how/ where do you cum?
I hate making a mess but I don't like cumming into a tissue. Cumming in the sink isn't bad but then I have to use my phone and not computer
Fap towel. Thank me later
>>29708154
^This
I have several stashed around the house, wash them every week or two when they get crusty.
I cum in a 500ml plastic bottle that used to contain water. Every time I fap, I try to catch all of the cum in the bottle
Now it contains my semen, and it's alreadyhalf full.
just underwear desu
>>29708154
Going to have to lock it in something airtight afterward, the smell is repugnant.
bathtub masterrace
>>29708020
I can reach so often times in mouth
>>29708332
>not wanting to smell repugnant
some robot you are
In a shot glass which I keep in the back of a drawer in my desk. I can use it multiple times before cleaning it out in the sink, and as long as I keep the drawer closed there's no smell.
>>29708329
same desu
oregano
>>29708450
okay what the hell is happening,
everytime i post
T
B
H
it comes back as desu
I just cum on my stomach, then have a shower immediately after.
>>29708475
desu
oregano
On my hand, then I wash my hands
>>29708475
kek, can you be any more new?
>>29708475
leave while you still can desu
Simple, In the trashcan. It's already half filled with paper, so it's not noticeable. After a while, you just toss the paper.
>>29708020
Normally in my gf pussy or mouth or if she's sleeping I'll just lay there and jerk off in bed then roll over.
We have a cleaner so it's never really a problem.
Gf doesn't mind. Sometimes she gives me a hj then rubs it on her face and my tummy and we go to sleep
>>29708539
been here bout 8 months,
just never posted
I eat it. I like the taste.
Why do all you have such sneaky methods? Just jerk off in your bed then wash the sheets like a normal person
>>29708020
I have cum towels that i lay on the ground which allows to me freely cum. Its the worst when i am extra horny because then my load shoots farther than the towel
>>29708020
In my onahole
>>29708591
what does cum taste like? I always wanted to know but the thought of eating my own cum disgusts me
>>29708020
In her mouth
>>29708616
You now realize the average robot is underage, living with their parents, sneaking around to jerk off
>>29708616
Can't be arsed washing my sheets 2+ times a day.
>>29708649
It depends on the kinds of things you eat, but usually it's kind of salty and thick. Hard to explain. It's an acquired taste though, I didn't like it at first.
I just wipe it up on my finger like hair gel and whip it across the room onto my tile floor.
>>29708020
I have a paper towel by my bed that will shatter if I try to bend it.
It feels like a tostada shell, senpai. My jizz runs right off because every pore is full of baby gravy.
>>29708290
pics plzcomment unoriginal
i have a trashbin next to my computer that i just dump all the cum in
smells awful
mom hates it, asks what the smell is
thinks i am anorexic or whatever and that i puke into it after i eat and that is what the slime on the trashbin's sides is
then she cleans it for me
quite devilish if you ask me
>>29708616
That's disgusting. I'm too much of a neat methodical person to do something like that.
I lie down and cum freely to enjoy the full pleasure of the orgasm, then wipe myself off with dirty laundry laying around my room.
>>29708475
how to spot the newfag
Origgie
>>29708844
This man knows how to have a good time
>>29708020
Sock/towel. Reduces the mess, and I just stash it in my laundry drawer so it's not just laying and seeping around. Wash it with my laundry every week or so. Honestly I'm never going back. I can just stealth fap so conveniently in my bed several times a day.
1. Roll toilet paper around two/three fingers(depending on how thicc your dick is) so to form a cylinder of toilet paper. Make sure you have enough layers so that cum is properly absorbed and doesn't rupture all of them.
2. Fap.
3. As you are about to cum, simply insert your penis inside the cylinder and close the other end with your other hand as you are still stroking with your fap hand.
4. Cum, keep your dick inside it until your boner is gone, remove any additional cum from your dick.
5. Close the other hand.
6. Throw it inside the toilet.
7. ???
8. PROFIT
Clean, easy to dispose, doesn't leave a mess, also good for risky situation if you need to quickly put your dick inside your pants.
I cum on the floor next to my bed.
I just stand up and blow my money shot all over the carpet. Been doing it since I was 13, now I'm 21. I've shot thousands of loads onto the carpet and you can't even tell. Also, it doesn't smell at all.
>tfw ywn dispose of your cum in the place nature intendedin a pussy
>>29709164
I use a variation of this
I use more toilet paper and i roll it up then floof the top to make a flower looking mechanism.
When I'm about to cum I put my tip into it and then close it up and dispose of it.
INSIDE
MY
FORESKIN
>>29709274
If I'm fapping at my desk though, I'll cum into the garbage can
>>29709274
>also it doesn't smell at all.
Sorry to break it to you buddy...
I pinch the foreskin, cum inside and then empty the cum-balloon in the toilet.
>>29709164
>>29709303
I have a similar method. Here's a graphic I came up with
I really can't image all these people doing things in the height of climax to avoid a little mess. Enjoy your orgasms people. Let the cum flow freely.
>>29709412
I'm not cleaning cum off my keyboard every fucking day.
>>29709412
I had to develop all this shit as I'm a college student and I used to live even with two other people in the same room, so I needed something clean and most importantly fast to hide in case of emergency(i.e one of the other guys coming home as I'm climaxing).
>>29708020
I cum inside my own bladder.
Now I know that sounds crazy, but bear with me.
You know when you are peeing and you can temporarily stop the flow of pee? Next time you pee try doing that. You will feel that you contract a particular muscle somewhere between your balls and your anus. That particular muscle ("kegel muscle", google it) is the key to all this.
Next time you are about to cum, like right over the point of no return, contract that muscle as hard as you can, for as long as you can. If you do it right, no cum should come out at all. Where did it go? Your bladder, actually.
But cumming inside your bladder can't be healthy, right? Well, it turns out you do that every time you cum, except it's only a little and not the whole load. I have been doing this for years with no ill effects. Best part? It actually feels BETTER.
I will never go back to regular cumshots after this. Dry orgasms are a gift of God.
Feels better, and no cleanup.
I know it sounds weird but trust me, it is worth a try. It's unbelievable how few men know this.
Tear a hole in the corder of a paper towel, stick my dick through it, and when I cum I lift opposite corder upand aim so that it catches everything
my blanket
everytime
>>29709432
>not fapping while lying in bed
It's like you don't even want max pleasure
>>29709500
You're gonna regret that when you have prostate cancer in a couple decades
>>29709500
There's a little valve in there to keep cum out when you ejaculate. Breaking that seal sounds like an easy way to get a UTI so no thanks.
>>29709631
Why would that give me prostate cancer?>>29709677
That makes no sense. Freshly produced sperm is completely sterile. And like I said, every time you ejaculate a little semen goes into your bladder anyway.
>>29708475
How can one be so new?
Go back to redit and minecraft kiddo.
>>29709729
It might give you a UTI because if that sphincter separating the bladder to the urethra is loosened from a lot of cum being forced through it, it's no longer a perfect stable seal, allowing bacteria to get in in the future. The sphincter will lose it's ability to close properly over time.
>>29709831
That's some rare content, my friend.
>>29708020
Does anybody else masturbate with a condom on? To me, it feels way better and when I'm done, there is no mess, just the condom to throw away. Only downside is it's expensive to keep buying condoms for masturbating so I only do it sparingly.
>>29709844
Yeah, that's not how it works.
You shouldn't need uninformed speculation to discredit my technique. You can say you don't want to do it because it sounds weird, it's understandable. I don't care. But don't go making shit up and pretending you know what you're talking about. You don't.
>tfw bf shows you is cum splattered all over the side of his mattress
>no longer needs to cum in odd places because he has a pussy to cum in
>>29708020
I cum into the same blanket I sleep with.
Just remember which side has the cummies, and fold the edge closest to your head, and you'll be fine.I wish i was joking
on my belly and chest. i very rarely get any going off in unexpected directions. it's been years since i've come hard enough to hit past my chest, although a couple times i have accidentally given myself a facial.
clean up is with paper towel.
Toilet. Literally just wipe the tip after and you're done
>>29709500
this is called retrograde ejaculation and is extremely bad, don't listen to this fucker
I have an old beach towel rag that I use. I masturbate on my back on my bed, and point my dick towards my chest to stroke and lay the towel on my stomach/chest. when I cum I just cum into the towel, then ditch it in my closet
Although I also use lotion to masturbate, so I also have to clean off my dick of the lotion after I cum
I always finish the fapping in the shower
>>29708020
I just come on my hands\belly and wipe it off with tissue
>>29710122
Bullshit. Retrograde ejaculation isn't "extremey bad", it just means you can't have children.
Plus that term refers to INVOLUNTARY retrogade ejaculation, which often means there something wrong with you.
What I am talking about is VOLUNTARY retrograde ejaculation. I can still cum normally with no problem, it's just I have no reason to do it anymore. I sometimes do it in the shower for example.
And "extremely bad"? How? Either explain or stop making shit up.
>>29710235
>isn't "extremey bad", it just means you can't have children.
lmao
>>29710235
>can cause infertility
>can put pressure on the pudental nerve and cause numbness of the penis
yeah, harmless
>>29710293
If you have INVOLUNTARY retrograde ejaculation it means you cant have children BECAUSE YOU CANT EJACULATE, IDIOT
if you are doing it on purpose literally nothing changes, you can cum anytime you want
>>29710320
What puts pressure on the nerve is inducing retrogade ejaculation by literally squeezing your penis with you hand to stop the semen, fucking retard
>In certain cultures, deliberately inducing retrograde ejaculation by squeezing the urethra at the base or applying pressure to the perineum is done as a form of primitive male birth control (coitus saxonicus).
>Many doctors also do not recommend coitus saxonicus due to the risk of putting pressure on the pudendal nerve, which can cause numbness in the penis.
the way I do it has nothing to do with that, it is a completely different method
If you're gonna do wikipedia "research" at least learn to read the fucking articles holy fuck you have the reading comprehension of a 5 year old
>>29710474
why are you so defensive of your masturbation technique lol
>>29710072
How do you savages manage to do this? I wouldn't sleep in my bed ever again for fear of rolling over and waking up all sticky and shit
Cumming into toilet is god tier for lazy people like me
>>29710688
I'm just trying to get the word out because it could make so many robots's lives easier and more pleasurable. It pisses me off when people try to nitpick and make shit up to discredit something they have never tried using sources they dont even understand.
I have been doing this for six years with no ill effects. I can still cum perfectly fine whenever I want to. Nothing has changed, except I have saved a lot of time in cleaning and experienced many more intense orgasms than I would have had otherwise.
Nice dubs btw HH
>Jack off
>Hold all the semen in
>Clean up what little escaped with a rag
How the fuck does anyone do it differently? Why the fuck would you masturbate and let it all go and make a fucking mess everywhere?
>>29708154
this guy gets it.
also fapping into dirty underwear works too just make sure you actually clean them eventually
I just lay on my back, cum on my stomach, then have a box of tissues waiting nearby. I dunno why you guys have all these weird time mastered techniques. It's beating your meat, not swordcrafting.
>>29710933
My loads are huge that's why
I cum about 5-7 big ropes and if I'm not organized it will go absolutely everywhere
>>29708020
Tissues...duh.
>>29710839
>Why the fuck would you masturbate and let it all go and make a fucking mess everywhere?
Because it feels so much better than restraining yourself
I lie down on the bathroom floor with my head rested on the radiator. I have my tablet to the left and some tissue paper folded along my stomach and chest thickly enough that it comfortably catches all my cum and won't soak through to make my torso sticky. Clean up is simple, just need to wipe the excess spooge on my bellend afterwards and I'm all done.
