I just don't understand life, robots. I thought when I was a lonely fat NEET all I had to do was fix myself and everything would work out. I spent 4 years and fixed it all.
It doesn't, man. It just doesn't. It doesn't matter what I do. I got a job, I make 50k a year and I'm getting a raise to 70k in a month. I make more than my father ever did, or his father before him. I got a house. I'm not in the best of shape, still have a belly, but I can run a few miles and lift heavy enough weights now. I bought a car, I educated myself. I turned it all around in 3 years because I had hope that doing all of this would fix the emptiness I feel inside.
It didn't. Nothing ever will. I'm out, robots. I just wanted to let you all know that there is no light. I'm still a kissless virgin. I don't even know where to start to find girls to talk to or anything. None of it makes sense. I wasted my entire life. Goodbye. I'll see you on the other side.
If you hang around for a while longer you might live to see anime finally become real
>>29711663
Wait. How old are you /fa/m?
Also it seems like the whole kv thing is the only thing you truly want and all that other shit Doesn't really matter to you.
>>29711722
25. it's just the only thing i don't have. it's the only thing that could fix the feeling i have, every single day. it's a crushing numbness that never goes away, no matter how much I drink or what drugs I take or what doctor i talk to. it's all i can think could help me. But why would it? notHing else evevr did
>just lose some weight
>get fit
>just get a hobby
>get hobbies
>just get a job
>get job
>just get a girlfriend
>get girlfriend
>etc
It never gets better anon. I spent the last 10+ years doing all the inane shit people told me would make me a better person and a happier person. None of it made me feel one bit better. I've been on all kinds of antidepressants and other psych meds. I've done numerous drugs. Drank myself into stupors.
Nothing made it better anon. I'll probably off myself within a year or two as well.
>>29711830
I'm glad someone else understands. I only wish we learned sooner. Hope is too bright. blinds us.
>>29711663
>>29711830
Yeah I relate to you guys too, on Zoloft but I just feel worse
I wish I could just disappear without ever having been born. Only reason I haven't ended it yet it because of my parents... I couldn't leave them like that. I really don't know what to do anons. I've been crying for hours non stop.
Hobbies my nigga, find something you enjoy, people ain't that important if you're having a good ass mothefuckin time
I'm trying to think of ways to kill myself which minimize human interaction after I die. I guess the best way is to just go inna woods and pop myself. Possibility of having a corpse found bothers me.
Would someone be willing to drive me out into the ocean and agree to fucking abandon me so I could put a bullet in my head at sea? If I paid them that is.
>>29711663
What job and education did you get
>>29712068
I can't find anything I enjoy. Nothing brings me any pleasure any more. Pretty much all I think about is ending it. No friends, never even kissed a woman.
>>29711830
It's just a little bit of quasi happiness for a while, but then you get back to what you know it's your real state: deep depression.
>>29712087
>>29712038
don't rely on other people to do it. too many cops posing as hitmen and people that will just rob you. I tried seeing if I could find a serial killer or someone on craigslist but no real one would ever say yes. I always fantasize about just swerving into the oncoming lane, but that's not fair to the other person. And what if they die and you live? Guns are cheap enough anyway. I tried knives and hanging and failed both. Couldn't stab myself in the throat. Just too weak. The rope broke the first time and someone found me the second, but they didn't tell anyone. I tried pills too but I threw them all up.
>>29711663
>I don't even know where to start to find girls to talk to or anything
You have ridiculously high standards and you are also a prick.
>>29712100
I work for the DoE. Much nicer people than I expected and the job's not hard, just paperwork, power points, and sometimes retarded politics.
But none of them could or would ever help me. They just invite me to softball or barbecues.
>>29711663
Hey, friend.
I'm in my 40's. Middle-aged. Depressed my whole life. No, it does NOT "get better". But it can be managed, sort of. I finally gave up on life at age 35, stopped trying to find work, left my apartment, and just moved back into my parents' house like a loser.
I like watching science videos about the unfathomable vastness of space. When they put into perspective how tiny and insignificant the Earth is, in relation to the Solar System, which is nothing in comparison to the Milky Way, which is nothing in comparison to our local cluster of galaxies, which itself is just a tiny speck of the observable universe....
Well, you get the idea. None of this matters at all, and in a few billion years the Sun will engulf the Earth and char it into a cinder, so it's all for nothing.
Somehow, this comforts me and makes me feel so much better.
Yeah i feel the same. Nothing matters despite the change. It still feels the same.
>>29711663
>I don't even know where to start to find girls to talk to or anything.
That's just another thing to work on, isn't it? Surely you didn't expect a girl to fall into your lap once you got your life in order. And even if one had, you probably wouldn't want to take the first one that came along anyway.
>>29712615
That's something entirely different though. You can find guides on writing resumes, look at qualifications of previous hirees, find study guides, find workout routines and diets, etc.
All of those things have someone else out there to help you out.
But you can't find anything on that. Because everyone assumes everyone else can do it already. And it's such a personal thing that you have to just know it. And if you don't... it's hopeless.
Looking for facebook profile picture JEJEJEJEJEJEJEJJEJEJE.
