bump, help me avoid eternal robothood

>>29684572
Maybe you are too nice so they know that they can pick on you

>>29684297

Dunno. Think its just human social hierarchy bullshit. i was in your position before i stopped being with my friends. i even got to watch a social group turn on itself and disintergrate once was no longer the communal punching bag.

Anyways most of my interactions now happen one on one at bars, and im much happier for it.

>>29684624
I considered that before. As an attempt to solve the problem I tried to return the insults. It was moderately successful but didn't do much in the long term. I'm not even the nicest person in any of my friend groups so it must be something else.

I think it may be because I don't know how to react to the insults in a way that won't attract more in the future. Most of the time I try to insult them back they just double down. When I act like I don't give a shit they still continue. The insults towards me become some sort of meme that they repeat constantly.

>>29684772
i have this same problem maybe we should be friends anon :D

>>29684645
I wish I could drop socializing altogether but I still feel the need to be around people. I've reached that point in the past and stopped talking to everyone for a month or two but then I find a new group and repeat the process.

Alcohol helps a lot but it's obviously not a good idea to depend on it. Are your bar interactions with long term friends or just random people you meet?

>>29684297
Is it possible you smell ever so slightly, yet persistently, of poo?

>>29684832
tell me about your situation, I'd like to hear how you experience this. I'm always open to anonymous friendships with like minded anons

They don't respect you.

>>29684645
This. I was this way for the longest time. Glad to be the one shit on just to belong.
Get out of cliques. Find a pub if you can (not a loud bar with tons of Normans and Chads/Stacies) and you'll find some actual friends.

Hell, I'm even good friends with the staff at my fav. Place. I'm close with the cook, a bartender, & a waitress especially. They're good people and we hang all the time.

If you're at all like me big crowds and noise fuck you up, so don't engage in those environments.

>>29684297
federica thread

>>29684939
>>29684645
I think he's asking why specifically him and not someone else is the joke of the group not why people do this.

>>29684989
yeah, this is what I meant but it's great to hear about how others solved similar problems.

>>29684939
Thanks for the advice. I have a lot of anxiety over meeting new people but I'm sure that I'll be able to engage someone after a few drinks. You're definitely right about the avoiding big crowds and loud environments, not only does that shut down my ability to socialize but also drives me insane.

Is your advice specific to pubs or can it be generalized? Do your friendships with those people extend beyond your time at the pub?

>>29684989
Oh. Shit.
Well OP. If you're at all like me, I think it boils down to one thing:
People mistake kindness for weakness.

They know that you, unlike most everyone, won't chimp out when you're made fun of. That's enough.

Normies get weirdly defensive when embarrassed. They lack the tolerance for it we have.

>>29684772
when you insult them back are you doing it in a light hearted way? you need to combine the not giving a shit with the returning insults.

>>29685179
Yes and yes. Anyone you tip be wary of because they're often just looking for money. But people like cooks, waitresses that don't get tips, bar regulars are fair game. It took 6 months but now we're friends who hang out other than in the bar. In general if you're talking to people on the job make sure it's when they aren't busy.

But this also applies for any public space that isn't super crowded. Pubs, bookstores, hobby clubs, anywhere where there are consistently the same people.

Then you can take things at your own pace & not be overwhelmed.

>>29684297
post vocaroo, maybe something about the way you talk/act rubs people the wrong way.

I knew or at least had the same class with a guy that was probably legit autistic. He talked so goddamn slow and took up everyones time in class, even though sometimes he would hit on a good subject he'd ruin whatever progress he made by droning on and being randomly confrontational.

>>29685327
All of the insults are done in a light hearted way but it says something about your position in a group if most of the insults are directed towards you.

You're right though, I just think I do a poor job at appearing to not give a shit. I know for a fact that they would feel extremely shitty if they were put in my position but they never are. It's especially brutal when they tag team against me. There's always the one friend who tells them to stop being assholes but the pity makes me feel even shittier.

I realize I got a bit off topic. My point is that it's hard to not give a shit sometimes, but I'll give it a shot.

>>29685472
This might be applicable to my situation. I've been told multiple times that my voice is very monotone (except for when I'm drunk, idk why it changes). People have a hard time noticing when I'm sarcastic or excited because my speech patterns don't communicate the differences.

Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed my wires get crossed and I start to mispronounce words. This usually attracts more insults. The mispronunciation ranges from hardly noticeable to somewhat of a lisp and childish.

>>29684297
Describe the humiliation and disrespect

>>29685365
I've met all my current friends at university. What makes the people I'll meet at the places you mentioned different from the ones at my university?

>>29684297
I know this feel bro. It sucks when you are always the scapegoat for your "friends". This was until I started hanging out with a group of friends who had a kid that was retarded or something in a wheel chair. Now we all just make fun of him all the time and he just takes it because he wants to fit in. It finally feels good to get some breathing room

>>29685573
Imagine getting shit on constantly by a group of people. They denigrate you any chance they get. I'm honestly not sure if they do it out of malicious intent but it makes me painfully aware of how people see me, as a punching bag and a joke.

>>29685597
They'll be adults, for one. Usually blue collar types. Some people working to pay off school.

The more well off the normies, the less they can relate in my experience. And uni is the most uppity group of shitheels ever.

I had a much better time with people who have gone through & are still facing struggles. Working to make it through the day etc. They may not be bots, but they can empathize because they've had actual hard times too.

Unlike college kids whose hardest concern is getting mom & dad to pay the next check or how they've 'only' fucked three girls this month.

>>29685685
I know what you mean. Sometimes my friends and I hang out with people like that and it takes the load off of me. It's not a permanent solution though. I'd still like to find a way to elevate my standing.

>>29685716
What are the jokes, though?

>>29685824
It also makes me uncomfortable to see someone else subjected to the same shit I was

>>29685748
That's a good point. I've always found it easier to socialize with professors and other mature adults in my life. Thanks a lot for the advice anon

>>29685875
Anytime anon. I'm the same way.
I only started gaming social confidence by hanging with people a little older. Even if they're only a couple years older it helps. Or if they're from working class backgrounds (strippers, laborers, bartenders, waiters, etc.)

Young people these days are in a perpetual high school mindset...& those who have never been through hard times are impossible to relate to as a robot.