Who /burglar/ here
>successfully picked my first lock yesterday
>some old normiefuck was on vacation, no cameras, no secruity measures at all
>sacked 5k worth of shit
>>29630395
Are you black?
The most stealing I did was to many pretzels from the bowl.
omg anon youre so naughty!!!!
>>29630567
I really doubt he's black if he took the time to pick the lock
I was foiled last time I tried to burgle a house because the owner left his Xbox 360 by the front door, so I couldn't get in.
>stealing on first lockpick
we don't need your bs gtfo
>>29630610
do you have any muscles or just bones? was it a lead xbox 360?
Is it hard to pick locks?
>>29630619
Fignewton detected.
I really want to learn lockpicking but I'm too lazy, and also I think my chain of command would flip their shit (military).
>>29630619
>howfuckingnewcanyoupossiblybe.costanza
>>29630619
>out self as complete newfag
>wonder what gave it away
inb4
>merely pretending
>>29630610
Should've tried the windows.
>>29630619
The Xbox 360 is so bad you do a 360 and moonwalk away
>>29630720
Xboxes don't run Windows silly
>>29630395
Not sure if b8 or just stupid
I am a shoplifting king. I dont do it anymore since I have tons of neetbucks.
I can shoplift from any store, avoid smaller personal shops due to moral reason.
I recommend staying away from major malls since they got good security.
Stolen food worth atleast 3k without a doubt, with no money i still ate king sized crabs, most expensive italian cheese, whiskey. Ancient chinese salves costing 8 a pop, tons of that, and loads of batteries. Basicly anything I wanted at any time, really stocking up.
Good times, but becoming a normiefag now so I havent done it in a long time.
>>29630395
Grats! Remember to skill Novice Lockpicking. It'll make it much easier to pick shitty locks.
>>29630771
>>29630395
I'd really like to here you guys expand. I'd never risk stealing any cheap ship in real life, but I love hearing stories about it. I remember years ago there used to be some kind of stupid anarchist site I went on to that had directions on how to make bombs and shoplift and commit atm fraud, and I loved reading it.
It's extremely easy to be a burglar in where I live in.
It's a rural area in Europe with no local police station, the nearest one is about 5-10 minutes away by car and a lot of people only live in their country houses during the summer. The police passes by here a few times a day, and typically only by the main roads.
There's little gun ownership too, and no laws that protect the homeowner. People are also too carefree they sometimes don't bother locking their doors.
My village has been affected by burglars several times, typically they target the local businesses but anything goes. It's easy money and no one can do shit, if you call the police after your house gets looted they'll show up sometime, ask a few questions about the stolen items and at most, start pulling over random cars that enter or leave the village during the same day. After that they won't care.
I was targeted by a burglar once, but they literally only stole a wooden ladder of all things. It could easily have been far worse, but the best thing is that the thief was retarded enough enough to be from the same village and store the stolen ladder in a publicly visible place, he got caught and I got it back.
You don't even need to pick any locks. Just make sure that no one is in the house by the time you want to burglarize it, climb a few walls or break a window, then steal absolutely everything. Even if someone finds you and calls the police, they can pretty much do nothing. If they do call the police it will take some time for them to arrive, by that time you're already far away.
No one gets caught in the act if you act in rural areas of Europe, not even the dumbest subhuman gypsy. Doing this can earn you far more than any legit normie career, I remember a story about a group of burglars being able to steal 120k yurobucks worth of goods in 12 acts, and some are even able to burglarize ENTIRE small villages while no one cares or can do anything.
>>29630799
Are you French?
Originally
>>29630820
No, I'm from Spain so it's no wonder why this is so common.
>>29630634
All depends on the kind of lock. I can pick all the 5-pin tumbler locks i have for the doors inside my mom's house and my mom's shitty 3-pin safe with nothing but a couple paper clips in usually little more than a couple minutes each. My best method is to just wiggle one of the clips up and down frantically to lineup the pins in the lock while applying soft steady pressure to the bottom side of the lock in the direction you'd normally turn the key with the other clip. Especially fond of when the lock is installed upside down, makes it even easier
>>29630838
Oh I see, the same thing happens in southern France where carefree owners have their summer houses
>>29630858
>couple minutes
isn't it faster just to take off the fucking doornob at that point
>>29630799
But how can you tell when a house is vacant?
>>29630888
not him but the classic is to leave a newspaper on the doorstep for a day
wouldn't work against a neet though
>>29630874
Well the two upside down locks i can pick in usually under 10secs for what it counts. Practise makes perfect and im no expert
>>29630897
But what if the people in the house just dont give a shit about newspapers? I always let mine pile up
>>29630795
Well, reading the law, it states "its not illegal to put wares in your pocket, only felony to walk past the counter"
And
"loss prevention homos must actually see you put the stuff in your pocket, and must know exactly what product you put in pocket"
Guide to shoplift
>Wear clothes with good pockets
>Go into store, always buy something
>Buy milk, a pizza
>Take goods you want, expensive ham, and cheese, put in basket
>Look for a place without cameras, and low amount of people/no people
>Quickly pocket ham in your double underpants (prevents it from slipping towards leg), pocket cheese quickly, shove your hat or cap in same pocket, make the hat stick out
>Do a quick circle around store
>If you see a person near you before or after stuffing pocket, and then you go to the other end of store, and the same person is somehow there, its most likely loss prevention
I and everyone i stole with had great ability to detect loss prevention, no joke, just look them in the eye for 0.1 seconds and i knew exactly what they were. Not paranoia or something, but legit knew they were loss prevention, cant explain how i have that ability.
They can come in different shapes and forms, even 50ish old women.
>>29630913
Ring the doorbell
>>29630888
If you're from the region and know some people, you can easily know which houses are vacant or what the people living in there do. From the top of the head I can think of at least 4 or 5 houses in my area that are vacant for most of the year. At least two of them have any actual worthwhile items.
It's not that it matters because houses with active tenants get targeted often and the victims can't do shit about it.
>>29630930
But what if the people in the house almost never open the door for strangers because of social anxiety and paranoia? I know i dont.
>>29630888
A few years ago my neighbour got burgled. Earlier that day we had a guy come to our door to do some survey about whether we thought the government was fixing the economy or not. The questions seemed vague and poorly thought out, not something the average person would be able to answer nor anything a polling organisation could actually use. I didn't make the connection at the time but thinking back, I bet that guy was going door-to-door to figure out which houses were empty.
>>29630915
>its not illegal to put wares in your pocket, only felony to walk past the counter
Very interesting, i wonder how many countries that rule applies in
>>29630954
If you're that much of a pussy then you'll probably be too busy having a panic attack to call the police on Tyrone.
>>29630978
Nope, i'd shoot tyrone actually with my shotgun in seconds flat of him entering
nice confession make things easier
>>29630971
Just read it up in your country, but its very common. Obviously if you live in a 3rd world country they can probably just beat you to death since those places dont have laws.
>>29630720
>Should've tried the windows.
box 360
windows
>sounds like a microsoft shill
>tfw read up on shoplifting and carhopping and robbery and shit a lot
>never did any of it because it isn't worth the risk of getting caught
Lucrative as fuck but unless you didn't have much going for you anyway, I just don't think it's worth tainting your record.
Oh, I did steal a nice mechanical pencil from a Walmart once. I bought it a week before, but I lost it in that week, so when I went again I just took another one.
>>29631099
It's not really that lucrative when you consider that any retard with a compsci degree can legally earn 10k a month.
>>29630395
Car hopping is way easier than burglarizing homes. All you have to do is walk around casually in the dead of night in a nice quiet friendly neighborhood, going door to door in search of unlocked vehicles, grabbing anything valuable in sight. I've stolen tons of shit this way but rarely anything decent, mostly phone chargers, sunglasses, mp3 players, cd's and other mostly inexpensive bullshit. It's way lesa sketchythough and you can hit a ton of cars in a single night.
>>29631135
>set off car alarm
>whole neighborhood wakes up and you go to jail
>>29631117
But that depends on the country. If you live in a shithole like Spain then anyone with a compsi degree will earn ~15k a year starting, and that's if they get a job at all.
It's far more lucrative in that case. If you're lucky in a few runs you can earn more than in an entire year.
>>29631135
>and then a car alarm goes off and you're fucked
>>29631157
>>29631172
Not him but no one pays any attention to car alarms anymore for the most part. I watched a video of a thief setting of an alarm the owner just hit the button. It went off again and the owner just turned it off completely.
>>29631172
Normally car alarms don't go off if you only pull the car door once.
All thieves deserve to die or at the very least they should lose their hands
>>29631327
Calm down Al-Abdul Rahman Aziz
>>29631352
Hey some thieves stole my massive flatscreen tv, my coin collection, my japanese antiques, my medication and they even cleaned out my liquor cabinet, don't tell me they don't deserve to die.
>>29630395
My neighbors died within a few weeks of eachother when I was 16 or 17 (they were both really old) and we had a key to their house. I went in one night before their kids moved everything out and I could have taken all the valuable shit I wanted, but I just took some prescription meds and some booze.
I did the same for another neighbor that went away on vacation but again, only took some booze and pills. They probably would have put the pieces together if I took valuables.
Finally I broke into the neighbors behind ours house and rummaged around looking for good stuff to steal. I got in through a window they didn't lock. I couldn't find anything small and valuable and felt like I was taking a long time so I left and decided to come back later. As I was trying to get in again later, the mom was in the house. I was about halfway through the window before I noticed her and luckily got out before being seen. She saw me in the backyard but I said I was getting a ball I threw over.
>>29631327
You should move over to Mosul, seems like that would be the ideal place for you. Fucking edgy teenagers I swear.
>>29631327
You know what's really bad? People usually steal for the thrill of it. Like, they don't even really need the money, they just think it's fun. Bastards.
>>29631172
Are you a retard?
How often do you hear a car alarm going off and think "HOLY SHIT, BATMAN--A CAR'S BEING STOLEN"?
Here's a hint. Never. It's just an annoying sound that you want to stop.
Stick to what you're good at, which isn't thievery. Or better yet, get a brain and use it.
