Can we have a feels thread?
Get it off your chest, now!
What is troubling you?
If I'm playing videogames for 6 hours a day I may as well cut my nuts of and go crawl under a parked car and die?
I can't get off this couch. I start a new job on Wednesday, good salary, full benefits, but I can't seem to get my head into wagecuck mode. I just want something to kill me so I can stop being a failure.
>>29680582
>no husky to cuddle
>>29680582
I hate my parents
I hate them
My father is a beta manlet with anger issues
My mother is a narcissistic selfcentered passive-aggressive bitch
They emotionally neglected me as a child which is why I'm so fucked up
And they act like fucking children all the time and I can't fucking stand it
Being in the same room as them makes me so uncomfortable
I can't even do anything when they're in a bad mood because I just feel tense and anxious
If I actually had the balls to do a beta uprising they'd be the first to fucking go
I want a Japanese gf so badly. I don't even know how to get one or what I would do if I got one, but it's the only thing keeping me alive. I've been learning Japanese and saving up what little money I can get to go to Japan for a month, but I don't think I can come back with a Japanese gf.
Feels really shitty because I know that even if I magically obtained the Japanese gf of my dreams the experience would never live up to my expectations even if she were a 10/10 pure virgin.
The person i love has ben around me for 5 years now, muster some courage and fight social anxiety and confess. She says that she doesnt like me cuz i'm too sweet. Never wanted to kill myself so much.
Small dicc. Everytime i think about it. Makes me feel small and weak as a person. Holds me back from everything.
>>29680708
Have you tried not being such a pathetic weeb?
Stuck in a shitty place in life and seemingly no way out
I want sex so badly... Sooo badly i cant concentrate on anything. If only i a was a girl i could just ask for attention online and dozens of people would offer me sex. But no, i am a guy and only normies/chads/rich people can get it.
>>29680582
I am a poor 26 year old phimosis having still acne ridden people fearing failure who is just waiting for his parents to die of old age so he can kill himself, who finds the entire human race as it is degenerate, mentally ill and disgusting, who's got anger issues and personality disorders from being bullied so much by normies and stacies in school he can't be redeemed, who's only joy in life is watching korean cartoons and complaining about things on facebook 2.0 for the cool kids, known as current 4chin
My health keeps going shitter and shitter and is more like an 80 year old man's than a 26 year olds adn I can not accept the reality that by this point I will never be able to gain physical intimacy or love from women, who are shit anyway these modern days so all I have is imagination and 2D but it's just not enough
>>29680600
Do you even enjoy it? It's all I can do and its just boring and not fun. Makes me more angry and stressed then I need to be.
>>29680750
It's only partially about being a weeb. My evtire adolescence I was bullied by white women, and it got to the point of me pressing assault charges so it was pretty fucking awful. So when I would go home to my anime after a day of hell I would see qt anime girls who would never hurt me, and they of course spoke Japanese. As I grew older I couldn't shake the biological desire for 3d so I watched JAV and essentially put the final nail into the coffin of me conditioning myself to want only Japanese women. I've wanted a Japanese gf since I was 12 (21 now) not being a weeb isn't going to help now.
tl;dr was bullied by white girls so I want a Japanese gf because of anime.
>realized after 4 years at uni and at age 25 that I'm studying the wrong thing
>always banked on going into teaching, had opportunity to try it through a short internship, was not impressed
>wtf am i supposed to do now
>lose motivation and fall behind on coursework, have to redo a couple of exams in august
>start realizing i am in the exact same place i was when i turned 18 some 7 years ago
>no gf, minimum work experience, low income, still a chubby fuck, still socially awkward
>mfw my friends and peers are now in great jobs, stable relationships, getting married, buying houses, doing shit with their lives
>meanwhile i am posting on a mongolian moving pictures discussion forum
Were I more emotionally vulnerable I'd probably be diagnosed with a depression.
>>29680967
It entertains me slightly, just enough so that I enjoy life enough to not kill myself, but I still hate myself
the woman i love left me. I dont know if i'll ever love again as much as i love her. I may be alone for the rest of my life.
i am extreme anxiety near people, mostly strangers.
got bullied alot in school, went through some real shit, did drugs, and ended up with mental illness on my hands now that im 25.
my only redeeming factor right now is my 3D work which is getting better and im actually dedicated to. i got some work online to do but im still terrified of the future.
i can't even go out and draw money because im too scared my anxiety will trigger, no pill ever helped me.
on the flipside, most of the people i met are narcissistic pieces of shit that rather talk but not listen,put social statues and money above everything and don't care about anyone but themselves. no wonder the world is going to shit. we are breeding little devils and im just fine by not being part of this
I've been spending my nights thinking about how my life would be like if I moved to some cities around the world and started anew. Every other night I think of one city and I research apartments to rent, job offers, places to go, local culture, etc; in that city/country. And then I daydream about living there. I wish I had the guts to act on it instead of being just a 26 years old useless NEET.
> Be me two months (18 year old male, in good physical shape, I would rate myself a 6.5/10 maybe a 7)
> Ask a girl I liked out because fuck it, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take blah blah blah.
> I have never had a woman say yes to a date, so my expectations were rather low
> To my surprise she says yes, and we swap phone numbers.
> Is actually engaged in texting, replies a few minutes after I send a msg, more then a few words etc etc.
> A few hours before our date, she says she's sick and that she can't come.
> Not a big deal, she is a shy person, probably got cold feet. Besides, It was a free entry community thing so it didn't cost me anything.
> I text back a few hours later after talking to my more experienced college friend about it, he gives me some good pointers on how to respond and I reply basically saying that I understand, I'll come up with something else we can do, all that stuff.
> She never replied
Hold me Brehs
>>29680634
my parents try to tease and aggravate me from time to time
it got really bad then i got sick of. i just tell them to fuck off if they try to belittle me.
i honestly don't have time for theit petty shit and if they threaten me in any way i just tell them to do it instead of threating
>>29681343
So sorry for that. People should just be honest when they're either not interested or just too afraid.
>>29681415
don't expect woman to initiate everything
>>29680730
Same here
Originalitym8
I am frustrated and dissatisfied with life. I'm 25 and I live at home working retail. Most of my cuck wage is going to my family. I have severe social anxiety and I'm finding it harder and harder to go out in public. I have no self esteem and no social life outside of the internet. I'm frustrated and filled with despair at the current political climate, I feel that society is failing and people are doing nothing to prevent social collapse. I'm tired all the fucking time, all I want to do is sleep, I feel almost no joy in anything I do for recreation - which isn't much anymore, mostly vidya. I think about blowing my brains out every day but I'm afraid of dying. The pain won't fucking stop. The anxiety. The fucking constant clicking noise in my left ear and the high pitched tinny noise fucking CONSTANTLY are driving me up the fucking wall. I've been overweight since childhood and I genuinely want to change but anxiety and fatigue seem to win every day. I went for a jog a few days ago and it felt great. But I can't seem to get back out there. I cycle between overwhelming despair and overwhelming anger.
Also tfw no gf.
I want to feel okay for once.
>>29680582
im a retard, or at least not genius.
i dont know what i want, what i can, what others think and what roll i play.
I walk and look at people, put a semi mask on my carachter to steal their fame or see them do their thing. (Im clearly a cyborg by that metric, belive me i do some wierd shit, but i do have some friends and can to a certian extent impress people.)
And i really fear adult life.
>>29680582
>try to be open during a group conversation
>all nice and well, until You cannot fit in anymore
>seeing other get along, whilist being cast into the oblivion
there goes my enthusiasm
>>29680582
Life is hard, and being honest, it's even harder when you can't just ask help or to be listened to, because as a man you are supposed to keep your problems to yourself, otherwise you're ridiculed
I seriously don't know what I want in my life.
I hate, HATE being around other people. It always gives my inferiority complex new heights when I see even just average looking people.
I hate the country I live in where people value you only by how much money you earn, nothing else.
I wish I had a friend with which I could talk about art, history and all that shit that truly interests me, instead of constantly having to force myself to talk with other people about stuff that truly bores me.
I seriously have only the internet to talk with people who I can really relate and with which I can really have fun discussing things.
Everyone irl is either a normie or just some complete dead-end boring fag who does nothing but working and indulging in video games or TV when he's back home.
fuck my life...
>>29680582
I'm 21 and still live at home. I have two more years of college to go but it still makes me feel like shit since I'm the only one from my old friend circle who is still living at home. I don't have a job either, I just focus on school and do really good but I feel like its hurting my chances still living at home with no money.
>tfw can't get motivated to practice piano
>tfw will never be good because I didn't practice seriously when I was a kid
>>29682370
if its serius you can talk about it pussy.
Since I was about 17 video games have been my only hobby. I'm 24 now and I've completely lost interest in video games but because it was my only hobby for so long I don't know what to do with myself now that I've stopped.
The only other hobby is going to the gym for an hour every other day but I spend most of my day at home bored out of my mind.
I'm not lonely or anything, I like spending time by myself but without video games I feel like I'm wasting my days.
I even thought my lack of enjoyment playing games was because I outgrew consoles so I built a pretty decent PC for myself but I barely even play any games on that either.
>>29682200
I know this isnt much but i wish you could feel okay even for once. Stay strong anon.
>>29680582
I wish I didn't do stupid stuff in my past.
I can't stop thinking about the fact that it makes me a disgusting person and that it's impossible to fix it. What's done is done.
Trying to keep it a secret from everyone is slowly killing me inside, and I'm so afraid of people finding out.
I hate myself so much, but I love life.
>>29682446
What country anon? Need someone to talk to?
>>29682722
What did you do? Let it out anon.
>>29682773
Masturbated to stuff I shouldn't have - my mom and a bunch of grills that were a year or two younger than me. I was 14/15 at the time and it happened only once for each thing I masturbated to, but it still makes me feel like literal scum. So afraid of people finding out and rejecting me, since I'm desperate for interaction with other people, with the exception for a few odd days where I just isolate myself.
>>29680582
I'm wondering why I was even born. I'm 22 and have achieved absolutely nothing.
>kissless virgin
>NEET
>friendless
>unable to drive
>literally zero motivation or ambition
>can't face living for another 50+ years on this planet but I'm a coward
>trying to accept I'll die alone
>poorfag
My parents are the only reason I'm still around at this point and I feel like a burden on them. I shouldn't even exist.
>>29682967
You can't let that hold on to you man, you must let go and learn to forgive yourself, its the only way things can get better. Your seriously upset because you jerked to people one year younger then you?
>>29683053
I think it's probably because I try to fit in so much in any group and stray away from anything remotely immoral / weird. Feels like I'm addicted to other people sometimes.
I've tried to let it go many times. I realize it's just holding me down, and that I'm actually making it into a bigger problem if I let it hold me down and just as I feel like I'm ready to improve myself, feel good and carry on, these intrusive scenarios of close friends / family rejecting me and calling me disgusting, pedophile and so forth pop up. They just crush me and make me feel like almost everything I do is meaningless because what I create as an image about myself will crumble when (or if) my secret is out and I'll be thrown away. Then I go back and think about how immoral and irreparable my actions are, and the cycle starts again.
Thanks for talking about it with me man. I really do appreciate having someone to talk about it, without feeling threatened.
>cant conversate for shite
>have no idea who i am
the last one really gets me. even if i could talk at length, i wouldnt be able to talk about anything. I lost whatever made me worthwhile and i see no reason to continue.
Just the usual wanting someone who doesn't want me and I can't get over it. Getting drunk and being neet ain't fun. On the plus side I'm quitting weed (been a week) and got a therapist for the first time in a while so I'm optimistic.
>>29680708
I know this exact same feel my lad.except I also want her to dominate me 2bh senpai
>>29683414
Do you have motivation left? Perhaps you can pick up a hobby, maybe something popular and "build" yourself up from there?
>>29680582
Kek, I busted my ass studying for a month and almost went nuts with stress but now I passed so I get to relax, watch anime and I'm getting a new graphics card and new laptop from my family plus a bunch of cash
Last night I had the fist night sleep that lasted more than 3 hours in a month
>>29683414
I feel the same way man >>29683051
Especially the bit about not knowing who you are. It feels like whatever personality I had has evaporated, and I'm now a shell of a person with no hope or connection to anyone or anything.
>>29680582
meh, just the usual >no gf, my life is not terrible besides it
it is an 'anon waste his day with anime' skit.
>>29680582
>move to southern california from glasgow because everyone there is on heroin and opiates
>people constantly harass me to say things and wont shut up about my accent when I just want to be left alone
no one replies to me irl
no one replies to me in here
Going to med school because my parents basically forced me to. I'm not sure if I'll succeed. I should have an heroed a long time ago.
>>29683543
>It's an "anon jacks off to doujin 3 times in a day" day.
>>29683567
Hey anon. How are you?
>tfw haven't got a text from anyone except my parents in months
>>29683597
Damn son, I couldn't handle that.
>>29683597
Fuck, that sounds tough. I hope you can make it man, from what I know even if you're into medicine, med school is hell.
What would you've chosen if your parents didn't force you to go to med school?
>tfw ugly as fuck
>tfw nothing I do will ever matter because of that
>tfw people will always hate me and treat me like shit
I gave up. I wasn't meant to be a part of this world.
>>29683651
Not well, been in a rut for months now. the rabbit hole I'm in is still pulling me in
I haven't slept in 2 days
I never confess my feelings to my oneitis in high school 9th grade
Because of this she would be in an on and off relationship with chad til senior year...
I missed my chance and never had the courage to tell her and I'll never she her again...
Everytime I think about this it cause my physical distress and I can never let it go....
>>29682722
>>29682967
>I wish I didn't do stupid stuff in my past.
>I can't stop thinking about the fact that it makes me a disgusting person and that it's impossible to fix it. What's done is done.
I can relate. I sexually manipulated other children when I was younger and even raped a girl while another was naked, watching, because I told them to take off their clothes. I stopped doing this when I was around 12 I think. If it randomly pops up in my head I fucking freak out and almost breakdown. Even writing this makes my whole room spin.
This may or may not do much to you, but it could've been worse. I don't think what you've done is 'that' disgusting. Seems more a case of being a horny hormonal teenager than anything else.
That said I still wouldn't share it with people.
I hope you learn not to dwell too much on the past and that you're doing better.
>>29682446
Save money up and move your ass outta there.
>>29683748
Ugly people succeed all the time. You are just lazy and giving up
>>29683683
Truth be told, I have no fucking clue. I don't have any dreams for the future and while I dont mind becoming a doctor, I dont know if I can even actually become one.
My brother is a doctor and seeing what he went through to get his degree makes me want to give up.
1/?
>Used to be bullied through elementary school, verbally harassed during middle school and almost fine during highschool
>Have been diagnosed with Clinical Depression more than a year and a half ago
>19 and already two times college dropout
>Mother has been threatening to kick me out daily for almost a decade now
>Mother says I simulate being ill in order not to do any efforts
>Mother tells me to find a job or go back to school and when I try to explain to her that it's not that I don't want to but that I can't she puts herself as the victim and me as the ingrate children that is too lazy and ruins her life.
>Half little brother is 10 years old and can literally harass me all day long and insult me while being protected by my mother who encourages him
>Can't live with father because I have panic attacks when I'm in his apartment
>Been suicidal for almost a decade
my wasted potential, and my potentially wasted potential.
>>29684027
2/2
>Being gay not being enough, I realised I'm trans
>Can't pay for HRT
>Can't come out
>Half my family is muslim
>Other half has christians
>Will probably never pass
>Actually is smarter than average, was too lazy to capitalise on it and is now too depressed to be productive
inb4 "smart but lazy meme", I actually was a precocious child that didn't get spotted
>Can't even brag about it because it just means I'm a huge piece of shit that didn't profit from the one thing life has given them
>Used to be obese and finally got back to a normal weight/slim body
>Gained about 30kg/60lbs in less than a year after a highschool
>Binge Eater
>Food and Soda addict
>Is scared to go out
>Is scared to see/call/talk to family
>My social life is basically a single discord server and a friend, but I haven't seen here face to face since december 2014
>Is about to start going to a day hospital
>Wish I could die but always freaks out before being able to actually do it
The only thing that actually give me pleasures are:
Downloading pictures on internet
Talking to my lover who lives on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean and we both still haven't found the courage to show our face to each others
Reading mangas, but I spend most of my time doing everything but that because I feel like I'll miss something if I spend my time reading.
It's my first time posting in one of those threads I think, I don't know if I feel relieved or even more depressed.
>>29680582
>What is troubling you?
I'm still alive. I'm still fucking alive after fucking eleven years of wishing and trying to die. This is fucking awful. Why can't I just leave?
>>29684052
kill yourself then, bitch. That, or start doing a lot of drugs.
>>29683982
Working 10x harder than everyone else just to get some money and only have people use you for your money is not success.
I have people I go out with and have fun, but everytime I go travel home from these events I always get anxious that the people I was just out with hate me and will never talk to me again after this. And I fear this made-up "rejection" almost all the time unless I am out with them again, for example I am scared that if I say "no" once, they will never even ask me again.
>>29684074
Not to mention I am scared of talking online with people I know IRL, does anyone here experience this?
>>29683497
Is there a name for this feeling? This is exactly how I feel 100% of the time
>>29684069
>kill yourself then, bitch
Already tried. Helium didn't work. Sleeping pulls didn't work. Hanging myself didn't work. Cutting my veins didn't work. I have yet to try throwing myself off of a building but given my incredible talent at fucking this kind of things up I can't help but think I'll fail.
i wanted to die for a long time but i kind of changed my mind recently. i still feel like dying but i don't want to have to do that.
now i'm pretty sure it's too late because i've destroyed my mind and my body with unhealthy habits and i'm so far behind where i should be that i'm just incapable of being normal.
i'm trying so hard now but i don't think i'm going to make it.
i'm afraid i'm going to die alone as a complete failure and i just don't know what to do.
>>29680582
Goodnight anons. I hope i'll die in my sleep peacefully and meet you all in the other side.
>>29684027
>I try to explain her that it's not that I don't want to but I cant
>>29684122
>Already tried. Helium didn't work. Sleeping pulls didn't work. Hanging myself didn't work. Cutting my veins didn't work. I have yet to try throwing myself off of a building but given my incredible talent at fucking this kind of things up I can't help but think I'll fail.
if you wanted to die, you'd die. it's not all that hard. don't lie to yourself or anyone else. you clearly want to live so just stop pretending.
>>29684122
Not who you were answering to but well...
It's not that it didn't work, it's just that you don't really want it. It's not hard to kill yourself, now actually finding the strength to do it is something else.
I'm not belittling your pain, but what you want is not to die but to live without the pain. Death is just the only way out you can see but not the path you want to take.
>>29684166
Let's be honest for a second, you're totally right. I've tried to rationalise it over and over again but it still doesn't work even with solid logic.
I wrote this 3 years ago and I'm still indecisive retard.
>>29683923
Shit. Has anything traumatic happened in your life before that?
Even if it hasn't, I feel sorry for you man. You sound like a nice person. Feeling extremely remorseful about it and the fact that it happened when you were very young and stopped it at 12 makes it look to me like you're a normal person now, who had a messed up childhood.
Do you know how the other people involved are doing now?
I wish you can find a way to cope with it, man.
>>29683998
Consider the fact that if you manage to pull through that hell, you'll have the power to influence so many people's lives in a good way, and they will fondly remember you.
What specialty are you interested in? Or have your parents chosen that as well?
>>29684194
Maybe because a person who is experiencing trauma isn't the best at logic? Maybe you don't think about it rather than obsess about it?
19 years stuck in a crazy abusive family. Still there.
The past twelve months have been the most eventful of my life. I thought freshman year of college might transform me into a functional person since it would be my first experience in something akin to the real world (was "homeschooled," actually neglected, until high school, at which point I was enrolled in online school), but my mom died and my family issues got even worse. Only one person at my college showed me brief sympathy: one "sorry." I made no friends and ate alone every day.
Now that it's summer, I've gone full NEET mode. I sleep until 4:00 PM and only leave my room to dig for whatever junk food's stocked in the pantry at night. I've never had a job and don't know how or if it's possible to start. I told myself at the start of college that I should take it slow, knowing just being out of my house by myself was a massive accomplishment for me. Meeting real people, however, has dropped my self-esteem to an all-time low. There's not a single one I wouldn't bow down to.
I'm going to see a psychiatrist for the first time soon. Hopefully there's hope to be had in that
>Manage to somehow get an LDR girlfriend
>We are both damaged people romance wise and can't handle getting hurt well
>She confesses me to a few days ago that she was dating someone else while I was courting her/asked her out.
>Was incredibly hurt by fact she lied to me and betrayed my trust
>But while I'm feeling hurt she was self loathing for being such a shitty person to me.
>She kept talking about suicide and all this stupid shit while I'm trying to get my shit together.
>Didn't really respond to it outside of "Don't kill yourself, I don't want that."
>Just kind of stayed quiet and if I did talk it was about other shit, it really bugged me.
>End up stop talking for the night and now she hasn't been on anything for the past two days and won't respond to anything I send her
>Worried she did something fucking stupid when I told her not to.
>She left literally nothing, nothing telling me she was going to do it or that she was going to put herself in a mental hospital so she doesn't do anything stupid
Has anyone been to a mental hospital? Can you have contact with the outside world while you are detained there?
I'm feeling all sorts of anger/worry/depression, and stupid shit inbetween. All I wanted was a girlfriend to love and love me back, I'm tired of this shit. If any of you fucking femanons read this, stop being fucking liars and learn to tell the god damn truth. This is why you don't fucking lie.
>>29684209
I grew up with a physically and psychologically abusing mom. I don't know how much it had to do with my actions later in my childhood. I personally think it's because I've been exposed to pornographic material and wanted to try it out. I obviously didn't realize at that age that it could have lasting effects on other people and I'm scared that it will bite me back some day.
Two girls seem to have forgotten, or just don't mention it. I hope it's the former.
I wished it was the only thing that happened in my childhood. I'm far from 'normal' now. No friends, NEET, everyone hates me, fear people, pretty much typical robot and I don't feel like anythings going to get better ever.
A fun thing to notice is that even though everyone looks down upon me for being a failure in my adult life, they also blame my mother for the bigger part. It didn't make much sense to me when I first heard it but it kinda makes me happy that not everyone thinks it's completely my fault.
>>29681140
You won't be alone for the rest of your life unless you chose to stay alone, but it might just be true that you'll never love as you have in this relationship.
>>29680582
I'm really lonely, and I'm wasting my life away doing nothing. Not much else to report
Oh and some fat girl who has personality issues who fucking worships me wants to be my gf.
>tfw a regular thin girl will never like you
>>29680582
The source of my wisdom and reliability comes from some horrible 20 (aware) years of dealing with mentally ill and abusive parents.
I don't want to be relied on anymore, I wish there was anyone for me to rely on. I wish there was even a need for me to rely on someone, I feel cold and nothing ever makes me break anymore, I handle situations of crisis with utmost calm and pragmatism.
People rely on my advice too much, I'm often scarily accurate and people benefit from my advice and they become ultimately dependent on my being a part of their life. They soon start relegating my humanity into a sheer machine that they just ask for "readings" and "advice".
I'm not pleased. I've recently thrown out the window all of the bothersome relationships that I kept going for possibly too many years now... My so called "best friend" included.
It's just me and my lover now. And I'm sour that this is the best I've ever felt in my life.
>>29684362
Abuse in early childhood fucks up a person hard. Your mom is a terrible person to have abused you, and I think that all of this wouldn't have happened if she didn't do that to you. You mom may have also suffered from abuse when she was young, as well. It's actually amazing that you stopped with the bad deeds so early on and realized that it was bad - that means that there is good inside of you that survived after you were abused. I really hope that you can forgive yourself and carry on to a better life.
>ordinary friday with nothing happening
>best friend has been awfully quiet
>decide to call it an early night
>look on facebook
>picture of the whole gang who held a surprise party for a friends 25th's.
>I haven't heard a damn thing
>it was arranged by his GF, apparently she said 'family only' yet the gang was still there
Guess I learned something today.
>>29684558
To have ever fooled yourself into believing that you were truly considered a "part of the gang" was the biggest mistake you ever did. You have learned your lesson now, don't trust random normies.
>>29684558
That's harsh. Will you confront him about it, or just cut him off?
Anyone else /goodfeels/ here?
I'm just thinking how much I've grown in the past year and a half and I feel pretty proud. I went from a NEET who used to go to sleep at 7am and wake up at 2pm to getting my first job, learning basic stuff like how to wash my own clothes, how to mop, how to drive, etc. getting a job, getting my own phone, paying my own bills, getting a car, not living with my parents, getting a small group of friends, and getting into shape.
I'll probably always be a virgin and never have a girlfriend but I got over that feeling and I'm fine with that fact.
>>29684594
Splendid job!
I think that by improving your social aspect of life, and continuing to do (more friends, meeting new people) will most likely lead to you meeting a nice girl.
>>29684547
You have a very nice way with words Anon. Suprisingly it's cheering me up. Thank you for that Anon.
As for my mom, She wasn't abused or faced any hardships. She lies a lot about her past to new people she meets about how she was abused and had to take care of her sisters even though the opposite is true. Even tried us to sell her bullshit lies. I think it's called gaslighting or something along those lines.
Most people in my family have agreed that she tries to live her life as tele novella. She likes to burn cash, fuck guys, act like she's important and all that shit.
I've been recently wondering if she has some kind of mental illness that makes her delusional. She basically fabricates her life and victimizes herself. I hate it.
Not really sure where I was going with that but it's nice to let it out and rant about it for a little while.
You seem like a nice person Anon. Don't let your sins hold you back too much from life.
>>29684589
Already did, best friend is quite afraid conflicts.
He was just as surprised as me to see that the rest of the gang (more like two people) where there.
Doesn't help I'm going on a summerhouse trip in 6 days with the gang, this whole happening killed my hype for it.
>tfw I had more social life when I was a kid
>>29680582
I want assurance someone is going to listen, for once, instead of never getting replied to.
Does anyone care about my feels? Does anyone want to know?
>>29684724
Lay it on me my man.
>>29683566
How did you make it to the states m8? I want to leave the UK and start a new life but don't know what the fuck to do
>>29684787
Dual citizenship
>>29684807
Why did you move to fucking California?
>>29680874
start working out.
learn self discipline.
put more if not any effort into EVERYTHING you do.
go on a diet to buff up more.
leave your apartment and go somewhere you've always had an interest in going.
if you're not interested in any locations then find one that many people have an interest or fondness with.
try to stand out just enough to let people know you are you and not some normie but not too much to let people assume (even though you are, and not as an insult, but a sad truth (and i'm terribly sorry)) a sad cuck beta neckbeard who sits at home doing nothing but looking at 2-dimensional asian women and complaining about your life in a place full of recluses just as degraded as you instead of taking action and doing something about it.
fix up your appearance.
get rid of the acne first.
don't worry about people giving you red-flaggish looks at the pharmacy, you'll never see them again.
same with the cashier, you're just another customer, you'll never see each other again, neither of you care about each other.
look up ways to treat your phimosis, schedule appointments with trustworthy doctors around.
keep track of budgets and schedules.
don't look for women, look for soulmates, somebody who you can relate with.
only EVER use online dating as a last resort, this method is always the least rewarding.
people always fall in love because of appearance, something about that person that reminds them of something they are familiar and fond with.
believe me when i say this, anon.
i've been there.
succeed where i failed.
>>29684703
I had like 6-7 friends when I was teenager. It was pretty swell man.
Now I haven't talked to anyone in two months.:^)
>Have gf who I met through an /r9k/ Skype thread
>Been together for over a year at this point
>Past month and a half as been hard, tons of arguing, yelling, etc
>A few days ago I got in contact with another girl through a mutual friend of ours
>Been talking constantly
>We hung out earlier today
>I got feelings for her, butterflies when I see her
>Texting, calling each other cute
>Basically flirting with another girl while I've been in a relationship for 14 months
What the fuck do I do. I never thought I'd be in this position. I can't tell if I genuinely like this girl or I just want to fuck her brains out.
Fuck.
This is awful.
>>29684690
Glad you feel better, buddy.
Yep, your mom sounds like a very toxic person. Please don't let her affect you too much, people like her tend to drag you down very fast.
You don't deserve a horrible life and once again, I hope everything goes well for you!
>>29684784
I have almost no family. My mother is a cokehead that left when I was seven years old, my half-brother is a scumbag drug dealer who is currently on the run from the cops, and I was separated from him when my mom left at age 7 when he went to live with his dad, my dad left before I was 2 months old.
feels bad
>>29684905
Well what's your life like currently? Sure it sucks not having a mother or father around but from the sounds of things, you're better off without them.
I'm lonely as fuck.
I'm a trans faggot that should be shot, I've tried to kill myself like twice, nobody, not even the health services, have tried to help me.
To top it all off, I have no money, no friends, and everything is falling apart.
I have a 9-6 job, but so far it's soul-crushing, googling for a living.
I have nothing to live for...
>>29680612
I very much need a pupper
>>29680777
Same here, I got caught with drugs and I can't leave the country for the next 8 years. I don't think I'll make it to 33.
>>29684970
I'm sorry to hear about that anon. Would you like someone to talk to?
>>29685060
sure, it's 2am and I should probably sleep, but I don't have to work tomorrow. yay.
I have no friends, no self esteem, and I'm becoming more paranoid by the day
I wish I was close with someone, but I'm so terrified of people
>>29684952
I have no idea who I want to be
I'm scared and want to stay here forever
I just want to feel love, warmth, goodness, instead of cold abyss
>>29684970
Sorry anon, but I must ask. What is this googling job? I'm tired of being the offices printer fuccboi. Is it usually minimum wage at least?
>>29685158
I'm a threat intelligence analyst.
It's fancy working for "I read blogs about security and then the company sells it for extortionate amounts"
It pays... eh. Well for entry-level.
>tfw /r9k/ has turned into such a shithole that a feels thread is the best thread in months
>>29684998
pic related
>>29685180
wording*
>>29684702
If you haven't paid for anything just cancel. No reason to spend a prolonged amount of time with a bunch of fuckers who don't truly want you around.
>>29683567
hi friend i'm here to reply back.
i lost my friends. don't know what to do now. i'll soon to be going back to work part time. i hated it there but once i get into a different department it would be better.
i also feel like i'm retarted. my mom claims i was tested when i was a kid.
>>29684320
As someone who was physically and verbally abused as a child it helps immensely to talk about with a support group of other abuse victims in that you are able to talk about your experiences with people who understand. I believe in you anon, we all do.
Shouldn't parents want their kids to improve their lives and be independent?
>>29685799
not if they're afraid of being alone or not having meaning anymore.
my mother sabotages me all the time because she has nothing else in her life.
>>29685263
I mean I wouldn't say he should shit on everyone because the girlfriend is a bitch.
I mean if one of my friends don't show up to something a few others do I assume they had plans or some shit, I would believe the girlfriend lying is just her own thing about being a selective cunt who she allows around her boyfriend. I know quite a few girls who are like that, they will only allowed girlfriend approved friends like a big smelly cunt.
>>29680582
i fell hard for the wagecuck meme guys
i am so tired monday through friday that it's all i can do to eat some crackers and fall asleep in front of the tv
fml
>tfw looking maybe for a job
>most likely gonna be in retail
fuck
>mfw my first kiss was a stage kiss
>mfw I felt a warmness inside of me each time it happened, despite my nervousness
>mfw I feel this even though it was an act
>mfw I had to put that poor girl through the pain of kissing me
I know i'll never feel that same warmness of affection again because I'm a socially retarded dipshit. It fills me with despair.
>never felt >tfw no gf
>never really cared for having a girlfriend, happy with having close friends and hanging out with them
>have two best bros, V and A
>A's had girlfriends in high school, but we weren't close enough to have it bother me
>go over to V's place, known him for over a decade, we've always been socially awkward comrades
>talk for about five hours straight, he suddenly brings up the fact that he has a gf
>spend the rest of the time that i'm with him thinking that i won't have anyone to hang out with anymore cause V's found himself a gf
>A's been talking about finding himself a girl too
>tfw i'll probably be the only one between the three of us whose left alone
I'm really fucking scared guys, I don't want to be alone.
>>29680582
Mom refuses to buy me any more vidya
>>29684970
I'm a bit lonely too, anon, so let's talk a bit:
How was your day?
>>29686938
i feel bad for you bro
>>29686986
Geez, that must suck. My mom is buying me more vidya cause steam sale.
>>29681099
>Were I more emotionally vulnerable I'd probably be diagnosed with a depression.
I know this feel bro
I'm so bad at making friends. Everyone around is getting along with each other and I get the sensation that they all hate me. I just can't bond with anyone over anything. I feel so detached from everything. Can't ever think of something to discuss about/don't know how to play with people.
>>29681099
>meanwhile i am posting on a mongolian moving pictures discussion forum
don't make it seem obscure and useless, we'll always be here for you.i will, anyway.
>>29687127
>I feel so detached from everything
I know that feel. Even when I'm in a group of friends I feel I'm not part of the circle.
>>29684865
listen me up senpai
if you think that your current relationship is going hard just finish that.
It's only about to go worse anyways. I've seen this shit happen lots of times.
If you dont have mutual friends with your current girlfriend or any other thing that leashes you to her, just finish that toxic relathionship.
>>29684594
You are the person i want to become
>work at a warehouse dispatching
>everyone socializes and knows each other and has a fun remark to make whenever they walk across someone else... except me.
>I'm the outcast at my workplace.
>when people did try socializing with me I could never come up with a response. basically just answer yes or no
>can only carry out a small convo when in the company of 1 person i know well in and out.
I think my issue is that I'm not necessarily honest with how much I really know about things. I look into video games but I'm no expert. I look into tech but am no expert. Look into a lot of different things but never reach a good understanding of anything so never have enough to talk about. and I'm too embarrass to talk about my social life because it's pretty fucking pathetic. I'm a loser basically that's why I guess I'm just too afraid to talk to people.
>>29680582
>Live with cousin I'm secretly in love with
>Be a neet/ awkward fuck
>I think she hates me deep inside, she won't talk to me for days for some reason, but she's very nice with everyone around her.
>She'll avoid at all cost any type of interaction with me, and if I try to talk to her, she'll just give me one-liners, and the conversation will end there.
>Have to interact with her every single day, cause we work for one of our aunts.
>don't know how to drive, so she's the driver, awkward silence for like 20 mins till' we arrive.
>get jealous/angry when she talks to dudes/go to parties.
Pls kill me.
>>29687150
I have 1 friend that we chat all the time. Do things together often like hit the gym and go to teh beach and to bars out occassionally. When we finally get there, there isn't anything to talk about. I think the only thing that keeps us close is through what we discuss via text messages because its easier to share things that are personal. However when we're in public and have to be aware of what others might think of if they overhear, the convo stops. When he meets up with his other friends then he nonstop just chats with them. I've overheard him discuss semi personal things with other people and its a bit embarrassing but other people don't care too much. I'm the quiet one in the group though. No one knows me. It sucks.
>>29687280
That just sucks. I have a best friend and we barely talk both online and IRL; we just play Dota on Steam and that's it.
> However when we're in public and have to be aware of what others might think of if they overhear, the convo stops
What kind of topics do you discuss with your buddy?
>>29687255
>Cousin feels
I've been feeling really shitty over my own cousin feels, but you definitely have an objectively shitty situation.
Do you think she's picked up on your feelings and doesn't like them?
>tfw I was the one to break it off with a narcissist friend after he crossed the line
>tfw I know him well enough to know its still eating him up inside because he's got the thinnest skin of any human bean I've ever known
>tfw I hope it ends in a divorce for him so his genuinely sweet, genuinely "too good for him" wife can find someone worth her love
Sorry about cutting you loose, old sport, but you were literally the only human being I've ever known who couldn't meet my minimum standards for friendship.
Do you realize how pathetic that is?
Do you realize that even just one compliment or expression of gratitude would have kept me around?
Do you realize that you have everything I want (a house, a wife thats CRAZY for you) and I don't envy you because you're such a miserable person?
>>29687364
we bantz each other a lot. its pretty cringey. he shares with me a lot of his weight stuff like how much he's losing and stuff. and we talk about stuff we want to do like. Lets go to a club sometmie or lets go camping or something like that. honestly we never talk much about stuff i guess that's why texting works. in person you have to have a legit conversation and that's just oo much for me i guess.
>balls getting smaller
>growing tits
My life was 100% better just months ago
oh boy here comes a story for ya.
> at 19 started studying graphic design, loving every second of it
> feel confident and secure
> at the age of 21 I got my first gf, a classmate
> great student, amazing sense of humor, hard working, responsible, down to earth a 10/10 for me
> that same year on the second semester I became the president of the Design student union
> everything its amazing
> until the beggining of april
> my parents divorced, it shouldn't be that big of a deal, but they now hate their guts.
> have to listen to both of them tearing each other apart
> had a dog, the sweetest dog ever.
> after a long night of working usually at 3am I will go to see him, ha was such a wonderful fluffball
> on april I moved to an appartment
> had to give my dog away
> cried while I gave him a last hug
> fast forward to the beggining of may
> students are going nuts, the student union of law, took their building by force, demmanding answers to where our money is going
> the students of our campus (design, architecture, arts and journalism) are demanding action
> we try our best, working to solve the issues while going to classes. we go to reunions with the chancellor
> meanwhile things are not going good with the gf we don't see eachother, I work too much
> it's her birthday the 7th of may
> give her a beautiful t-shirt as a gift (she hated it)
> as the party ends, we go to bed
> we didn't kiss, she just slept
> I knew it was the end
> next morning she tells me she is asexual
> try to be comprehensive talk to her about it, see if we can workaround
> she tells me that we can have sex if I want sometimes I know she wouldn't enjoy it
> couldn't see myself doing it, still love her, she was still an amazing girl
> ask her if she enjoyed at the very least the connection we shared the two times we had sex before
> she didn't, it hit me
> all the kisses and loving words, the warm embrace, the loving caresses, all fake
> cont'd
>>29681168
Just move to Berlin, it's full off neets and all kinds of useless fucks
they will probably purged as soon as we got a proper leader again, but oh well
>>29687531
I hope this ends in a car chase in Monte Carlo.
>2 years ago
>Go on dates with girl
>Really into her
>She openly rambles on about some guy she is in love with on this one date
>Nope.jpg
>Move on and start dating over girl
>Girl reveals to me that she was really into me (?)
>Fast forward a year later
>Still really into her
>Girl and I are in a FWB kind of thing (hook up here and there)
>A few months ago she brought up us dating and how she wanted to give it a shot
>A few days later she calls it off because she "doesn't want to ruin what we got going and our friendship"
>Now painfully have to hear her talk about other guys she is talking to and going on dates with while I'm madly into her
>tfw
I plan on getting a face lift after I graduate to see if that helps at all. Probably won't.
I can't move past this until my emotions relating to the situation completely die off. I have to be able to feel absolutely nothing about it all if I want to actually get past it, otherwise it'll keep having an impact. I wish I knew how long that would take. The outcome can only be me finally getting over it and moving on. So until that time, it can only actually get worse until I finally do just stop caring, at which point it doesn't actually get better, it just ends.
This is really all it all comes to in the end? This is what it all built up to? Mistakes were made, yes, but in the end this is what the experience led to? I'm starting to ponder exactly what I was possibly meant to amount to in any aspect of life.
>>29687410
Yep, I think so, maybe she has noticed the way I look at her, I wish I just could forget about her, or at least stop feeling the way I do, or simply stop caring, the sad thing is, I think about her all day, everyday.
I'm so tired guys. It's exhausting to just breathe. I've only been disappointed in life. It's like I feel like some good shit's coming my way, but my patience has worn thin and it feels like nothing is going to happen, I'm scared of being disappointed again and at the same time I don't care. The thing I want so dearly I can't have, and it's fucking maddening. I'm a loner cause I'm tired of people disappointing me, but for some reason people are drawn toward me. If I decide to give them a chance they never fail to disappoint. I know I sound like a fucking prick but you know the sad part? My standards are low.
I'm pretty autismo. Every time I try to do anything I get left out when people feign friendliness. It's getting really frustrating, because I'm trying to pull my life together and people keep blocking me in the most condescending way possible.
>>29687531
> go home
> get drunk out of my ass
> cry like a motherfucker
> fast forward to the 10th of may
> we still talk about her asexuality, try to be comprehensive, read articles abot asexuality
> determined to keep going, I want to see her happy.
> still completely exhausted
> working till 5am almost everyday
> things are not going good with the chancellor
> 17th of may
> he closes our campus just before a big reunion with him and a huge assembly.
> nervously look for my gf, seek a hug to gain strenght, hug her I told her that I loved her her response was "good for you"
> laugh nervously
> give speech to 1400 students, scared as shit
> my gf and my friends go home while in the assembly
> I really needed them with me
> I needed them the most that day
> we take our campus, ceasing all activities as a form of protest
> stay in campus for 2 weeks, barely sleeping, doing guard duty because I couldn't sleep
> in those 2 weeks I recieved the worst backslash, calling me and my team lazy, good for nothing parasites
> rumors spread around that we are corrupt and take money from the chancellor
>half the campus hates us
> in those 2 weeks I never recieved a text or a call from the gf and my friends
> the chancellor responds, we bring our written requests
> we gave the building
> june 3rd
> my gf breaks up with me
> tells me that she doesn't love me anymore
> she was going to tell me the 17th of may
> I'm heartbroken, but I try to come up to good terms
> fast forward to today
> I still see her in classes with my old friends
> I try took past the faults and still work with them
> nothing is the same I'm completely depressed
I lost everything, my confidence, my friends, my dog, my family, I'm scared when I go to uni, I just want this semester to end.
sorry for the bad english it is not my main language
>(pic related the t-shirt the last gift I gave to my ex)
>>29688211
that's fucked anon
how have you not killed yourself yet? i know i would have
>>29688366
I've been thinking about it, but I really want to finish my career and move forward, I'm not a bad graphic designer at the very least, so I find peace in my work
>>29688211
With how Shakespearean this is, it's gotta have some resolution
>>29688455
not really, I suppose things are still happening, finals are pretty close, so students don't have the time to demand things to the student union, I still see my classmates and my ex and I try my best to stay in good terms, but is getting harder everyday.
>>29680582
The only girl I ever liked told me that I would be miserable and alone for the rest of my life. That was 3 years ago, and I remember it every day.
>>29688455
>>29688593
>>29688211
The Shirt he gave showed samurai fighting each other, just as our hero battled his insecurity and the forces of his campus.
>>29688685
wow, I never saw the connection before, but I'm no hero, heroes don't exist, only people who want to see a better world.
>>29680582
My life is worse than most people here
I sometimes browse /r9k/ and read a few posts
How am I supposed to feel when you guys have such nice lives?
>>29687791
Honesty dude, moving out the first chance you get would probably be one of the best things you can do. You don't really give yourself a chance to move on by being around her all the time and being surrounded by her things.
My cousin is a bit of an aspie so she never picks up on me liking her that way. Thank god for small mercies, I guess.
>>29688747
I apologize that my problems are trivial. I understand that they are, too. It's a result of having a very trivial and forgettable life, all the problems with such a life are trivial and minor in the grand scheme of things, too.
i feel more alone than i ever have. i don't even fit in that well here.
by now i'm pretty sure there is absolutely no one on earth that i will ever have a friendship with and i'm not sure if i even want it anymore.
people are shit and that includes majority of all of you here. i hate you shallow, superficial, retarded motherfuckers who pretend to be something you're not. drop dead.
i don't wish good things on anyone and my real dream is for the entire planet to spontaneously explode and take all of you out along with me.
go fuck yourselves.
I haven't had a friend since I was 16. I'm 20 now.
I didn't die because I wore a helmet while biking.
I was so stupid
hopelessly in love with a girl at my job
99% sure she doesn't feel the same way
oneitis sucks, drinking to feel better
>>29688828
I took about four minutes to try to understand your post, but I couldn't.
I gave up because I can't understand your last sentence and I don't know if your first sentence is a genuine apology or hurtful irony.
I'm not lying.
This is what happens when you suffer form a very severe mental disorder.
/r9k/ is full of people with happy lives.
>>29688734
That's exactly something a hero would say, listen, asshole, that was some cool shit you pulled with the college, doesn't matter if it didn't work out exactly how you wanted it to, that was an experience that most people have never had. Be proud of that.
I'm sorry about your ex-girlfriend, eventually you will get over her, just keep doing cool shit, and you'll find someone that's cool too.
Shit man I've got a lot of friends and get pussy when I want to, but I feel dead inside. Look confident to everyone but I've got no confidence at all, I love and hate myself at the same time and I don't know what to do. I'm afraid that my future fucks up because of this shit
>babyface but in a cute and kinda handsome way
>hair starts shedding
my looks depend on my hair so I am totally fucked if I ever get bald.
I barely have any confidence now so I really have no idea how I am gonna cope with this shit now.
>>29689064
Get one of those hair implants or shit like that
>>29680582
The thing that bothers me the most, is that I don't know, I just don't know what to do. I never had any goals, things just happen. Wake up, for no reason whatsoever, I don't have really anything to wake up for. If only I would've acted "normal" in certain situations and would have known what to do, things would have been much more better. But, here I am, typing this...
>>29680582
I have a good friendship with a girl I met in college last year. Like, bff's, you know. We dated for a few months at the time, but it didn't work out very well. After that, we spent a couple of months without talking to each other. Suddenly, things came back. We started to have conversation and going out.
One day, she told me that she's been dating another girl. For me, it was fine. At that time, I didn't have feelings for her but seen her as a friend, a good friend. She began to tell me everything about the relationship, like discussions, good times, worries, that kind of stuff, always asking me for advice, or just in need to have someone to listen those problems.
So, they've been dating for over a year by now, I think. Recently, I've found out that her gf is mad about me, that she doesn't trust my friend anymore, and constantly arguing with her about our friendship, and how she tells everything about the relationship to me, and about the fact that we still go out without her sometimes (a few times, she comes along).
The thing is, recently I've been thinking that maybe she is just using me to make her gf
jealousy, you know?. And don't think I like her or have any kind of feelings for her, but I still refuse to believe that, for over a year, she might me just using me...
Any opinions?
>>29688964
Do not confuse happy with "not as bad"
One does not need to be the worst off in life to live an unhappy life. Happiness is relative, different things get people down. This is a world where everyone has someone else worse off than them, it's a rule. Likewise, there is always someone better off than you, that goes for everyone. You mistake people having more fortunate circumstances as the same as them having happy lives. That is an impossibility to assume, because no one handles the same experiences the same way. Some people lose a chance and bounce back, some people lose a chance, face the impossibility and the fact it's impossible is what crushes them. Some people succumb to their own self-hatred, other people brush it off. Some people get over losing a family member just fine, other people struggle because they don't deal with death of incredibly close relatives as well.
It's all relative. No I am not saying your problems are not of concern or reason to feel down. I am saying that you feel that way precisely as proof that it's relative. That's why you can't just go and throw the word "happy" around. This is just the surface of what human emotion is.
>>29684069
Why would you just go on r9k to be mean to suicidal people? You know you're wrong, and what you're saying doesn't actually make you feel any better. Maybe the first time you typed in the words, "kill yourself" you got a smug little rush, but its not happening anymore, and now you're just wasting time
>>29684320
That's tough anon
Its good youre seeing a therapist. Youre not giving up. I hope it works out for you
The fact that you're taking proactive steps, like going to college and leaving the house, or even seeing a therapist, puts you above a lot of robots
>>29687502
See a doctor
>>29688865
Read "The Catcher in the Rye"
Its a good book and you'll relate
Also, it has the advantage for being good for different reasons as you read it at different ages
I made some poppy seed tea. It's only been 15 minutes and it's hitting me pretty fucking strong. Holy shit. Well I hope I don't overdose and die, but if I do I guess that's just the way it's gotta be. Lve and let live.
>>29689148
Don't feel bad for people that is shit, this being said
Ask her, tell her how you feel and if she fucks up, cut her up. Does she speak to you first? She wants to go out with you? Does she look suspicious or false?
>>29689165
I used to think happiness was relative back then when I could write like you did. Then I suffered from a very severe disorder that makes me unable to write a proper reply to you. I literally can't argue with you so maybe you have the right to think your arguments are right because I can't contradict you.
>>29689269
Happiness is an emotion, and it is relative. It's not about whether you can contradict me or not, happiness being an emotion is a fact. Emotions, by sheer nature, cannot be called anything other than relative.
>>29689315
You can say whatever you want and think you're right. I can't contradict you. I guess you must be happy making a claim and forcing it on me by saying it's a fact because I think of a way to argue back other.
>>29689369
Yet your passive aggressive "I guess you must be happy making a claim and forcing it on me" suggests you do have the capability to at least form an indirect argument.
You are arguing with a fact, not me. Happiness is an emotion. Even the supposed "Absolute emotions" follow the rule of relativity by person, whether said absolute emotions are absolute comes entirely from the person's overall perspective on their own life. But that is relative to the person, another person given those same "absolutes" can and usually will react differently to the circumstances.
I need to make money off the internet but I have no methods of doing so.
It's that or becoming a wagecuck.
>>29688984
thank you! have an amazing night dude!
>>29680582
>that feel when no(0) gf(s)
oldie but goodie
Moved in to an apt with a really good friend, is a girl, time passes we become closer friends. Begin to develop feelings, think I'm in love.
Getting a new place together, pretty sure she doesn't/won't feel the same way. Not sure what to do.
>>29689228
I just don't know how to ask her about that in the right way. I mean, without fucking everything up by being to rude, got it?
Answering your questions: 1)sometimes yes, sometimes no. It depends on the situation. When she wants to take something out of her chest, she comes to talk to me. Or just talk shit, about life, college, etc. 2) We like to hangout with some other friends. What I found really odd was that, last month, she invited me to a party that she'll throw at her place. Her gf will be there, and she asked me to be "friendly" with her, like treat her fine, talk to her, show that I don't have any kind of interesting in stealing her girl, if you know what I mean. 3) Not at all. At least, I don't have this impression. (sorry for bad english)
>>29689558
Just ask dumb ass.
>>29689558
I don't say this often, but be sure you can differentiate between infatuation and love. Love comes after infatuation, never before it.
>>29689476
Sell used panties
Pretend to be a girl
>been 2 years since last breakup
>keep trying to look places for someone, mostly just friends to start with
>all of the decent people i found have removed me at this point
>looking for people has become terrible, people just don't seem interesting, don't share enough in common, introverted as well and fairly shutin so i can't relate with normies/extroverts, along with beingmostly gay
i don't get how some people do it, friend can add someone from a thread and within a week they're dating and doing stuff together
i'm just so tired of being alone
>>29689589
It's been quite a while now, I'd say well passed infatuation. I'm finishing up a 2nd degree at uni, not really sure what to do with my life at this point. I'm concerned that I just won't be good enough or couldn't make her happy. I'm not really sure if it's self loathing at this point or trying to be realistic.
I will be forever waiting for something good to happen to me rather than making something good happen to me.
>>29689739
>I'm concerned that I just won't be good enough or couldn't make her happy. I'm not really sure if it's self loathing at this point or trying to be realistic.
Let me speak from experience, to maybe help you avoid a mistake that could worsen that self-loathing. Let her make that decision, whether you're good enough and can make her happy. Not your own thoughts
>>29689454
I can barely think, but clearly, I can tell you are a very immature person because you talk about complicated things about life even though you don't know widely known things such as the fact that mental disorders can make people extremely easily get annoyed. I know I sound very aggressive but this is what happens you have a severe mental disorder. I can also tell you are immature because you keep forcing your opinion on me by saying "it's a fact" which is just your opinion. I tell you I can't argue and you keep having fun trying to argue back because I can't reply and you want to beat me down verbally.
It's like you are a normie and don't give a care about how I feel and just want to beat me at an argument. I'm sorry but I think that as I thought about most people here, you are one of many disgusting people with happy lives who don't know what it means to be unhappy and who can't empathize with people who suffer. I hate people like who barely have any life experience but talk to people who suffer from severe mental disorders thinking they think and feel the same as you do. I know I am very aggressive but you talking like I do it on purpose and talking to me like I am a fine person who can think and argue normally and who is lying because you don't know anything about mental disorders annoys me. I'm going to sleep, I don't want to waste time talking with someone insensitive. I regret my youth when I used to be like you and attack people in pain because I didn't know my words could have much more impact than I thought. I don't wish good night to pricks.
>ex announced today she's getting married
>he's like me in almost every way
>I still think about her all the time
>still have a bottle of her perfume in my room, that I'd bought for her not long before we broke up
>sprayed some of it on a pillow earlier and cuddled with it, imagining it was her
At least I found a place that will fix my old DS Lite for cheap. Gonna drop it off on Tuesday on my way to work.
>>29689454
It was the last time I waste 20 mins writing a post to a prick. I wish you get my mental disorder and experience with your own brain how it feels to need several minutes to write a single line
I wish you get unhappiness and even die, people like you don't deserve to live.
>>29689854
>I can tell you are a very immature person
You are the person claiming happiness is not relative, and being the person who posts in a thread saying people who are down live happy lives without knowing their own issues.
Knock off the arrogance. You've yet to be given an argument, you were told what is a fact, this is something you could use a dictionary for if you truly needed a reminder, or google and look up emotions. This is not an argument, you are not arguing anything, you literally threw out insults in your big wall of text.
>Like you are a normie
You literally just undermined everyone else's life experiences to call them happy just because you are not. Do not be a hypocrite
>>29689794
What would that something good be?
>>29680582
I don't think I can feel anymore.
>>29689816
Do you mean to say that I should tell her and then see what she thinks as to whether or not I'd be good enough for her ?
>>29680582
I have strong feelings for her
>she has none what so ever for me
>I'm a 330 lb autistic man child
>i have greying hair
>stomach ulcers
>chronic depression
>I hate going outside
>I have a job I hate...
>>29689975
You should act on your feelings, and let what happens happen. You said you're certain it's beyond infatuation, correct? At the point of infatuation, you should have considered making a move, but it's gone beyond that as far as you can tell. There is absolutely no reason for you not to try. You're holding yourself back due to a concern that she should be the judge of.
Don't make the mistake of listening to an insecurity. You really will hate yourself if you don't at least listen to how you feel
>>29690006
Start out small with the changes man. losing weight will help a lot of the physical stuff
> mom's been mentally unstable ever since i was born
> grew up while being called an useless piece of shit
> dad was never home because work
> been beated up on regular basis by mother
> people on my classroom hated me because reasons
> befriend one guy
> befriend othre 3 guys
> "maybe my life will get better"
> mother had a cerebrovascular accident
> only one to keep her company
> still being treated like shit but i didn't care, she was my mother
> she gets better
> life seems to get better again
> nope.jpg
> another cerebrovascular accident
> can't do anything this time
> been hating myself ever since
> tried to kill myself but too scared to do it
> moved with my father far away from my only friends
> started writing stories and songs
> dad asks me why do i write such sad lyrics
> "dont know, maybe i just like writing this or maybe i just have a horrible depresion that no-one knows"
> he thinks it's a joke
> it is not
Right now?
Everything...
I just ate peanut butter on a banana and fapped to a chick's sexy ass. I'm not depressed but I'm not really happy either. Because even if food tastes good, or fapping feels nice, my life is still hollow and it always will be.
>>29690030
I think you're right. Thanks for the sound advice. I need to just make it happen and instead of just holding back my feelings for another year.
>>29682263
hue needs new pics
>>29690079
Good luck. Don't make the mistake of letting insecurity get the better of you. I wish you the best
>tfw you don't remember what it's like to be happy
>tfw you don't remember what it's like to cry
>why are emotions so hard /r9k/
>>29682329
OHHOHOO THIS ONE HIT ME FUCKING HARD
>>29690104
I know that feel. I mostly just feel a vague sense of loss, and emptiness. Like somebody took a piece of my heart away or something.
Unhappy with weight. Cut gym back to two times a week, and getting a better control on my diet. Trying to hit sub 2k every day.
I love my cat, he is my best friend.
I slowly see him settle down into middle age and realize we may not have much time left together.
>>29683867
i hope you get better anon. i love you
>Dad was diagnosed with cancer, had a pretty serious heart attack 5 months ago
>Mother is severely depressed ever since her mother died
>Sister has tons of daddy issues, has attempted suicide a couple of times, is really pretty but batshit insane, can't control her temper, thus is always lonely
>Other sister went into the career path she loved and now is poor cause no jobs
>Everyone is super smart, even me
>I'm a lazy sarcastic asshole with no friends
>Fat
>Acne
And yet people still talk to me and even ask me to go out with them to clubs and shit, to parties and cookouts, and I refuse to go, for fear of not being liked there, despite them inviting me.
I feel like I'd just be awkward and wouldn't fit, so even though I want to go, I don't. This guy is always telling me stuff like " come hang out with me and my friends dude, I'll get you laid I promise," while at work. But I pussy out and never do it.
Never had sex either. Pretended to go to college for 2 years but didn't actually go. FML.
I got stood up this weekend. Feels really bad.
>>29690330
Why not just get multiple different kinds of pets. Like why not raise a pack of gerbils? They make cool burrows and shit if you drop the money to pimp their cage out. Rats are great pets too, but they are fragile unlike stacies vagina that can take the football team in it. Plus, mice/rats/gerbils etc all have a fairly short lifespan. Might help you get over the intransigence of life. Or get a bearded dragon and enjoy him perching on your shoulder as you masturbate.
>>29681477
they don't and no one does
>>29680582
>have had nightmares every night since I was a small child
>not some pansy-ass, running from a monster kind of nightmares
>skin getting peeled off of me while I'm still alive, fucking corpses, screaming-eyeless-babies eating fetuses kind of nightmares
>go to bed early, nice and happy, had a great day for the first time in years and years
>almost instantly start having pants-shittingly terrifying nightmares that get seared into my eyes and ears
>wake up six hours later soaking wet from sweat, out of breath, screaming
>it's only 2AM
>no hope of getting sleep for awhile again
I fucking hate this so goddamn fucking much
>>29680730
I actually managed to get a date with a person like this. I had finally concurred the friend zone. We were dating. Then, one day all of a sudden, I get a message like this:
>we need to talk. I'm not really into dating right now, can we just be friends
Sucks man.
>>29680982
This is me, but with brown girls. They bullied me really badly, and the thing about girls bullying you is that all the normie dudes join in as well to get their attention. I became the biggest loser in grade aor all the years in middle school. Even the girl I had a crush on, who I barely ever even spoke to one day just randomly called me a ugly fuck. Shit hurt man
Only attracted to white and Japanese women now.
>>29687531
>>29688211
I would've went insane.
>be lv 22 KHV NEET
ok
>get hired by family into comfy IT job
ok
>work from home
ok
>get promoted after one year
ok
>parents asked why I stopped going out when I got job
ok
>upgrade CPU
ok
>upgrade GPU
ok
>upgrade fucking everything and buy a $1000 HTC Vive (virtual reality)
ok
>binge buy like $400 of games during current Steam sale
ok
>don't feel like playing video games or watching anime at all anymore
ok
>parents ask if I even plan on ever moving out after dropping so much cash on hardware and vidya
ok
>parents ask if I even have friends anymore
ok
>parents ask if I'm ever going back to school
ok
>meet up with friends for first time in forever (8-12 months)
ok
>leave within 40 minutes without saying a word
ok
>wanted to go Japan for all my life, now have money to do so, don't want to go anymore
ok
>gained 30 lbs in one year off ordering so much food and eating out at restaurants
ok
>kids screaming during the day and niggers playing trap from their cars at night outside my house
ok
>dad literally screams and throws wrenches at me when I'm apathetic about whatever car job I'm helping him with
ok
>those things that used to piss me the fuck off don't bother me in the slightest anymore
ok
>have money to finally move out of my shit town into the local big city where my friends are
ok
Yepp. I have a 4K monitor, GTX 1080, Vive, bought Total Warhammer, Dark Souls III, Hearts of Iron IV, Overwatch, have literally not even launched any of those games. Torrented 50GB of anime in June and did not watch a single episode. Didn't even use my Vive for real once. I paid four months' of car insurance and didn't drive anywhere during that time. I don't give a fuck anymore.
Money doesn't fucking mean shit when you're already dead. Fuck friends and family too, nobody really needs them to live in the physical sense i guess. I'm just watching numbers go up in my account. I only give a shit about alcohol, but if that disappeared tomorrow I'd be fine too I guess
>>29684690
Holy shit that looks just like my cat. He passed away awhile back and I still miss the fluffy bastard
>>29681343
she could be dead.
I fucked up last year, bad. Had a mental breakdown, and managed to lose my job, my car, my apartment, dropped out of college, almost died and worst of all, severed most of my friendships with people who I once saw myself growing old with. I had to move back in with my super dysfunctional family, have bounced between several shit jobs since then, and now I have maybe one or two friends who stuck it out with me. It's amazing just how quickly you can go having a decent life, to rock bottom.
I'm not a robot, I have a gf and Im joining the military. If anything I'm a failed normie, I just lurk here out of some morbid curiosity, and to remind myself that it could always be worse. But you guys reveal a much darker part of society and the human condition that no one really talks about. If anything thiugh, I think you guys are on to something.
>>29680609
You might paradoxically feel better when/if you actually go. You can always off yourself later if not; worth at least trying first.
>>29680582
Probable impending business failure due to economic forces far larger than we are. Unclear. Planning to fight it out a bit longer; at least it's not my money and they said to go ahead. Gradual erosion of ties to old friends from college; watching many of them turn into shallow materialistic drones when we used to have genuinely interesting conversations. Surrounded by mostly dumb people because I'm not at a top university anymore. Still haven't found a solution to that after several years since graduating. Long-term gf broke up with me due to work stress. Ironically I feel a lot better after admitting that nothing really matters anymore and I can always ctb if things actually get bad. It's made it easier to talk to people, for instance, because I no longer care about rejection or shallow judgments.
>>29680708
Lolwut
Try dating other more plentiful types of Asians first to build experience
>>29680819
Get a prostitute. Save up for a good one. It should only be a few hundred bucks anyway probably.
I always told myself growing up that even though my childhood was lonely and my teenage years were wasted on depression, at least I'm smart enough to be successful as an adult.
Now I'm an adult, I really have nothing. No happy memories, no talents or skills, not much hope for the future. It's all my own fault.
>>29683597
Doctors have a super high suicide rate and if you admit to being depressed you often lose your medical license. Social expectations in the U.S. are sort of a big abstract torture chamber.
>>29684122
I am impressed. You sound like Rasputin. If you really want to go, you can use hydrogen sulfide in an enclosed space (look up the chemicals to mix), charcoal-burning for CO in an enclosed space (look up proper procedure and double up with sleeping pills), or overdose on barbiturates or strong opioids mixed with a lot of alcohol. All of those will work almost 100% of the time with approximately zero pain. If you don't actually want to die, though, then perhaps try to figure out why you feel terrible (probably perceived lack of social contact or respect; that causes depression) and see if it might be fixable.
>>29684145
Success is overrated. Try senseless hedonism for a bit.
I was contemplating what has been digging into me.
I feel like a bird in a cage. I tried to escape the cage by joining the military and move far from home but I just traded one cage to another.
I feel like I can achieve a lot more but at the same time I realize I'm not the most intelligent person. Im not an idiot but I'm no genius either. I feel extremely limited and held back.
Hate interacting with the people I know. Hate working with the people I work with.
Hate the way I look and sound. Hate the way the world is.
I wish I could be 100% apathetic to how things are but I can't help but care. I want to do good and help but I don't know how and I don't think I can.
I keep fighting through and trying to do the right thing but the world makes it hard to.
I wish I knew what to do. I wish I knew who I wanted to be and how to be it. But the more I think about things the more lost I get. So I stop thinking and just go through life.
I start to drink more and try to forget my worries. I get a brief moment where I forget. But it's brief.
I want to be a good person. I want to make a difference in the world. I realize it's all pointless. Everything is pointless.
But I want things to move forward. I want things to work. I want people to get along. I want people to care.
Life is confusing. Need to break out of this self made cage. But I don't think I can. I've overthought everything to the extent I'm starting to lose myself. I just go through life with a mask now. I'm acting. I'm not me. But then again I don't know who I am.
>>29685151
I've actually come to appreciate cold abysses. They are often lonely places though. I prefer gfs who also appreciate such places, but they are rare.
>>29682598
Try reading. It helped me to overcome boredom
>>29690506
Interesting. This happened to me once when I took a bunch of 5-HTP shortly before falling asleep. Something about high serotonin levels and dreams. They became something straight out of Saya no Uta; everything was flesh-monsters and tunneling through flesh and chemicals. For some reason it didn't bother me very much though. I'm pretty numb.
Got a long term gf that reminded me what it was like to belief in myself.
Relationship ended, and the sad part is I miss the motivation she gave me more than her. Im so weak I need someone to feed me motivation to the point that my brain doesnt even care about the emotional relationship being gone anymore its just madly scrambling for ways to motivate itself.
>have crippling low self-esteem
>Bipolar depressionl
>live with family and yet I feel like a ghos, even with friends
>confront family and try to explain myself
>"But anon, your special!"
>"you got everything!"
>"something, something, starving infants of poverty stricken continent"
>"be positive!"
>any other attempts to explain fall on deaf ears
>be embraced by stagnating solitude and oblivion
>next week, same verse same as the first.
I want off this ride Robots, I'm so damn tired.
>tfw leaving gfs house at night after huge arguement and riders on the storm comes on as the sounds of thunder start
>>29680582
>rated 38 at overwatch
>thought I was pretty good at it
>turns out I'm absolute shit
>>29684207
My tiny, metal heart hurts
>>29686848
>not kissless
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTT OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUTTTTT
YYYYOOOOUUURRRR NNNNOOOTTTT WWWWEEELLLCCOOOMMMEE HEEERREEEE
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>29693604
It's okay Anon, if you're not one of those niggers that play WM or Hanzo the entire game without switching then you will climb next season. This season is just a test anyway.
I had no human interaction aside from /r9k/ for the past 7 months.
I just want some irl company.
>you're there for her through the breakup
>you maintained your friendship throughout the 2 year relationship
>no troubles between us whatsoever
>we both like the same shit, we both can be chill and sit in a room together and just do our own thing
>I can give you the foundation you need, the reliability you want
>you can be my motivator like you have been throughout our friendship, encouraging me to try new things and being someone I can show my accomplishments to without feeling like bragging
>I know it's been a rough 6 months since the breakup. Shit sucks but I'm glad I can be there for you
>oh you have an okcupid profile now...
I think it sucks that young men like me can't act cute, or be playful in the same way a young girl can.
I'm not resenting women for having something i don't have, but i wish i knew of ways i could act cute in a way that doesn't instantly creep people out.
Because let's be honest, i have more in common with a 16 year old girl than a 26 year old man. I squeal when i see cute things, and emotional scenes in anime, hugs, giggling, teddy bears, approval, cute things, cute animals, open displays of affection. I get tearful and easily sentimental. I'm shy to approach strangers. I'm dependent.
I just feel like everyone wants a bearded macho man that they can call daddy.
All these dick size threads have ruined my mood this whole day
>>29694037
I want IRL companionship, but IRL people are too scary.
Sigh...
Hedgehog dilemma
>>29694219
know girl like this
>complains about being alone on facebook
>drinks, hangs out with her cats and watches netflix
>ask if she wants to hang out last January
>no thx
She got a DUI and lost her job, now doing some mental health stuff. Her family and mine are close so I never wanted to push the hanging out thing.
Probably dodged a bullet desu
