What was the most cringe-worthy thing you've done?
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>Be me, 4 years ago, 18
>A few days after graduating highschool I get invited to a last party with my class
>Thought my beta friends from class would show up, but they didn't
>Came there with high expectations but realized pretty fast that it's gonna be a bad night
>Usual highschool campfire, only normals show up
>I have never been to a normal party before so I decided to stick around for a bit and see if anything comes out of it
>Most people there came with their bf/gf
>Sit on the side drinking some shit-tier cheap beer and observe normalfag behavior
>Some guy is playing a guitar near the fire while some girls watch, others are talking and some chads are playing soccer
>30 minutes pass just like that
>Two of the chads playing soccer come up to me
>"Hey man why are you sitting here all by youreself?"
>Feel beta as fuck as he tells me that
>Other chad replies: "Probably because he didn't came with his girlfriend"
>First chad answers: "You know what anon, I'm gonna borrow you my girlfriend for tonight. Just don't go too far on her, ok man?"
>fuck_the_what.mp3
>You can "borrow" someone's girlfriend?
>I never had a gf and I was kinda lonely so I decided to play along
>He calls his Stacey gf
>She smiles, grabs my hand and walks me to a group of about 6 people talking
>She sits and so do I
>They talk about random shit, I didn't even listen
>This goes on for like another 20 minutes
>From time to time they ask me questions, like:
>"So anon where are all your friends?"
"Oh, I don't know haha, they probably went somewhere else together and forgot to invite me."
>"What do you like to do anon?"
"Um, I work out and play the guitar and stuff."
cont.
>>29633819
>That was as you already probably guessed made up as fuck, My real hobbies include wasting time, vidya, anime, shitposting etc.
>I don't work out at all, I was actually skinnyfat back then and I knew maybe 10 guitar chords and a few partial song tabs so I can't obviously play the guitar
>"You play the guitar anon? That's cool! Can you sing as well?"
"Ah.. Maybe a bit but recently I had problems singing because I kinda overdid it"
>"Can you play us something anon? Sing too!"
"U-Uh... That's okay.. I can't really sing right now.."
>They all start gathering around me
>"Come on anon! Play something!"
>Realize I have no way of getting through this without playing something
>That guy who brought a guitar passed it to me
>Silence
>Take a deep breath
>Mind goes blank
>Decide to improvise and try to make it sound as normal as possible
>Quickly think of the most basic guitar power chords that come to my mind
>Decide on playing with just the chords F#5, A5 and G5
>Start doing some startup strums
>Decide that I'll just sing whatever comes to my mind
>Decide that the Chorus will be F#5, A5 then G5 and the verse is just F#5 and G5
>I don't remember everything I sang (it was about 4 minutes long), but I do remember the beginning of the song
>This is a shortened version of what I remember
>Take another deep breath
>Let's_Do_This.jpg
>Start playing
>After a few bars I start stuttering some words that rhyme
>Stop
>Say sorry and start over
>It goes like this:
Anon - The Autism Song
(Sounded like http://vocaroo.com/i/s1RbgQZTUrzI without distortion)
[Chorus as intro]
[Verse]
I never thought, I'm gonna be
So, so, so, so, so alone
I never thought, I'm gonna see
Myself in the dark zone
And now I think, to myself
It's amazing how much, I've grown
I listen to the sounds as I
Moan!
[Chorus]
Hey, hey, hey hey!
I moan!
Hey, hey, hey hey!
I moan alone!
Hey, hey, hey hey!
I moan!
Alone!!
[Outro]
cont
>>29633836
>Don't look up from the guitar through the song
>Finish
>Look up
>See disgusted faces
>Some people walk away
>"That was... a pretty cool song anon. How's it called?"
>"Uh.. It's "I moan alone" by... Um... Condom Cork"
>See some people pull up their phones
>Worry that they will search this on their phone and realize I lied
>Say I gotta go to the bathroom
>Leave the guitar
>Sprint sanic-fast out of there
>Go behind a tree
>Cry for like 25 minutes
>Go back
>No one's there
>Go home
>Cry again
>Don't come out of my house again for 3 months
Well I guess you learned the hard way to never tell people you play an instrument unless you know you're good. They'll demand you play for them and it's always an embarrassment. I experienced something sort of similar to this m8.
>>29633819
>>29633836
>>29633849
everything was good until you singed the moan part but aside from that you should try to be like the bo burnham of /r9k/
>>29633819
cont plz
<(0^0)>
>be me
>my oneitis likes dogs
>say "wanna go all the way"
>it's role play night
>"woof woof"
>"haha good girl"
>pull pants down
>"howlllll", says my gf
>stick it in
>whimpers
>pound it
>gf stops moving
>OH SHIT OH SHIT
>blood out of vagina
>take her to the vet
>"uh, so you fucked your dog?"
>"n-n-no"
>book it
> Middle school
> Get to class one day
> Some fucker is sitting in my seat again talking to his friend before the bell
> Ask him to get up because that's my seat
> He tells me to calm down, the bell hasn't even rung yet
> Look around for another seat near mine to chill in, they're all taken
> Just want to put my shit down in my own seat
> Ask him again to get up because it's my fucking seat and there's nowhere else to sit (he has done this for multiple days by this point)
> He says no
> I tell him to get up or I'll remove him from my seat by force
> He laughs at me
> I flip him and the chair over
> He gets out of my seat and doesn't sit there any more
It felt pretty good at first, but later I realized I was freaking out over someone sitting in a chair. That kid was still a fucker though for sitting in someone's seat and refusing to get up.
>>29633819
you graduated highschool aged 18? dude wtf I was graduation college at 18. at 19 I was in first year of uni.
what backwards ass bumfuck town you come from son? dumbass burgers man.
>>29634114
Where the hell do you live where you can graduate college at 18? Zimbabwe? Nepal? Burma where there is only 8 years of education?
>>29634199
UK, finish highschool at 16, finish college at 18
>>29633836
>I never thought, I'm gonna see
>Myself in the dark zone
>>29634199
UK m8.
high school is like 11/12 to 16 for 5yrs
6th from/ college is 17/18 for 2 yrs
then uni is like 18+ for 3 years or more
I started uni aged 18 in October and turned 19 a month later. that was in 2005
anyone still in highschool aged 18 is some sort of spastic retard.
>>29634290
>britbong gets his kicks from asserting the superiority of his educational system
do you bust into every thread like some sort of spastic retard just to do this ?
>>29633819
>>29633836
>>29633849
Ha! Fuck no.
>>29634199
if you're smart enough and disciplined enough you can skip grades brah.
>>29634322
too wrong m8
I just assumed UK system was kinda average and was surprised to read OPs post about graduation aged 18. was an intentional question not trying to boast.
stay mad tho man I don't care it's your life
>>29634114
Not him but here in Italy high school lasts 5 years so you normally graduate at 18 like in my case or even at 19 if you're born in the first half of the year.
>>29634290
So essentially you weren't in any way ahead of the person who graduated high school at 18 because British college is analogous to the last couple years of American high school.
>>29634369
>doesn't know how the rest of the world works
there's that uk education in action huh? LOL
>>29634371
is that how it works? I dunno man
>>29634290
>>29634369
British college = last years of American highschool
>>29633849
You could say you went behind the tree and... moaned alone!
>>29634051
You didn't do anything wrong here
