>hello robots. I lurk here often. Listen to my story.
I'm a 48 year old janitor at a local high school in Edmonton, Canada(the picture is me). I am a childless virgin. Behold, I am what many of you shall become. I am endlessly depressed. I am tired of this pathetic torture of an existence. I have to put up with kids who tease me, co-workers who mock me, and my crippling social anxiety. I can barely look a young student in the eye and speak to him without stuttering endlessly.
I am going to kill myself soon, within a week, once I have all my plans fulfilled.
AMA.
>>29691261
How large is your model train setup?
>>29691261
>once I have all my plans fulfilled
and what plans would that be OP?
It's never too late to improve your life.
>>29691261
Why not just try to get bux instead? At the very least you could look for a different job.
more pics? I'm assessing how bad you have it
>>29691261
Please don't end it. I love you!
>>29691261
No question, I just wish you the best. Hope you find peace in the afterlife.
>>29691288
I like old automobiles and prefer making model planes, cars, and ships in my spare time. I bought a train set once, but it became too time consuming for me.
>>29691312
Make sure my elderly mother, my only family, will be taken care of.
>>29691359
She will be extremely hurt if you commit suicide.
>>29691261
>story
>not green texting me
You no what, i don't care and send me the link to the stream faggot
>>29691317
It is too late. I wasted my life, just reading novels and watching hockey. And building models and going to antique machinery museums.
>>29691320
Why? I'm going to kill myself, what do I have to lose?
>>29691327
Its too late in life for that.
>>29691358
Thank you.
>>29691261
Hey, I'm in Calgary, hopefully the news reaches farther than edmonton, good luck senpai
>>29691384
My father passed away a year and a half ago from lung cancer. She lives in a seniors home, but this pain called life is too much for me to endure. Too much to know that I can't turn back the clock to those golden years and do it all over again. Imagine working around kids, full of potential with a bright future, all the time, in my position. It makes my soul an abyss, insurmountable by any of the joys I once sought refuge in.
>>29691463
What news?
Original comment.
>>29691312
>>29691359
good luck OP have fun
>>29691486
of your death
>>29691261
>listen to my story
tl;dr kill yourself faggot. nobody wants to read your bullshit
post more pics before I give advice
>>29691518
I am far too insignificant. The apex of my measly existence will be my name printed in an obituary. Keep this as a cautionary reminder, not to end up like Gary.
>>29691471
kids lives seem better because their kids. it's a way easier mode as long their family situation is decent. that's not something you should compare yourself to. maybe there is a different job you could get.
>>29691261
What advice can you give us so we don't end up like you?
>>29691261
Don't do it man, you were in the MOON!
>>29691533
Why does my appearance matter to you?
>>29691551
This is the best I'm getting. I'm in the union and the wage is OK, so I can provide for my mom. I'll leave my money to her.
>>29691558
Don't twiddle your thumbs devoting yourself to a hobby, deluding yourself that your happiness supersedes success. Happiness =/= success, but success usually equals happiness. I once thought doing what I love would satisfy me, but the sedative properties of creature comforts expire rather quickly.
>>29691261
I'm sorry that life was unfair to you. I don't have any solutions to your problems. I don't know if there are any. I'm tearing up just reading this, I don't know you but I know we lurk the same board so at least we have that in common.
I don't want to see people die who don't deserve it. If you haven't committed any crimes and don't aspire to hurt other people it makes me furious that you've been driven to the point of suicide. I'm scared at how cold the world has become and I'm terrified that I'll end up just like you. I've never had a girlfriend before and I have trouble making friends. My family sees me as weak and despite having graduated from college recently with a B.S. degree I can't find any jobs above minimum wage. Society keeps telling me that I don't "deserve" anything and it throws me into a blind rage whenever I think about how many things I "owe" to a world that doesn't care about me. We don't have any purpose anymore. Nobody needs us and anything we do could have been done by anyone else.
I had a math teacher in highschool who committed suicide. I won't act like I knew him but I was in his math class for 3 years and it was clear that he had trouble socializing and connecting with other people. When I heard that he had hanged himself I started crying because he wrote my letter of recommendation for college. I had another friend who jumped to their death from a bridge and I cried again. She graduated from college, stayed home for a few months and decided the rest of her life didn't have any promise. I've never been more afraid for my future than I am right now.
I wish I could tell you not to kill yourself but I don't have any solutions to your problems. I hate feeling powerless and all people who matter to me are either dying or becoming emotionally cold.
>>29691575
Haha. Your comment made my laugh. Thank you. Such a rare occurence that is nowadays. Of course, Seinfeld and Corner Gas, my favourite television programs, occasionally cause me to laugh. Not so much these days so much as yesteryear though - my soul feels asphyxiated.
>>29691261
I feel you man. It seems like no matter how hard I try I will never be a normie. I just can't enjoy what every one else does. I cannot fit in. I will never be successful. I try my best, but nothing ever comes to fruition. I can bust my balls studying all week and get shit grades, while Chad studies for a few hours and then parties and fucks all weekend.
See you on the other side anon. It's a cruel world. Fuck this place
Get medicated, go to the gym. Your life has potential for improvement until the moment you end it.
>>29691594
I can infer a lot of things from a couple of unobstructed pictures. Just do it.
>>29691615
This is the melancholy reality of our existence. Very few of us will make any impact whatsoever, and we whither away like dust.
I doubt anyone shall shed a tear for the fat, pizza-faced, socially awkward janitor.
>>29691261
Fuck, you're literally a best case scenario for 48 year old me.
Them feels.
Good luck with leaving this cruel world, friend. I hope when the time comes I will be as brave as you are.
>>29691261
OP i deeply empathize with you and I wish i can relieve whatever suffering you are going through.
I can only imagine your pain and i wont tell you to not do it
But im obligated to tell you this may be the only chance in life you get, so i highly recommend you sit it through unless you 100% cannot better it.
See you on the other side. As tolkien once said death is not an ending but a beggining of a grand adventure. Dont fear judgement, god can see through your heart and soul and he knows everything to have made you the person you are now.
Anyway got any advice for us from your life experiences? Any mistakes and regrets?
>>29691261
>I have to put up with kids who tease me, co-workers who mock me, and my crippling social anxiety.
how do they mock and tease you, my dude?
try to ignore them somehow, use earphones or headphones and try to forget about them, do your job and spend time and money on the things you like, try to care less about them, don't let them get you down.
what would your mother think and feel about your death? Don't do it.
>>29691662
See >>29691594 the answers to my mistakes are here.
>>29691674
They call me disgusting and smelly. They insist I don't eat with them in the staff room for lunch, so I walk to a bus bench and eat my lunch now. They laugh at me, and once they wrecked the keychain my mom bought me when I was 13 on a family trip to Vancouver Island "as a practical joke". I could do nothing but cry.
get on a suicide hotline please. at least try it, you have nothing to lose
>>29691734
He has death to lose
>>29691734
Tried. They just gave me a referral to an adult "depression support group".
When were you most happy in life? I want to know if it has already passed me
Post more pics already
>>29691825
When I was around 17-19.
Godspeed OP. I hope you find the peace that you're looking for.
Have you considered the wonders of virtual reality that are right around the corner? I bet we'll have pretty realistic virtual wife in 5 years tops, and they'll get better and better from there on...plus, sex bots!
Stay alive for technology! Who gives a shit about real women....also hang out with men! Find some bros!
>>29691722
I'm sorry anon. You don't deserve that shit.
Shit sucks OP. I hope wherever you end up, you find peace.
>>29691384
GET THE FUCK OFF OF THIS BOARD NORMIE. GET OUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
>>29691261
shit. sorry to hear that.
i guess i should try and not become like you OP.
>>29691973
fuck u fuckin redditfag cuck
