>34 year old man comes into the surgery
>Has been outside gardening in the sun all day
>Appears to be suffering from severe dehydration
>Wants me to give him some electrolytes and water
>Give him a lethal dose of morphine instead
Harold, damn it, this is why we revoked your medical license. You keep injecting people with lethal doses of morphine. Chill out bro.
>>29677167
>15 minutes into morphine and chill and he gives you the look
>>29677045
>shitposting this forced meme
Try again
>A 24-year-old woman presents with a fever and myalgias. She experienced brief, self-limited diarrhea 24 hours after attending a barbecue two weeks earlier. She remained asymptomatic until the day prior to presentation when she developed a fever of 39.4 C (103 F), conjunctivitis, and severe muscle pain. On physical examination she appears acutely ill and has a fever of 39.4 C. There is a diffuse maculopapular rash and generalized muscular tenderness. Several hemorrhages are noted beneath the fingernails. Admission hemogram reveals a white blood cell count of 15,000/mm3 with 25 percent eosinophils.
>Wants me to give her some antibiotics
>Give her a lethal dose of morphine instead
I want a lethal dose of morphine.
>>29678497
>Not appreciating Shipmanposting
Calm down lad.
>A 72-year-old female with no significant past medical history presents to the clinic following a an exercise-induced syncopal event occurring two days prior. She has intermittent exertional chest pains and dyspnea on exertion as well. Her physical examination reveals a III/VI late-peaking crescendo-decrescendo murmur at the right upper sternal border and a III/VI holosystolic murmur at the apex. Her S2 heart sound is very soft and her carotid upstroke is weak and delayed.
>Wants me to give her an EKG.
>Give her a lethal dose of morphine instead.
>>29677045
>12 year old boy and his 35 year old mother come into the surgery
>he broke his wrist at soccer practice
>she wants me to put a splint on his wrist
>give him a lethal dose of morphine instead
>hand her the form to sign
>she asks me for a pen
>give her a lethal dose of morphine instead
>nurse enters the room and asks me for a moment
>give her a lethal dose of morphine instead
>police are called
>they ask me for my medical license
>reach into my wallet to get it
>give them a lethal dose of morphine instead
>I'm taken into custody
>2 weeks later I'm on death row
>the jury gave me a speedy trial, and in return, I gave them lethal doses of morphine
>they ask me what I would like for me last meal
>ask for steak and eggs
>they give me a lethal dose of morphine instead
>>29678703
This was fucking brilliant
>>29678957
That rare rodge
Perfect.
>Buddha walking along the road
>give him a lethal dose of morphine
>bum asks for some change
>give him a lethal dose of morphine instead
>a light shimmers
>he is ascending
>the rapture is here
>everyone starts rising
>give them a lethal dose of morphibe instead
>>29679240
>Man passes by in the street
>Asks me to give him the time
>Give him a lethal dose or morphine instead
