>at bowling alley and there is some weird crowd gathering on the other side
>look to my left and see a 8/10 blonde stacy that is taller than me
>say fuck it and walk up to
>make eye contact say "hey what is going on over there"
>she turns away
>I walk away
>>29717071
Pretty fucking spergy, sperglord. Keep it up.
>>29717134
https://youtu.be/OR6AV9yJPoM
never done it dearimasu
highschool was fun
>chav girl with big tits sits to the left of me
>literally about 5 foot tall, thin, must be about an F cup. things are huge
>playfully elbow her in the tit "by accident" while messing around
>she loves the cheekiness
>do it again one day
>"i know you're just trying to touch my tits you pervert"
>see my chance
>"well I'd ask politely but I know you're too scared of these things it so I have to be sneaky"
>tuts, "as if I'm scared of something like that"
>she took the bait
>i DARE you to let me grab them with both hands
>agrees
>I am diamonds
>get two big handfulls, first time I've felt tits
>literally cum hands free, no joke
to this day I have neither touched a woman, nor managed to cum hands free. being young was the closest to chad I ever got
>>29717422
And nothing else happened? You dun goofed, mang. You sperged out when you should have continued.
>>29717472
yeah there were a lot of opportunities I missed in high school. a girl I was briefly courting literally offered to let me fuck her and I chickened out and dumped her
>>29717298
I don't feel like clicking on that.
>>29717071
>>make eye contact say "hey what is going on over there"
i fucking lost it
what is actually wrong with you?
I've never tried to hit on a girl in my life
>Approach cute shy girl in class
>She shrinks ack in her chair and scratches at her arms
>Ask her what her film is about she says it's not finished and blushes
>Tell her she has a cute smile
>she looks down at the ground
>Ask her if she wants to get a coffee with me
>She blurts out "no I don't like coffee"
>uhh okay
>Hear her call herself stupid as I'm walking away.
>>29717071
>hitting on girls when I can't even talk properly
Good one OP
>>29717561
Sorry to burst your ego bubble, but she was calling you stupid, which you are.
>spot a hot girl waiting for Chad bf downtown
>go up to her and say "I have to say you have a beautiful body, your ass and tits are fantastic..."
>she goes "thank you..." and looks away
>what the fuck? I thought she would have slapped me
>I go harder
>"the things I'd do to that ass...oh my god..."
>"I said thank you...my boyfriend is coming right there though"
>I walk away confused as fuck
Why didn't she slapped me? I'm a 9/10 but I still think she should have slapped me or told me to fuck off
>>29717561
she was calling you stupid. sorry to break it to you
>>29717585
No, I thought that too. But she approached me later and said she had an anxiety disorder.
>>29717598
Why didn't you put that in the greentext? liar
>>29717561
The response to that is, I meant you could buy me coffee.
Or anything other than oh okay....
>see a cute grill at the mall in one of those outside little shits where they stop people to try things
>I try shit for grills, she smiles a lot at my jokes
>she asks my name
>she asks for a ton of shit
>woah this slut is interested
>she has a break and asks me to sit with her
>we talk for like an hour and a half
>I sperg out and tell her I gotta go and it was nice to meet her
I wasn't prepared for that
>>29717593
>if he's hot, why not
you clearly know shit about pop culture
>>29717071
>>make eye contact say "hey what is going on over there"
oh, yeah, a 10/10 Stacy is always expecting any male around asking her what's going on, yeah.
Faggotry level = 95%
>>29717561
>>She blurts out "no I don't like coffee"
oh, yeah, every cute girl is always waiting for some dude paying coffee for her sexual services.
Faggotry level = 97%.
>>29717593
>>go up to her and say "I have to say you have a beautiful body, your ass and tits are fantastic..."
oh, yeah, she didn't ever imagine that, it was YOU the chosen one to let her know about the selected Ass and Tits thing. Finally she understands that her bodytype makes her the Perfectly Available Slut.
Faggotry level = 100%.
>>29717499
OP here, it is pretty hilarious and sad
>>29717678
you missed your chance, should of just asked for the digits
>>29717628
Because I figured it was a pointless epilogue.
But in short what happened was she told me she was sorry she acted weird and then we talked about cartoons for a while (animation student).
Then I said "I think you're cute, let's go out this week"
And she blushed and said she hadn't been asked that before but that she was taken (later found out its an online distance thing)
But that she wanted to hang out and that she needs to know people before a while because of "a really emotionally traumatic experience" and then she apologised for bringing that up and that she'd see me in class next semester.
I talked to my friend about it and he thinks I could get with her but that it might be more trouble than it's worth.
I don't know though, I'm really into her.
>>29717071
>performing at a club last night
>beta and his gf come up to me
>start hitting on her
>ask her to follow me
>beta gets sad look in his eyes
>get head in the bathroom
>beta probably knows
>be junior
>qt freshman with nice ass
>grope her ass for a week straight
>meet her in an isolated part of a hallway at break
>comes up to me and says "what the fuck is your deal, creep?"
>"your ass is my deal, sugar :')"
>grabs my crotch and firmly tells me to fuck off
>do it again the next day
>hits me in the balls
yep
>>29717759
i refuse to believe that is real life
>be me, 19, sperglord
>train commuting everyday
>manage to enter always the door where a qt3.14 sits
>few weeks later, eye contact
>few days later, eye contact again
>days later, almost "hi"
>weeks later, managed to start a short conversation about weather
>day after, tried again to start a conversation, failed
>day after, tried again to talk about something, she replied again, smiling
>totally fell for her
>day after, she talked to me
>sperglordry awakens and suddenly asks her out
>she blushed, remained silent, without looking anymore at me
>she slowly got off at that train stop, while I was wondering why she unboarded earlier
>day after, she's not in the train
>she didn't take anymore that train
>I tried to check the trains before and after that, no success
and 11 years later I'm here talking about her.
Therese.
I always missed you.
>>29717793
>days later, almost "hi"
The awkward almost hi. when you walk past them and you both sort of whisper high to each other and raise your hand slightly
>>29717703
This is some next level autism there
>>29717071
i have never attempted to hit on a girl before, neither hot nor ugly one. and yes captcha i am definitely a robot.
>>29717730
>online relationship
>emotionally traumatic experience
She's trouble waiting to happen OP, don't bother with her.
>>29717736
>times you ATTEMPTED to hit on a girl
It also has to be true, faggot.
OP here
Here is another:
>sitting at bubble tea place with two buddies
>bored so we decide to play a cards and loser has to hit on the cashier girl
> 5/10 little chub
>obv i lose the card game, shit
>feel clueless as usual
>wait for there to be no one standing in line
>walk up to the counter
>make eye contact, say "hi"
>she smiles a little says "hey"
>"so what is there fun to do around here?"
>she is a little caught off gaurd, and I think she thinks im about to hit on her
> her "hmmm..there's a bowling alley and billard place down the street"
> me "oh nice, thanks"
> look at her
> cant stand there any long so i giggle a little bit
>turn away and walk back to my seat
> hear friends laughing their asses
>>29718031
>>sitting at bubble tea place with two buddies
>bubble tea place
>bubble tea
Anon are you a teenaged girl?
>>29718031
if she's actually a 5/10, I bet her daily problem is dealing with faggots like you hitting on her.
there's nothing more annoying than customers hitting on staff females. Dude, I'm working, I'm not a princess sitting on her throne lazily waiting for some charmingprince to hit on me.
>>29717678
prepare yourself and try again you seem to know what you're doing
>>29718070
I think he's a chink
>>29718080
>average women are so spoiled by attention they're pissed off when they get it from anyone except dudebros
>the average man would be excited to receive attention from a girl while at work
Fucking lel, fucking hell.
>>29717973
This, seriously, if she even mentions something like that she's going to be a fucking basketcase and more than likely a whore.
>>29718080
>5/10
>not a princess
Yeah no shit, you're probably more akin to a toad lmao
>>29718080
I'll stop post my embarrassing stories, sorry they bother you so much
>>29717998
I attempted and it worked
The amount of stories makes me wonder if /r9k/ really has become a normie-fest
>>29718448
it's 99% daydreaming, I do it all the time, normies are actually going away slowly and consistently
>>29717071
>qt. girl runs up to shouting "Hey anon give me a hug"
>fuck it
>open my arms to hug her
>I might know the girl idk
>she stops and looks at me in disgusting
>turns out some guy behind me is also called anon
>i don't know what to do
>start having an anxiety attack
>everyone is looking at me
>gottagofast.jpg
>run as far away as fast as I can
>>29717071
> be on party island in Indonesia with cousin two summers ago
> I really didn't want to go but he's a superchad who loves partying so he pressured me into going
> first night there, he wants to find weed
> tells me to wait for him at reclining chairs on the beach
> "o-ok"
> its really dark on beach, no streetlights or anything
> suddenly see group of 3 Stacies speaking in heavy British accents sit down on the beach about 10 meters away
> I'm really scared of the dark beach so I go over to them and stammer out
> "h-h-hey girls, can I sit with you"
> they look at each other and say "uuuuuh suuuuuuure" in that really long drawn out bitchy voice
> I ask them something along the lines of "so how's your night going" and they pretend not to hear me
> after whispering to one another after a minute they get up and leave
> I'm alone again on the pitch black beach
I didn't even want to hit on those hideous British sluts. I just wanted company. It didn't occur to me until a year later how much it must've seemed like I was a rapist of murderer to them. Still though, fuck those cunts.
>>29718142
Maybe, but my biological impulses are telling me to follow through anyway
>>29718080
But of course you give exemptions to attractive Chads right, fucking slut.
>>29719073
>Not murdering them
>>29717598
>But she approached me later and said she had an anxiety disorder.
Women are never honest about rejections. She just wasn't into you. If you were Chad she would have said yes.
>>29717759
Do you have a ballbusting fetish now?
>>29720157
This.
>Give random bs excuse so you don't feel bad
>Expect him to not ask you out again
In college I tried to hit on alot of girls. Jesus, though. These memories are so painful and fucking cringey I don't even want to talk about it. But alright, I'll give you guys one:
>Bee me
>Orbiting a nice qt over the internet
>She encourages me to interact with strangers more often to build self confidence
>Walking to bus stop
>Some trailer trash is sitting there
>Try to strike up conversation
>Ask him why he doesn't have a car
>He takes it personally and starts chimping out
>"Welp. Sorry bout that man."
>360 the fuck out of there
>Walk to next bus stop
>qt sitting there
>Try to strike up conversation
>"Can you believe this psycho guy was going to hit me just for trying to make conversation?"
>"Lol teehee yea some men are so nuts. I can't believe my friends are all attracted to those types"
>Manage to keep conversation rolling
>She's interested
>Bus comes
>We get on
>She sits down next to me
>Obviously she wants to keep this going
>Get nervous
>Spaghetti starts leaking out of my shoes
>Open a book and stare at it
>qt sits there quietly. She's pissed
>Her stop comes
>She storms off, probably thinking something about how her friends were right, and all men are shit, and you might as well fuck wifebeaters because betas are socially inept, embarrassing, worthless weaklings
At least I got that far, right brehs ;_;
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/love/
>Working at my father's friend's carpentry as an intern
>Cute nerd borderline hippie walks in and just starts staring at me while I assemble pots
>Boss is a rugged guy, shoos her away
>After work she approaches me and asks why my boss is such a dick
>We talk for a bit, she's a backpacker from Australia, I'm smitten by her
>Ask her where is she going to sleep
>Says that she doesn't know yet, but she might go over to some guy's house she met earlier
>I have two free rooms, but I don't wanna seem pushy
>Tell her that if she needs anything, she can come back to the shop
>She says cool and asks for my name
>I don't ask her back, say I gotta go
I waited that whole week for her to come back.
i asked a girl if she wanted to go in front of me in the dinner line, thats my only flirting attempt
>>29720319
Alright here's another good one.
>Sitting at bus station waiting for train to arrive
>See qt smoking
>Catch her glancing at me for a second
>Assume she's interested
>Think I'll try the douchebag angle. I've heard women like that
>Swagger up to her
>"Hey. Wanna give me a cigarette?"
>She's pissed.
>Throws a cigarette at me, clearly disgusted
>Feel bad. Offer to pay her for the cig; try and explain my motivations: "Gosh, I'm surprised you're so pissed. I thought that if I ect. ect."
>Legs are shaking in shame
>"Yea, well. You're wrong. Try and be a little more respectful next time. Keep your money"
>She leaves
She really ripped me a new arsehole there, brehs
>>29720389
>but she might go over to some guy's house she met earlier
she might have seen more dicks than the entire porn collection of you and your friends
>>29718893
This is when I know god doesn't exist, or he's a fucking gigantic douche having a kek at me.
>>29720443
Here's one of my first attempts cold approaching qts while on the bus
>Sitting on bus
>Really qt gets on with her child spawn
>No dad around
>I think "Hey she's probably single"
>Activate white knight fedoraism
>Tap her on the shoulder
>"Hey do you want me to watch your kid for you sometime?"
>She is disgusted, angry, and confused
>"Why???"
>Oh shit I didn't think this one through
>"Uhhh..."
>>29720509
>At college
>See qt sitting at cafeteria table
>Walk up and ask to talk to her
>I'm all giggly and nervous
>She says sure.
>Tell her I think she's really beautiful and I want her to be my gf
>She's an odd combination of shocked and disgusted, but not afraid
>She explains to me, as if I was a child, that it's good I'm willing to be so forward, but that girls don't like being approached so directly
>She politely excuses herself and leaves
faggots can you give some advice for approaching girls for someone who has never done it and is 18 y old?
>>29720563
Don't, go full MGTOW desu famlam.
>>29720563
My advice is to start simple. Just go up to girls, tell them why you're interested, and let them know what you want from them. Asking for their phone number is a good way to get the ball rolling without being too imposing. They'll say yes or no, and then you take it from there. A "no" means you basically just end the interaction right there and leave.
It's okay to be visibly nervous, to an extent. But never put them in a position where they have to lead the interaction. You should always be the one moving things.
When you have more experience with girls, you can be more subtle, in the sense of starting whatever bs casual conversation you need to before moving it to making a connection / date / phone number.
Once your foot is in the door after the cold approach, it's all easier from there. You just have to be fun and friendly (and most importantly confidant), and basically just not choke socially.
>>29720632
>Give up because you're afraid and insecure
>Blame women for it
Sounds like a plan senpai
Seriously though, MGTOW is degenerate. Male feminism
>>29720562
when one of my friends did the same (and got a slightly worse reaction from the girl), I laughed at his ass for weeks
btw years later dat fatso got a fatty (even uglier than him), married her, and was even able to become father of a baby
>>29720685
in my country asking for the phone number of a girl you don't know, is seen almost as a public rape
>>29720563
Try speaking to girls in your class, girl relatives, friends (if you have any) that you are not interested in so you at least know how to talk to one.
Don't go full autistic, keep it casual and talk about mundane boring shit, make it look like you're somewhat interested. If you end up in awkward silence don't point it out like ,,oh, this is awkward''.
Don't shit where you eat so you don't become THAT creepy guy.
Remember that you literally have nothing to lose if you get rejected, your life is worthless and you will die anyway, getting rejected by a bitch is not something you should put emphasis on.
Try getting into a mindset that makes everything seem irrelevant, which is true btw. This way your pleasures in life will be reduced, but so will your anxieties, it's a fair trade.
>>29718893
keklekek my dude
>>29717071
after school
some girl is literally joking around with me
she tries to touch my chest
she says I shaved my chest or something
I didnt
she keeps wanting to touch my chest
tell her I let her touch my chest if she lets me touch her
go inside
grab her tits on her bra
someone came over to talk to her
just as I was about to sneek my hand under her bra
oh well
>>29720790
>in my country asking for the phone number of a girl you don't know, is seen almost as a public rape
Feminism, ladies and gentlemen.
What (European) country, mate?
Hey, it's no biggie, though. If the Illuminati's useful idiots have made that social facility taboo, then you can just work around it with a little more effort:
>Before you cold approach, have some concert, or movie, or any kind of public, entertainment event in mind. Wine tasting, botanical garden exposition, public speaking event (which could be boring so pick a short one and follow it up with lunch (more casual than dinner) afterwards). Anything works.
>Maybe attend that event or a similar one by yourself a few times to get the hang of how to function there
>Do a cold approach strategy, follow it up by suggesting the event and giving her your phone number
This is more work, and also less ideal because the decision to keep the ball rolling is then in her hands. Is it taboo to ask for hers AFTER you've offered, and she's accepted, yours? Surely only the most fanatical headcases would insist on taking offense to that.
>>29720821
>Try speaking to girls in your class, girl relatives, friends (if you have any) that you are not interested in so you at least know how to talk to one.
>Don't go full autistic, keep it casual and talk about mundane boring shit, make it look like you're somewhat interested. If you end up in awkward silence don't point it out like ,,oh, this is awkward''.
>Don't shit where you eat so you don't become THAT creepy guy.
Solid advice
>>29720821
WTF, dude
I'm 76 years old.
back in time, getting a gf was straightforward:
1. get a job
2. let family and friends check you're not a hothead
3. give a slight hint to her family
4. wait for her father answering "yes" or "no"
5. if "yes", then you have only 12 months left to prepare your wedding dress
No idiotic mundane chitchat.
No complicated strategies to get at least in touch.
No unexpected rejections.
No anxieties. No awkward moments. No need to social engineering.
No situations where you could be named a sperglord.
And almost surely she's virgin.
>>29720950
>I'm 76 years old.
No you're not you autist
>>29717071
>tfw monotone asperger
>tfw can't compliment without sounding creepy
>never asked anyone out
>never been asked out
huehue
>>29720950
Even our grandfathers had to have a working PUA strategy. We haven't had an India style arranged marriage culture since, at the very latest, the 1700's.
I remember my grandfather talking about how, when he got back from WWII, he knew he had to "work on" my grandmother as quickly as possible, because there was another guy who was interested in her, who's enlistment hadn't ended yet, so he wanted to use the time to get a headstart on him.
Another time, when I mentioned to him that I was having a hard time talking to girls, he said "Just ask her if she wants to go get a coke. If she says no you just say okay and leave."
>get a coke
lol
Simpler times, yea. But basically the same games.
>>29721036
Replace coke with coffee and it's instantly applicable to this era.
>>29720563
it sounds weird, but you will literally have to practice talking to girls. Just accept that you're going to fuck up talking to the first couple of few.
you just gotta start easy and work your way up like you would for anything else, if you decided to take up cooking you wouldn't just start trying to make a Lobster Bisque right? you'd start with something easy like a pancake, similarly, just start by talking to ugly or fat girls, friends, family and every time you fail take the time to reflect on why, what you could have done better etc. then after a while you'll find it easier to move up and you will get better
>>29717071
seriously, what's wrong with this?
also this >>29717919
>Me, 17
>At ice rink
>skating around
>qt grill catches my eye
>psyche self up a bit, gonna do this
>go up and give tips on skating technique
>super awkward but she seems receptiveish
>skate away after a while
>few minutes later qt's friend drags her over to me
>"please teach her"
>keep it cool
>go into teaching mode
>exchange names
>holding her by the arms to help her get the feel
>things going well
>see parent come to fetch me
>give parting advice, totally formal and professional
>leave without even getting digits
>never see her again
Maybe I want to be alone.
>bee me
>high-school, maybe a sophomore
>super qt studious grill catches my eye, 10/10 virgin, never had a bf type
>fall hard over the course of two years, manage only 2 or 3 coversations in this time due to random groupings, never truly sperged out or anything
>junior year we have make super long eye contact like all year, still never say anything
>eventually grow an insurmountilby small pair of testicles
>by now its mid senior year
>decide to confess feelings via note in her locker
>mega sperg it out and say everything as cringily as possible
>"you are my infatutuation," "I hope my veneer of quietness hasn't been strange"
>too scared to deliver, friend does it for me
>never says anything to me at all
One of her friends apparently read the note and thought it was cute though. A year later we dated a couple weeks so I've at least kissed a grill now. Maybe there's still hope for me.
>>29717071
>Taking a grayhound from west palm beach to jacksonville back from vacation
> qt disheveled petite thing is sitting next to me
> start talking,its like an 8 hour bus ride so we get familiar
> She lets me finger her underneath a blanket and she gives me a terrible handjob
> was bretty gud
>>29721387
Hit on old lady cashiers, it's fun and there's no risk. Tell Edith that she's lookin' good today.
>That apron... mm mm mmm! Who's the lucky man in your life?
>infatuated with this girl in high school
>(female) friend of mine gets to know her and says that she is pretty cool
>wants me to wait outside of their mutual class so that I can meet her
>as I'm waiting I am trying to think of things to say to her when she gets there
>see her come around the corner in an orange sundress and pixy haircut
>shout "FUCK" as loud as I could at the sight of her
>do a 360 and speed walk the fuck out of there
>friend is telling me to come back
>NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE
Still one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen in my life. Looking her up on instagram or facebook still puts butterflies in my stomach 3 years later.
>>29717071
>Freshman in Highschool
>In phys ed class we took a bus to some tennies courts
>7/10 egg head girl with the biggest tits in our grade is my kind of friend
>We always talk and joke, never any sexual jokes, but I make them a lot with her friends and I can tell she gets a little weird when I do
>Leaving the courts she knows my ID is a bad pic
>Asks to see it, I'm like whatever, give it to her
>She laughs, I say something like "still better than you"
>She says she wants to keep it, obviously I say no give it back
>She puts it right down her shirt and in between her glorious tits and with the sexiest smirk says some and get it
>Panicked and stuttered "haha, no just give it back
>This goes on until we reach the bus
>she sits right next to me and keeps telling me to get it
>Cool kids see what's happening and two of them literally dive in her shirt and get it
>I was mortified ):
>Felt like such a bitch and she cried later in the day according to her friends
Upside is we did have sex about a month later
Thread theme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4
why do you people even bother?
>get drunk with girl
>have fun, dance, play vidya, fuck
>she only seems to want me when she is drunk
>won't touch me or anything, or go down on me, even though I'll go down on her for literally 20 minutes
>told her plenty of times how I feel about her, never tells me them back.
>when I shut down and just pretend we're friends and thats all, she is all over me again
Like what the actual fuck
>>29717071
why would you tattoo deathadder onto your ass
>>29721253
Holy shit you're right
Originaleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>29723903
she be a trick
Closest I ever got to getting laid:
>freshmen year of college
>go to a frat party with some robot friends
>robot friends were hanging back awkwardly while everyone was dancing, I kinda was too
>short qt blonde chick came up to me and started grinding on me
>I moved around with her a little bit, beer in one hand, other on her waist
>after song was over we introduced ourselves
>both of us wanted to have a cigarette, 'she said come with me!', grabbed my hand and led me outside
>outside she was literally hanging on me and couldn't keep her hands off me
>"this is anon! I just met him!"
>frat boys seemed pissy that one of their women was clinging to an outsider
>she said she was going to the bathroom real quick, leaned and whispered in my ear "don't go anywhere okay?" all seductively.
Literally right after she went back in the house I had to leave right then and there because one of the robots I was with started puking his brains out.
Or something stupid like that, I don't remember exactly what, just that someone rudely interrupted me when my virginity was almost gone.
>>29717499
What the hells going on out here?
>>29718893
Is that W.T Snacks in the photo?
>>29720509
this one hurt to read
original
I'm using the IM app Telegram. Talking to some girls on there.
Teach me how to chat with women.
