735882
Haha oh man that's crazy. Do you still see her?
>>29736019
>>29736064
I'm glad mommy got you back anon, I hope your life gets better. Seriously.
>>29734539
that hurt to read
>>29733837
you're not terrible with women, she's just a terrible woman
>>29736077
I dropped out and then she graduated high school and moved away. Last I checked she was dating some rich Chad with a family villa
>>29736097
thanks anon you're a real sweetheart. sadly we both know what happens to people of my caliber
>>29736171
Dude you should go back to school. I can't imagine how much harder life must be.
>>29733267
Every attempt I've ever made to start a relationship with a woman is the most pathetic thing I've ever done. I really don't want to go into details because it would dredge up painful memories and I'm already feeling down enough today.
>>29735426
>one night we're fighting physically, but like in a consensual, fight club kind of way because we're bored
what the fuck??? gonna need more details here, anon. how far did you go with this shit? how did it come about?
>>29733943
>HE DIDN'T EVEN DEVELOP A TURBOCRINGE RUNE ALPHABET AND WRITE HER WHOLE LETTERS IN IT
>>29736229
pretty pls anon? we're all sharing
>>29734218
I could never trust people in school. 2 or 3 years of being sperg-tier meant I never believed any normie comming at me in seeming friendship
>>29735897
if the opportunity exists to cheat then she will cheat. she'll be mad about a dream she had. Something you don't remember saying and likely never happened. Or she just randomly feels like she could use a strangers cock that day.
Unless she lives in constant dread that you'll drop her and upgrade she will eventually manufacture a reason to cuck you
>>29736524
>if the opportunity exists to cheat then she will cheat
I truly do believe in this. Even the most loyal gf in the world will cheat under the right circumstances, what pisses me off the most is that she KNOWS the dude is lying to her just to bang her, but yet she does it.
She does it only to break your heart, only to know that she HAS that much power over you.
>>29735835
>https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/4r66fo/robot_finally_finds_a_qt_to_take_his_virginity
this tbqh
>>29736688
how the fuck did that url end up there
>>29733267
I once friendzoned a girl that genuinely might have been into me. I couldn't tell. She was both acting weird at times while also it seemed like I was the beta orbiter. The question if I liked her came up from one of her friends, and I confidently said 'Nope, just a friend'. I think the information leaked over to the girl so we never really kept as close.
I think it's to do with my massive easily harmed ego honestly. What I was thinking at the time was sure I definitely wouldn't get a girlfriend with that line but at least I wouldn't have to risk and face public humiliation. No idea, I just have this obsession that it's better sometimes to surrender and lose by your own accord than to be humiliated in defeat.
It's been years and I sometimes still think back on what she really meant by what she was doing.
>>29736734
I know this feel, except that I didn't wanna to friendzoned her I just didn't have the balls, and when I did wanna it was too late.
Now that I am a bit more experience I get so mad at myself. Fuck, there were so many cute girls that were into me, and I fucked up all my chances by not having fucking balls.
>massive easily harmed ego honestly
This too. I just can't deal with someone thinking is better than me.
>>29736884
Yeah, I have this thing where if something has a high chance of failure, I just don't do it. I analyse things and see if there's a high or low success chance. What drove my fear in this case was that she rejected even Chad-level guys. Pretty high maintenance even if average looks. So I thought, shit, if those guys failed then why should I get humiliated when I can look high and mighty above Chad?
Like I said, I have the mentality that I'd rather not play something than risk looking like a loser by trying and failing. I'm respected for being a cold asshole that gets shit done at where I worked during that time, and still am at whatever I do. Asshole that knows his shit and is often looked up to for advice. I was afraid that my appearance would break down and I'd be known as 'that romantic lol' and the respect for me would cease.
I blacked out while sucking my own dick, had my family break down the bathroom door while I was unconscious and was found like that before they had an ambulance rush me off to a hospital.
Full ass naked curled up with my back to the toilet set with my dick hanging in / just above my mouth, out cold.
>>29737082
This is the only thing that made me cringe ITT. Everything else is just "WAAAAHHH STACY WON'T FUCK ME WAAAAAHHHHH".
I've told this story before but it's really pathetic so here it is again
>sophomore year of high school (3 years ago)
>girl liked me a lot
>texted me every day, she was always the first one to text
>was quiet weird indie girl with good taste in music
>we hung out all the time, went skating, went on little coffee date things, made me a couple gift things, go to concerts together, etc. (she was usually the one who asked)
>dropped all these little hints that I was too beta to realize (one was she always complained how she was single/lonely and wanted someone to ask her out but never named anyone specific, kept pressuring me to tell her who i had a crush on)
>would post about her in feel threads asking for advice and every time 4chan said she obviously wanted my dick
>still didn't listen because was too beta, didn't want to ruin friendship
>started reading advice from /fit/ and /r9k/ on what to do because I was an idiot
>started acting like an asshole, ignoring her texts, ignoring her in the hallway, etc.
>she eventually stopped talking to me after she asked what I thought of her haircut and I said it made her look like a man
>supposed to be an alpha "negging" joke or whatever
>her and her friends hate me and make fun of me the rest of high school
>tried to start a conversation with me in the hallway senior year asking how i've been, all I say is something like "you still taking that class? i would have but its too hard" without looking her in the eye then walk away
>overhear her telling her friend "did you see that? awkward"
>she got way hotter by senior year, valedictorian and is going to prestigious med school across the country
>haven't talked to any girls since
The worst part was, she never dated anyone all 4 years of high school either.
>>29737123
Hey man, at least Stacy didn't fuck me because I rejected her. It's a slight improvement.
Never got people being this desperate for pussy.
I've usually always given girls the cold shoulder if I found out they had any kind of involvement with another guy or was a slut.
So that meant I've never had a girlfriend despite having multiple chances to do so.
Bought a girl an HDTV trying to impress her. She got a bf the next week.
I hate that memory. Desperation does things to you.
>>29737151
Holy shit son, I mean, holy shit. Where the fuck were your friends man? At least one cocksucker should have told you. Jesus christ think about how happy you could have been.
Fuck fuck fuck I'm so sorry
I lost my virginity to a prostitute. Yes, it was pathetic, but it would have been more pathetic to remain a virgin.
>>29737123
Idk man sniffing the period pad was pretty bad.
>>29736165
Nah, he just did all the wrong things, and she gave a typical response.
My parents once paid a girl to go to the prom with me. Before that I was going to her parents house for dinner the day before. In the middle of the meal I had to take a massive shit, all the pent of paranoia and anxiety had twisted my stomach into a wicked knot of foul butt brew. Knowing I was going to shit something louder than Zeus's wrath I snuck upstairs to use a more distant bathroom.
I unleashed what can only be called a nether region hellspawn, giving birth to some foul fucking creature not meant for this world. A fucking spray of liquid acidic burning volcano shit stew flying out of my ass at high velocity.
For the life of me I have no idea WHAT happened next. But after flushing the toilet immediately clogged. I couldn't find a fucking plunger in these backwards savages bathroom. I gave it a moment, it seemed to calm and flushed again.
Then water fucking endlessly spouted forth all the way past the top of the bowl and onto the floor. Like a diarrhea fountain overflowing everywhere.
Being the completely bitchmade autist that I was, I threw towels fruitlessly into the bowl which achieved nothing except causing a subsequent bigger geyser after they ruptured.
Knowing shame I chose to climb out the fucking second story window from one of the bedrooms, drop down and hurt the fuck out of my ankle.
I proceeded to hobble to my car and drive the fuck off, got home and unplugged the phone line and never went back to school.
The dinner wasn't even that good.
>>29737391
hahaha tbqhfm I think you did the right thing
>>29737391
I pissed all over my female friend's bathroom once. I sat down and i guess her toilet had a gap between the seat and the bowl because all my urine got on the floor.
Worst part is I didn't notice. I found out later when I got home and she texted me "Did you piss on my floor? My mom made me clean it up"
Blocked her and stopped going to school for a week.
I haven't moved on from my ex. It's been 4 years. I guess that's pathetic
>>29733267
Dumb whore doesn't even know her beta "friend's" name.
Johnny is a nickname for John. Jonathan (not "Johnathan") is a completly different name.
Fuck women.
>>29737445
>Worst part is I didn't notice. I found out later when I got home and she texted me "Did you piss on my floor? My mom made me clean it up
Holy shit.. I just cringed hard. I'm so sorry that happened to you man. I'd probably kill myself after something like that.
when i was 2nd or 3rd grade a drew a girl a picture and gave it to her during recess. later on, i saw it on the ground. from then on, i stopped doing things for girls affection.
>>29737445
My fucking aunt yelled at me once for peeing on her bathroom floor when I was like 8. I didn't even fucking do it. Bitch gave me an entire lecture about men not missing the toilet.
My uncle or my cousin set me the fuck up.
>>29733267
Lied to my mom about going to college for a year.
Pretended to have a gf for a year so she would leave me alone about it.
Said I was going out with friends when really I'd just drive around for a few hours.
2012-2013 were some really shitty years for me.
>>29737594
>Said I was going out with friends when really I'd just drive around for a few hours.
This is something pretty common here actually.
>>29735835
This
Fuck her anon, nail that pussy hard then whilst she is lay there covered in your cum call her a slut and tell her too get her shit and leave, tell her that you have a new girlfriend you have been seeing for the past few months (doesn't matter if it's a lie) and that she is hot, and the final straw was when you realized how shitty she was in bed. She will be insecure for the rest of her days, when you break up with her point out all of her flaws one by one.
Fuck that bitch.
>>29737151
Holy shit man you just had to make the 20-yard kick to win the Super Bowl and you shanked it. My balls drove all the way up to my groin just reading that. I mean on one hand that makes me feel real bad for you but at the same time you fumbled at the goal line. I mean have you redeemed yourself since then?
>>29737082
Hardest I've laughed all week but that sucks bro.
>>29737445
Same to you my dude that sucks.
Boast with pride to everybody about my online love.
I was a piece of retardation I tell ya.
>>29733267
crying during masturbation probably
>>29737524
I used to forget to flush toilets as a kid after I shat
my parents tried beating me but I kept doing it
So they made a crown out of paper with the words "royal flusher on it"
and basically they'd call me whenever they'd taken a shit or piss so I could flush it for them
even made up a song which they sang when calling me
>"Oh Royal Flusher, this one's a Gusher, a real big Turd! Oh royal flusher won't you flush her? Please flush my poo away"
I fucking hate my parents
>>29738684
That's actually hilarious though. Your family is a bunch of absolute savages.
>>29738717
yeah it's really hilarious except to child me who basically wanted to die every single time I heard the song
I was maybe 5
Dated a Stacy for 6 months just to have somewhere to live. I'm a homeless robot. This was 2 months ago.
>>29733994
>16
>pedo
man that is a real shitty meme you have there
>>29738811
but on the other hand, grounding the meme force by pointing out how fucking shitty and awful it was gave me dub dubs, so thank you for that
>>29738756
Did you ever learn to flush after yourself though?
>>29733267
lick my gfs asshole right after she took a shit
that's how I know I'll never get cucked since no one's got as little self respect as me to do what shes into, checkmate chad
>>29739985
You have a gf that likes degrading you with her ass? So lucky
