Gasp! Someone fell into the swamp!
You're the only one around there.
No one can see or here you, there's even a forest around the swamp.
The sinking person can see you, (s)he even starts to shout things like "Please! Help me!" in hope of you saving him / her.
You approach this person, and then you can see that
1, He is Chad Thundercock from high school!
He had all the pussies, won all the prizes, praised by all teachers.
(Maybe he even bullied you - remember, it's a personal "test")
"H-hey Anon!" he cries. Oh shit, he remembers you "Please help, Anon!"
2, It's Stacey Thundercunt from high school!
She had all the cocks, won all the prizes, praised by all teachers.
(Maybe you even tried to date her, or simply wanted to - remember, it's a personal "test")
"H-hey Anon!" she cries. Oh shit, she remembers you "Please help, Anon!"
3, It's not even one person, but two: a random normie couple!
Maybe you even know them (it doesn't matter; just look at them) - they were always happy, having a normal, comfy life with a well-paying job, beautiful children and a bright future.
Nice clothes, nice cars, nice everything.
"Please sir!" criess one of them "Please help us, sir!"
4, It's a child - the little Normie!
He is the offspring of Chad and Stacy, the couple from high school.
He'll be the chad of the next generation - if you'll ever have a child of your own, he'll bully the shit out of him, attract all the chicks, etc.
And even if you won't have a child, this lil' guy might be your next boss. Yeah, you'll be older and wiser, but who cares, amirite? He'll have the money and the power.
"Please sir!" he cries "Please help me, sir!"
***
So: what will you do?
These are separate events, you can tell us your reactions for all these situations.
EXTRA: There's a box next to the swamp with only two of these items:
- 1 rope
- 1 gun with 1 bullet
- 1 knife
- 1 smartphone (there's a 50% chance that there's no signal)
- 1 acoustic guitar
- 2 beers
Is this even a question?
Run away saying I'll look for help, and let them die, all of them.
>>29652862
Addendum: You can also chose the same two items in the other situations, if you want to.
>>29652862
I'd use the phone in all 4 cases to avoid getting pulled into that shit. There's always the option of tying the rope around a tree and letting them pull their way out, but fuck them.
>>29652900
It's absolutely possible.
No one would ever know you were there.
Let's say it's an abandoned private property.
>tie knife to rope
>practice my rad chainwhip moves on a stationary target
>>29652934
What if there's no signal?
>rope
>phone
i would save them even if i hated them.
>>29652951
Kek.
In all four situations?
>>29652862
Save them no matter who they are. Every man has a code.
>gun
>gun
>gun and try for double
>gun
>>29652987
might do some sex stuff with stacy, but ultimatley yes
>pop a beer
>make a cheers gesture
>pop a squat
>watch
>pop second beer
>salute the dead
>piss in lake
>toss the bottles in
>leave
>>29652862
OP here.
Let's make this more interesting.
5, it's a [insert one of your hated minorities here] gangster.
Full of tattoos, jewelry and agressive facial expression.
(Yeah, maaaaybe he's a nice guy, not even a gangster and you're just racist... maaaaybe...)
He's probably dangerous... or simply an asshole.
"Yo!" he cries "Help me, bro! C'mon, man!"
It doesn't really matter who is in danger.
I would try to save anyone of them, simply to satisfy my own ego that I saved them.
I would get nothing from letting them die but could possibly benifit from saving any of them.
Chad could introduce me to his slutty sister or any other easy lay or even be a benificial friend for some time.
Stacy could reward me with pity sex or introduce me to one of her easily impressed girlfriends.
The random normie couple could be my friends or just inform the local newspaper what a hero I am and even the little brat could grant me a monetary favor from his parents.
Even if any of those do not apply, I could still draw from the immense feeling that I've saved a life and would not be ashamed if I tried and failed.
>>29652862
>rope
prioritize normie couple 3 and kid 4, indifferent to what happens to chad and stacy if they get to rope in time
>smartphone
call for help if we're stranded or something
>>29652862
>Throw the normie couple the gun
>Tell them I can only help one of them
>Play the guitar while they arfue over who should die
>Record it all with the phone and post ut on 4chan
>?
>Profit
I would throw a rope to help any of them. Saving a life is more meaningful than anything I'll probably ever do
>>29653082
Very interesting.
I like your way of thinking.
>>29653092
>they shoot you
>managed to swim to shore
>get million dollar movie and book deal for their story about encountering that crazy sadistic hacker named 4chan
>you get an unmarked grave
>>29652951
>>29653021
>>29653062
>>29653092 (although you chose 3 items, but whatever)
>>29653082
>normies
>gratitude
haha. they'll just say "that was close thanks little dude" then proceed to forget you exist.
>>29653092
you can only have 2 things you dip
Take the rope and smartphone, and this applies for any of these incidents:
First of all I make sure if the swamp is deep enough for someone to actually die in there easily.
If the swamp is not deep enough for them to die, I open the box and take the rope which I use to save them. Imagine if I were to just run away or not do anything, thinking that they would die but the swamp is too shitty they survive easily. My life would be ruined. I don't have any firearms training and am not confident enough to think I could kill them with one gunshot from a non-specified caliber, at that distance.
If the swamp is actually a serious deal, then that changes everything.
I tell them that I can't swim, so I'm not going to get in there by myself.
Then I would open the box and take out the smartphone, disregarding the other items.
I pretend to call 911 and make up a fake conversation which I can easily manage since I still have many social skills left. This will make them think that help is going to come, and they won't be able to diss me for leaving or not doing anything.
If they notice the box, I insist that it only had the smartphone inside. Ideally I would relocate it to another place where they can't see it easily, like behind a tree.
While they now have been manipulated into thinking that help is going to arrive, I "encourage" them to not give up and try to survive while professional help arrives. I however would already know that all of this is futile due to my previous analysis of the environment, and that no one is going to come.
Once he's already dead or close to death with no hope of recovery, I take the box with me and leave.
So what's the result of this? I manage to psychologically torture one or two huge normie assholes, and even kill them in an horrible way with little effort. No one will be able to link this incident to me, it's essentially the perfect crime.
>>29653090
These are separate events, Anon.
Like alternate universes.
>>29652862
Use the smartphone to film their deaths and upload the webm to 4chan.
>>29652862
Take the gun and shoot myself
>>29653082
Only realistic answer. Everything else is *unsheathes katana* tier.
You wouldn't know you were alone. It could be hidden camera, there could be someone else hearing the cries for help somewhere else.
If they miraculously got saved later or managed to get themselves up, how fun wouldn't that be for everyone who didn't save them?
>>29653215
>Use the smartphone to film their deaths and upload the webm to 4chan.
Only good answer.
>>29652862
*throws everything into the lake*
*pulls knife out*
pss, nothin personel
*fades into the forest*
>>29652862
1. Chads always respected me, but we were never friends, I have no obligation to help him in trouble and I certainly never asked one of them for help when I was in highschool.
2. I throw Stacy the smartphone of course, so she can keep her social media updated on her current status of about to be dead.
3. Save the women via the rope, use the knife to subdue her, rape her and then shoot her, let husband drown
4. If I know this kid is going to be another Chad and a dispicable human being I'm obviously letting him drown aswell.
I'll pick up the guitar, open up those beers and play while they are left to the fates I have chosen for them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsTSzWHDqks
>>29653216
Naw that'd be fun.
Imagine their faces.
"Oh, this guy will surely save me!"
BLAM!
"What the fuck?!"
>>29652965
I guess they will die?
>>29653222
Yeah, because placing a hidden camera in the middle of a fucking swamp makes so much sense. He even mentioned that no one can see or hear you in the first place. Kill yourself you fucking retard.
>>29653228
>3. Save the women via the rope, use the knife to subdue her, rape her and then shoot her, let husband drown
You can only use 2 items.
>>29653196
proud of you functioning sociopath
>>29653196
No gloating?
No evil laughter?
Hmm...
>tfw would try to save them all but would likely only be able to physically hoist out the child and mayyyyybe Stacey if she was little enough
Feels like having a functional mind.
>>29653305
With little power comes little responsibility.
>>29653248
How would you know you faggot? Are you telling me you're a normie who wouldn't think that the worst situations would happen to you? kys
>>29652862
I'd use the smartphone to record them dying. Another thing Chad wins at, this time its death.
>>29653321
Oh wait, I could tie one half of the rope to the box, make a pully around a tree limb, throw the other half to Chad, and then fill the box with Chad's weight in rocks.
>>29653296
They could potentially still hear or see me doing that, as I'm not actually able to confirm their deaths from that distance. My plan from the very start is to allow them to die while they think that they're going to be saved.
I would definitely make the smug Pepe pose at some point while I'm already far away though.
>>29653354
You little rascal, you! :D
Grab the rope and the gun. I'd tuck the gun behind my back, tie the rope to a tree to help them get out. Once they're close to pulling themselves out, I'd shoot them in the head and let them fall back into the water.
>>29653349
>you tried to tie one half of the rope to the box, make a pully around a tree limb, throw the other half to Chad, and then fill the box with Chad's weight in rocks
>your plan fails - the rope was too weak
>while Chad tried to get out of the swamp, he drowned
>terrible, slow death
>you stand there, with trembling legs, watching Chad struggling for his life
>and then it's over - he stopped moving
Now what?
>>29652862
I belligerently ask them what they're doing in my swamp.
>>29653426
Y-... You are pure... evil!
>Chad
Save. Drink beers.
>Stacy
Die bitch. Stab and shoot.
>Kid
Save
>Couple
Save.
>>29653507
I take the free gun for my trouble.
I tried my best, and that's all Jesus asks of me.
Maybe get an icecream on the ride home.
What realistically would happen in these cases:
>>29652900
Risky plan, they can get out if the swamp is not deep enough. Better take the box with you at the very least, and hope they didn't recognize you (not for 1 and 2)
>>29652934
The phone option has a good chance to fail in all of these cases, but the rope option is good. You won't use the latter so who cares. At least if they die they just die.
>>29652951
You won't be able to kill them with that, if they survive the swamp you're fucked.
>>29652998
Yeah sure this works.
>>29653021
You're fucked if you miss or if they survive the shot. Remember that they're going to be struggling all this time. And good luck for that double you talked about.
>>29653062
The same as earlier, if they get out you're fucked.
>>29653082
Another boring moralfag but this works.
>>29653092
You can't get all of these items.
>>29653215
This one is actually fun for a change, but you better still hope they don't survive.
>>29653216
This works.
>>29653226
Dumb memer.
>>29653228
The same, better hope these people don't die.
>>29653426
Pretty good, but if you miss you're fucked.
>>29653576
Works.
>>29653543
Oh boy, that was a good one
Its quite simple anons. Using my sacred katana I merge all these events into one universe, so they all happen simultaneously in front of me. As I sheath my katana I tell everyone there..."psshh... nothin personnel kids..."
The Smartphone
>Set it up against a rock, recording so the five people and myself at the edge of the swamp are in view
The gun with one bullet
>Seeing as how the child did me no wrong inherently, I'll shoot him and save him the pain of drowning
The Rope
>coil it into a padding of sorts, to make a semi-comfy seat on the ground by the edge of the swamp
The Knife and Beer
>use the knife to poke a hole in the can and opening it at the same time from the top to chug it, I chug both of the beers
>proceed to chuck the knife at the normie couple giving them the chance to kill themselves instead of drown, as they did me no wrong
The Guitar
>sit down on rope and proceed to sing Billy Joel and Bob Dylan songs like "The Times are a Changin" or "Piano Man" maybe some Elton John "I guess thats why they call it the blues"
Then I would take the recording and masturbate to it furiously while wrapping sausage links around my anal prolapse.
>>29652862
>pick gun
>shoot myself in front of them
>>29653674
Jesus.
Now that's originality.
>>29653543
>Hooow did these peeeople got into myyyy swaaamp?
>What are they even doing heeeere?
>Heeell: what are we aaaall doing heeere, in this cruuuuel world?
>There are mosquitos everywheeeere.
>My feet huuurt.
>Time is a flaaat circle... And it's toooo daaaaamn flaaaat.
>I don't even liiiiike this swamp.
Do nothing because how the fuck are you going to drown in a swamp? Swamps aren't even that fucking deep they're really just going to get wet and dirty.
I'd pick a rope and a acoustic guitar, sing science-fantasy filk songs while swinging waiting for whoever is in there to get out of the swamp.
>>29653641
I'm a pretty good shot anon. i go to the range twice a week.
>>29652862
All the Chads were nice to me so I'll pull Chad out with the rope and maybe drink a beer if that Chad was my friend.
I'll let Stacy die, and save some poor beta provider
If I can save the normies easily I will, if not then they die.
The kid can die, he wins either way.
>>29652862
Why should i save any of these people? They won't become my friends afterwards, they'll just say thanks or some shit and we'll never see each other again. Life isn't a movie.
I'll just take the beers and the guitar home, if it's free.
>>29653976
>Hey there! I don't have to save you, so I won't, ok? Can I take these beers and this guitar, by the way?
>>29654149
Those bitch ass normies won't be able to do anything to me in that situation, might as well enjoy it.
>>29653976
Take and sell the gun, and you can buy many beers.
YEH... HERE COMES AAMMOSS
Now amos moses was a cajun, he lived by himself in the swamp, he hunted alligator for livin, he just knock em in the head wit a stump
>>29654639
Reminds me of Joseph from the swamp: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5T_uxoV5FuQ
>>29654915
I guess anywhere in the world, everyone's got a little amos moses in em
>>29652862
Actual answer:
Use the rope and save them all, you fucking psychopaths.
Le funny meme answer:
Hang the child with the rope, shoot Chad in the dick with the gun and watch him bleed out, stab a knife into the smartphone, creating a thermite-like canister which I throw at Stacy, watch her melt to death, and finally play
>It Ain't Me
On the guitar as the couple slowly drowns
They maybe I'll give the beers to some homeless dude so he'll dispose of the bodies for me
>>29654639
IT AINT LEGAL HUNTIN ALLIGATOR DOWN IN THE SWAMP BOY
Use the rope and save them.
Use the smartphone to take a selfie with myself throwing up a peace sign with them in the background, fatigued and covered in mud.
Post it to my Twitter on the phone, chug one of the beers, leave the rest of the shit with them except for the gun and toodle my ass out of the woods.
Laugh about it on the way out that all outcomes are equally absurd but this one made me feel the best about myself.
>>29655113
This is the normiest shit I've ever read on this board.
Congratulations!
Also:
REEEEEEEEEEEEE!
>>29653228
>Save the women via the rope
>use the knife to subdue her, rape her and then shoot her
The fugg
>>29655190
That's how it starts...
The fever.... the rage... the feeling of powerlessness...
That turns good men... cruel.
So basically 4chan in a nutshell.
>>29655170
31 year old bald KV, but hey who said that means you have to be a dick?
>>29652862
Rolls D20 for Magic Missile
>>29655238
I wasn't perplexed over the save-then-rape, that part obviously makes sense; I was perplexed over
>use the knife to subdue her, rape her and then shoot her
When the rope and knife are already chosen, so no gun
>Securely tie the rope around a nearby tree so I don't get pulled in
>Tie acoustic guitar to the other end
>Throw them the guitar so they have something buoyant to grab onto
>If they aren't strong enough to pull themselves in, maybe help from a safe distance from the swamp
>Make sure they're okay, find a way to a phone or somebody with one.
Beta as fuck, I know, but feels better than letting somebody die who doesn't pose an actual threat to me.
>>29652862
>take gun
>shoot self
I die, and they die
>>29655447
>I die, and they die
What's the point?
geez this should be obvious to anyone, try to save them all.
>"b-but i wont get anything!"
who the fuck cares, a human life is a precious thing and if you saving them certainly won't hurt
>"t-the normies dont deserve it!"
your not some god, who are you to choose who is worthy of living. if someone needs help give it to them.
>"moralfag! get of my board reeeee"
no im just not a fucking autist still on a childs level of moral developement. in fact children would have the good will to help despite their under developed brains.
>>29655564
Ummm... ok, I guess?
Whatever floats your boat, mang.
save chad then ask to suck his dick
If he says no then rape
>>29652862
>chad
didn't get bullied by chads in school, only got bullied by one annoying pest who was failing everything and some of them actually made him shut up, give him a beer while he's sinking
>stacey
slit her throat
>couple
give them an acoustic guitar and let them sink while playing it
>kid
shoot him
>>29655564
>you saving them certainly won't hurt
The OP states >>29652862
>if you'll ever have a child of your own, he'll bully the shit out of him, attract all the chicks, etc.
>>29655564
>who are you to choose who is worthy of living
Literally the scenario in the OP makes you that person
>>29655466
>what's the point
implying
>>29655564
>you saving them certainly won't hurt
Except possibly for option 5
>>29653074
If some ISIS member were drowning I'd let him sink.
I'd save them. It's not their fault for being Chads/Stacys, and even if it was, letting them drown seems a little extreme to me.
Also if you rescue them, you can watch them being consumed with guilt if they've ever wronged you prior to this. Or at least they'll respect you in the future. If they don't, they'll look like ungrateful asses and lose popularity points. Just a theory though, I might be completely off.
>>29653641
Mfw normie shitpost thinks I'll miss a bunch of retarded normies
Drink the beer and watch them all drown.
Get the gun and shootmyself
>ask them what they're doing in my swamp
>take out the phone and put all star on full blast
>sing along to the lyrics while squatting and grunting
>proceed to watch them drown
I'd take the gun and end my worthless life
>2 beers and a rope in the box
Was I going to just drink a bit and then hang myself?
I would save all except for Stacy. Chads always left me alone but Stacy was always mean to me. I wouldn't do anything to her I would just leave.
>>29652862
I'll help them all with a rope.
Save all of them
Social status and attitude are less than skin deep, especially in situations like these
I'd save all of them because I'm not an edgy lying faggot.
>>29656980
>Was I going to just drink a bit and then hang myself?
Kek'd really hard, m8.
So pretty much this >>29656490 , right?
>>29657446
Most anons in this thread said they would save them all.
>Rope
>Smartphone
Call paramedics, toss rope to normies, and then walk into the swamp to satisfy the many-faced god
>>29652862
>see normies stuck in swamp
>hop into swamp with them so I can be normal too
>die a virgin
>>29653757
kekederino my materino
I never had a problem with normal people, I played lacrosse my sophomore and junior year in highschool, I did fuck one stacy when I was in college, if my kid got bullied, I'd bully my own kid until he beats the shit out of the bully and stops being a pussy.
all your scenarios are things the stereotypical creepy hunchback evil caricature would hate.
I just don't really care, so I would just walk away. Its not my responsibility to help other people and I'm not gonna risk myself.
I already own a few guns, a guitar and a smartphone, so I don't need anything from the box.
I'd just go home.
>>29652862
>let all drown but the child
>force child to drink beers
>smart phone
>??????
>??????
>literally profit
>>29653426
>shooting two people with one bullet
>perfect couple with an amazing life I will never get to have
>even chad and stacy knew hardships
>take rope and gun
>tell the couple ladies first, rescue the girl
>hold a gun to her head, and tie her up with the rope
>rape her in front of her husband, whisper in her ear that I want her to scream about how much better my cock is than his, typical brutal cuck humiliation shit. If she doesn't I'll shoot her and wont save her husband
>if she doesn't do it she still got raped anyways
>if she does do it, I still blow her brains out, but I'd do it after her husband died, so he would die with the feeling a robot felt every day of his life.
>>29658963
Damn nigga, that's cold!!
Save everyone with the rope.
Rape the women at knifepoint.
Beat the men to a pulp with the guitar.
Pocket the phone and drink the beer.
Hold onto the gun for when I want to kill myself eventually.
Itt: People not following the rules of the test.
>>29652862
I have to act fast, I tell him to relax so he won't sink faster, immediately make a couple knots in the rope, tie one end to the tree branch, the other end to myself and hang myself from the tree
>>29658963
best answer
in all cases, i'd throw the drowning person(s) the beers and force them to drink them or I'll shoot them
when they've downed the lager i shoot the guitar, stab the smartphone and hang myself
>>29652862
Let them die and take all everything that's in the box. If people weren't absolute shit that are greedy and fuck things up for everyone else, then I would help. But sadly that's not how the average person is. If I was in the quicksand I wouldn't want anyone saving me.
>>29658963
Damn anon that's cold. I love it.
throw the guitar to the swamp and run away
>>29653216
nice, anon.
I like it.
>>29658957
theres 4 different scenarios, fucktard.
>>29659644
Four separate scenarios. One of them has two people. One of which has two people, you literally illiterate fucktard. Are you implying that you'd take the gun twice?
>>29652862
I'd let the Chad die if he had ever done anything to me or my particular friends. Else toss rope and tell him how to float properly if he was being an idiot. Might even make a new friend that way.
Same for the Stacy.
Toss rope to the kid -- otherwise of he lived he might end up a psychopath.
Toss rope to couple and see if they fight each other. Cackle darkly.
Assistance limited to tossing rope or long branches wedged in trees so I don't get pulled in; not risking anything myself.
>>29659688
i never implied i chose the one with two people retard, this applies for chad. fuck i forget how many spergs are on r9k that you have to detail everything. must struck a nerve with you, you angry sperg.
>>29659768
Then you cannot shoot them all. In one scenario there are two people, and you only get one gun with one bullet, unless you take it twice you'll have to kill them both with one bullet you ESE asshat.
>>29659831
*You didn't say which scenario of which implies you were meaning all scenarios.
>>29659831
i wouldnt choose the gun for every scenario fucktard. holy shit man.
>chad dies (ill use the rope and gun)
>stacy dies (ill use the rope and gun)
>normie couple (ill toss the rope and then cut it with the knife to let them drown)
>id spare the kid.
>>29652862
Turn on some good music, sit my ass on the edge of wherever they're drowning and:
1.Watch
2.Watch
3.Watch
4.Watch
Anyone who thinks this is edgy is a self-righteous, deluded normie
