Assume im a cute girl looking for a boyfriend. Now try -if you are interested- to sell yourself as best as you can.
Go!
>>29730945
I floss everyday.
i'm not interested in you unless you'll kill me
>>29730945
imagine for a second that im a stealth assassin. now try -if you are interested- to save yourself as best as you can
I have a thick, seven-inch schlong.
I can jump good.
>>29730953
04/10
>>29731061
10/10
Original contenr thigntrfjfbt
>>29731012
0/10
>>29731040
6/10
>>29731017
2/10
Sorry already have a girlfriend.
I am an abusive asshole with money and rich parents.
>>29730945
I usually fuck on the first date
>>29730945
I have seduced many women on omegle
>>29730945
I'm not actually a robot
>>29730945
Want to catch a movie together sometime?
>>29732028
>Ohh, teehee! What movie are you going to take me to, Anon?
>>29732124
I was thinking we could go see something romantic, just the two of us.
eyy bb u wnt sum fuk?
>>29732124
I was thinking we could stay home. I've got a great historical piece that I'd think you love --- Adolf Hitler - The Greatest Story NEVER Told. What do you think?
hello, assuming you're who you say you are which like 8.5/10 you're not i'd buy you some din dins even though i'm currently unemployed. you might even get dessert if you play your cards right (bring ketamine pls).
>>29730945
This won't work because if I was going to try to sell myself to you I'd want to make it special. But without any knowledge of who you are, I can't personalize my approach.
>>29732280
>how to sell a pen
You would not pass an interview
Hehe hey. I'm really fucking ugly. Like hideous. I hope you can look past that. I don't have any other good qualities really. I'm fairly mean and I'll probably inadvertently insult you several times on our date. Hehe. Anyway I can't wait to meet you :)
> try to sell yourself as best as you can.
Sadly I actually understand that relationships actually happen when people naturally interact with each other and find each other attractive, not because they can "sell themselves" like it's some gf/bf bazaar
I'm a 5' 6" multi-millionaire manlet. Blue eyes and nevrr had a long-term gf
>>29732388
Selling a pen and forming a romantic relationship are two very different things.
I'm skinny, depressed and lonely.
Just take me already.
I can be your pet boy
im the handsomest guy on 4chan
>>29730945
Hey qt can you help me tie this noose?
I want to finally do something properly.
>>29730945
im a human bean
>>29730945
You know what they say, Assumptions make an Asshole and I want to fuck it.
>>29730945
Lets just go with some stats since I can't package myself down into some abstraction to sell to people.
6 foot height
~160 pounds, lost weight recently but I used to do a lot more lifting so I am still slightly muscular.
7.5"length x 5.5" girth penis
Northern European genetics, Scandinavian and British Isles of various types.
Glasses and a normal average face, not ugly or handsome.
INTP personality type
Well there you go, so you can rate me based on that.
Rate me as low as you like, I already love myself.
>>29730945
I can't sell myself. I don't have anything to sell.
What pisses me off is there's a girl I like but I don't want to message her because inevitably it WILL end in the Friendzone. Like, unless I man up and actually say "Hey you wanna go out sometime" I'll just spend time "getting to know her" and I'm not about that shit.
>>29732417
Not really.
The principles of salesmanship stay the same regardless of what you're selling. You just gotta know how to appeal to them.
>>29734399
It may sound trite but you got to trust me that this is true and is talked about by the wisest of philosophers.
You have to love yourself to love others.
Once you love yourself then you will have no problems with being in a relationship with someone you love. If you hate yourself, and you are dating someone you love, that's going to be a problem. If you love the woman then you wouldn't want her to be with someone you hate, right? There you go, problem solved. You are your own best friend right? You love your friends right? There is a good mean between narcissism and hating yourself that you should go for.
I lift large appliances such as washers/dryers/ovens/fridges by myself without tools on a daily basis.
>>29734434
I disagree. I think that approaching romantic relationships from the same perspective as business ones is a flawed tactic. Maybe it works for you personally, but I've only had success by getting to know the girl and taking things from there. Albeit I'm arguing assuming that a relationship is the end goal. I'll concede that a good elevator pitch can probably get you laid.
>>29730945
im an okay guy, sometimes.
>>29730945
You're on r9k...on WashedUpHasBeen-chan...late at night...on the most normie of normiest filter holidays....
...expecting anybody to have a reason to "sell their self" to you? Without posting the mandatory tits?
Hahahahahaaa fuck out of here
>>29730945
I go on /r9k/ every so often, just because it reminds me of a brief period where I was borderline depressed and how I was able to get out of that state. The first fucking thing I see is a thread where some basement dwelling fuck is role playing as a "qt grill haha xd" and trying to coax other basement dwelling fucks into typing things they may think a member of the opposite sex would like about them.
Wow. Looking from the outside in, this is really, really sad.
For all of you that feel like you could do something with your life, do it. Just go out and fucking do something instead of sulking to yourself every fucking day and night on an anonymous image board that's overrun with depressed borderline-suicidal fucks.
And for those that feel as though they can't? Go out and do something anyway, you may surprise yourself. Find a hobby, learn an instrument, go back to school. Hell, I'm only just going into college after leaving high school and some of you miserable assholes are past 30 years old.
Sure, I don't have a girlfriend (and never have lol), and sure I'm a virgin, but that doesn't fucking matter. None of it does if you don't even ATTEMPT to apply yourself.
I don't know what you've been through that brought you here, but just get over it.
A lot of the "normies" you see probably have just as many internal demons and struggles as you, so get the fuck off this board and DO SOMETHING POSITIVE WITH YOUR LIFE.
>>29734705
I'm not actually looking for a gf here though, I mean it never happens and I think most people know that.
I swim competitively. Fly stroke.
Also am a cute teenager with short brown hair.
>>29734889
I wish I swam, no motivation to.
Tennis all my life.
>>29735597
Thats actually funny that you say that, I started playing tennis in my off season just last year. Also you should try swim, its really fun and easy to get into :)
I'm a shortish white neet skeleton that will cuddle you literally all day if you want. We can play vidya and you can cling to me when we watch horror movies.
>>29734889
miles get off 4chan
>>29735780
Not your guy pal
Sorry but nobody I know goes on 4chan, all my friends are normies~
>>29730945
Lets do acid and fuck and talk about hetti shit
Hey babe, I'm a meme master. I know the memes. I live the meme. Memes are my life.
I can let you peek at my massivememe collectionif you're good and do what I tell you
Just read.
>>29735711
you sound like my ideal girlfriend anon
>>29735966
Does your ideal girlfriend have an average length slightly above average girth cock?
>>29730945
I promise i won't hit you too much if you swallow the whole thing
I won't rape you aswell, as long as you beheave like a good girl
I won't fucking kill you as long as you stay away from other people
and last but not leasti will be original as fuck but only if you stop shitposting, you fucking worthless piece of shit
sounds good?
gimme a call if you like my offer otherwise throw yourself down a well
k thx luv u bb bai
>>29736024yesyou're the bottom though
>>29736085
You wanna bet?I'm too straight. Better luck next time.
>mfw I just realized that I don't even know how I would go about approaching this
I am literally speechless. Chances are I would get too nervous and just ignore it because I don't know what the fuck I am doing.
>>29736107going too straight to my bed
>>29736139
Not this guy friendo. You'll have to find a cakeboy somewhere else.
>>29736139
I can do the job
But you have to live in my countryajua
I'm fat and lonely and I'm almost sure to disappoint.
how does a bi boy who acts mainly straight get a gf?
I always end up hanging up with straight guys who talk about wimyn, and I play along. I just don't act gay and people rarely suspect I'm gayMe kissing boys is a huge giveaway though
But, for real, how do I meet qt gay guys without going to gay clubs?
>>29736460
oh fuck sorry this is not the gay thread. Move along guys, nothing to see here
>6'0
>green eyes
>slightly lower than 7 penis
I like anime but not weeb tier shit. If you love cats then it isn't going to work, dogs only.
>obese
>no personality
>ugly
>can't do anything
>no marketable skills so you're going to have to be the bread winner
>weeb
>I can sort of clean well I guess
I'm a catch
I don't lie. And I can safely bet you will fall in "love" with me due to how affectionate I can be.
Now sell yourself to me because I'm done giving out my affection for free to get false love and lies.
