*Unsheaths katana*
*blocks your path*
Heh... going somewhere kiddo?
>>29635792
Yeah I am, I'm going to hell
*pulls out gun and commits suicide*
>>29635792
Huh, you could say that.
*Lunges at you with lightning speed*
*Fists go straight through your body, ripping you in 2*
*watches from the shadows taking a bite of an apple*
Amateurs...
>>29635792
>>29635816
>>29635857
*Watching from the top of a tree*
Hmm... let's see how this plays out.
>>29635792
*unsheathes katakana*
Thou must step aside.
>>29635792
*turns into half-demon form*
you'd better get out of my way before i destroy you.. don't underestimate me..
>>29635792
"You look cuter in IRL than you did on grindr"
hi guys can join this role-playing thread?
Heh, HEHE, heh... heh I'm heh, I-I'm just tryin, heheheh, tryin to *brrraapp* xd heh, i'm tryin to get heh lol, *sweatin* X) tryin, what was we talkin about? Oh yeh, right. Heh so anyway, I'm trying to get back home. I'M GOIN HOME! CLEAR A PATH YOU MOTHERFUCKER, *throws bat* CLEAR A PATH! I'M GOIN HOME!
>>29635792
*unsheathes double katanas*
*slices you in 1000s of pieces*
You sure aren't going anywhere.
>>29635799
yeah I am, I'm going to your mum
*Unsheaths cock and cums*
>>29635885
*watches you from another tree*
Hmm... interesting.
*lurks in the shadows*
>>29635995
*watches you through the rifle's scope, perfectly camouflaged with the surroundings*
Heh. He won't even know what hit him.
>>29635792
You, you! Me me Pickle Pee! Me, me Pump-a-rum!
>>29636085
*throws an apple core that hits your scope and teleports to your side taking out another apple and taking a bite*
Sloppy... You're not going to hit anything like that. He's not the one you should be aiming at anyway, there's a larger threat around.
I'd be careful if I were y'all. He might jus' use THAT ifn ya aint careful
*continues chewing on stalk of hay*
>>29636085
*blurry outline figure appears behind u, claok device* *internal thought*: ...heh, neither will u hehe, heh... *duel weld karambits*
>>29635944
pssh, nothing personnel kid, but you haven't got what it takes
*teleports you away*
>>29636138
ugh.. you're all so annoying.. disappear..
*charges up dark energy balls*
*shoots them at you and vaporizes you in a giant explosion*
less pests in the world..
>>29636085
>>29636138
>>29636127
*Watches you all through a cloaked drone's video feed from a secret bunker, hands folded menacingly*
There's a higher puppetmaster at work here...
*You are messing with the wrong man*
*Unleashes katana*
*teleports behind you*
*ZA WARUDO*
*cuts you into 1000000 pieces*
*turns his back as the pieces fall from the sky*
*nothing personel kid*
>>29635944
hehe, heh *uncontrollable heh* ur already part of it... part of our quarry, i'll give you a head start... one mississipi, two mississipi...
>>29636190
*pieces reassemble as your back is turned*
Not bad kid... But you gotta learn to finish the job..
*pulls hidden paper bomb from under fedora and blows you to the ground*
You aren't worthy of dying by my hand. Come and fight me again when you are stronger
*uses large magnet to disarm you all*
*stands facing you all with trenchcoat billowing in the wind*
heh.. not so tough now are ya...
*unzips dick*
bring it on
>>29636312
*begins sucking on penis*
hm, I've had bigger...
*uses EMP, gets equipment back*
Face me when you've grown stronger, welp
*dashes away, jumping from rooftop to rooftop*
>>29635792
yeah pal, somethin wrong?
>>29635792
>words
>Bang Bang
>Bang
or
>words
>Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang
It's a lot easier if you put that down and do what I say.
Hehehehehe... so many simpletons... like sheep waiting for the slaughter *unsheaths katana with thumb and disappear*
*echoing HEHEHEHEHEHE*
*formulates behind you and plants katana against your neck, eyss covered with fedora, smirking*
one move and your miserable odyssey ends you pathetic slug...
>>29635792
that no pump-a-rum
that no pickle-pe
*dashes in to protect you at the last second*
Kuh...
I made it... barely...
*jumps back into combat stance*
Looks like you needed some help, kiddo.
Don't worry. I'm here, now.
ooooOOOOOOOoOooOOHHHHHHH!
*red aura explodes out around me*
Alright! Let's go!
Hah!
Secret technique... lightning step!
*teleports behind you*
You may attack me..
*steps forward, ground shakes*
..but it will only make me angry
*unsheathes bowie knife, flexes- shirt rips off revealing mussels slices bare chest* ow.. I mean, hmmm....
It's your move pal..
>>29635978
You have to be 18 or older to be abIe to post on this site.
>>29636439
heh.. that's just my kage bunshin no jutsu, kid..
*teleports behind you*
*unsheathes katana, instantly cuts you in half, and resheathes it*
so weak..
>>29636189
*a shadowy form appears behind you*
"looks like your secret bunker....wasn't so secret..."
*beheads you while looking away"
"Pssh...amateur"
>>29636480
*ground rumbling*
*something huge burrowing through the ground towards you*
*loud voice*
I'D RUN IF I WERE YOU HEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHE
>>29636480
*pushes up my glasses*
Hmph.
Brute strength won't help you...
Not against me...
*teleports at super high speed*
*after images appear surrounding you*
Can you guess...
Which one is real...
>"John, where's my fucking lasagna?", said Garfield
>"Right here, Garfield!!!!"
>wait a minute...
>this isnt fucking lasagna
>it has a katana wasabi watashi spell on it
>"heh, about time you found out fat ass", replied John-sana
>"you've got a fight scheduled for monday, which I hate", said Garfield
>garfield retracts his katana claws
>garfield turns into a shogun-era samurai
>"WATASHI WA OCHINCHIN!!!!!!!!"
>tries to hit john-sama but fails
>john-sama's katana has a cock block spell
>garfield's katana claws vaporize
>"heh, you're really dumb, aren't you, garfield?", said john
>"you won't get away with this, i have top men!", replied garfield
>a pizza gets frisbeed into john's throat like a ninja star
>gets completely decapitated
>wet gargling sounds and a pool of blood
>odie walks in and says "heh, psh, he didn't even stand a chance, heh"
TO BE CONTINUED?
>>29636439
Tch, so predictable...
*activates switch hidden in my sleeve, extending several blades hidden on my body.*
>>29636529
Suck on this, ya dirty nip!
*pulls pin with teeth and tosses grenade toward you*
*hides in crater and reloads M1 Garand*
Where's our fuckin air support!?
*calls for artillery strike using 30 lb field radio*
*cheers as fighter formation flies overhead*
>>29636480
I'm sorry, but your pathetic sword is no match for my AR-15
*moves fire selector from safe to fire*
>>29635792
>>29635857
>>29635885
>>29635995
>>29636085
>*whisper* "invisibility. off?"
>*whistle at all of you*
>"I don't remember getting the evite to the party boys?"
>*grin under my fedora's shadow*
>"...heh. and I thought we were friends!"
>*pull katana out from under the back of my duster*
>*tornado spin in the air*
>*hold out katana when I reach light speed*
>*cut across you clothes with the air from my blade*
>"STEP..."
>*swing my katana diagonally*
>"...OFF!"
>*second slash makes an X on your chest*
>>29635792
>>29636543
ANTI JAP THREAD
>>29636519
>>29636523
A double team huh? *cracks knuckles* Heh, good practice I guess....
big mistake, friends... *flexes, veins rippling, growing in size*... *brrap*
...you've yet to see my true form... *POWER YELL 10 MINUTE BUILDUP*
>>29636480
Heh... I was hoping you'd say that... *pulls out throwing knives*
let's see how you like cold steel heh heh heh *jumps one hundred feet in the air and throws 4 throwing knives trapping your limbs to the wall*
heh... unlike you i have no time to hang around... come and fight me when you're ready... kid *jumps away into the night while heh'ing*
>>29636496
*coughs out blood*
heh
this was all just as planned
now you're in arms reach
*grabs your sword with one hand, still impaling me, and cuts you in half with my sword in the other*
see you in hell
>>29636586
That's it, I'll have no more of your insolence
*brandishes antique french pistol*
I'll take no pleasure in this..
fuck u mofugga we wuz dinosauws n shit fuck all yall
>>29636586
N-nani?!
His power level is rising!
I have to end this...
Before it's too late...
*raises hands to the air*
VIRGINS OF THE WORLD!
LEND ME YOUR POWER!
UUUOOOOOHHHHH!
VIRGINITY BOMB!
*walks in wielding claymore resting on pure black knights armour*
Hmph... Pityful fools! I see you have begun without me!
*Readies sword by grabbing ahold of it in two hands and pointing it at my enemies*
Wicked warriors of the east, my name is the Dark Knight Blacksurge and I will be your doom! Have at thee!!
*runs in charging while spinning dramaticly becoming a whirlwind of cold steel*
>>29636599
NANI?!
how could i be defeated by a weakling like you?!
this can't be..
this.. isn't.. happening..........
*teleports in front of you*
heh, just kidding.. that was another shadow clone.. i won't be going to hell today.
*teleports away*
>>29636629
I cannot allow you to kill my master.
*unsheaths katana*
Nothing personnel, kid.
... heh...
*resheaths katana*
just kidding..
*decapitates you with my bare hands*
It's EXTREMELY personal
>>29636651
>...A sword huh...heh...
>*teleports behind you*
>*kicks your knee hard, breaking it*
>*impales you with bare hand, crushing your armor*
>...childs play...
>>29636666
*unsheathes sword*
*turns out i was you this whole time*
uh, i guess this fight is over.. heht
*sheathes sword*
>>29636633
thax op i cum on bird he sqeek at wall
*watches battle unfold on crystal ball*
heh, they don't even know that they're falling right into my trap...
*nods at robot assassin standing to the side*
proceed with operation R-9k.
*robot disappears in a flash of movement*
>>29636738
*from viewpoint of robot assassin* HEH, HEH
COMMENCE SEQUENCE WIZARD AUTHORITY, TERMINATE WEAKLINGS *whirring and beeping*... NOTHING PERSONELL, KIDDOS..
>>29635792
Pfft, a katana? Fuck outta here, you're not worthy to face me. Step aside.
>>29636793
with my ultimate robot assassin taking care of the chaff, it's time to execute the REAL plan
*pulls out tuned staff*
*starts casting an intricate ritual*
>>29636679
*Armor flesh and bone regrows over the hole tougher than before.*
Did you think it so easy... knave?
*stabs sword through myself hitting you behind me*
*twists the blade causing us both great pain*
Have a taste... of my sufforing!
Fuck all of you for making me audibly laugh at work
*unzips dick* gets me every timeDon't stop, I love it
>>29636895
*breaks down your door*
don't even think for a second that i'll let your damn plans succeed.
it's time to pay for killing my friends, you bastard..
*unsheathes katana and infuses it with red energy*
let's go..
>>29636666
*decapitated head moves in slow motion in the air*
*my head half smirk*
heh...you don't know what you just started kiddo
*my headless body slashes off one of your arms before catching my head in mid air*
heh...now...
*puts head back on*
the fun begins!
*evil smirk and crazy eyes*
>>29637064
*arm explodes into a cloud of smoke as head and body explode into more knives*
*real body descends from the sky in slow motion*
tch, I was hoping to make this quick. Fine... now you'll get to see me at 60% power!
*reveal 2 additional sets of arms, each dual wielding katanas*
*on toilet, just took the biggest shit of my life*
*halfway stand up to observe it* hm, this could be problematic...
*it's too big to flush down without clogging*
*cracks knuckles, gets poop on thumb* you were already dead...
*fishes turd out of toilet and tosses it into air* AAAAAYYYYYYEEEEEEE REEE REEE REEE REEE REEEE REEEE
*lightning fast open hand chops faster than the eye can count* *turd chunks fall single file into the toilet* Heh, too easy...
*flushes toilet* all in a day, kid...
Pshhh all these children.... Pathetic
*teleports behind everyone*
Il wipe you all out
*runs towards the group with lightning speed*
*unsheates black demon katana*
Secret technique! earth shatter jutsu go!!
*slices through everyone*
like a knife through butter
Pshhh.....hhhh....nothing.. personnel kids......
Not bad, newbies, not bad. But watch this.
*lowers hat and smirks*
*dashes into the middle of the fray*
*extends arms outwards*
*begins to spin rapidly*
*feels cosmic disturbance*
Hmph. I knew that peace wouldn't last. Let's go see what the children have brought to show and tell this time.
*walks out of house grabbing trenchcoat on the way, stopping to coolly say over my shoulder*
This won't be long babe
*nappy chafe is the only response I get*
Teehee, not bad, boys. Not bad at all. xD HOWEVER, you puny little boys are no match for my 3P1C LE NARWHALS BACON ATTACK :3
*hides*
>>29637379
*eyes get really big*
"You're just hiding, you're not even attacking!"
>>29637379
*holds up spork*
1'm s0rry silly boy xD but I'm afraid it ends here.
*unleashes T3H P3NGU1N 0F D00M ATTACK wiping you out instantly*
Some call me Katey, katey t3h p3nguin of doom XDXDXDxd dXxdxdxxdddd
>>29637281
*My body lifts from the ground*
Is that all? I was expecting a challenge
*Unsheathes fists*
No need for weapons. Ok, lets rumble.
*Unleashes a flurry of punches*
ORAORAORAORAORAORA ORAORAORAORAORAORA
ORA!
*turns away dismissively while you rocket into a brick wall, shattering it*
Hmpf. You must defeat shen long to stand a chance. My fists have your blood of them!
>>29637154
heheheh...its been a long time since I went toe to toe against an apostle...you're getting me excited...
*rubs the bulge forming on the crotch of my leather pants*
*bulge is getting bigger and bigger*
*squeezes bulge, eyes open wide as I rip off the bulge and raise it to the air*
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
*the piece of veiny meat pulsates in my hand as it takes the form of a baseball bat made of meat*
*points the meat club at you as it starts throbbing and emitting a strange white aura*
it's time to dance!
*rushes at you at an incredibly hihg speed*
>>29637486
How foolish of you
*bloody body rises and glows red*
Pshhhh did you forget..?
*full moon in background*
The more blood I shed the stronger I become
*raises katana upwards to the sky*
This is it....kid....
BLOOD DEMON KATANA STRIKE!!!!!!
*slices through you*
Ha pathetic ...... Don't mess with me kiddo........
>>29637511
a master of the Phallic Arts, eh? i thought I exterminated the last of you years ago... Fine then! i know how to deal with your kind..
*transforms into OP's mother*
your powers are useless against me in this form!
This is what happens when you take a meme too far
>>29637590
*Blood splatters everywhere*
Hmpf. That was your last mistake
*Blood flows onto my fists creating iron blades*
SOUL CLEAVER
*Incredibly fast ninja attacks at hihg speed*
Disappear with the stroke of my blade
Fwsssh...
*Adjusts glasses so they glint completely white*
Too easy
This is literally me.
>Teleports behind you
>Attacks are
Moonsault Slash
Sonic Scythe
Sonic Boom
Tragedy Assault
Sonic Move (aka, teleports behind you)
And Judgement Sabre.
I'll only tell you all once. If you stand in my way...I will kill you!
https://youtu.be/1JT-IvFkUhA
>>29635792
*unsheathes cock*
*just sitting on the park bench stuffing trail mix into their face*
God damnit can I go one fucking day without you assholes scaring off the birds...
>>29637823
Heh it's been awhile since I had to use this ancient power
*puts two fingers together and chants*
No more mr nice guy....
*red aura rises from body*
DEMONS OF THE EAST GRANT ME YOUR POWER!
*eyes glow red and smirks*
Your not bad...kid...
*takes one swift strike with katana slicing right through you*
*licks blood off tip of katana*
But I....am better
*tips fedora to cover my eyes*
*unsheathes autism*
>>29638507
P-put it away.
>>29638507
*chucks a handful of nuts at*
Dammit take that shit somewhere else I'm trying to feed the pidgeons!
>>29638412
*Body twitches on the ground before bursting into flames*
*Reborn like phoenix*
So...I'm not the only one...with this power...
*My burning blood coats my hands while I'm surrounded by a green aura*
But I wonder...just how strong you REALLY ARE!?
*Strikes a totally badass pose while my eyes turn green*
DEMONS OF THE WEST GRANT ME YOUR STRENGTH
Now I'll show you...oblivion.
*Flash steps towards you*
*Catches katana by the blade and shatters it*
Foolish nippon. Even 1000000000000000 folds can't stop me!
*Throws the metal shards at you like a shot gun blast*
THIS WILL END IT
*Ruffles trenchcoat*
Be glad your miserable life is over...
>>29635792
this is really terrifying, it is like even the animals hate me and want to bully me and the universe is closing in around me
>>29638621
*throws pebbles at you, startling you*
*walks up behind you*
*whispers* "The darkness only grows around you"
"Better watch out kiddo"
*fades into the night*
>>29638618
Pft... It was a good attempt but don't count me out so early... I still have some tricks up my sleeve
*absorbs shards of metal inside my body*
You see this katana and I are of the same soul wavelengths
*giant glowing red blade emerges from the palm of my hand*
As a descendant of the eastern demon clan I was granted this....power...
*grabs giant blade and takes a menacing battle stance*
But you should know this already...western descendant
*blade starts to glow blood red*
BLOOD MOON SOUL STRIKER!!!
*giant energy wave speeds towards you and slices you*
Heh it was fun while it lasted
*adjusts fingerless gloves*
Il see you in hell....kiddo..
>>29636190
>>29636278
lol mind if i post these on /r/4chan?im gonna even if you say no :^)
>>29639309
Go for it you waste of skin.
*sees you come in*
Hey buddy, I think you got the wrong door.
>>29635792
Draw own sword, feint lunge, bind his katana, use my free hand to punch him in the throat, kick his weapon from him, decide wether to excecute him or not.
>>29636123
fucking retarded bird sluts
Quickly retreat into my pocket dimension before r9k destroys too much shit
>unholsters rygelflop laser pistol
"Prepare to surrender earthlings"
>kills everyone with single space bullet
Made a kik group just for this
this was a good thread. we need more threads like these
>>29639995
Yes
These and the /comfy/ threads are saving my life brehs
>>29635792
Yeah, my NEET liair, COMFY POWER ACTIVE
*Blasts you away with comfy power
*teleports into room with manga and tips fedora over my eyes and assumes defensive stance*
Heh... time to show this waifu whose the boss...
*unsheathes cock*
SHADOW DEMON LORD MASTURBATORY ATTACK!!!!
*masturbates furiously and Mom walks in*
SEMEN DEMON BOMB ATTAAAAAACK!!!!
*cums into moms face and sends her flying through every house in the neighborhood*
Heh... shouldn't have messed with me, kiddo...
Too easy..
>>29640772
*glows red all around me*
RAGE INFERNO FURY UNBOUND
*DISSAPEAR*
*Reappear behind all of u at once*
Stupid kids they don't know my secret
*unsheathes gbp drill*
*drains all of your GBP's*
*summons mummy
hehe looks like i won
Well will you look at that i did'nt even break a sweat
*fucks all of my holograms*
*I draw my bastard sword*
A bastard sword... for a bastard bird.
*the bird flies at me with its knife*
*I block with my sword and redirect the knife to the ground*
You shouldn't have done that...
*I stomp on the bird's tail feathers and kick the knife out of its mouth*
It's a mistake you won't live to regret.
*I throw down my sword and draw my flail*
*the bird struggles fruitlessly and caws in desperation*
*I slam the flail down on the bird, obliterating it*
*the camera switches to my face, which is covered in blood*
*I lick the blood off my lips*
I love the taste of victory, but...
*spits*
A weakling's blood always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
>>29635885
>>29635995
>>29636085
>>29636519
>>29636523
>>29636529
>>29636599
>>29636651
>>29636663
>>29636666
>>29636698
>>29636738
this is like watching any shounen anime ever
my sides
*reposts the internet NEET incel words that make me the most butthurt to a twitter account*
yeah I'm
*refreshes the board fifty times to see if there's anything for me to get mad at*
I do cultural... criticism
*fawns like a dog whenever a twitter forum superstar says anything remotely positive about me*
I'm like a curator
This entire thread reeks of autism
>heh... that's right, fight among yourselves
>>29641372
Embarrassing as fuck kys
>>29641341
Ironic autism is still autism.
pssh..... child's play...
>>29641394
Exactly tbqfh
>>29641328
*casts Irony no Jutsu*
Heh... Do you have any idea where I'm from?
*suddenly appears behind you with impeccable sprezzatura, with exactly the political sentiments that are correct for the occasion*
The forums, kid.
*insinuates that your aesthetic choices are those of a lower-class person*
Toughest crowd on the net. If you were from where _I_ was from...
*dexterously splits you from your peer group and begins gaslighting the shit out of you*
...you'd be fuckin' dead. You have no idea how good I am. In fact...
*avoids appearing to have a concrete opinion on anything*
...I'm not even here right now.
>>29641384
what makes it different from the rest of the autism, I thought this would be a good place for the manipulator meme
*explosions from all these fights cause my leather surcoat to billow in the wind*
*my heater shield is up, protecting my face from the dust blowing in my direction*
*with my main hand, I draw a katana and wakizashi*
*when the wind dies down, I lower my shield to reveal my glowing purple God Eye*
Heh...
*I smirk*
Room for one more?
>>29639831
Invite me nigga
>>29635792
*raises paw*
*BRRRRAAAAAPPPPPPP*
*Fucks the girl you're in love with*
pssh, nothing personell brah ;^)
>>29642211
tch, jokes on you roidfiend, i don't have time for such petty matters..
I got my harem of TES waifus on deck...
*unsheathes Hopesfire, sheathes it back*.. you're not even worth my time.. *recall spell*
>>29642327
*punches you in the face, breaks your "battlestation" and fucks your mother, regardless of her being alive or not*
THEFUQ YOU THINK YOU TALKING TO BRUH!? HUH!!?
>>29642386
*watches from distance* hehe, little did he know...
it was only my doppelganger.. *strokes Skull of Corruption*
*TCL in console, appears in front of you* Your efforts are futile, you'll never best me! How 20 INT, 20 WIL of you..
*COC to different loading cell*
>>29642518
I BROKE YOUR KEYBOARD, YOU LITTLE SHIT!
GO SHOVE THAT CATSKULL ON A BROOMSTICK YOU CALL "Skull of Corruption" UP YOUR ASS, FUCKING MONGOLOID, DO I NEED TO GET YOUR MOTHER DOWN HERE TO BEAT YOU ASWELL!!?
I'M YOUR DADDY NOW!
>>29642518
*tears through cellular wall*
*3 khz noisy bandpass filtered voice comm system from inside mech*
YOU DID THIS TO ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT
*breathes heavily through suit respirator, liquid sloshes in helmet*
I'M GOING TO REACH INTO YOUR HEAD AND PULL YOUR FUCKING BRAIN OUT
*tears loose an entire bulkhead and flings it at you*
Very well..
Feast your eyes on my bankai.
Scatter
Senbonzakura Kageyoshi
>>29642654
*sigh* *COC return* You again? I tire of your presence s'wit, begone with you!
*zaps you with newly reformed Staff of Chaos, banishing you to the realm of Mehrunes Dagon himself*
You were a fool to confront me!
>>29642672
*eyes dart over to your direction* and as for you..
*sidesteps attack, 100 athletics/speed*..even peons have their uses I suppose..
*casts perma-command spell on him* I may find use for you yet, scum..
>>29642836
*smacks you and sends you to bed crying*
We'll be sending you to military camp next week, in the meantime we'll cut off your internet.
*whips out cellphone and contacts super PAC*
Ha, you really thought you stood a chance, Dahnald? Those delegates are as good as mine.
>>29642970
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*....
*KNOCK.. KNOCK.. KNOCK.. KNOCK.. KNOCK*...
*you open front door* Sir we're here with child protection services on an anonymous tip of potential abuse of a child in your home..
*pulls out cuffs* we'd like you to come downtown with us to answer some questions
*me upstairs* heh.. nuthin personnel, "dad"...
>>29635962
Fucking died
>>29643305
FUCKING TRY ME FAGGOT! I'LL SMASH YOU AND YOUR WEAKASS DEPUTY INTO THE GROUND AND GO RAPE MY SONS FACE WITH MY FIST!
>>29643382
*taser that was preemptively pointed at you* TZZZZZZZZZZ...
*COP PILE, KNEES INTO UR BACK ETC* Got him Rick? Yeh I got him..
*escorting your bruised, half-limp body to patrol car* Let's see, we got assault on an officer "b-b-but I didn't"- SHUT THE FUCK UP DICKHEAD, assault on an officer, resisting arrest, threatening a civil servant, abuse of a minor, intimidation of a minor...
*puts u in backseat* we can keep going buddy, but I suggest you lawyer up..
*taps roof of car* *car drives off*...Nuthin personnel, civilian...
>>29643530
*chew through creatine capsule hidden in my molars*
B-BEA.... BEAST.... FUCKING..... FUCKING BEASTMODE BRUH!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZe84Ut96Bg
*flexes handcuffs apart*
*rips through the frontseats and grab the officers*
EAT BIG TO GET BIG, C'MON!!!
*eat both officers in one, big, bite*
*kick the door out of the car, hitting an innocent bystander, killing her and her baby*
*the ground cracks beneath each step I take*
YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, ANON!
>>29643530
*sudden AGS-45 cluster vaporizes three officers*
*half of a SWAT drags himself across the street by his severed arms, too dazed to realize he's dead*
*ground starts to shake*
*mech falls through the ceiling*
TRY ME FUCKING TRY ME
*chain-firing incendiary penetration charges and setting everything on fire*
FUCKING TRY ME I FUCKING DARE YOU!! DO IT!! DO FUCKING IT KILL ME FUCKING KILL ME
*walks through a twenty-foot tall wall of flame fueled by burning asphalt*
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>29643791
*take out my 4 inch, soft dick*
POO POO PEE PEE
*get a semichub*
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*tuggs and stretches cock, shoves it into my own ass*
MILK ME DADDYYYYY!!!!!!!!
>>29643864
>erping in general chat
lol noob
*teleports into the thread*
*stands infornt of everyone*
*unseathes my superior katana called bloodlust*
*deflects everyone's attacks*
Heh...
*teleports behind everyone*
...nothinn personnel weaklings.
*slashes everyone in two with one masterful swing*
*seathes katana*
The weak should fear the strong.
*slowly walks away, smiling*
Heh.... weaklings
*stops time*
You won't ... see this coming...
*goes behind everyone and kills with demon katana*
*unstops time*
Heh... no match for the strength of a demon...
>>29645286
>>29644092
>>29643791
>>29643382
>>29642836
*dashes into scene*
I SHALL SMITE THEE EVIL DOERS
*unsheaths lance*
PREPARETH TO DUEL!
*Impales all of you in one charge*
Scoffs.. nothing p'rsonal... naves
>>29645678
*gets aggroed*
HA! INFIDELS! THEY MUST BE PURIFIED!
*unsheathes mace and activates retribution aura*
*uses judgement of command*
Unworthy...
that no pump-a-rum
that no pickle-pee
>>29645762
*unsheaths duel disc*
Smirks.. you just activated my trap card
*gleefully masterbates as I watch your life points decrease to -8950*
Nothing personal.... Amateur
*acquires new weapon*
*equips shotgun*
Hah, think you can beat me, evil demons?
>>29643678
you forgot:
*breathes steroids*
>>29645898
*teleports behind you*
*types iddqd*
heh... stupid dumb fucker...
DIE
>>29635792
Is this your definition of fun motherfuckers? Looks like a cringe thread to me,nothing personel,fags.
>>29645898
*draws next card*
*smiles evily*
Looks like I just one this duel
*plays monster reborn*
*Blue eyes white power teleports behind you*
*blue eyes bits your shotgun and eats it and then impale you with his tail*
(From blue eyes' perspectuve)
Nothing personal.... mortal
>>29635792
>you're debating someone and their rebuttal is to call you a kid
>>29645848
Impressive, Mr. Bond. Impressive. But this isn't over yet.
*sends weak henchmen*
HAHAHAHA! PREPARE TO DIE!
>>29646378
*throws cars at mock speed directly into his ass, completely destroying his anus*
Scoffs.. he wasn't even worthy of dueling me. Such a lightweight. Send me someone more challenging, imbecile
>>29646442
Not bad, untermensch. But I've looked around this bunker and have found no signs of you winning this duel.
*informs you*
Better luck next time, mein fuhrer.
*hastily leaves room*
u've picked on the wrong guy
*unzips katana*
*powers up*
*hand of blood starts playing*
*rushes toward u*
*cuts through ur sword and u*
nothin personnel
>>29646535
Haha. I believe you have underestimated me. The whole time I've just been a duel hologram
*hologram disipates*
*real me appears behind you*
*unzips pants revealing a blue eyes white dragon sized cock*
*whispers in your ear*
It's time to duel
*anally rapes you while kuribo forces you to sick his hairy dick*
*your life points slowly depleting*
Nothing personal... kid
>>29646605
NU-UH! I HAD A SHIELD!
*knocks over your lunchables and runs away*
I hope you guys know you're famous on r/4chan.
Years from now, anthropologists will point to this thread as the nadir of Western civilization
>>29646745
I don't undestand these b tier threads, makes me want to quit 4chan.
>>29636738
>>29636793
Oh lawd, my sidez
>>29646715
What???
Could it be
Have I been... defeated?
How could a sniveling brat like you defeat such a genius like me?!?
*slowly disintegrates*
>>29646764
Meh, they're a huge improvement to threads worshipping camwhores.
>*unsheathes bird food*
>path unlocked
>a friend was made
>now he blocks chads only
>>29646782
Heh, better luck next time, bozo.
*looks down and realizes he too is wounded*
*collapses*
Ugh...TOSHIBA SUSHI TOYOTA HONDA SASHIMI BANZAI!
>>29646852
"I love you guys"
*unzips dick*
>>29646852
What an [original] twist!
>>29646745
this is basically what the original 4chan looked back in the days
>>29646715
*throws lightning bolt at u*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_ekugPKqFw
> the TV turns off from behind
> your father is holding the remote looking pissed
> "its f****** 1 a.m. and I have work in the morning what the f*** are you doing?"
> in old times he would have beaten you with a belt
> but you're 27 years old and he just walks away
> you've disappointed your father and family role playing your youth away
> you can hear birds awake outside already
> it dawns on you that you've already wasted another day and f***** up your sleep schedule
> you don't have a job and your parents are planning to kick you out of the house and give up on you emotionally and financially
> the clock ticks each day, and you can think about killing yourself
> police officers eventually have to force you out of the house and you have no place to go
> "nothing personal kid" says one police officer as he drives you to a homeless shelter
>>29635792
i thought i was on s4s here... only realised it was r9k when i noticed the board selector
>>29647004
*the real me enters the room slowly clapping*
Well done, officers, well done. HOWEVER. Your guns are no match for my 625 times folded naginata.
*slices their guns in half and throws smoke bomb on the floor*
*smoke clears and officers are handcuffed to each other and are dazed*
Better luck next time.
>>29635792
heh... tough luck kid.
now your gonna hav to deal with a real master
*transports you into teh shadow relm*
*throws 100000 nives at u*
too late kid...
>>29647151
*Suddenly the skies turns red and I come riding in on a t-rex with dual mounted howitzers*
My justice senses are tingling. Prepare to die wrongdoer
*spits out cigar*
>>29636363
>an emp stops a magnet
dude youve take this shitposting to a whole new level of autism
>>29647271
Don't even think about it, pal.
*puts hands on pez dispenser holder*
>>29647329
*dismounts t-rex*
Whoa man take it easy now
>>29647360
>>29647329
*steps out from behind tree*
You guys didn't think I'd just let you get all the gold between yourselves, did you?
>>29647329
It looks like we got ourselves a common enemy
>>29647415
Now you better walk yourself back behind that there tree and git before we have to use force.
>>29647453
Forgot picture.jpg
>>29635792
*grabs feathers*
BACK THE FUCK OFF!
*watches from shadow dimension*
it's all going according to plan......
*farts*
*unzips dick*
>>29647602
Gasp.. I was afraid this would happen
*opens a rift in spacetime destroying the entire universe*
>>29647453
*emerges from shadows as the two holograms disappear*
It was me, partner. It was me all along. The author of all your pain.
*henchmen surround you*
Goodbye, cowboy.
*walks back into shadows chuckling*
>>29647644
Uhh pardner did you forget that I have a t-rex with duel mounted howitzers?
*mounts t-rex and obliterates every last one of your henchmen*
*t-rex pins you down and rapes you with his genetically engineered penis making you pregnant*
Nothing personal.. pardner
>"it's personal, kid"
>*unsheathes nuke*
>>29647644
Don't worry bucko I'll let you live for now
*tips cowboy hat fedora hybrid and rides out into the sunset*
>>29647685
*le sigh*
You fell for another one of my traps. Was getting caught part of your plan?
*smirks*
>>29647733
no but this was
*t Rex Pisses on you*
>>29647751
THIS CANT BE HAPPENING! IM IN CHARGE HERE!
*stumbles back*
Friendly reminder to all that all of this is still the same scene as this >>29635920
>>29647792
Hehehe, that's where you're wrong pardner.
This is my town, I'm the law
*throws sheriff badge at you slicing your throat and catch it as it comes back like a boomerang*
Now I better not see your mangled corpse in my town again.
Yee haw!
*rides off*
>>29647852
*pulls of neck armor and tugs on lever opening a trap door beneath you*
Let's get outa here!
*legs begin to spin like paddles on a steamer as I stay in place*
*suddenly I shoot off leaving you neck high in dust*
>>29636523
holy fuck my sides, this shit made me laugh more than any of the other ones.
>>29647874
*I activate the bomb implanted in the t-rex.*
*He dies but the explosion propels me into the air and back to the surface*
*sniffle*
I never even got to tell him how much you meant to me.
I will avenge you!
*go to local general store in town and purchase a 3 headed pterodactyl with tri-mounted gatling guns and chase after you*
*pterodactyl left head rapes you*
Can someone compile this shit? This kind of thing happens once every millennia
>>29635799I've read seven books on how to play the guitar. Check this shit out, bitch.*unzips battle theme*https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WU54WpQNYic
>>29641384
pls Ieave
You think a weapon stands a chance in the face of Hokuto Shinken?
If you are a mane, you will use your fists.
*muffled Ai wo torimodose playing in the distance*
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA...AAAAWOOOOTAAAAAAAAAAA!
*HOKUTO...HYAKURETSU KEN!*
(TL note: HYAKURETSU KEN means Hundred Crackhead domo arigato mister roboto fist)
Filthy Crimineable, you are already wa mo shindeiru!
PSSSSSSHHHHIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRR
Man id just hug u and make u my friend
you think you can beat me? lets go
>>29648336
*slow clap from distance*
he yada yada... not bad kid, not bad at all.... but...
*wipes booger off nose with thumb*
can you handle the REAL thing?
*circles around you in the speed of light*
now you see me...
*following images turns to clones*
now your dead
*all clones stab you with their black katanas*
this is the technique I used to kill my own father, consider yourself fortunate....
*turns back to you and does a three finger gesture*
....bub......
*smirks*
*does a tripe backflip corckscrew*
*lands with one foot on the edge of the katana*
What, you think you can stop me?
>>29648951
*steps back*
pshhh, I am finally bested, today is your lucky day kiddo
*unsheats two handed longsword*
I will go down like my vikings ancestors
*calls upon the power of thor*
See you in valhalla pipsqueek
*uses the power of 10.000 lighting storms to annihlate both of you*
>>29645961
Sure is summer in here
Originalo
>>29635792
**Nukes site from orbit**
**Just to be sure**
the loneliness made me who you see
*unsheats katana*
the void inside me made me do this
*makes a grim smile*
you are not the first who pushes the luck against me and wont be the last
*sound of ripping skin from the horns manifesting and wings ripping throu the back*
now come and meet your maker if thats what you mortals desire
*makes a cut with the sword and creates a meteor crater*
in the end you will be grapefruit TOO MEET HIM AGAIN!
*eyes turn red*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTr8BM2Q-qY
>>29649872
best one itt tbqh
Stop it with this autistic bullshit. I'm getting a headache trying to keep up. You make me want to play final fantasy 7.
>>29649872
>in the end you will be grapefruit
>>29649872
Huh, think your tough boy. Well I got news for you.
*Unsheathes flamethrower*
It's time to turn up the heat.
>>29649926
You mean watch that shitty CGI movie that made every kid think FF7 was edgy even though they never played the original game
Threads like these cause me to literally lose my shit. I don't know why it's so funny, but it is.
>>29649964
>mfw this entire thread
*unsheathes the orinigalato commentalo*
>>29649926
I'm 32 I grow up throwing that era. Gameplay and story wise it still rivals anything today. Yeah the graphics were shitty but we can't help that.
>>29649872
this post so funny dude lmao
I was trying t reply to every post in the thread but fuck it I m too lazy to do it
*it was all an hologram*
*rapes you all in the ass*
I'M THE REAL SUPERHOKAGE!!!!!!!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
*pulls out super destructor doomblade of the dark dragondeathflight, forged in the darkest pits of your mothers vagina*
*licks blade*
*shoves blade up own asshole*
I FEEL IT IN MY BONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
MOMMY!!! MOM, MOM, MOMMY, MOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!
*starts bleeding from anus*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUURGH!!!!
*father comes in and slices off my nipples with a dull razor*
YOU FUCKING SHIT, RAPE MY FACE PLEASE CUM IN MY FACE FUCKING FACERAPE MY FUCKING WHOREMOUTH FUCK FUCK CUUUUM
*satan appears behind you and poops in your peepee*
*you get UTI's from the poopoo in your peepee*
NIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGERNIGGER
*the poopoopeepee transforms into Analwatch, the porn parody of overwatch*
TRACER IS LE ANAL WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>29635792
SATANKROKAN NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJJ
>>29649098
Nice trick kid. But It won't help you against THIS
*Uses Qi to push you into building, causing the building to collapse*
