Feels thread.
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Can we have a feels thread?
Get it off your chest, now!
What is troubling you?
If I'm playing videogames for 6 hours a day I may as well cut my nuts of and go crawl under a parked car and die?
I can't get off this couch. I start a new job on Wednesday, good salary, full benefits, but I can't seem to get my head into wagecuck mode. I just want something to kill me so I can stop being a failure.
>>29680582
>no husky to cuddle
>>29680582
I hate my parents
I hate them
My father is a beta manlet with anger issues
My mother is a narcissistic selfcentered passive-aggressive bitch
They emotionally neglected me as a child which is why I'm so fucked up
And they act like fucking children all the time and I can't fucking stand it
Being in the same room as them makes me so uncomfortable
I can't even do anything when they're in a bad mood because I just feel tense and anxious
If I actually had the balls to do a beta uprising they'd be the first to fucking go
I want a Japanese gf so badly. I don't even know how to get one or what I would do if I got one, but it's the only thing keeping me alive. I've been learning Japanese and saving up what little money I can get to go to Japan for a month, but I don't think I can come back with a Japanese gf.
Feels really shitty because I know that even if I magically obtained the Japanese gf of my dreams the experience would never live up to my expectations even if she were a 10/10 pure virgin.
The person i love has ben around me for 5 years now, muster some courage and fight social anxiety and confess. She says that she doesnt like me cuz i'm too sweet. Never wanted to kill myself so much.
Small dicc. Everytime i think about it. Makes me feel small and weak as a person. Holds me back from everything.
>>29680708
Have you tried not being such a pathetic weeb?
Stuck in a shitty place in life and seemingly no way out
I want sex so badly... Sooo badly i cant concentrate on anything. If only i a was a girl i could just ask for attention online and dozens of people would offer me sex. But no, i am a guy and only normies/chads/rich people can get it.
>>29680582
I am a poor 26 year old phimosis having still acne ridden people fearing failure who is just waiting for his parents to die of old age so he can kill himself, who finds the entire human race as it is degenerate, mentally ill and disgusting, who's got anger issues and personality disorders from being bullied so much by normies and stacies in school he can't be redeemed, who's only joy in life is watching korean cartoons and complaining about things on facebook 2.0 for the cool kids, known as current 4chin
My health keeps going shitter and shitter and is more like an 80 year old man's than a 26 year olds adn I can not accept the reality that by this point I will never be able to gain physical intimacy or love from women, who are shit anyway these modern days so all I have is imagination and 2D but it's just not enough
>>29680600
Do you even enjoy it? It's all I can do and its just boring and not fun. Makes me more angry and stressed then I need to be.
>>29680750
It's only partially about being a weeb. My evtire adolescence I was bullied by white women, and it got to the point of me pressing assault charges so it was pretty fucking awful. So when I would go home to my anime after a day of hell I would see qt anime girls who would never hurt me, and they of course spoke Japanese. As I grew older I couldn't shake the biological desire for 3d so I watched JAV and essentially put the final nail into the coffin of me conditioning myself to want only Japanese women. I've wanted a Japanese gf since I was 12 (21 now) not being a weeb isn't going to help now.
tl;dr was bullied by white girls so I want a Japanese gf because of anime.
>realized after 4 years at uni and at age 25 that I'm studying the wrong thing
>always banked on going into teaching, had opportunity to try it through a short internship, was not impressed
>wtf am i supposed to do now
>lose motivation and fall behind on coursework, have to redo a couple of exams in august
>start realizing i am in the exact same place i was when i turned 18 some 7 years ago
>no gf, minimum work experience, low income, still a chubby fuck, still socially awkward
>mfw my friends and peers are now in great jobs, stable relationships, getting married, buying houses, doing shit with their lives
>meanwhile i am posting on a mongolian moving pictures discussion forum
Were I more emotionally vulnerable I'd probably be diagnosed with a depression.
>>29680967
It entertains me slightly, just enough so that I enjoy life enough to not kill myself, but I still hate myself
the woman i love left me. I dont know if i'll ever love again as much as i love her. I may be alone for the rest of my life.
i am extreme anxiety near people, mostly strangers.
got bullied alot in school, went through some real shit, did drugs, and ended up with mental illness on my hands now that im 25.
my only redeeming factor right now is my 3D work which is getting better and im actually dedicated to. i got some work online to do but im still terrified of the future.
i can't even go out and draw money because im too scared my anxiety will trigger, no pill ever helped me.
on the flipside, most of the people i met are narcissistic pieces of shit that rather talk but not listen,put social statues and money above everything and don't care about anyone but themselves. no wonder the world is going to shit. we are breeding little devils and im just fine by not being part of this
I've been spending my nights thinking about how my life would be like if I moved to some cities around the world and started anew. Every other night I think of one city and I research apartments to rent, job offers, places to go, local culture, etc; in that city/country. And then I daydream about living there. I wish I had the guts to act on it instead of being just a 26 years old useless NEET.
> Be me two months (18 year old male, in good physical shape, I would rate myself a 6.5/10 maybe a 7)
> Ask a girl I liked out because fuck it, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take blah blah blah.
> I have never had a woman say yes to a date, so my expectations were rather low
> To my surprise she says yes, and we swap phone numbers.
> Is actually engaged in texting, replies a few minutes after I send a msg, more then a few words etc etc.
> A few hours before our date, she says she's sick and that she can't come.
> Not a big deal, she is a shy person, probably got cold feet. Besides, It was a free entry community thing so it didn't cost me anything.
> I text back a few hours later after talking to my more experienced college friend about it, he gives me some good pointers on how to respond and I reply basically saying that I understand, I'll come up with something else we can do, all that stuff.
> She never replied
Hold me Brehs
>>29680634
my parents try to tease and aggravate me from time to time
it got really bad then i got sick of. i just tell them to fuck off if they try to belittle me.
i honestly don't have time for theit petty shit and if they threaten me in any way i just tell them to do it instead of threating
>>29681343
So sorry for that. People should just be honest when they're either not interested or just too afraid.
>>29681415
don't expect woman to initiate everything
>>29680730
Same here
Originalitym8
I am frustrated and dissatisfied with life. I'm 25 and I live at home working retail. Most of my cuck wage is going to my family. I have severe social anxiety and I'm finding it harder and harder to go out in public. I have no self esteem and no social life outside of the internet. I'm frustrated and filled with despair at the current political climate, I feel that society is failing and people are doing nothing to prevent social collapse. I'm tired all the fucking time, all I want to do is sleep, I feel almost no joy in anything I do for recreation - which isn't much anymore, mostly vidya. I think about blowing my brains out every day but I'm afraid of dying. The pain won't fucking stop. The anxiety. The fucking constant clicking noise in my left ear and the high pitched tinny noise fucking CONSTANTLY are driving me up the fucking wall. I've been overweight since childhood and I genuinely want to change but anxiety and fatigue seem to win every day. I went for a jog a few days ago and it felt great. But I can't seem to get back out there. I cycle between overwhelming despair and overwhelming anger.
Also tfw no gf.
I want to feel okay for once.
>>29680582
im a retard, or at least not genius.
i dont know what i want, what i can, what others think and what roll i play.
I walk and look at people, put a semi mask on my carachter to steal their fame or see them do their thing. (Im clearly a cyborg by that metric, belive me i do some wierd shit, but i do have some friends and can to a certian extent impress people.)
And i really fear adult life.
>>29680582
>try to be open during a group conversation
>all nice and well, until You cannot fit in anymore
>seeing other get along, whilist being cast into the oblivion
there goes my enthusiasm
>>29680582
Life is hard, and being honest, it's even harder when you can't just ask help or to be listened to, because as a man you are supposed to keep your problems to yourself, otherwise you're ridiculed
I seriously don't know what I want in my life.
I hate, HATE being around other people. It always gives my inferiority complex new heights when I see even just average looking people.
I hate the country I live in where people value you only by how much money you earn, nothing else.
I wish I had a friend with which I could talk about art, history and all that shit that truly interests me, instead of constantly having to force myself to talk with other people about stuff that truly bores me.
I seriously have only the internet to talk with people who I can really relate and with which I can really have fun discussing things.
Everyone irl is either a normie or just some complete dead-end boring fag who does nothing but working and indulging in video games or TV when he's back home.
fuck my life...
>>29680582
I'm 21 and still live at home. I have two more years of college to go but it still makes me feel like shit since I'm the only one from my old friend circle who is still living at home. I don't have a job either, I just focus on school and do really good but I feel like its hurting my chances still living at home with no money.
>tfw can't get motivated to practice piano
>tfw will never be good because I didn't practice seriously when I was a kid
>>29682370
if its serius you can talk about it pussy.
Since I was about 17 video games have been my only hobby. I'm 24 now and I've completely lost interest in video games but because it was my only hobby for so long I don't know what to do with myself now that I've stopped.
The only other hobby is going to the gym for an hour every other day but I spend most of my day at home bored out of my mind.
I'm not lonely or anything, I like spending time by myself but without video games I feel like I'm wasting my days.
I even thought my lack of enjoyment playing games was because I outgrew consoles so I built a pretty decent PC for myself but I barely even play any games on that either.
>>29682200
I know this isnt much but i wish you could feel okay even for once. Stay strong anon.
>>29680582
I wish I didn't do stupid stuff in my past.
I can't stop thinking about the fact that it makes me a disgusting person and that it's impossible to fix it. What's done is done.
Trying to keep it a secret from everyone is slowly killing me inside, and I'm so afraid of people finding out.
I hate myself so much, but I love life.
>>29682446
What country anon? Need someone to talk to?
>>29682722
What did you do? Let it out anon.
>>29682773
Masturbated to stuff I shouldn't have - my mom and a bunch of grills that were a year or two younger than me. I was 14/15 at the time and it happened only once for each thing I masturbated to, but it still makes me feel like literal scum. So afraid of people finding out and rejecting me, since I'm desperate for interaction with other people, with the exception for a few odd days where I just isolate myself.
>>29680582
I'm wondering why I was even born. I'm 22 and have achieved absolutely nothing.
>kissless virgin
>NEET
>friendless
>unable to drive
>literally zero motivation or ambition
>can't face living for another 50+ years on this planet but I'm a coward
>trying to accept I'll die alone
>poorfag
My parents are the only reason I'm still around at this point and I feel like a burden on them. I shouldn't even exist.
>>29682967
You can't let that hold on to you man, you must let go and learn to forgive yourself, its the only way things can get better. Your seriously upset because you jerked to people one year younger then you?
>>29683053
I think it's probably because I try to fit in so much in any group and stray away from anything remotely immoral / weird. Feels like I'm addicted to other people sometimes.
I've tried to let it go many times. I realize it's just holding me down, and that I'm actually making it into a bigger problem if I let it hold me down and just as I feel like I'm ready to improve myself, feel good and carry on, these intrusive scenarios of close friends / family rejecting me and calling me disgusting, pedophile and so forth pop up. They just crush me and make me feel like almost everything I do is meaningless because what I create as an image about myself will crumble when (or if) my secret is out and I'll be thrown away. Then I go back and think about how immoral and irreparable my actions are, and the cycle starts again.
Thanks for talking about it with me man. I really do appreciate having someone to talk about it, without feeling threatened.
>cant conversate for shite
>have no idea who i am
the last one really gets me. even if i could talk at length, i wouldnt be able to talk about anything. I lost whatever made me worthwhile and i see no reason to continue.
Just the usual wanting someone who doesn't want me and I can't get over it. Getting drunk and being neet ain't fun. On the plus side I'm quitting weed (been a week) and got a therapist for the first time in a while so I'm optimistic.
>>29680708
I know this exact same feel my lad.except I also want her to dominate me 2bh senpai
>>29683414
Do you have motivation left? Perhaps you can pick up a hobby, maybe something popular and "build" yourself up from there?
>>29680582
Kek, I busted my ass studying for a month and almost went nuts with stress but now I passed so I get to relax, watch anime and I'm getting a new graphics card and new laptop from my family plus a bunch of cash
Last night I had the fist night sleep that lasted more than 3 hours in a month
>>29683414
I feel the same way man >>29683051
Especially the bit about not knowing who you are. It feels like whatever personality I had has evaporated, and I'm now a shell of a person with no hope or connection to anyone or anything.
>>29680582
meh, just the usual >no gf, my life is not terrible besides it
it is an 'anon waste his day with anime' skit.
>>29680582
>move to southern california from glasgow because everyone there is on heroin and opiates
>people constantly harass me to say things and wont shut up about my accent when I just want to be left alone
no one replies to me irl
no one replies to me in here
Going to med school because my parents basically forced me to. I'm not sure if I'll succeed. I should have an heroed a long time ago.
>>29683543
>It's an "anon jacks off to doujin 3 times in a day" day.
>>29683567
Hey anon. How are you?
>tfw haven't got a text from anyone except my parents in months
>>29683597
Damn son, I couldn't handle that.
>>29683597
Fuck, that sounds tough. I hope you can make it man, from what I know even if you're into medicine, med school is hell.
What would you've chosen if your parents didn't force you to go to med school?
>tfw ugly as fuck
>tfw nothing I do will ever matter because of that
>tfw people will always hate me and treat me like shit
I gave up. I wasn't meant to be a part of this world.
>>29683651
Not well, been in a rut for months now. the rabbit hole I'm in is still pulling me in
I haven't slept in 2 days
I never confess my feelings to my oneitis in high school 9th grade
Because of this she would be in an on and off relationship with chad til senior year...
I missed my chance and never had the courage to tell her and I'll never she her again...
Everytime I think about this it cause my physical distress and I can never let it go....
>>29682722
>>29682967
>I wish I didn't do stupid stuff in my past.
>I can't stop thinking about the fact that it makes me a disgusting person and that it's impossible to fix it. What's done is done.
I can relate. I sexually manipulated other children when I was younger and even raped a girl while another was naked, watching, because I told them to take off their clothes. I stopped doing this when I was around 12 I think. If it randomly pops up in my head I fucking freak out and almost breakdown. Even writing this makes my whole room spin.
This may or may not do much to you, but it could've been worse. I don't think what you've done is 'that' disgusting. Seems more a case of being a horny hormonal teenager than anything else.
That said I still wouldn't share it with people.
I hope you learn not to dwell too much on the past and that you're doing better.
>>29682446
Save money up and move your ass outta there.
>>29683748
Ugly people succeed all the time. You are just lazy and giving up
>>29683683
Truth be told, I have no fucking clue. I don't have any dreams for the future and while I dont mind becoming a doctor, I dont know if I can even actually become one.
My brother is a doctor and seeing what he went through to get his degree makes me want to give up.
1/?
>Used to be bullied through elementary school, verbally harassed during middle school and almost fine during highschool
>Have been diagnosed with Clinical Depression more than a year and a half ago
>19 and already two times college dropout
>Mother has been threatening to kick me out daily for almost a decade now
>Mother says I simulate being ill in order not to do any efforts
>Mother tells me to find a job or go back to school and when I try to explain to her that it's not that I don't want to but that I can't she puts herself as the victim and me as the ingrate children that is too lazy and ruins her life.
>Half little brother is 10 years old and can literally harass me all day long and insult me while being protected by my mother who encourages him
>Can't live with father because I have panic attacks when I'm in his apartment
>Been suicidal for almost a decade
my wasted potential, and my potentially wasted potential.
>>29684027
2/2
>Being gay not being enough, I realised I'm trans
>Can't pay for HRT
>Can't come out
>Half my family is muslim
>Other half has christians
>Will probably never pass
>Actually is smarter than average, was too lazy to capitalise on it and is now too depressed to be productive
inb4 "smart but lazy meme", I actually was a precocious child that didn't get spotted
>Can't even brag about it because it just means I'm a huge piece of shit that didn't profit from the one thing life has given them
>Used to be obese and finally got back to a normal weight/slim body
>Gained about 30kg/60lbs in less than a year after a highschool
>Binge Eater
>Food and Soda addict
>Is scared to go out
>Is scared to see/call/talk to family
>My social life is basically a single discord server and a friend, but I haven't seen here face to face since december 2014
>Is about to start going to a day hospital
>Wish I could die but always freaks out before being able to actually do it
The only thing that actually give me pleasures are:
Downloading pictures on internet
Talking to my lover who lives on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean and we both still haven't found the courage to show our face to each others
Reading mangas, but I spend most of my time doing everything but that because I feel like I'll miss something if I spend my time reading.
It's my first time posting in one of those threads I think, I don't know if I feel relieved or even more depressed.
>>29680582
>What is troubling you?
I'm still alive. I'm still fucking alive after fucking eleven years of wishing and trying to die. This is fucking awful. Why can't I just leave?
>>29684052
kill yourself then, bitch. That, or start doing a lot of drugs.
>>29683982
Working 10x harder than everyone else just to get some money and only have people use you for your money is not success.
I have people I go out with and have fun, but everytime I go travel home from these events I always get anxious that the people I was just out with hate me and will never talk to me again after this. And I fear this made-up "rejection" almost all the time unless I am out with them again, for example I am scared that if I say "no" once, they will never even ask me again.
>>29684074
Not to mention I am scared of talking online with people I know IRL, does anyone here experience this?
>>29683497
Is there a name for this feeling? This is exactly how I feel 100% of the time
>>29684069
>kill yourself then, bitch
Already tried. Helium didn't work. Sleeping pulls didn't work. Hanging myself didn't work. Cutting my veins didn't work. I have yet to try throwing myself off of a building but given my incredible talent at fucking this kind of things up I can't help but think I'll fail.
i wanted to die for a long time but i kind of changed my mind recently. i still feel like dying but i don't want to have to do that.
now i'm pretty sure it's too late because i've destroyed my mind and my body with unhealthy habits and i'm so far behind where i should be that i'm just incapable of being normal.
i'm trying so hard now but i don't think i'm going to make it.
i'm afraid i'm going to die alone as a complete failure and i just don't know what to do.
>>29680582
Goodnight anons. I hope i'll die in my sleep peacefully and meet you all in the other side.
>>29684027
>I try to explain her that it's not that I don't want to but I cant
>>29684122
>Already tried. Helium didn't work. Sleeping pulls didn't work. Hanging myself didn't work. Cutting my veins didn't work. I have yet to try throwing myself off of a building but given my incredible talent at fucking this kind of things up I can't help but think I'll fail.
if you wanted to die, you'd die. it's not all that hard. don't lie to yourself or anyone else. you clearly want to live so just stop pretending.
>>29684122
Not who you were answering to but well...
It's not that it didn't work, it's just that you don't really want it. It's not hard to kill yourself, now actually finding the strength to do it is something else.
I'm not belittling your pain, but what you want is not to die but to live without the pain. Death is just the only way out you can see but not the path you want to take.
>>29684166
Let's be honest for a second, you're totally right. I've tried to rationalise it over and over again but it still doesn't work even with solid logic.
I wrote this 3 years ago and I'm still indecisive retard.
>>29683923
Shit. Has anything traumatic happened in your life before that?
Even if it hasn't, I feel sorry for you man. You sound like a nice person. Feeling extremely remorseful about it and the fact that it happened when you were very young and stopped it at 12 makes it look to me like you're a normal person now, who had a messed up childhood.
Do you know how the other people involved are doing now?
I wish you can find a way to cope with it, man.
>>29683998
Consider the fact that if you manage to pull through that hell, you'll have the power to influence so many people's lives in a good way, and they will fondly remember you.
What specialty are you interested in? Or have your parents chosen that as well?
>>29684194
Maybe because a person who is experiencing trauma isn't the best at logic? Maybe you don't think about it rather than obsess about it?
19 years stuck in a crazy abusive family. Still there.
The past twelve months have been the most eventful of my life. I thought freshman year of college might transform me into a functional person since it would be my first experience in something akin to the real world (was "homeschooled," actually neglected, until high school, at which point I was enrolled in online school), but my mom died and my family issues got even worse. Only one person at my college showed me brief sympathy: one "sorry." I made no friends and ate alone every day.
Now that it's summer, I've gone full NEET mode. I sleep until 4:00 PM and only leave my room to dig for whatever junk food's stocked in the pantry at night. I've never had a job and don't know how or if it's possible to start. I told myself at the start of college that I should take it slow, knowing just being out of my house by myself was a massive accomplishment for me. Meeting real people, however, has dropped my self-esteem to an all-time low. There's not a single one I wouldn't bow down to.
I'm going to see a psychiatrist for the first time soon. Hopefully there's hope to be had in that
>Manage to somehow get an LDR girlfriend
>We are both damaged people romance wise and can't handle getting hurt well
>She confesses me to a few days ago that she was dating someone else while I was courting her/asked her out.
>Was incredibly hurt by fact she lied to me and betrayed my trust
>But while I'm feeling hurt she was self loathing for being such a shitty person to me.
>She kept talking about suicide and all this stupid shit while I'm trying to get my shit together.
>Didn't really respond to it outside of "Don't kill yourself, I don't want that."
>Just kind of stayed quiet and if I did talk it was about other shit, it really bugged me.
>End up stop talking for the night and now she hasn't been on anything for the past two days and won't respond to anything I send her
>Worried she did something fucking stupid when I told her not to.
>She left literally nothing, nothing telling me she was going to do it or that she was going to put herself in a mental hospital so she doesn't do anything stupid
Has anyone been to a mental hospital? Can you have contact with the outside world while you are detained there?
I'm feeling all sorts of anger/worry/depression, and stupid shit inbetween. All I wanted was a girlfriend to love and love me back, I'm tired of this shit. If any of you fucking femanons read this, stop being fucking liars and learn to tell the god damn truth. This is why you don't fucking lie.
>>29684209
I grew up with a physically and psychologically abusing mom. I don't know how much it had to do with my actions later in my childhood. I personally think it's because I've been exposed to pornographic material and wanted to try it out. I obviously didn't realize at that age that it could have lasting effects on other people and I'm scared that it will bite me back some day.
Two girls seem to have forgotten, or just don't mention it. I hope it's the former.
I wished it was the only thing that happened in my childhood. I'm far from 'normal' now. No friends, NEET, everyone hates me, fear people, pretty much typical robot and I don't feel like anythings going to get better ever.
A fun thing to notice is that even though everyone looks down upon me for being a failure in my adult life, they also blame my mother for the bigger part. It didn't make much sense to me when I first heard it but it kinda makes me happy that not everyone thinks it's completely my fault.
>>29681140
You won't be alone for the rest of your life unless you chose to stay alone, but it might just be true that you'll never love as you have in this relationship.
>>29680582
I'm really lonely, and I'm wasting my life away doing nothing. Not much else to report
Oh and some fat girl who has personality issues who fucking worships me wants to be my gf.
>tfw a regular thin girl will never like you
>>29680582
The source of my wisdom and reliability comes from some horrible 20 (aware) years of dealing with mentally ill and abusive parents.
I don't want to be relied on anymore, I wish there was anyone for me to rely on. I wish there was even a need for me to rely on someone, I feel cold and nothing ever makes me break anymore, I handle situations of crisis with utmost calm and pragmatism.
People rely on my advice too much, I'm often scarily accurate and people benefit from my advice and they become ultimately dependent on my being a part of their life. They soon start relegating my humanity into a sheer machine that they just ask for "readings" and "advice".
I'm not pleased. I've recently thrown out the window all of the bothersome relationships that I kept going for possibly too many years now... My so called "best friend" included.
It's just me and my lover now. And I'm sour that this is the best I've ever felt in my life.
>>29684362
Abuse in early childhood fucks up a person hard. Your mom is a terrible person to have abused you, and I think that all of this wouldn't have happened if she didn't do that to you. You mom may have also suffered from abuse when she was young, as well. It's actually amazing that you stopped with the bad deeds so early on and realized that it was bad - that means that there is good inside of you that survived after you were abused. I really hope that you can forgive yourself and carry on to a better life.
>ordinary friday with nothing happening
>best friend has been awfully quiet
>decide to call it an early night
>look on facebook
>picture of the whole gang who held a surprise party for a friends 25th's.
>I haven't heard a damn thing
>it was arranged by his GF, apparently she said 'family only' yet the gang was still there
Guess I learned something today.
>>29684558
To have ever fooled yourself into believing that you were truly considered a "part of the gang" was the biggest mistake you ever did. You have learned your lesson now, don't trust random normies.
>>29684558
That's harsh. Will you confront him about it, or just cut him off?
Anyone else /goodfeels/ here?
I'm just thinking how much I've grown in the past year and a half and I feel pretty proud. I went from a NEET who used to go to sleep at 7am and wake up at 2pm to getting my first job, learning basic stuff like how to wash my own clothes, how to mop, how to drive, etc. getting a job, getting my own phone, paying my own bills, getting a car, not living with my parents, getting a small group of friends, and getting into shape.
I'll probably always be a virgin and never have a girlfriend but I got over that feeling and I'm fine with that fact.
>>29684594
Splendid job!
I think that by improving your social aspect of life, and continuing to do (more friends, meeting new people) will most likely lead to you meeting a nice girl.
>>29684547
You have a very nice way with words Anon. Suprisingly it's cheering me up. Thank you for that Anon.
As for my mom, She wasn't abused or faced any hardships. She lies a lot about her past to new people she meets about how she was abused and had to take care of her sisters even though the opposite is true. Even tried us to sell her bullshit lies. I think it's called gaslighting or something along those lines.
Most people in my family have agreed that she tries to live her life as tele novella. She likes to burn cash, fuck guys, act like she's important and all that shit.
I've been recently wondering if she has some kind of mental illness that makes her delusional. She basically fabricates her life and victimizes herself. I hate it.
Not really sure where I was going with that but it's nice to let it out and rant about it for a little while.
You seem like a nice person Anon. Don't let your sins hold you back too much from life.
>>29684589
Already did, best friend is quite afraid conflicts.
He was just as surprised as me to see that the rest of the gang (more like two people) where there.
Doesn't help I'm going on a summerhouse trip in 6 days with the gang, this whole happening killed my hype for it.
>tfw I had more social life when I was a kid
>>29680582
I want assurance someone is going to listen, for once, instead of never getting replied to.
Does anyone care about my feels? Does anyone want to know?
>>29684724
Lay it on me my man.
>>29683566
How did you make it to the states m8? I want to leave the UK and start a new life but don't know what the fuck to do
>>29684787
Dual citizenship
>>29684807
Why did you move to fucking California?
>>29680874
start working out.
learn self discipline.
put more if not any effort into EVERYTHING you do.
go on a diet to buff up more.
leave your apartment and go somewhere you've always had an interest in going.
if you're not interested in any locations then find one that many people have an interest or fondness with.
try to stand out just enough to let people know you are you and not some normie but not too much to let people assume (even though you are, and not as an insult, but a sad truth (and i'm terribly sorry)) a sad cuck beta neckbeard who sits at home doing nothing but looking at 2-dimensional asian women and complaining about your life in a place full of recluses just as degraded as you instead of taking action and doing something about it.
fix up your appearance.
get rid of the acne first.
don't worry about people giving you red-flaggish looks at the pharmacy, you'll never see them again.
same with the cashier, you're just another customer, you'll never see each other again, neither of you care about each other.
look up ways to treat your phimosis, schedule appointments with trustworthy doctors around.
keep track of budgets and schedules.
don't look for women, look for soulmates, somebody who you can relate with.
only EVER use online dating as a last resort, this method is always the least rewarding.
people always fall in love because of appearance, something about that person that reminds them of something they are familiar and fond with.
believe me when i say this, anon.
i've been there.
succeed where i failed.
>>29684703
I had like 6-7 friends when I was teenager. It was pretty swell man.
Now I haven't talked to anyone in two months.:^)
>Have gf who I met through an /r9k/ Skype thread
>Been together for over a year at this point
>Past month and a half as been hard, tons of arguing, yelling, etc
>A few days ago I got in contact with another girl through a mutual friend of ours
>Been talking constantly
>We hung out earlier today
>I got feelings for her, butterflies when I see her
>Texting, calling each other cute
>Basically flirting with another girl while I've been in a relationship for 14 months
What the fuck do I do. I never thought I'd be in this position. I can't tell if I genuinely like this girl or I just want to fuck her brains out.
Fuck.
This is awful.
>>29684690
Glad you feel better, buddy.
Yep, your mom sounds like a very toxic person. Please don't let her affect you too much, people like her tend to drag you down very fast.
You don't deserve a horrible life and once again, I hope everything goes well for you!
>>29684784
I have almost no family. My mother is a cokehead that left when I was seven years old, my half-brother is a scumbag drug dealer who is currently on the run from the cops, and I was separated from him when my mom left at age 7 when he went to live with his dad, my dad left before I was 2 months old.
feels bad
>>29684905
Well what's your life like currently? Sure it sucks not having a mother or father around but from the sounds of things, you're better off without them.
I'm lonely as fuck.
I'm a trans faggot that should be shot, I've tried to kill myself like twice, nobody, not even the health services, have tried to help me.
To top it all off, I have no money, no friends, and everything is falling apart.
I have a 9-6 job, but so far it's soul-crushing, googling for a living.
I have nothing to live for...
>>29680612
I very much need a pupper
>>29680777
Same here, I got caught with drugs and I can't leave the country for the next 8 years. I don't think I'll make it to 33.
>>29684970
I'm sorry to hear about that anon. Would you like someone to talk to?
>>29685060
sure, it's 2am and I should probably sleep, but I don't have to work tomorrow. yay.
I have no friends, no self esteem, and I'm becoming more paranoid by the day
I wish I was close with someone, but I'm so terrified of people
>>29684952
I have no idea who I want to be
I'm scared and want to stay here forever
I just want to feel love, warmth, goodness, instead of cold abyss
>>29684970
Sorry anon, but I must ask. What is this googling job? I'm tired of being the offices printer fuccboi. Is it usually minimum wage at least?
>>29685158
I'm a threat intelligence analyst.
It's fancy working for "I read blogs about security and then the company sells it for extortionate amounts"
It pays... eh. Well for entry-level.
>tfw /r9k/ has turned into such a shithole that a feels thread is the best thread in months
>>29684998
pic related
>>29685180
wording*
>>29684702
If you haven't paid for anything just cancel. No reason to spend a prolonged amount of time with a bunch of fuckers who don't truly want you around.
>>29683567
hi friend i'm here to reply back.
i lost my friends. don't know what to do now. i'll soon to be going back to work part time. i hated it there but once i get into a different department it would be better.
i also feel like i'm retarted. my mom claims i was tested when i was a kid.
>>29684320
As someone who was physically and verbally abused as a child it helps immensely to talk about with a support group of other abuse victims in that you are able to talk about your experiences with people who understand. I believe in you anon, we all do.
Shouldn't parents want their kids to improve their lives and be independent?
>>29685799
not if they're afraid of being alone or not having meaning anymore.
my mother sabotages me all the time because she has nothing else in her life.
>>29685263
I mean I wouldn't say he should shit on everyone because the girlfriend is a bitch.
I mean if one of my friends don't show up to something a few others do I assume they had plans or some shit, I would believe the girlfriend lying is just her own thing about being a selective cunt who she allows around her boyfriend. I know quite a few girls who are like that, they will only allowed girlfriend approved friends like a big smelly cunt.
>>29680582
i fell hard for the wagecuck meme guys
i am so tired monday through friday that it's all i can do to eat some crackers and fall asleep in front of the tv
fml
>tfw looking maybe for a job
>most likely gonna be in retail
fuck
>mfw my first kiss was a stage kiss
>mfw I felt a warmness inside of me each time it happened, despite my nervousness
>mfw I feel this even though it was an act
>mfw I had to put that poor girl through the pain of kissing me
I know i'll never feel that same warmness of affection again because I'm a socially retarded dipshit. It fills me with despair.
>never felt >tfw no gf
>never really cared for having a girlfriend, happy with having close friends and hanging out with them
>have two best bros, V and A
>A's had girlfriends in high school, but we weren't close enough to have it bother me
>go over to V's place, known him for over a decade, we've always been socially awkward comrades
>talk for about five hours straight, he suddenly brings up the fact that he has a gf
>spend the rest of the time that i'm with him thinking that i won't have anyone to hang out with anymore cause V's found himself a gf
>A's been talking about finding himself a girl too
>tfw i'll probably be the only one between the three of us whose left alone
I'm really fucking scared guys, I don't want to be alone.
>>29680582
Mom refuses to buy me any more vidya
>>29684970
I'm a bit lonely too, anon, so let's talk a bit:
How was your day?
>>29686938
i feel bad for you bro
>>29686986
Geez, that must suck. My mom is buying me more vidya cause steam sale.
>>29681099
>Were I more emotionally vulnerable I'd probably be diagnosed with a depression.
I know this feel bro
I'm so bad at making friends. Everyone around is getting along with each other and I get the sensation that they all hate me. I just can't bond with anyone over anything. I feel so detached from everything. Can't ever think of something to discuss about/don't know how to play with people.
>>29681099
>meanwhile i am posting on a mongolian moving pictures discussion forum
don't make it seem obscure and useless, we'll always be here for you.i will, anyway.
>>29687127
>I feel so detached from everything
I know that feel. Even when I'm in a group of friends I feel I'm not part of the circle.
>>29684865
listen me up senpai
if you think that your current relationship is going hard just finish that.
It's only about to go worse anyways. I've seen this shit happen lots of times.
If you dont have mutual friends with your current girlfriend or any other thing that leashes you to her, just finish that toxic relathionship.
>>29684594
You are the person i want to become
>work at a warehouse dispatching
>everyone socializes and knows each other and has a fun remark to make whenever they walk across someone else... except me.
>I'm the outcast at my workplace.
>when people did try socializing with me I could never come up with a response. basically just answer yes or no
>can only carry out a small convo when in the company of 1 person i know well in and out.
I think my issue is that I'm not necessarily honest with how much I really know about things. I look into video games but I'm no expert. I look into tech but am no expert. Look into a lot of different things but never reach a good understanding of anything so never have enough to talk about. and I'm too embarrass to talk about my social life because it's pretty fucking pathetic. I'm a loser basically that's why I guess I'm just too afraid to talk to people.
>>29680582
>Live with cousin I'm secretly in love with
>Be a neet/ awkward fuck
>I think she hates me deep inside, she won't talk to me for days for some reason, but she's very nice with everyone around her.
>She'll avoid at all cost any type of interaction with me, and if I try to talk to her, she'll just give me one-liners, and the conversation will end there.
>Have to interact with her every single day, cause we work for one of our aunts.
>don't know how to drive, so she's the driver, awkward silence for like 20 mins till' we arrive.
>get jealous/angry when she talks to dudes/go to parties.
Pls kill me.
>>29687150
I have 1 friend that we chat all the time. Do things together often like hit the gym and go to teh beach and to bars out occassionally. When we finally get there, there isn't anything to talk about. I think the only thing that keeps us close is through what we discuss via text messages because its easier to share things that are personal. However when we're in public and have to be aware of what others might think of if they overhear, the convo stops. When he meets up with his other friends then he nonstop just chats with them. I've overheard him discuss semi personal things with other people and its a bit embarrassing but other people don't care too much. I'm the quiet one in the group though. No one knows me. It sucks.
>>29687280
That just sucks. I have a best friend and we barely talk both online and IRL; we just play Dota on Steam and that's it.
> However when we're in public and have to be aware of what others might think of if they overhear, the convo stops
What kind of topics do you discuss with your buddy?
>>29687255
>Cousin feels
I've been feeling really shitty over my own cousin feels, but you definitely have an objectively shitty situation.
Do you think she's picked up on your feelings and doesn't like them?
>tfw I was the one to break it off with a narcissist friend after he crossed the line
>tfw I know him well enough to know its still eating him up inside because he's got the thinnest skin of any human bean I've ever known
>tfw I hope it ends in a divorce for him so his genuinely sweet, genuinely "too good for him" wife can find someone worth her love
Sorry about cutting you loose, old sport, but you were literally the only human being I've ever known who couldn't meet my minimum standards for friendship.
Do you realize how pathetic that is?
Do you realize that even just one compliment or expression of gratitude would have kept me around?
Do you realize that you have everything I want (a house, a wife thats CRAZY for you) and I don't envy you because you're such a miserable person?
>>29687364
we bantz each other a lot. its pretty cringey. he shares with me a lot of his weight stuff like how much he's losing and stuff. and we talk about stuff we want to do like. Lets go to a club sometmie or lets go camping or something like that. honestly we never talk much about stuff i guess that's why texting works. in person you have to have a legit conversation and that's just oo much for me i guess.
>balls getting smaller
>growing tits
My life was 100% better just months ago
oh boy here comes a story for ya.
> at 19 started studying graphic design, loving every second of it
> feel confident and secure
> at the age of 21 I got my first gf, a classmate
> great student, amazing sense of humor, hard working, responsible, down to earth a 10/10 for me
> that same year on the second semester I became the president of the Design student union
> everything its amazing
> until the beggining of april
> my parents divorced, it shouldn't be that big of a deal, but they now hate their guts.
> have to listen to both of them tearing each other apart
> had a dog, the sweetest dog ever.
> after a long night of working usually at 3am I will go to see him, ha was such a wonderful fluffball
> on april I moved to an appartment
> had to give my dog away
> cried while I gave him a last hug
> fast forward to the beggining of may
> students are going nuts, the student union of law, took their building by force, demmanding answers to where our money is going
> the students of our campus (design, architecture, arts and journalism) are demanding action
> we try our best, working to solve the issues while going to classes. we go to reunions with the chancellor
> meanwhile things are not going good with the gf we don't see eachother, I work too much
> it's her birthday the 7th of may
> give her a beautiful t-shirt as a gift (she hated it)
> as the party ends, we go to bed
> we didn't kiss, she just slept
> I knew it was the end
> next morning she tells me she is asexual
> try to be comprehensive talk to her about it, see if we can workaround
> she tells me that we can have sex if I want sometimes I know she wouldn't enjoy it
> couldn't see myself doing it, still love her, she was still an amazing girl
> ask her if she enjoyed at the very least the connection we shared the two times we had sex before
> she didn't, it hit me
> all the kisses and loving words, the warm embrace, the loving caresses, all fake
> cont'd
>>29681168
Just move to Berlin, it's full off neets and all kinds of useless fucks
they will probably purged as soon as we got a proper leader again, but oh well
>>29687531
I hope this ends in a car chase in Monte Carlo.
>2 years ago
>Go on dates with girl
>Really into her
>She openly rambles on about some guy she is in love with on this one date
>Nope.jpg
>Move on and start dating over girl
>Girl reveals to me that she was really into me (?)
>Fast forward a year later
>Still really into her
>Girl and I are in a FWB kind of thing (hook up here and there)
>A few months ago she brought up us dating and how she wanted to give it a shot
>A few days later she calls it off because she "doesn't want to ruin what we got going and our friendship"
>Now painfully have to hear her talk about other guys she is talking to and going on dates with while I'm madly into her
>tfw
I plan on getting a face lift after I graduate to see if that helps at all. Probably won't.
I can't move past this until my emotions relating to the situation completely die off. I have to be able to feel absolutely nothing about it all if I want to actually get past it, otherwise it'll keep having an impact. I wish I knew how long that would take. The outcome can only be me finally getting over it and moving on. So until that time, it can only actually get worse until I finally do just stop caring, at which point it doesn't actually get better, it just ends.
This is really all it all comes to in the end? This is what it all built up to? Mistakes were made, yes, but in the end this is what the experience led to? I'm starting to ponder exactly what I was possibly meant to amount to in any aspect of life.
>>29687410
Yep, I think so, maybe she has noticed the way I look at her, I wish I just could forget about her, or at least stop feeling the way I do, or simply stop caring, the sad thing is, I think about her all day, everyday.
I'm so tired guys. It's exhausting to just breathe. I've only been disappointed in life. It's like I feel like some good shit's coming my way, but my patience has worn thin and it feels like nothing is going to happen, I'm scared of being disappointed again and at the same time I don't care. The thing I want so dearly I can't have, and it's fucking maddening. I'm a loner cause I'm tired of people disappointing me, but for some reason people are drawn toward me. If I decide to give them a chance they never fail to disappoint. I know I sound like a fucking prick but you know the sad part? My standards are low.
I'm pretty autismo. Every time I try to do anything I get left out when people feign friendliness. It's getting really frustrating, because I'm trying to pull my life together and people keep blocking me in the most condescending way possible.
>>29687531
> go home
> get drunk out of my ass
> cry like a motherfucker
> fast forward to the 10th of may
> we still talk about her asexuality, try to be comprehensive, read articles abot asexuality
> determined to keep going, I want to see her happy.
> still completely exhausted
> working till 5am almost everyday
> things are not going good with the chancellor
> 17th of may
> he closes our campus just before a big reunion with him and a huge assembly.
> nervously look for my gf, seek a hug to gain strenght, hug her I told her that I loved her her response was "good for you"
> laugh nervously
> give speech to 1400 students, scared as shit
> my gf and my friends go home while in the assembly
> I really needed them with me
> I needed them the most that day
> we take our campus, ceasing all activities as a form of protest
> stay in campus for 2 weeks, barely sleeping, doing guard duty because I couldn't sleep
> in those 2 weeks I recieved the worst backslash, calling me and my team lazy, good for nothing parasites
> rumors spread around that we are corrupt and take money from the chancellor
>half the campus hates us
> in those 2 weeks I never recieved a text or a call from the gf and my friends
> the chancellor responds, we bring our written requests
> we gave the building
> june 3rd
> my gf breaks up with me
> tells me that she doesn't love me anymore
> she was going to tell me the 17th of may
> I'm heartbroken, but I try to come up to good terms
> fast forward to today
> I still see her in classes with my old friends
> I try took past the faults and still work with them
> nothing is the same I'm completely depressed
I lost everything, my confidence, my friends, my dog, my family, I'm scared when I go to uni, I just want this semester to end.
sorry for the bad english it is not my main language
>(pic related the t-shirt the last gift I gave to my ex)
>>29688211
that's fucked anon
how have you not killed yourself yet? i know i would have
>>29688366
I've been thinking about it, but I really want to finish my career and move forward, I'm not a bad graphic designer at the very least, so I find peace in my work
>>29688211
With how Shakespearean this is, it's gotta have some resolution
>>29688455
not really, I suppose things are still happening, finals are pretty close, so students don't have the time to demand things to the student union, I still see my classmates and my ex and I try my best to stay in good terms, but is getting harder everyday.
>>29680582
The only girl I ever liked told me that I would be miserable and alone for the rest of my life. That was 3 years ago, and I remember it every day.
>>29688455
>>29688593
>>29688211
The Shirt he gave showed samurai fighting each other, just as our hero battled his insecurity and the forces of his campus.
>>29688685
wow, I never saw the connection before, but I'm no hero, heroes don't exist, only people who want to see a better world.
>>29680582
My life is worse than most people here
I sometimes browse /r9k/ and read a few posts
How am I supposed to feel when you guys have such nice lives?
>>29687791
Honesty dude, moving out the first chance you get would probably be one of the best things you can do. You don't really give yourself a chance to move on by being around her all the time and being surrounded by her things.
My cousin is a bit of an aspie so she never picks up on me liking her that way. Thank god for small mercies, I guess.
>>29688747
I apologize that my problems are trivial. I understand that they are, too. It's a result of having a very trivial and forgettable life, all the problems with such a life are trivial and minor in the grand scheme of things, too.
i feel more alone than i ever have. i don't even fit in that well here.
by now i'm pretty sure there is absolutely no one on earth that i will ever have a friendship with and i'm not sure if i even want it anymore.
people are shit and that includes majority of all of you here. i hate you shallow, superficial, retarded motherfuckers who pretend to be something you're not. drop dead.
i don't wish good things on anyone and my real dream is for the entire planet to spontaneously explode and take all of you out along with me.
go fuck yourselves.
I haven't had a friend since I was 16. I'm 20 now.
I didn't die because I wore a helmet while biking.
I was so stupid
hopelessly in love with a girl at my job
99% sure she doesn't feel the same way
oneitis sucks, drinking to feel better
>>29688828
I took about four minutes to try to understand your post, but I couldn't.
I gave up because I can't understand your last sentence and I don't know if your first sentence is a genuine apology or hurtful irony.
I'm not lying.
This is what happens when you suffer form a very severe mental disorder.
/r9k/ is full of people with happy lives.
>>29688734
That's exactly something a hero would say, listen, asshole, that was some cool shit you pulled with the college, doesn't matter if it didn't work out exactly how you wanted it to, that was an experience that most people have never had. Be proud of that.
I'm sorry about your ex-girlfriend, eventually you will get over her, just keep doing cool shit, and you'll find someone that's cool too.
Shit man I've got a lot of friends and get pussy when I want to, but I feel dead inside. Look confident to everyone but I've got no confidence at all, I love and hate myself at the same time and I don't know what to do. I'm afraid that my future fucks up because of this shit
>babyface but in a cute and kinda handsome way
>hair starts shedding
my looks depend on my hair so I am totally fucked if I ever get bald.
I barely have any confidence now so I really have no idea how I am gonna cope with this shit now.
>>29689064
Get one of those hair implants or shit like that
>>29680582
The thing that bothers me the most, is that I don't know, I just don't know what to do. I never had any goals, things just happen. Wake up, for no reason whatsoever, I don't have really anything to wake up for. If only I would've acted "normal" in certain situations and would have known what to do, things would have been much more better. But, here I am, typing this...
>>29680582
I have a good friendship with a girl I met in college last year. Like, bff's, you know. We dated for a few months at the time, but it didn't work out very well. After that, we spent a couple of months without talking to each other. Suddenly, things came back. We started to have conversation and going out.
One day, she told me that she's been dating another girl. For me, it was fine. At that time, I didn't have feelings for her but seen her as a friend, a good friend. She began to tell me everything about the relationship, like discussions, good times, worries, that kind of stuff, always asking me for advice, or just in need to have someone to listen those problems.
So, they've been dating for over a year by now, I think. Recently, I've found out that her gf is mad about me, that she doesn't trust my friend anymore, and constantly arguing with her about our friendship, and how she tells everything about the relationship to me, and about the fact that we still go out without her sometimes (a few times, she comes along).
The thing is, recently I've been thinking that maybe she is just using me to make her gf
jealousy, you know?. And don't think I like her or have any kind of feelings for her, but I still refuse to believe that, for over a year, she might me just using me...
Any opinions?
>>29688964
Do not confuse happy with "not as bad"
One does not need to be the worst off in life to live an unhappy life. Happiness is relative, different things get people down. This is a world where everyone has someone else worse off than them, it's a rule. Likewise, there is always someone better off than you, that goes for everyone. You mistake people having more fortunate circumstances as the same as them having happy lives. That is an impossibility to assume, because no one handles the same experiences the same way. Some people lose a chance and bounce back, some people lose a chance, face the impossibility and the fact it's impossible is what crushes them. Some people succumb to their own self-hatred, other people brush it off. Some people get over losing a family member just fine, other people struggle because they don't deal with death of incredibly close relatives as well.
It's all relative. No I am not saying your problems are not of concern or reason to feel down. I am saying that you feel that way precisely as proof that it's relative. That's why you can't just go and throw the word "happy" around. This is just the surface of what human emotion is.
>>29684069
Why would you just go on r9k to be mean to suicidal people? You know you're wrong, and what you're saying doesn't actually make you feel any better. Maybe the first time you typed in the words, "kill yourself" you got a smug little rush, but its not happening anymore, and now you're just wasting time
>>29684320
That's tough anon
Its good youre seeing a therapist. Youre not giving up. I hope it works out for you
The fact that you're taking proactive steps, like going to college and leaving the house, or even seeing a therapist, puts you above a lot of robots
>>29687502
See a doctor
>>29688865
Read "The Catcher in the Rye"
Its a good book and you'll relate
Also, it has the advantage for being good for different reasons as you read it at different ages
I made some poppy seed tea. It's only been 15 minutes and it's hitting me pretty fucking strong. Holy shit. Well I hope I don't overdose and die, but if I do I guess that's just the way it's gotta be. Lve and let live.
>>29689148
Don't feel bad for people that is shit, this being said
Ask her, tell her how you feel and if she fucks up, cut her up. Does she speak to you first? She wants to go out with you? Does she look suspicious or false?
>>29689165
I used to think happiness was relative back then when I could write like you did. Then I suffered from a very severe disorder that makes me unable to write a proper reply to you. I literally can't argue with you so maybe you have the right to think your arguments are right because I can't contradict you.
>>29689269
Happiness is an emotion, and it is relative. It's not about whether you can contradict me or not, happiness being an emotion is a fact. Emotions, by sheer nature, cannot be called anything other than relative.
>>29689315
You can say whatever you want and think you're right. I can't contradict you. I guess you must be happy making a claim and forcing it on me by saying it's a fact because I think of a way to argue back other.
>>29689369
Yet your passive aggressive "I guess you must be happy making a claim and forcing it on me" suggests you do have the capability to at least form an indirect argument.
You are arguing with a fact, not me. Happiness is an emotion. Even the supposed "Absolute emotions" follow the rule of relativity by person, whether said absolute emotions are absolute comes entirely from the person's overall perspective on their own life. But that is relative to the person, another person given those same "absolutes" can and usually will react differently to the circumstances.
I need to make money off the internet but I have no methods of doing so.
It's that or becoming a wagecuck.
>>29688984
thank you! have an amazing night dude!
>>29680582
>that feel when no(0) gf(s)
oldie but goodie
Moved in to an apt with a really good friend, is a girl, time passes we become closer friends. Begin to develop feelings, think I'm in love.
Getting a new place together, pretty sure she doesn't/won't feel the same way. Not sure what to do.
>>29689228
I just don't know how to ask her about that in the right way. I mean, without fucking everything up by being to rude, got it?
Answering your questions: 1)sometimes yes, sometimes no. It depends on the situation. When she wants to take something out of her chest, she comes to talk to me. Or just talk shit, about life, college, etc. 2) We like to hangout with some other friends. What I found really odd was that, last month, she invited me to a party that she'll throw at her place. Her gf will be there, and she asked me to be "friendly" with her, like treat her fine, talk to her, show that I don't have any kind of interesting in stealing her girl, if you know what I mean. 3) Not at all. At least, I don't have this impression. (sorry for bad english)
>>29689558
Just ask dumb ass.
>>29689558
I don't say this often, but be sure you can differentiate between infatuation and love. Love comes after infatuation, never before it.
>>29689476
Sell used panties
Pretend to be a girl
>been 2 years since last breakup
>keep trying to look places for someone, mostly just friends to start with
>all of the decent people i found have removed me at this point
>looking for people has become terrible, people just don't seem interesting, don't share enough in common, introverted as well and fairly shutin so i can't relate with normies/extroverts, along with beingmostly gay
i don't get how some people do it, friend can add someone from a thread and within a week they're dating and doing stuff together
i'm just so tired of being alone
>>29689589
It's been quite a while now, I'd say well passed infatuation. I'm finishing up a 2nd degree at uni, not really sure what to do with my life at this point. I'm concerned that I just won't be good enough or couldn't make her happy. I'm not really sure if it's self loathing at this point or trying to be realistic.
I will be forever waiting for something good to happen to me rather than making something good happen to me.
>>29689739
>I'm concerned that I just won't be good enough or couldn't make her happy. I'm not really sure if it's self loathing at this point or trying to be realistic.
Let me speak from experience, to maybe help you avoid a mistake that could worsen that self-loathing. Let her make that decision, whether you're good enough and can make her happy. Not your own thoughts
>>29689454
I can barely think, but clearly, I can tell you are a very immature person because you talk about complicated things about life even though you don't know widely known things such as the fact that mental disorders can make people extremely easily get annoyed. I know I sound very aggressive but this is what happens you have a severe mental disorder. I can also tell you are immature because you keep forcing your opinion on me by saying "it's a fact" which is just your opinion. I tell you I can't argue and you keep having fun trying to argue back because I can't reply and you want to beat me down verbally.
It's like you are a normie and don't give a care about how I feel and just want to beat me at an argument. I'm sorry but I think that as I thought about most people here, you are one of many disgusting people with happy lives who don't know what it means to be unhappy and who can't empathize with people who suffer. I hate people like who barely have any life experience but talk to people who suffer from severe mental disorders thinking they think and feel the same as you do. I know I am very aggressive but you talking like I do it on purpose and talking to me like I am a fine person who can think and argue normally and who is lying because you don't know anything about mental disorders annoys me. I'm going to sleep, I don't want to waste time talking with someone insensitive. I regret my youth when I used to be like you and attack people in pain because I didn't know my words could have much more impact than I thought. I don't wish good night to pricks.
>ex announced today she's getting married
>he's like me in almost every way
>I still think about her all the time
>still have a bottle of her perfume in my room, that I'd bought for her not long before we broke up
>sprayed some of it on a pillow earlier and cuddled with it, imagining it was her
At least I found a place that will fix my old DS Lite for cheap. Gonna drop it off on Tuesday on my way to work.
>>29689454
It was the last time I waste 20 mins writing a post to a prick. I wish you get my mental disorder and experience with your own brain how it feels to need several minutes to write a single line
I wish you get unhappiness and even die, people like you don't deserve to live.
>>29689854
>I can tell you are a very immature person
You are the person claiming happiness is not relative, and being the person who posts in a thread saying people who are down live happy lives without knowing their own issues.
Knock off the arrogance. You've yet to be given an argument, you were told what is a fact, this is something you could use a dictionary for if you truly needed a reminder, or google and look up emotions. This is not an argument, you are not arguing anything, you literally threw out insults in your big wall of text.
>Like you are a normie
You literally just undermined everyone else's life experiences to call them happy just because you are not. Do not be a hypocrite
>>29689794
What would that something good be?
>>29680582
I don't think I can feel anymore.
>>29689816
Do you mean to say that I should tell her and then see what she thinks as to whether or not I'd be good enough for her ?
>>29680582
I have strong feelings for her
>she has none what so ever for me
>I'm a 330 lb autistic man child
>i have greying hair
>stomach ulcers
>chronic depression
>I hate going outside
>I have a job I hate...
>>29689975
You should act on your feelings, and let what happens happen. You said you're certain it's beyond infatuation, correct? At the point of infatuation, you should have considered making a move, but it's gone beyond that as far as you can tell. There is absolutely no reason for you not to try. You're holding yourself back due to a concern that she should be the judge of.
Don't make the mistake of listening to an insecurity. You really will hate yourself if you don't at least listen to how you feel
>>29690006
Start out small with the changes man. losing weight will help a lot of the physical stuff
> mom's been mentally unstable ever since i was born
> grew up while being called an useless piece of shit
> dad was never home because work
> been beated up on regular basis by mother
> people on my classroom hated me because reasons
> befriend one guy
> befriend othre 3 guys
> "maybe my life will get better"
> mother had a cerebrovascular accident
> only one to keep her company
> still being treated like shit but i didn't care, she was my mother
> she gets better
> life seems to get better again
> nope.jpg
> another cerebrovascular accident
> can't do anything this time
> been hating myself ever since
> tried to kill myself but too scared to do it
> moved with my father far away from my only friends
> started writing stories and songs
> dad asks me why do i write such sad lyrics
> "dont know, maybe i just like writing this or maybe i just have a horrible depresion that no-one knows"
> he thinks it's a joke
> it is not
Right now?
Everything...
I just ate peanut butter on a banana and fapped to a chick's sexy ass. I'm not depressed but I'm not really happy either. Because even if food tastes good, or fapping feels nice, my life is still hollow and it always will be.
>>29690030
I think you're right. Thanks for the sound advice. I need to just make it happen and instead of just holding back my feelings for another year.
>>29682263
hue needs new pics
>>29690079
Good luck. Don't make the mistake of letting insecurity get the better of you. I wish you the best
>tfw you don't remember what it's like to be happy
>tfw you don't remember what it's like to cry
>why are emotions so hard /r9k/
>>29682329
OHHOHOO THIS ONE HIT ME FUCKING HARD
>>29690104
I know that feel. I mostly just feel a vague sense of loss, and emptiness. Like somebody took a piece of my heart away or something.
Unhappy with weight. Cut gym back to two times a week, and getting a better control on my diet. Trying to hit sub 2k every day.
I love my cat, he is my best friend.
I slowly see him settle down into middle age and realize we may not have much time left together.
>>29683867
i hope you get better anon. i love you
>Dad was diagnosed with cancer, had a pretty serious heart attack 5 months ago
>Mother is severely depressed ever since her mother died
>Sister has tons of daddy issues, has attempted suicide a couple of times, is really pretty but batshit insane, can't control her temper, thus is always lonely
>Other sister went into the career path she loved and now is poor cause no jobs
>Everyone is super smart, even me
>I'm a lazy sarcastic asshole with no friends
>Fat
>Acne
And yet people still talk to me and even ask me to go out with them to clubs and shit, to parties and cookouts, and I refuse to go, for fear of not being liked there, despite them inviting me.
I feel like I'd just be awkward and wouldn't fit, so even though I want to go, I don't. This guy is always telling me stuff like " come hang out with me and my friends dude, I'll get you laid I promise," while at work. But I pussy out and never do it.
Never had sex either. Pretended to go to college for 2 years but didn't actually go. FML.
I got stood up this weekend. Feels really bad.
>>29690330
Why not just get multiple different kinds of pets. Like why not raise a pack of gerbils? They make cool burrows and shit if you drop the money to pimp their cage out. Rats are great pets too, but they are fragile unlike stacies vagina that can take the football team in it. Plus, mice/rats/gerbils etc all have a fairly short lifespan. Might help you get over the intransigence of life. Or get a bearded dragon and enjoy him perching on your shoulder as you masturbate.
>>29681477
they don't and no one does
>>29680582
>have had nightmares every night since I was a small child
>not some pansy-ass, running from a monster kind of nightmares
>skin getting peeled off of me while I'm still alive, fucking corpses, screaming-eyeless-babies eating fetuses kind of nightmares
>go to bed early, nice and happy, had a great day for the first time in years and years
>almost instantly start having pants-shittingly terrifying nightmares that get seared into my eyes and ears
>wake up six hours later soaking wet from sweat, out of breath, screaming
>it's only 2AM
>no hope of getting sleep for awhile again
I fucking hate this so goddamn fucking much
>>29680730
I actually managed to get a date with a person like this. I had finally concurred the friend zone. We were dating. Then, one day all of a sudden, I get a message like this:
>we need to talk. I'm not really into dating right now, can we just be friends
Sucks man.
>>29680982
This is me, but with brown girls. They bullied me really badly, and the thing about girls bullying you is that all the normie dudes join in as well to get their attention. I became the biggest loser in grade aor all the years in middle school. Even the girl I had a crush on, who I barely ever even spoke to one day just randomly called me a ugly fuck. Shit hurt man
Only attracted to white and Japanese women now.
>>29687531
>>29688211
I would've went insane.
>be lv 22 KHV NEET
ok
>get hired by family into comfy IT job
ok
>work from home
ok
>get promoted after one year
ok
>parents asked why I stopped going out when I got job
ok
>upgrade CPU
ok
>upgrade GPU
ok
>upgrade fucking everything and buy a $1000 HTC Vive (virtual reality)
ok
>binge buy like $400 of games during current Steam sale
ok
>don't feel like playing video games or watching anime at all anymore
ok
>parents ask if I even plan on ever moving out after dropping so much cash on hardware and vidya
ok
>parents ask if I even have friends anymore
ok
>parents ask if I'm ever going back to school
ok
>meet up with friends for first time in forever (8-12 months)
ok
>leave within 40 minutes without saying a word
ok
>wanted to go Japan for all my life, now have money to do so, don't want to go anymore
ok
>gained 30 lbs in one year off ordering so much food and eating out at restaurants
ok
>kids screaming during the day and niggers playing trap from their cars at night outside my house
ok
>dad literally screams and throws wrenches at me when I'm apathetic about whatever car job I'm helping him with
ok
>those things that used to piss me the fuck off don't bother me in the slightest anymore
ok
>have money to finally move out of my shit town into the local big city where my friends are
ok
Yepp. I have a 4K monitor, GTX 1080, Vive, bought Total Warhammer, Dark Souls III, Hearts of Iron IV, Overwatch, have literally not even launched any of those games. Torrented 50GB of anime in June and did not watch a single episode. Didn't even use my Vive for real once. I paid four months' of car insurance and didn't drive anywhere during that time. I don't give a fuck anymore.
Money doesn't fucking mean shit when you're already dead. Fuck friends and family too, nobody really needs them to live in the physical sense i guess. I'm just watching numbers go up in my account. I only give a shit about alcohol, but if that disappeared tomorrow I'd be fine too I guess
>>29684690
Holy shit that looks just like my cat. He passed away awhile back and I still miss the fluffy bastard
>>29681343
she could be dead.
I fucked up last year, bad. Had a mental breakdown, and managed to lose my job, my car, my apartment, dropped out of college, almost died and worst of all, severed most of my friendships with people who I once saw myself growing old with. I had to move back in with my super dysfunctional family, have bounced between several shit jobs since then, and now I have maybe one or two friends who stuck it out with me. It's amazing just how quickly you can go having a decent life, to rock bottom.
I'm not a robot, I have a gf and Im joining the military. If anything I'm a failed normie, I just lurk here out of some morbid curiosity, and to remind myself that it could always be worse. But you guys reveal a much darker part of society and the human condition that no one really talks about. If anything thiugh, I think you guys are on to something.
>>29680609
You might paradoxically feel better when/if you actually go. You can always off yourself later if not; worth at least trying first.
>>29680582
Probable impending business failure due to economic forces far larger than we are. Unclear. Planning to fight it out a bit longer; at least it's not my money and they said to go ahead. Gradual erosion of ties to old friends from college; watching many of them turn into shallow materialistic drones when we used to have genuinely interesting conversations. Surrounded by mostly dumb people because I'm not at a top university anymore. Still haven't found a solution to that after several years since graduating. Long-term gf broke up with me due to work stress. Ironically I feel a lot better after admitting that nothing really matters anymore and I can always ctb if things actually get bad. It's made it easier to talk to people, for instance, because I no longer care about rejection or shallow judgments.
>>29680708
Lolwut
Try dating other more plentiful types of Asians first to build experience
>>29680819
Get a prostitute. Save up for a good one. It should only be a few hundred bucks anyway probably.
I always told myself growing up that even though my childhood was lonely and my teenage years were wasted on depression, at least I'm smart enough to be successful as an adult.
Now I'm an adult, I really have nothing. No happy memories, no talents or skills, not much hope for the future. It's all my own fault.
>>29683597
Doctors have a super high suicide rate and if you admit to being depressed you often lose your medical license. Social expectations in the U.S. are sort of a big abstract torture chamber.
>>29684122
I am impressed. You sound like Rasputin. If you really want to go, you can use hydrogen sulfide in an enclosed space (look up the chemicals to mix), charcoal-burning for CO in an enclosed space (look up proper procedure and double up with sleeping pills), or overdose on barbiturates or strong opioids mixed with a lot of alcohol. All of those will work almost 100% of the time with approximately zero pain. If you don't actually want to die, though, then perhaps try to figure out why you feel terrible (probably perceived lack of social contact or respect; that causes depression) and see if it might be fixable.
>>29684145
Success is overrated. Try senseless hedonism for a bit.
I was contemplating what has been digging into me.
I feel like a bird in a cage. I tried to escape the cage by joining the military and move far from home but I just traded one cage to another.
I feel like I can achieve a lot more but at the same time I realize I'm not the most intelligent person. Im not an idiot but I'm no genius either. I feel extremely limited and held back.
Hate interacting with the people I know. Hate working with the people I work with.
Hate the way I look and sound. Hate the way the world is.
I wish I could be 100% apathetic to how things are but I can't help but care. I want to do good and help but I don't know how and I don't think I can.
I keep fighting through and trying to do the right thing but the world makes it hard to.
I wish I knew what to do. I wish I knew who I wanted to be and how to be it. But the more I think about things the more lost I get. So I stop thinking and just go through life.
I start to drink more and try to forget my worries. I get a brief moment where I forget. But it's brief.
I want to be a good person. I want to make a difference in the world. I realize it's all pointless. Everything is pointless.
But I want things to move forward. I want things to work. I want people to get along. I want people to care.
Life is confusing. Need to break out of this self made cage. But I don't think I can. I've overthought everything to the extent I'm starting to lose myself. I just go through life with a mask now. I'm acting. I'm not me. But then again I don't know who I am.
>>29685151
I've actually come to appreciate cold abysses. They are often lonely places though. I prefer gfs who also appreciate such places, but they are rare.
>>29682598
Try reading. It helped me to overcome boredom
>>29690506
Interesting. This happened to me once when I took a bunch of 5-HTP shortly before falling asleep. Something about high serotonin levels and dreams. They became something straight out of Saya no Uta; everything was flesh-monsters and tunneling through flesh and chemicals. For some reason it didn't bother me very much though. I'm pretty numb.
Got a long term gf that reminded me what it was like to belief in myself.
Relationship ended, and the sad part is I miss the motivation she gave me more than her. Im so weak I need someone to feed me motivation to the point that my brain doesnt even care about the emotional relationship being gone anymore its just madly scrambling for ways to motivate itself.
>have crippling low self-esteem
>Bipolar depressionl
>live with family and yet I feel like a ghos, even with friends
>confront family and try to explain myself
>"But anon, your special!"
>"you got everything!"
>"something, something, starving infants of poverty stricken continent"
>"be positive!"
>any other attempts to explain fall on deaf ears
>be embraced by stagnating solitude and oblivion
>next week, same verse same as the first.
I want off this ride Robots, I'm so damn tired.
>tfw leaving gfs house at night after huge arguement and riders on the storm comes on as the sounds of thunder start
>>29680582
>rated 38 at overwatch
>thought I was pretty good at it
>turns out I'm absolute shit
>>29684207
My tiny, metal heart hurts
>>29686848
>not kissless
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTT OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUTTTTT
YYYYOOOOUUURRRR NNNNOOOTTTT WWWWEEELLLCCOOOMMMEE HEEERREEEE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>29693604
It's okay Anon, if you're not one of those niggers that play WM or Hanzo the entire game without switching then you will climb next season. This season is just a test anyway.
I had no human interaction aside from /r9k/ for the past 7 months.
I just want some irl company.
>you're there for her through the breakup
>you maintained your friendship throughout the 2 year relationship
>no troubles between us whatsoever
>we both like the same shit, we both can be chill and sit in a room together and just do our own thing
>I can give you the foundation you need, the reliability you want
>you can be my motivator like you have been throughout our friendship, encouraging me to try new things and being someone I can show my accomplishments to without feeling like bragging
>I know it's been a rough 6 months since the breakup. Shit sucks but I'm glad I can be there for you
>oh you have an okcupid profile now...
I think it sucks that young men like me can't act cute, or be playful in the same way a young girl can.
I'm not resenting women for having something i don't have, but i wish i knew of ways i could act cute in a way that doesn't instantly creep people out.
Because let's be honest, i have more in common with a 16 year old girl than a 26 year old man. I squeal when i see cute things, and emotional scenes in anime, hugs, giggling, teddy bears, approval, cute things, cute animals, open displays of affection. I get tearful and easily sentimental. I'm shy to approach strangers. I'm dependent.
I just feel like everyone wants a bearded macho man that they can call daddy.
All these dick size threads have ruined my mood this whole day
>>29694037
I want IRL companionship, but IRL people are too scary.
Sigh...
Hedgehog dilemma
>>29694219
know girl like this
>complains about being alone on facebook
>drinks, hangs out with her cats and watches netflix
>ask if she wants to hang out last January
>no thx
She got a DUI and lost her job, now doing some mental health stuff. Her family and mine are close so I never wanted to push the hanging out thing.
Probably dodged a bullet desu
>>29688211
Dude, the shirt si cool as fuck. would wear it EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Fight for your life and get your happiness back mate.
Good luck.
I ruined a friendship because we decided to date. After she broke up with me, we haven't really been friends since.
So i wonder,
Are the positives of a relationship really worth losing that person afterwards? You get to know the person deeper, and experiencing a great deal of attachment and happiness, but afterwards it can hurt a lot..
It's 3:57 in the morning, I know it 'cause I just passed by a payphone that told me so. It caught my attention because it rang about 3 or 4 times, I'm not sure. Anyway, I didn't answer. I was way too drunk and lost into Ulver's "Perdition City" to truly acknowledge what was going on. Prior to that particular insignificance, I had lost all senses of time & space.
I'm alone and the subway docks are empty, completely deserted by the city's natives. Closing my eyes for a second, I could've sworn I heard tumbleweeds rolling on the other side of the tracks.
Then I saw a girl, only a child to my poor tired eyes, running after what might have been fragments of my life. A porcelain doll, a permanent scar on the smooth face of depression.
The phone is ringing again, breaking through my illusions and leaving me to witness an impenetrable view of boredom itself. Could this call save me? Is it salvation on the other end of the line, or just a mere attempt to disturb my concentration?
It shines; I'm sore and inspired. Scribbled on the wall, you can easily read "Amy was here, 07-12-1980." Answering, I simply wrote back; Hope was here and quickly left, 02-10-2016.
There's the sound of dripping rain beating a frail window, enhancing the tick-tock noise in my head. Against the shivering glass, I cannot hear my own sobbing anymore. This way, maybe I can learn to forget and forgive myself.
The comforting perfume of urine mixed with mediocrity; it's a matter of appreciating what you truly know. It's a cynical point of view from a back alley to a crowded main street in broad daylight.
I could've been saved, you know.
A pretty girl who just passed by, smiled at me. No, she was actually smiling at somebody else she knew right aside me. I'm not good at being noticed.
There's not a chance in the world that I could possibly erase all the oily fingerprints I've left on everything I've done that I'm not too proud of.
>Be me
>Always been the alpha in relationships
>Met her
>She often insult me because of her mood
>She always apology after that but told her I hate this disrespect even if caused by her mood
>Still insults me
>She says she loves me as fuck but still insults me when she's sad or angry
>I hate her more than yesterday and less than tomorrow but feel this is the one
>ohshitimsofuckedup.jpg
>Called me "son of a bitch" 3 hours ago because I've been tired of this shit yesterday so I didn't answer her messages
>Don't know what to do, feeling that it's going nowhere
What a waste, she would be perfect
>>29684109
Yeah, and through text/phone. Pretty much the outsider now.
>tfw I'm a hopeless neet
>got a hand-me-down 6 year old desktop replacement laptop
>Intel Core i7 980x Extreme Edition (Desktop LGA1366 socket) 6 cores 12 threads
>6GB DDR3 RAM
>512GB Kingston SSD (SATAII not SATAIII)
>Nvidia GTX 480m (about equal to HD 6790/HD 5830 or GTX 550 Ti performance)
>1920x1200 resolution
It almost feels like a tease. It beats my desktop in every way except for SSD and RAM. That CPU is still totally relevant even 6 years later. The monitor is the largest res I've ever personally used.
I'd love to snatch the CPU out and build a computer around it but LGA1366 motherboards are usually $200 used and hit or miss for reliability (especially being 6 years old).
>>29696114
This is a feels thread, not a cringe thread.
orginablox
>>29682329
this one hit me too hard
Girl that I was supposed to go on a date with tomorrow night told me that she's not looking to get into a relationship with me because I'm moving away at the beginning of next year.
I want to say that I'm fine continuing to be friends, because deep down I know that that's the truth, but it still hurts to feel this kind of rejection.
>>29681168
Try sweden. If you are not getting raped by dindus its pretty nice. People there are very reserved and introverted not like Murica where everyone wants to be your best friend until they realize that you are no normie. Also beautiful grills to look at.
And high welfare if you decide to neet there too. If they dont take you in just burn your passport and say you are from syria. They have to take you :^)
We're in July, that's seven months. Before long it'll be eight. Then nine. Last month hurt the most, now it's sort of numbing but not really. So I guess I have to assume it'll take another couple of months before I'm completely numb to it? That seems about right.
I've accepted what can't be done, I've accepted that the only way forward is to get over it. I've accepted I only have myself to blame. I lost a lot of interest in things over the last seven months. I need to replace those interests because I can't seem to revive them.
I'm still bothered that it's taking me longer to get over this than it took them. But that's only my fault. Fact is that they did, and are more serious with their partner, planning to move in together and being hopeful about getting married in the future than they ever entertained the thought of any of that with me. Not that there was any reason they should. Would they have if I didn't let go and hesitate to fix it? Probably not. But I'll never know because I did let go.
But that isn't what I'm venting about right now. It's just that I'm not sure how long it's "meant" to take for me to no longer have any emotions regarding someone. For the day when I can think of them and not feel regret, self-hatred or sadness. To just not feel anything. It feels like everyone has different methods, but the idea of doing it through replacing someone with something doesn't appeal to me. I feel I should only replace someone with a hobby after I no longer care at all
>>29681415
> be me
> know grill from fellow friends
> blonde blue eyes very specific face (to my friends she was mayve a 6.5/10 I really liked it for me she was a solid 8.
> talk to her she is into a lot of my hobbies can talk about history and politics fir hours even initiates these talks still humble and always fun
> love on first sight basically the first woman I knew that I would marry and spend my life with
> invite her to "party" basically friends of me chilling at home
> she isnt comming says nothing
> writes me next day how sorry she is and how she feels bad about itand why she didnt came
>say its np she can just come to my bday get together the week after
> accepts
> gets there have thw time of my life with her laughing together having fun going for a walk seperatly from the others.
> ask her if I can kiss her
> ye sure
> little kiss on the mouth felt so good
> a week ago met her at a big traditional feast of my country
> tell her i love her
> she tells me that shes sorry she likes me but isnt in love with me but tells me that she never had a bf before and would just take one she really would spend her whole life with and that I will find another good woman
> fucking devastated drunk since then just want the pain to end
> cant even hate her because everything she said and did made sense. The kiss was the only thing but yeah it was a small kiss for my bday.
Its really hard to keep up with this when she is brutally honest.
You cant win in this game
TLDR: Loved girl she didnt love me was honest about it
Hurt more than every half assed excuse I got from other grills before
>>29692510
more like, try to date any kind of girls
>>29680582
I'm kind of content with myself as of the last 2 weeks but that feeling that I have no prospects for the future is crawling on my back, like when you've made a horrible mistake as a child and it constantly comes knocking on the back of your head.
>>29687058
well, it's the weekend, so I haven't done an awful lot.
You?
>>29687696
Drop that Bitch man. "We can be friends" is the most horrible thing there is. It hurts everytime everyday. Distance yourself from her dont meet her dont talk to her. Maybe in some months the pain will be gone. Now you just extend your suffering
jesus lol where to begin
>eternal cuck >eternal wageslave >eternal 2:1 at uni, effortless 80's in written work only to fail practicals >have had gf, non-virgin, dont even have any excuses at this stage >love a pal, not so much that il try anything but enough to mourn for the rel we will never have
seeing an old friend of mine recently really hit me hard. she is beautiful and smart, one of the few smart females i have known, but shes on anti-psych's and something is missing. i fear for her future, and i had high hopes for her. i love life and wouldnt leave it without a fight but i see myself in her. the worst is that i celebrate all these things, i feel myself becoming more and more jubilant about evil and misfortune every day, i cant help myself im addicted to the lulz
>Ausfag military
>Have put on weight
>Lost a lot of fitness
>No control over diet
>Drinking a fair bit
>Finances average at best
>Having trouble holding a conversation with women
>Returning to my robot roots before I joined up 5 years ago
3.5 years ago I was 22 years old, 80kg and mega fit and successful. Now I'm just about 26, and the above has happened.
I don't what what happened to turn it all around for the worse, but motivation isn't easy to get now.
I really wanna be with him.
I want him to love me back.
I want to hear him calling me his gf
We cant be together for a long time, i know that but i just wanna know what it feels like.
I really need him
It feels like i got a lump in my throat.
this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2F_ogZRDWV4
>>29680582
>tfw so many problems you already forgot them all
I hate humans
I hate how selfish people are
I hate money
I hate not being able to enjoy my life the way i want to live it
What's even the point of it? Fuck everything
>don't feel like I can relate to the few friends I still have, just feel like i'm constantly distancing myself from them, and they don't know me anymore
>failing college pretty hard
>wanting to change my degree, don't feel like i really want to end the one i'm currently in
>missed a lot of oportunities in college
>parents losing faith in me because of this failures
>can't be in a relationship with the only girl i was ever able to empathize and relate, because she lives far away, and we both don't want a distance relationship
>can only see her and be with her for a couple of weeks every 4~6 months or so
>don't feel any interest whatsoever in any other girls, despite them showing interrest
>feel kinda like i have to pursue a relationship with those other girls, because i can't see my relationship with the oneitis working in a near future
>be around a lot of people, and still feel all alone
i am currently in a long distance steam relationship with some guy but i'm sure it's going to fail soon just like my other 2 relationships. my bfs always seem end up blaming me for being manipulative and a complete bitch and i have no idea why, all i ever try to do is open up and get close to them
>>29698660
post your tiny dick faggot it's the only thing you're useful for
>>29683882
She would have rejected you anon. Or in a magical fantasy world there may have been a 1% chance of her actually saying yes in which case she would have just cheated on you.
>Be me, living in the 313, XXY, raised the wrong way, parents do not treat me as one of the two genders, its somewhere in between, leaning towards guy though which really doesn't feel comfortable to me
>Parents raised me like shit, neglected as all hell, and been indoctrinated into internet culture since I was 6, been looking at porn since I was 7, been looking at things that would disturb my own parents since I was 8 and its only been going downhill from there.
>Whenever I look at my parents or anyone I else I know all I can really remember were the bad times we've shared and what they did to me. I have no solid friends that haven't been gigantic pricks, and this isn't just coming from me, these people are universally known as pricks, why am I their friend for.
>It's because I can't let anything go at all and I always want to have a little sliver of hope that things will turn out okay.
>Parents are separated, but mom continues constantly sucking my dads money out as some sort of tactic to get me to live with her
>Shes a fucking nut, stereotypical insane Latina ex-wife, when she wasn't neglecting me she was going batshit at me, treated me on the same level of responsibility an adult with none of the rights. She didn't do this to my brother or sister.
>I'm usually not motivated at all to do anything, I have great potential apparently, but I really don't see the point anymore. My schedule of studying or working is just sudden spikes going to the moon, then all the way down, doing nothing, and repeating.
>Hillary Clinton is running for president and may actually win.
>I want to escape.
>I don't want to kill myself.
>>29698682
i'm a girl though..robot i swear
>bisexual
>have a weird fetish
>my dick has stopped working both with men and women
>because of this ED I haven't even tried to have a sexual relationship in almost 5 years
>I will never meet someone who shares my weird fetish who I actually desire sexually
>I will never be able to have a normal sex life without involving my fetish
>I try to stop using porn to hope my sexuality returns to normal but all it does is make my fetish urges more intense
I think I should go to therapy
>Tried to log back in to FreeCodeCamp, thinking I should try to do something...
>Suddenly feels super depressed and goes back to doing nothing
>Feels the guilt of not being working
The feelings of love and care turned to bitterness, dislike and hatred just over a short period of watching a personality completely alter into something disgusting. This is an improvement? No. Because it still means I care. The opposite of love is not hatred, it's indifference. That's what I want to achieve next. What will it take to purge all emotion relating to someone?
But no, I guess this is an improvement. I guess I've made a lot of progress in one way, without the actual result being truly positive. Growing to dislike someone because of their personality changing really isn't a positive. It really just proves the entire experience ends with no net gain, no benefit, no actual purpose for going through it. But I can work towards a different future now. It just means everything relating to this was ultimately a waste of time.
>TFW oneitis is on a vacation or at work and you dont want to bother her by trying to message her.
>TFW your oneitis hugged you once and you thought it meant something special and that its wasnt for an ulterior motive
My mom moved away from me to not be near me, it happened when my gf left me I got cheated on with older guy that was willing to give her more money, Tried to be normal but it didn't work out. Father is an alcoholic. I'm left alone with cat and 1 retard to speak with with autism and manner of calling me a normie. playing dota all time, started watching anime jojo bizz shit then gonna watch cowboy bebop. masturbating everyday to steven universe gems I tricked myself to find cartoon ladies attractive. never had dream of my waifu Pearl. Im bad at this.something happend to my eye and I look like someone punched me so hard, my dick has some zit on it. stoped lifting because mother left me without any food and rarely comes I dont want to waste money on food so I just eat bread with nothing. I wanna spend my money on dota skins. I get +25 mmr in dota and find life meaningful for few moments.
>pic is my avatar.
>>29698791
Let me guess, Cuban mother?
>>29680582
I miss being a furry. I got out of it eventually because I was sick of being 'a furry', I was tired of all the stigma and stuff that came with it. I thought I could ascend into being a normie by leaving it behind, but I miss wearing my fursuit (which now just collects dust in a box) and running around and taking pictures and just generally having fun.
The parties were awesome, too. We'd all get shitfaced and watch cartoons and fuck. They always just turned into these big drunken orgies with a mix of fursuits and people.
Now that I'm trying to get back into it, it's changed too much. Now everyone is younger and I'm the creepy old guy.
I feel unanchored and empty. All I've done today is smoke cigarettes, jerk off, and browse 4chan. This is my life. I want to die.
Found the family album in the living room and took a quick glance.
the feels were heavy, I felt more alone and depressed than usual.
it seems after 2004 I stopped smiling in pictures.
>>29684207
Holy fuck ;-;.
Pls anon,no more ;-;
I bought a laptop that I keep simply to use in bed, so that when I wake up in the morning I can turn it on and begin distracting myself from the uselessness, futility, and pain that I should be feeling every day.
>>29680582
I got a feel for you
My life sucks
my freezer broke down and i dont have any warranty anymore so i have to buy a new one for 300 dolleroes
and i didnt get laid this weekend
and my life sucks
i need to work next week but im depressed and i hate work, the hours are killing me and i always fuck everything up and am always late
life sucks
>>29681343
leave a day or so in between then
dont be pushy
she needs to like you too not you only here
>>29682598
this was my life untill my autismbux got stopped and i was forced to work
now im even more depressed
>>29680582
>always have panic when im trying to sleep
>feel like shit too
>go to sleep late
>wake up early
>feel like shit
>labeled as lazy by family
>feel like shit
>try to sleep
>feel like shit, panic about shit
>>29681625
Genuinely proud someone with so many shit in life went for a jog and enjoyed it man. Really. Also I implore you to jog more. Physical activity has always been a way for me to make myself feel a bit better/less shitty. I sometimes run through my city at night which really calms me down whatever is going on. Just run and don't stop running. A few blocks, some streets you never went into, whatever. You should try it sometime my man.
Also listen to Bones the rapper
I feel like the people I'm friends with think I'm a curiosity. I'm quite literally the only kv any of them know, I can spout random facts about irrelevant shit, and I collect things that most people would think odd. I don't think any of them take me seriously, and only keep me around for when they need someone to secretly laugh at or as the backup when nobody else is free to do things.
I want to work my ass off everyday to achieve something in life by starting business which will 100percent bring me back money and stability. But have a girlfriend who needs my attention everytime. Am too pussy to leave her because I want love and afraid of being alone cause I have huge anxiety.
>>29682512
THis one hit me too hard.
Me with guitar
>know two people who started playing later than me
>they're persuing musician career
I feel completely and utterly alone I have no one to talk about my problems, I've tried therapy it did not help. I recently discovered that I might have feelings for a friend whom I can never actually have. I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone and in pain with no one to talk too. People say that this is the only life that we get and we should cherish it, but if this is my life I can't find anything about it to cherish. I can't wait to be free of this nightmare.
>>29687696
Really man
Just let her go
I do understand that it may be hard but cmon
You don't deserve to suffer like this
Just drop her, it's not worth it
It really is not
If u stay any longer there may be fatal for you
Just drop her man
I believe in you
Believe in me that believes in you :)
>>29700470
Fuck off normie. You're not welcomed here.
>>29689177
Care to share the instructions
Cu I'm not from the USA, so I really don't know what you are talking about
>>29680874
also i can speak from experience that accutane does wonders for persistent acne. i had disgusting acne all over my back and chest for about 2 years in high school. after like 6mo of accutane, all thats left are the scars from the deeper ones. its been probably 5 years and the worst i get are little pimples every so often
>>29700531
I wish I could help anon. *Hugs*
>>29700952
Thank you that means a lot to me
Orignalo
>>29681099
Are you a ginger and have you had side burns before?
>mom won't stop bothering me
>mad that i don't feel like texting her back
>always acts like a fucking victim and expects me to make her feel better
>she is a vicarious parasite that won't allow me to be unhappy lest she herself is unhappy
I can;t deal with it anymore I want to blow my fucking brains out. This bitch needs to do something I am not her fucking emotional rag to dump everything on. She texts me saying she feels sick while at work and I have nothing to say back. Now I'm the villain.
I hate women so god damn much they are all the same just like my mother.
Why am I so fucked up
>tfw a manlet
Literally worthless
>>29695465
So.. you're gay?
Not that I'm hating or something,just asking
>>29695745
This is why I'm not friends with girls
And also I fall in love very quickly
>>29700594
not a fucking normie.
You guys wanna read what is probably one of the worst and most depressing stories ever on this board? It's the story of how I went from a normie/borderline chad to a depressed and unhealthy robot...
>>29701555
cont bitch
>>29701624
>yeah go on was not original
>>29696136
just leave her fellow robot
>>29701532
>gf
>not normie
Yeah, normie shoo shoo.
>tfw you suck at video games
>tfw you can't aim for shit
>tfw you never know which classes/gear/tactics to use because it's all so confusing
>tfw you rely heavily on guides to tell you how to play because you don't trust your own judgement
>tfw you desperately try not to let your team down but do so every time
>tfw you find yourself getting upset when teammates make mistakes despite you being worse than them
>tfw normalfags that only play for a few hours per week are better than you
>tfw you hate video games but have nothing else
Bonus:
>tfw no comfy little group of robots to play games with and talk on voice chat about stuff
We'd play comfy games like Minecraft and co-op FPSs.Unfortunately, most people I've met on /r9k/ that wanted to play games were normalfags/underageb&/even more retarded than me.
>>29698765
>She would have rejected you anon. Or in a magical fantasy world there may have been a 1% chance of her actually saying yes in which case she would have just cheated on you.
you're fucking lying
YOU DON"T FUCKING NO MAN...
...;-;
why would you say this?
>>29698799
Prove it fagbot
>>29698799
>i'm a girl though..
>robot i swear
time stamp or gtfo
in the general scheme of things it should matter but...
I'm very boredand dying on the inside everyday
>>29698917
What kind of fetish anon?
>>29680582
>be me
>girl G1 dumped me
>girl G2 friendzoned me
>girl G3 wanted an "open relationship", so I friendzoned her
>girl G4 would date me but only if I get a job and move in her town (600 miles far away)
>so I'm still a single NEET
>>29701674
you can have a girlfriend and still be a robot you know?
I have a crippling anxiety and depression you moron
And have no friends at all
>20
>still live with parents
>invite 2 friends over to drink while parents leave for vacation
>nervous the whole time that my parents would find out
>friend invites his friend, that guy brings his own friend
>now 5 people including me
>those extra two people make my friend completely change, tries to act cool
>just give me shit all night
>when its just us 3 we have tons of fun
>one of them reveals i'm the pity friend
so where do I buy the helium? those were the only two people I know
I kind of suspected for a while that I'm the pity friend, but every time I try to cut contact with them I end up giving in because I forgot how to make friends.
I have this shitty neurological condition that affects the way I speak called spasmodic dysphonia. I have the rarer of the two forms called abductor spasmodic dysphonia.
I used to be able to talk fairly normally without any serious issues but then it all went to shit about 3 months ago. Now I can barely talk, my voice is incredibly weak, and I can't hold a conversation with anyone.
I'm quitting my job after 6 months because I can't do a good job with such a shitty voice and the stress of having to work like this just became too much.
I got this treatment recently that should help my voice, but it's not. It's actually made my voice sound weaker. I'm honestly thinking about just killing myself. I can't hold a job and I can't have any relationships if I can't speak.
Shit sucks and there is no cure.
>>29701624
okay it's gonna be a long one guys..
>lived with married parents everything was normal for quite a while
>they got divorced when I was nine
>mainly lived with mom for a while and saw my father on the weekends
>everything was okay just a happy lil boy playing vidya enjoying life
>8th grade comes and end up with a's, b's, c's and one d because goofed off
>mum freaks out and was really stressed with work at the time
>worked 12 hour shifts in the middle of the night at super busy hospital
>basically was raised by grandmother and father around this period
>lived in new jersey my whole life but mom is annoyed about my grades
>sends me to live with my dad who just moved to florida because apparently I was being a "wise ass" and "too much to handle"
>had friends and was normal, happy, doing great, etc.
>immediately hated it because too hot and from jersey so hate everything
>first two years of high school was not so bad but I didn't really have friends
>never did much but sit around playing games and occasionally go out with dad
>junior year rolls around and I start making some friends everything getting better
>had an established group of people I would talk to in school and hang out with on the weekends and stuff
>senior year begins and I now have my drivers license and got hyped to explore
>father let's me drive one of his cars as it's my own because he's the damn man
>enjoying life but slacked off in school because too busy going out with friends and having a fucking blast in general
>january comes with the beginning of the second semester and get my braces removed
>overbite and shitty teeth fixed revealing the good chin and nice jawline I had all this time but never even knew existed
>start feeling more confident about myself and have some female attention
>friend suggests I try and talk to this girl we know because "im her type"
>say no way man she's like an 8.5/10 with massive cow tits she won't approve
continue? bad part is coming where life is ruined
>>29701255
Have you ever thought that maybe she is just trying to have some sort of connection with her only son?
>>29702071
fuck, man. just looked up a video of what it sounds like. that's rough.
assuming you don't look like ass, I think you still have a shot at a relationship. Just have to find the right girl. As for a job, you might be able to find a work-from-home one or maybe one where you just don't have to talk.
whatever you end up doing, good luck to you brother.
>>29702124
cont not so interesting but ok
>>29702154
i have a brother. she is emotionally dependent on me
it's my fault huh?
>meet girl from local autism support group
>hang out couple times
>she's nice, things progress nicely
>first girl to ever give me attention (im 21)
>start some kind of relationship
>let her take my virginity
>come home find my only gf hysterical
>tells me to take this pill because she somehow got chlamydia
>find out she LITERALLY WORKS AS A WHORE
>livid, trust in women forever annihilated
>go home, shitpost on /r9k/
>that feel when i literally got cheated from my virginity by an autistic whore
why haven't i killed myself yet
I am starting to feel bad about being cishet. I know I should be happy about being in such a privileged group, but it feels like I'm the only person I know who is, and I worry that people will dislike me if they find out. It really is wrong, but a small part of me wishes I weren't.
>>29701255
anon, I've been where you are and I've seen both sides. please try to make an effort to connect with your mother. It's really hard to understand how it feels to her, but just realize she doesn't know what you know. She may think that you're on the verge of suicide or something, or maybe she realized that she doesn't know her own son.
put some time into hanging out with her, and in time you will both be better off.
one time, my mother left papers on her desk detailing how to connect with a depressed son. at first I was angry, I'm not sure why exactly. but then it clicked, she's just as human as the rest of us. she didn't know what to do. she took time out of her day to reach out to me because she was worried.
just try to realize that she's worried about you and she's trying to make you better in the only way she knows how. playing the victim is shitty, but I'm willing to guess that she's trying to make you snap out of it.
just depression, senpai a lam
>2010 was 6 & a half years ago
>>29702397
TIME FLIES WHEN YOU WASTE IT
>>29680582
I just don't care about life
I wish I could drain my accounts, take a bus up to Montreal, get a nice hotel, and drown myself in my vices. Everything feels empty and meaningless, I crave the indulgence of my greatest desires.
But I'm not callous enough to do it knowing how my family would react. I'm cursed with enough empathy to make me disgusted with the world, too weak to do anything about it, and unwilling to exit. It's an exhausting bind to be in.
I'm just so fucking tired.
I'm lonely my only friends ignore me and never talk to me
>raised poor, hungry cold a majority of my child hood all because of divorce
>finally became rich and moved to rich neighborhood
>still get nightmares about it every day
>have friends but don't talk to them, essentially I'm only the friend who's there and everyone knows but wouldn't call up
>want gf
>scared because she might be my wife, have kids and leave us and become poor as well
>stuck with this mentality forever
What do
>>29680612
I'll cuddle u anon :)
It's my birthday today and not even my closest friends said anything to me and when I did address it they got pissed at me saying that people are busy and whatnot. Like I understand that completely, but is it really that hard for you to drop a message especially when you're a fucking neet? The only people who gave a shit were some internet friends which at least I have them.
>>29702474
Thanks anon, I'd cuddle me too.
>>29702476
Happy Birthday anon :), have a nice day.
oregano
I'm ugly. People dislike me as soon as they see me for some reason. I'm only 5'10. My dick is small.
>>29702476
Happy birthday, Anon
probably doesn't mean much coming from me though
>>29702515
Do you smell good ?
The qt3.14 who loves me and thinks I'm perfect is currently on another continent and I'm afraid that when we meet in person she'll discover I'm actually nowhere near perfect and won't like me any more.
>>29702476
Happy birthday anon, I know how you feel, noone says happy birthday to me too, if you are lucky like I am you would eventually stop giving a fuck and you will even forget when your birthday is
>>29702544
I smell like your average tomboy who hasn't showered in 3 days
I've been paranoid lately. I spent my day thus far throwing away things in my room and closing old emails and accounts I haven't used in years, unsubscribing from everything, as well as blocking a number of people. It's very difficult to erase your identity. I don't think I can get rid of everything.
>>29702570
Be my tomboy gf I bet u r a qt
Can I have something to contact u on anon uwu
>>29680582
I'm so very lonely. I don't have any good friends and those other couple of people I call friends rarely want to hang out with me. It hurts so much
>>29702642
No, I'm married.
Me on the right, my Princess Makoto on the left.
>be me
>18 yr old borderline drug-user
>fall in love with guy
>fucks around with him for about two weeks
>realizes that i am gonna hurt him at some point
>for once thinks about other peoples feelings
>calls it off
>turns into apathetic bitch once again in 0.3 sec and tells him that i never cared
>he tells me that i should grow up because i am a selfish little girl, that's used to getting it her way by fucking up others feelings and using them
>i still don't care
>says he's pathetic and should have known better
>live life for the next week not caring and """happy"""
>realizes that i am a shit and miss him
>talks to him and says im sorry
>which is pretty darn serious, because i usually will never swallow my pride and say i something wrong
>starts over again
>proceeds another month
>we talk about what it's going to be - are we going to make it or break it
(((we were on sort of a boarding school?? for adults who don't know what they're gonna do with their lives idk how to explain)))
>says i care about him and i know he cares about me, and because of that we should end it, because it isn't gonna work
>now been a week since last saw him
>realize that i have legit feelings
>realize i will probs never see him again
>wrote 9 pages in his memory book((boarding school thing)))
>ended it by telling him that i love him
>>>>>>>>>>i cant deal
>>29702202
>end up dating her for a month
>khv til that point so on cloud nine
>brag to friends about her sucking my dick and stuff because super excited
>one friend hears and tells her because whiteknight beta numale feminist shit
>dumps me over text while on spring break in nj visiting family and everything
>tells everybody I have a small dick when it's really just average length but significantly lacking girth
>absolutely crushed because I was totally obsessed with her
>embarrassed that whole school knows
>end up going to some college I didn't really want to because friend is going
>started smoking weed round this time, friend introduced me to DXM and shit
>ignored classes was addicted to dxm and smoking everyday to escape reality
>second semester comes I gained 40 pounds since graduating high school
>depressed and lonely with my one or two friends that never invited me to shit
>start going to gym and sober up going to classes one friend pressures me to smoke after a month and cycle continues
>spring break rolls around in hometown trip DXM with friend then smoke weed but had massive panic attack after I lost my balance and sprained ankle/leg
>dehydrated already and smoked two blunts so bp and pulse thru the roof
>walked back on leg because lolnopain
>back to school and notice my entire right side is weak and kinda numb
>hppd gets even worse and now have double vision and terrible visual snow three months later, can't see in the dark
>possibly had a mini stroke or something maybe some brain damage
>mom refuses to take me to neurologist so I can get some help for myself finally
>crippling tinnitus and constant headaches + pressure in my head so can't even enjoy music or anything now
drugs and lack of self control ruined my life robots don't touch them if ur happy please take my advice stay safe guys
>>29702673
Cute couple
I'd be better
>>29702749
>better than Makoto
kys
>>29702673
Stop being a avatarfag already Adam
>>29702840
>Stop being a avatarfag already Adam
Literally who.
>girl I'm in love with will never love me
>father molested me, parents hate me
>every single person I am related to is embarrassed of me
>was completely ignored during high school, people only pretended to be friends with me because my family had money and they could learn more about me to make fun of later
>current friends are only my friends because I buy them drugs
>only ever feel happy when I'm high
>fat
>ugly
>absolutely no way anyone would ever actually want to be friends with me because I have no personality to speak of
>>29702861
>father molested me, parents hate me
Well, clearly not your dad.
>>29702857
Adam is a self loathing closeted egdelord fag who hangs out on this board. He's pretty much obsessed with Makoto.
>>29690094
lol u wot
>>29703006
Haven't seen anyone else post Makoto and I've been here a long time, he must not know Makoto is mine, poor guy, he should kill himself
>>29690894
i feel you
i hope you can find some contentment
lord knows i havent at age 28
>>29697279
>>29700573
Lol it's weird. She tells me Im very attractive and sleeps with me but doesn't want to date me ???
I was with this guy for 3 years. He was a complete narcissist, he was manipulative, but he was also really funny, intelligent, we had the same hobbies and well, I had my reasons to be with him. Then I finally realised that it's more of a relationshit, so I broke up with him. It wasn't too messy. We have the same social circle so we were civil about it and we keep seeing each other on different ocassions. That was about 1,5 years ago.
I started being with someone else, I'm with him up to this day. I'm really happy.
My ex found someone too. I felt really bad seeing them together, not because I wanted him back, I didn't. I just felt he treated her much better than he treated me and it hurt. He did things for her that he wouldn't do for me. Felt bad. I felt like he didn't deserve to be so happy with her, considering how much he hurt me.
But then I got more chill with it. Shrugged it off, or so I thought.
I think they broke up few days ago. And I feel happy about it. And I feel like a horrible person for being happy about it.
I'm not even sure, because I only have social media to confirm that and that he didn't come to the party with her, and when I asked he said that "things are complicated right now".
I feel like he got what he deserved. For telling me that "I couldn't be loved" and making me think I was a worthless piece of shit who did not deserve love.
At the same time I feel sorry for him, because I still kinda like him as a friend.
>finally found the perfect qt
>she's cute, big tits, and super shy
>for some reason she actually falls for me
>several nights just laying in bed cuddling
>amazing sex>tfw wake up to the crushing loneliness of an empty bed in an empty house
>Realise I prefer aesthetically pleasing penises to floppy slabs of roast beef.
>Dad doesn't like the non-heteros.
>Try to compensate by working really hard.
>>Become hyper-intelligent science student, top of whole department, offer for hardest course in best university in the country, etc.
>Dad tells me he doesn't care about that; if I want to make him happy, I just need a wife and family.
>Now must live life knowing I'll never meet my dad's expectations, no matter what I do. I am inevitably going to be a failure worth disowning in his eyes.
>O-ok...
>Look at my age.
>>Holyshit I'm 18!
>Still single khv.
>8-9/10 and have girls chasing me, but have to keep turning them down and breaking their hearts.
>>Emotional turmoil +1.
>Can't come out and easily attain bf, or the mudslime brigade of immigrantistan will inject me with AIDS, superglue a knife dildo up my butt, convince my parents to disown me, and stone me to death.
>Realise that, in a couple of years, all of my options will be:
>>Used goods.
>>Used goods with AIDS.
>>People too old/young for it to be decent.
>>Femfags, 2/10 art students.
>Sudden realisation that I will be alone forever if I don't attain bf immediately.
>Pretty much given up all hopes on pursuing qt 2ln(i)/i, tall, japanese, otaku crush, since (british) college ended and I stopped seeing him irl.
>Will not be allowed to do university course if I get HIV, and I can only handle full monogamy, so can't just hook-up.
>No idea what to do and can't turn to anyone for help.
Is it time for chemical castration to remove all romantic and sexual desire from my limbic system?
I'm getting tired of being alive
Everything is so utterly shit
I'm tired of waking up, looking forward to another day of either work or doing absolutely fuck all
My little sister has had cancer twice in the last 7 years which has REALLY fucked me up, she's still in the recovery phase and can't walk without crutches. My dad is on antidepressants, which I only found out because I accidentally found his pills. He's been keeping it from us. I'm just tired of everything getting increasingly worse while everybody around me seems to succeed. I failed college because I've been so depressed as of late that I stopped going to class. I was studying music, the only thing I'm even remotely good at and I fucked it. I'm tired of being total shit at everything I even try.
I'm tired of being me.
I have one more year of "uni" before I need to fess up and admit to my parents I've been leeching off them and hiding in my apartment the past 2 years.
I'm fucking terrified
>>29703470
No need for the spoiler, I already figured the punchline after reading the 2nd line.
>>29703679
Do something horrible enough for them to kick you out, but not ask about college anymore.
>>29703171
I've recently cut off from my life a girl who rejected me and toyed with me. Still a 28yo KV. They are right. You just can't win in this situation, whatever decision you take. I chose to cut off ties. It's hard on the short term but you're better off in the long run.
> Girl I met a few years ago in another city texts me
> Tells me her boyfriend dropped her, and that I could be "interested in knowing it ;-)"
> Tells me she would like to see me, invites me over to her place, she seems very excited to see me
> Spend 150$ on a 4 hours long travel
> Both of us are pretty excited, it's been one year since we haven't seen each other
> As soon as we meet, I try to get closer
> She stays distant, yet friendly
> End up telling her how I feel about her at her place at night
> "I don't feel the same way about you anon... Sorry, I hope you're not sad or anything."
> "Its'... Ok... I'll be fine."
> Go to bed while she falls asleep in front of her TV
> Next morning, feeling like shit and wondering what's the best course of action
> Pack my stuff and tell her I won't see her ever again because I don't want to be "just friends" with her
> Say farewell and leave
> Feel like a fucking idiot for spending 200$ and 8 hours of travel for literally nothing but a heartbreak
I guess if I stayed it would have been worse. Still hurts though. Back to square one. Back right here.
>>29680708
http://www.asiandate.com/?gclid=Cj0KEQjw7-K7BRCkkIH3t_WwoskBEiQAD8oY3kPmGajfY-b1eby8ubYVoksUTfmdHZbXCDTsxQ8SgC0aAvl68P8HAQ
Here ya go.
>>29702246
I wasn't saying it's your fault or anything, I don't know your situation. I was just commenting that based off of what I read.
>>29702949
kek, a super original one
David Higgs is troubling me. Remember him.
>>29702445
Do it anon you only have one life,do what you want as long as you dont harm anyone.
>>29703786
is it? let me know, I don't know, I'm in the same situation. well, it cost me 3 months instead of 200$, because Im not particularly smart. I'd gladly take the trade.
>used to spend 24/7 on PC, playing vidya, making spam animations etc.
>had a lot of online friends I could talk to whenever I needed to
>start making flash games, enjoying every second of it
>making fun of niggers with niggers, good times
>one day, coming home from school, stop to say hi to a friend, meet some people
>start hanging out with them more and more
>completely stop playing vidya, find it boring
>slowly stop making animations and games
>start drinking and smoking weed with these new friends almost every day
>get a gf, the one i've been crushing on for years
>everything is great
>have a lot of breakups-makeups with her
>a little more than a year ago, walking home drunk at like 2am
>get my ass kicked by some dudes for no reason, they didn't even mug me
>wake up, feel like shit
>get on facebook, see a lot of messages from gf
>selfies n "i love you" shit
>about to reply to those, see she's typing something
>she breaks up with me with that message
>fucking devastated, worst day of my life
>for the next month I have been drinking and smoking like a madman
>decide to quit drinking, continue smoking daily
>a year later, not a single day has passed without getting high
>slowly stop going out with friends
>want to get back into vidya, have no one to play with anymore
>want to get back into making vidya, flash died, too demotivated to learn anything new
>lost all e-friends because I thought irl friends are better
>lost all irl friends because I wanted to catch up with e-friends
Now I just sit on my chair, scrolling the webz, not doing anything.
Reality hits me hard whenever I'm not stoned, forces me to get stoned again.
Can't even afford weed anymore, feel like shit 24/7 but don't want to kill myself mainly because of my parents.
who else /failednormie/ here
>>29684027
God damn, I am angry.
Burn the house down while they're sleeping-angry >:(
>>29702518
>>29702538
>>29702564
Thanks anons, it means the world to me. Maybe next year things won't be so rough.
>>29680582
I am no really pathetic,I just can't fit in.
I don't like normalfags. They don't like me
I can't talk to normalfags. They can't hold a conversation with me
I just want to meet someone similiar to me. I am pretty sure there are people like me. I just don't know where
>>29680582
Started talking to this girl a year younger than me, I'm 18 in hs
With my friend in a photography class and I see her and think she's pretty but don't say anything to her (at this point neither of us know each other)
Her friend stole her phone and messaged me since we had mutual friends, it was really weird I talked to her then eventually she shut me down then I kept talking to her friend who stole her.phone and eventually she started talking to me again over fb
She is really pretty, I like her a lot and I have good game, but we have never spoken face to face, school's out and she's religious. Fml. What do?
I'm panicking because I never thought I'd be the failure NEET, I had my shit together, I actually had a job, a car, a gf. Then suddenly now I'm going back to HS for a year so I can then go to college for engineering. I'm 25.
I get anxious about events that are months away. Like my Brothers wedding in August. I don't think I can go and sit through it all. Seeing him obtain happiness. Seeing him walk down the aisle with a beautiful girl on his arm.
Getting asked, "when are you going to get married, you're already 20, you should be concerning yourself with that". "Oh, you've never even held hands with a girl before? Well it's probably a good thing you're brother managed to get married, at least he can give your parents some grandkids."
I don't even think I can make it through the Bachelor party. Being subjugated to hanging out with his old high school/college friends. At least I can get drunk there, but the problem is once I start drinking I won't stop until I'm on the verge of passing out. I'll probably wind up doing some fucked up shit. I have a serious alcohol problem and I'm only 20, fuck me man. I can't handle this.
>>29704045
I have a few stories like this one. I used to wait even longer before deciding to cut ties or agree to "stay friends". Never worth it. Never leads to anything meaningful.
I feel like once a girl has decided your status (either a friend or boyfriend material) there is no return. If she knows you secretly love her but she isn't really into you, she might toy with you to see how much shit you can take. How much of your resources (affection, time, money...) you agree to spend on her, all the while keeping you inside the "friendzone". Now I just cut off ties directly when they do this shit. I prefer getting back to my robothood than being an "emotional tampon".
>don't watch anime or read manga, but like hentai
>online friends egg me on to read this manga, decide why not
>notice a female character looks like the girl in some doujins I like
>they're not vanilla doujins
>check, it is the same girl
>can't fap to those anymore since I now have an emotional connection to the girl
Remembering the doujins makes me feel sorry for the girl, and I deleted them since I'll never have an un-guilty fap to them ever again
>>29704508
alright, thanks for the adv.
>>29704590
who was the girl anon?
>>29699821
Close, Brazilian, from the Federal District.
am I depressed?
Sometimes I wonder what other people's life would be if I never existed.
I wonder how people would react if I died
Why don't I love anyone romantically?
Has anyone ever had feelings for me?
Why am i so alone?
Why do I eat so much?
Why am i so worthless?
Why are games getting less enjoyable for me?
Why?
>>29704941Erina from Food Fight Anime
>>29680582
I don't know if I'm capable of feeling "love". can anybody explain what love feels like? What does it mean when a girl says she loves you? I don't want to be in a relationship if I can't understand how shes feeling, I also don't want to change whatever she "loves" about me? Is it even something that can be explained? Try your best to explain love to me if you can, I'm just having a difficult time grasping how this emotion feels.
>>29705308
All i got from "love" was a nice feeling for 10 seconds then i was back to normal. That's the closest i got to "love".
>>29680582
>Meet nice boy
>homo_intensifies.png
>Literally the kindest person in the world, cute, attractive voice, everything i could want
>get butterflies in my stomach when he messages me
>Not sure if he even knows I'm into guys, let alone him
>Have no idea how normal relationships work, let alone gay ones with cute boys
>Don't know how to tell him how i feel.
>This is all over skype
>>29705410
>tfw so tired of being lonely considering going gay to ease the pain and virginity
>>29705395
what made you feel it? Can you describe it in more detail?
There is this great single girl I work and she is always vibrant and chummy with me. Now I learn she is going to Italy for the fall semester and by the time I realized that I really like her she leaves in a month. I could just go for it but I doubt shes a girl that would do a one month fling.
>>29705451
My gf told me f2f that she cared about me and shit and wanted to help me, she actually felt my pain and anxiety, gave me a good feeling, like some sort of compassion towards her. It is really hard to explain, but you need to try it and you shall understand
>be cyborg
>at small normie party
>plenty of alcohol and weed/oil
>I'm a small guy (3u) and I'm pounding down beers to get drunk
>get to the end of the night and I'm among the last ones left conscious
>been going harder than anyone longer somehow
>me and Asian chick smoking outside looking at the stars together under blanket
>"I'm cold anon can we go inside?"
>say yeah and she stands up and grabs my hand to help me (I fall a ton when drunk)
>hands are so small and soft
>feel chest melt and feels hit me
>never touched a girl before (19 kissless virgin)
>she crashes on a bed with three people on it and I lay down on the floor with the others
>we hold hands drunkenly for a bit
>thumb wrestle because that's what I do when I'm drunk
>wish the moment never ended because it was the most intimate and beautiful moment I've ever had even though I was plastered as fuck
who else /kill me/ here?
I want someone to love and care for me, I recently broke up with my partner and ever since then I've been depressed just doing work and baking shit to cope with it. I legit thought I was going to marry this person. I'm such an idiot but please God give me someone I can call mine forever
>>29686938
damn man, i guess the only thing i can suggest is getting your mind off of it.
>>29690908
Saved your cat.
What's his name?
In a relationship but I am a fucking insecure fuck. I know I'm attractive though but that makes me feel like I'm not entitled to feel as unloved as I am in this fucking relationship.
She has a hard time showing emotions and I show a fuckton too many because I feel like we should express our feelings.
Haven't had sex since april when she got off the pill (even though I've tried initiating, denied every time and I FUCKING KNOW that she is allowed to say no. It just eats my already dead confidence after a while).
Thinking about getting a hooker as I won't see my gf for another 3 months probably. Or maybe an asian massage parlor handjob or some shit fuck.
>>29704136
Damn, I don't have a similar situation but I can kinda relate.
>spend my afternoons playing with online friends
>do this for years
>get super depressed all of a sudden
>no motivation for anything
>don't play vidya because i can't bring myself to do it
>watch youtube and stream sites all day
>constant thoughts of just ending it all as I'm obviously a waste of human life
>smoke weed daily for years too
>used to be fun when i'd play online
>now i just smoke and do nothing
>the high anxiety gets worse each day
>can't get to sleep without weed
>thoughts of my family seeing my dead body excite me
>at the same time the idea of dying is pretty damn scary
It's like I'm in cognitive dissonance limbo here. I want to kill myself, but I don't want to die. I want to play vidya, but I don't actually do it. I want to slow down on my weed intake, but if I do that I have insomnia.
Fuckin life man.
>heavy rain with a tornado warning
>normies still doing fireworks
those pops better be the sound of dead niggers hitting the ground.
I will never be a well known figure in an Underground organization. Or someone who impacts people in a meaningful way.
That I'm not fated to be someone special or extraordinary.
That I will never experience something from outside of this world or supernatural.
I will never be the tragic main character, but instead one pawn of the villain.
>>29705004
Are you me? Cause these are thoughts I have all the time. Especially the gaming part. Games just aren't enjoyable anymore to me and I don't know why. I hate it. The one thing in life (other than weed) that makes me happy and it's taken away from me through some bullshit.
>>29707581
Fuck off to facebook, normalfag.
>wake up
>still alive
it never ends and I am to much of a pussy
>>29707815
Fuck off faggot, what makes your suffering special. Piece of shit, I know you're broken too so don't pretend like you're in this thread to mock others. It's okay, you're not worthless even though you might feel like it.
You'll get by you too.
>>29708058
>I haven't had sex in months!! ;_:
>>>/facebook/
>Girlfriend breaks my heart
>Then shortly after kills herself
>Lost 80$ at the casino
>No one to talk to
>Outback fucks up my order so much that I'm literally eating almost a whole fried onion
>All these fireworks going off
>Wished all my life to have a qt to look at these with and for once not be disappointed
>Now have to sit here alone, with a girl who killed herself over me and feel like shit because nothing wants to go my way this week.
Haha, someone please end my life, if I didn't believe in Christianity I would have done this a few days ago but I have a fear of going to hell.
I had a cute Korean gf who was kinda crazy and controlling in the first place but I fucked up by cheating and validating her originally baseless craziness which probably would've gotten better over time. Thankfully she's better now, but I had to break up with her becuase being in a relationship with me was causing her anorexia to come back and I was starting to resent her for being so uncompromising on our issues. We broke up a little more than a month ago and at first we were friendly to each other but after she saw that I was on tinder again she started to completely despise me. I was only on there to distract myself from the feelings I still had for her. I don't us to get back together but I do want a tiny little place in her heart. I wrote her a 9 page long letter to her know just how much I care about her but it didn't change a thing. I know I fucked up really badly by cheating on her (snapchat sexting stuff not actually fucking anyone) but I still want at least some credit for all of the times I walked to her apartment on cold winter nights just to keep her company and all of the good times we had. I didn't break up with her becuase I didn't love her anymore, I broke up with her becuase I knew I was hurting her.
>get a gf
>hang out a couple of times
>dont even feel horny around her
>dick not getting hard or anything
>randomly become fully ehsrekt and have to jack it when shes not there
>am now gfless
>>29708787
You're a cunt, and an unfaithful faggot. She deserves better than you and her hatred in you is completely validated. The fact you brought back her anorexia was awful, and the fact you destroyed her already fragile mental health by being a degenerate fuckwit is also awful.
You deserve no credit for what you have done by being there in the shitty times because you destroyed the relationship in the first place. You were wrong in all of this, time to admit and come to terms with all of this instead of trying to say "W-Well I'm not all that much of a bad guy! I did all these good things too!"
Cheating is inexcusable.
>>29708355
Do you think this is a competition of who has the most pathetic life? Pain is subjective and relative. The fact that you dismiss that makes you incredibly dense. Also the fact that you seem to think that there is some form of eternal bliss in having sex.
When you finally lose you virginity you'll see that it was not such a big fucking deal and the emotions of relationships is what will bring you down. You'll get by anon.
>tfw don't want a gf but want to fulfill the biological urge of fucking and impregnating a young attractive woman (or at least fucking)
>>29680582
Going to kill myself before december
Don't care about attention, quite sure in my decision.
Won't you come join us?
My Grandpa is so concerned about dying before he gets to use medicine from the future, like stem cells and what not, and here I am wanting to completely destroy my body and my sense of self and perceptions permanently. I feel like I should be amazingly grateful I'm not in his position and yet why would I want to exist in a place where such a situation comes about in the first place.
I have to make sure that, when I decide to kill myself, I do it correctly.
>"like" a girl on OKCupid, this girl is fucking perfect (or as close as I could conceive anyone reasonable getting)
>day later she likes me back
This has never happened before, I'm a pretty boring and aesthetically unimpressive person
What the fuck do I even do, I was expecting her to just ignore me
>>29708787
Yo anon you seem troubled. It's okay to do mistakes. Sure you might feel responsible for hurting her, and that is justifiable. It's okay to feel bad about it and it's understandable that you feel like you have betrayed her. Maybe try to move on and don't contact her until it has all cooled down. She might feel better and you might have a shot at feeling better.
I've sexted some girl too on snapchat and maybe I'm numb but I don't think about it anymore and I would never mention it to my girlfriend because it might bring more negativity than positivity. I don't know if I see it as cheating, I barely know what I consider cheating.
Actually I'd feel bad knowing that she did something like that. But fuck, I have a high libido and she doesn't, what the fuck am I supposed to do? I love her but sometimes that's not enough.
Dont let >>29708896 get to you. You bringing back her anorexia was indirectly your fault but you probably didn't know that was the price for the mistake before you did it. Life is full of gray-zones so don't get caught up, just keep on walking. Avoid hurting others if you can though, I guess that's the lesson. Don't let your mistakes define you.
>>29688211
I'm also a graphic design student with divorced parents
Something died deep inside me while reading this. I really really wish you the best anon
Ps. That shirt is totally /fa/, i would wear the shit out of it
>>29709053
Jerk off to porn you fucking degenerate, don't get intimate with fucking strangers while you are taken. When you date someone you take a vow to be intimate with only that person unless otherwise stated with the other partner.
If you know for a fucking fact it would hurt you if your girlfriend to do it, why in the high holy fuck would it be okay for you to do it? Because your dick gets hard often and you have zero fucking discipline? Don't try to validate cheating while also stating you are a cheater as well. Both of you are literal scum of the earth what you both do isn't a "mistake". A mistake is something that is uncontrollable and an unfortunate happening, like dropping a dish, or spilling milk. Snapping your dick to a bunch of whores while dating someone isn't a mistake, you just don't go "Oh oops, there's my dick pic that I magically took while erect and sent it to this girl who said they wanted to see my dick."
Only degenerates call that shit a "mistake" because they can't handle the weight of their own actions and all they can do is try to downsize their intentional act of betrayal so they can live day by day while being a piece of living human garbage.
So just like that other cheating cunt, go fuck yourself, what you did as wrong and if you can't handle commitment you don't deserve the perks of a relationship, grow a set or go sleep around town.
to be honest, the bbc shitposting has become gratifying to me lately
My dick's pretty big, and though I'm not really into guys, this meme has made me feel wanted because I know for sure that some of you legit lust after bbc. I never would have guessed this to be true but then I went to college and every conversation in my vicinity about dicks becomes about me, and the guys steer it that way. I discourage it but I ninja blush every time.
>get invited to celebrate an acquaintance's birthday
>makes an offhand comment about me being ugly
>next day go out with another acquaintance
>also makes an offhand remark about me being ugly
I mean I know I'm not the most photogenic person and I have acne scars in my face but I'd prefer to delude myself in believing that I'm not that ugly.
At this point I feel I'm only invited to make them feel better about themselves.
>>29709455
>At this point I feel I'm only invited to make them feel better about themselves.
sometimes that's how it works. i don't spend time with anyone who does stuff like that to me. i also don't spend time with anyone at all anymore, so pick your poison i guess.
>>29709053
Don't worry I can tell that other poster has a pretty simplistic way of viewing things. thank you for writing such kind words. I know I can't blame everything that went wrong in our relationship on me but sometimes I can't help but try to carry all of the guilt. She was pretty shitty to me too in a lot of ways. She would always find a way to start an argument whenever I was hanging out with my friends which subconsciously led me to avoiding hanging out with my friends. She made me completely remove one of my few good friends at college from my life just becuase i vented to her about some of the hurtful things my girlfriend said to me and wouldn't even apologize for. she told me she had a crush on my best friend becuase he would talk her through our issues. She pressured me into spending 250 bucks on a hotel room for our fucking 6 month and wouldn't even let me change the date so I could see my favorite absolute favorite band who ive had to miss seeing 2 times in a row already. That last part is a little petty lol but fuck it was such an easily fixable issue.
I know I should be extremely thankful for her even giving me a chance after I cheated but she really did nothing to make it work for both of us. It felt like she was just using what happened to gain power over me whenever we were trying to work through an issue and she never would always take back her attempts to compromise.
>>29709287
I think you're confusing the word mistake with the word accident. It was a mistake and it was the biggest mistake I've ever made.
>go to mental hospital
>see girl
>girl likes me
>i think she want's to kill me because im a paranoid fuck
>refuse to talk to her, she tries
>day later she kills herself
welcome to my life
>>29708737
There is no hell but here on earth. You have nothing to fear. All observational evidence points to nothing happening after we die besides decomposition.
>>29709717
Good job! You killed the roastie whore
How dare she like you
>>29703679
Kek
You're screwed anon
You could probably get 1 year of college in
>>29686938
>have large circle of friends
>bants till the sun comes up
>they all get gf's cept me
>no more bro time, literally maybe three times a YEAR
>older guys at work say that theyll want to start hanging out again to get away from the wives
that didnt help, older coworkers
>>29709544
I actually enjoy my solitude and I've become loath to go out with them as of late. I'll probably just lessen my time with them until they forget me.
I can't stop thinking about the people who I liked in high school despite the fact it's been 6 years since I last saw them and based on their Facebook profiles I don't find them that attractive anymore.
Keep getting weird thoughts about kidnapping them and shit. I just want some closure. Get to know them. Make them feel as shitty as they made me feel. Punish them.
>>29709287
It's alright buddy, I see where you're coming from and at times I thought the same.
Sure, but if you don't experience any intimacy then your vow locked you into the fucking cuck adventures without a hot wife.
>If you know for a fucking fact it would hurt you if your girlfriend to do it
That's not what I said. She doesn't show a lot of emotions so it might even be a subconcious attempt to engage her in any way, fuck do I know.
You seem to feel strongly about this, have you been cheated on perhaps?
I have, and it's not a way for me to justify my ACT of (according to you) cheating. But I'd like to say that it has given me a sense of understanding around the topic.
People fuck up. They say they love their kids and then they beat them. They say they love animals and eat them. They love the planet and then grill it. We can be good people who do unintentional harm, and if we can avoid it actually causing damage after making a mistake - why won't we? Not saying that I'm convinced of this myself, I'm still debating quite a bit.
>>29709619
Yeah I know that it can seem like a petty thing and sure it was, but it wasn't the fact that you missed the band that was a drag probably - I'd say that it was the "power move". But hey anon don't sweat it, we all encounter bad apples which makes us rotten by proxy too. Let's just find better ones I guess. I'm still in love with this girl though but I am having some issues which I don't talk to her about because I'm afraid of losing her too if I bitch too much. And yeah getting back with someone after breaking up usually ends bad, as we usually break up for a reason.
>>29710037
Ah I fucked up, wrote the wrong thing to the quote. Oh well excuse me, I've had a few tonight.
New thread:
>>29710058
>>29710058
>>29710058
Oridigitaloriginal
>>29710037
>Sure, but if you don't experience any intimacy then your vow locked you into the fucking cuck adventures without a hot wife.
Golly gee, call me a fucking a brilliant mastermind but if you aren't satisfied with a relationship you know what I would do? Fucking leave.
Just because humans can be hypocritical shits, doesn't mean what you do is right. You choose to be a cuck and instead of choosing to leave because she wont fulfill your needs you act like the scum of the earth whom are the problem with society. Instead of being an upright person with some shred of a moral code, you instead do scummy things because you don't even have the balls to leave who you are with after you tell them "You don't satisfy me." You then proceed to pretend to understand and sympathize with people who do shitty hypocritical acts like you so you can then in turn feel like you are the victim in everything and guilt free of your actions.
Cheating is an immoral thing and all you do is destroy an established trust that is supposed to be made through a loving connection. See I didn't get cheated on, but seeing fucks like you act like some shitty victim because you aren't getting enough ass from your current squeeze is a god damn joke. People like you are spineless shits who don't have enough balls to live alone, but yet no restrain themselves from doing the morally wrong thing that could hurt someone else. You are playing with someone else's emotions to get your rocks off.
>>29680582
I'm currently withdrawing from Kratom (very light opiate, essentially) after a year of use while on probation for possession of methamphetamine. It didn't show up on drug tests. My life now is really put together and soon I will be moving to Boston to start a career as a software developer.
As long as I can kick this stuff. I was addicted to heroin for 5ish years and this is nothing compared to the hell of quitting that but my mind is still racing and all I'm doing is scheming ways to get more. My good friend has all my cash, cards, and ID so that I can't which is great but also really sucks.
I feel like the person I want to feel like- and be like- while on drugs. At least in the beginning, before they totally take hold and end up ruining things. I've been sober before for a year and it was okay but I always felt like I was missing something.
Fuck, just wish two weeks would blow by already.
>just cracked my laptop screen
>everything is purple and green
>still browsing r9k
>tfw being attacked by mothra
>>29710300
The thing is that I don't think that we are guilt free for making these mistakes. I even encourage feeling the emotions properly because after all it is your own fault for fucking up.
Been thinking about leaving too but I also feel like I can work through this shit without needing to make a big fuss about me being insecure. You know, try to overcome it and be a better person for her as well.
And you might be right when saying that I'm too scared to live alone, and that might be why I'm feeling like I do right now as she makes me feel alone in the relationship. Not saying it is her fault at all because I know that it is all in my head, and that why I am saying that it is something I'd like to work on, overcome and then be a better person in general.
When you talk about victimization, you mention it in the most single tracked way possible. How is it impossible for two people to get hurt in a relationship? I haven't been out to justify my actions, just ventilate how I feel about the situation. And I do appreciate your input because I also do agree with you to a certain extent because we're not simple as ABC.
>>29702476
Happy birthday anon-kun
hoping that 3301 great things happen to you this year
none of my dreams will ever come true because of how I was in the past
>>29702476
happy bday anon. no one said anything to me this year either.
>>29704961
Wow, literally the worst region to pick a wife, everyone so is fucking stressed in Brasilia.
Quick Robots, I need some help
>Joined a skype group for some niche interest
>slowly become friends with everyone, the whole group turns into friends just shitposting with tons of lewd erp
>one of the guys starts jokingly suggesting that me and this other guy are gay for each other
>deny and laugh off
>Guy 1 keeps pressing it, constantly writing lewd things about us (writefagging is part of the group)
>Guy 2 and I keep saying "ironc" lewd things to each other
>earlier today, guy 2 messaged me saying that he's not really sure how to feel, and that he's always been bi-curious, but he's not really sure how much of what he said was just ironic or not
>nothing really comes of it
>later on
>guy 1 pms me, asking me to play a little game with him
>he writes a little cute poem, and wants me to message it to guy 2, pretending its from me.
Guy 2 isnt on yet, so I haven't sent it, but im wondering if I should. I dont know what will come of it, but im worried ill fuck things up if I do. The poem has nothing overly lewd or sappy in it, but just enough to really show him my hand. Help me robots, I'm wayyyy out of my comfort zone here
>>29711009
You are aware that you will probably destroy someone's hapiness right? Make someone the outcast so you don't become the outcast....
>>29711009
if you're into him then go ahead if not then don't
whatever you do don't play with his confused feelings
>>29711009
Yeah don't do it, people shouldn't be shamed for being different than you.
>>29711053
>>29711060
>>29711196
I'm sorry, I must have worded something in my post wrong, because I have no fucking idea what youre talking about. No one is making anyone an outcast, everyone is cool with all the weird gay shit. I am into him, not just as a gay thing, but as I "I genuinely like him for his personality thing", and im not shaming anyone. He's not OPENLY gay, and we're all just bantering, which he does right back. I'm not just fucking with him or anything, I really am into him, which is why I feel weird about sending him anything. I do like him, but I dont want to take the chance that he says no or some shit and I fuck the group up.
>>29711289
Oh my bad then. Well yeah would you be able to talk to him low key without the rest getting their noses all over the shit? Figuring so neither he or you can get hurt by the group/fuck the group up in any way.
My older sister overdosed and died 5 years ago (she was not a drug-addict), she was the brightest, kindest, social, intelligent and best person I ever knew. It still hunts me. I wish it had been me instead of her, I feel like she would have had a better future than mine.
>>29711365
What exactly caused it? I'm irrationally afraid of overdosing myself so I steer clear of drugs.
>>29711354
Yeah, the whole plan was to just PM it to him, I'd never do some shit like that in the group chat. The main concern here is that I'm really afraid that I'd be coming on to strong or some shit, and that with him being kinda confused on how far he wants to take this, it would push him the wrong way. He's one of my best friends in the group, so i dont want to make things weird. I dont want to NOT post it either though, because I do want him to make a decision, and this is the type of guy to just fence sit until someone pushes him along.
Do you guys remember that time anon was cucked by his father?
>>29711434
post screencap
>>29711556
http://imgur.com/gallery/hlOyr
My life is going terribly. Not sure if im gonna just end it all.
>>29711583
That was where she was a dirty chav right?
>>29680736
dont worry about it senpai it really does not matter.
>>29680736
How small?
oregano
>>29683051
join the army
originaliao
>tfw waiting for diagnosis to come back on the cough my dad has had for months now
>his mother died of (presumed) lung cancer and smoked like a chimney her whole life
>>29711776
Fucking this mang
>>29680582
I need surgery to fix my GERD. It's really bad. Doesn't let me sleep. I sometimes go 24 hours without sleeping because of it.
I started a new job after being a NEET for 2 years and the stress plus the not sleeping due to the GERD has been slowly killing me.
>>29710975
Pretty much, her family (and therefore mine) is riddled with rapes, suicides, and beatings. She uses what she went through as a child as some way to garner sympathy and as an excuse as to why she treats me like garbage. How I feel about her cannot be explained in words.
>49
>khv
>wagecucc
>only kept alive by my obsession with my waifu (pic related)
>slowly watching as everyone else passes me, has kids, gets married, buys houses, and moves forward in life
>some of my coworkers have grandkids already
>still renting a tiny apartment and sleeping three hours a night
kill me
>>29711946
>"49"
>"khv"
>"only kept alive by my obsession with my waifu"
>"still renting a tiny apartment and sleeping three hours a night"
>"kill me"
You're me
Only, nearly triple the age
I'm sorry anon
>>29711946
what wizard powers did you get
>>29711946
impressive. Are you an old school animenerd or did you pick it up late?
>>29712086
invisibility to women
>>29712130
I started watching around 2006 I think? Moe is what got me hooked. I think the first show I watched had Rie Kugimiya in it and I just went from there. I really only watch cute girls doing cute things or some scifi stuff once in a while like akira or something.
Only reason i didnt kys is bc im to scared to do it.
>>29680582
Pepperoni give me the oregano content
>>29712742
i just want something. I dont want nothing, but at the same time i dont want real life. desu i just want to spend the rest of my life high/watching anime/dreaming
>tfw have been ghosted by females on here all this week
>tfw will never find a qt weeb gf
J U S T
>>29680582
>stuck in a shitty town again with no way out
>can't get a decent job, been 6 months now
>anxiety is getting worse
>want to drink every night but no money
>all my online friends hate me, nobody to really talk to anymore
>people online hate me, I'm a meme to them and they're all more successful than me
>can't even pay my bills, grandmother has been helping me out a little bit
>internet might get shut off again soon
>turning 25 in 2 weeks
It's not going to get better is it?
Friends girlfriend just killed herself, I feel like I'm going to loose him too. It's also rekindling feelings I thought I left behind from my ex.
>>29712854
It's only going to get better if you want it to and make it so. You say you can't get a decent job. Lower your expectations. From what I understand, you need to take what you can find in this job market. While you work at your new job, you can safely try and find a better job from there. That way you at least have and income and aren't neet.
>>29680582
My life feels like it is going nowhere, I've been sitting in my room doing nothing for the last 2 years. I feel empty inside and the only reason I'm still around is cause I don't want to upset my family.
>>29701679
I'd play with you anon. Where are you from?
>move out of my shitty home town with gf
>things go ok for a year but she has borderline personality disorder so things get kind of difficult over time
>she sees that its damaging me and it starts to make her feel like she wants it to end
>breaks up with me
>kind of talk it down to a "break"
>stuck back in shitty home town with no job now and none of my friends live here anymore
>she's stringing me along and pretending we'll probably be together in a couple of weeks but i know its not gonna happen
im stuck in a dead end because i spent 2 years being there for her and now i dont even have her. every phase of life is an utter waste of time
>>29713179
What the hell, are you me? I'm in the same boat.
>>29713326
is this your first day on /r9k/? literally everybody on this board is exactly like>>29713179
all this suffering is making us stronger in the end right?
>>29713404
No, all this suffering ultimately serves no purpose other than negativity. In the end, you will find that you'd have simply been better off never to have experienced it.
>>29702476
Happy birthday senpai don't let normies bring you down
>>29680582
Pressure of no money to spend and deeper debts is seriously depressing me. Finished college recently but no jobs in my area of expertise. I didn't think about the fact there wouldn't be any jobs when i finished. I just thought about getting an education.
Now I'm trying to pay that education back with no fruits at all from it. I'm trying to sustain my house by paying the rent with money i don't have. Same goes for groceries.
I'm so fucked, depressed and scared of what might happen. I don't know what to do and I'm almost thinking about the lottery for that absent chance i might solve all my problems and stress in one go.
I want to be free and have fun. But i can't
I have almost no purpose in life. I want to finish making this video game I'm working on, but otherwise I just don't care. I don't care about college, or getting a job, or making money. I don't even care about getting a GF anymore. My life just seems so inconsequential; I've never set any goals because I figured all my dreams were unrealistic.
This isn't a terrible feeling though. At least I'm never let down.
I CAN'T JUST KILL MYSELF!!!
I've been contemplating suicide for years. I just can't do it. I'll plan for it, but then I get some stupid fantasy of a better life and then I never do it. I wish I would just get hit by a bus or something so the decision could be made for me.
