>put fingers under ballsack, smell them
>pull asscheeks open when farting
>thrust hips to spin flaccid penis
>scat-sing to myself (eg. shooby doo bop, bee doo bee do boop)
>faff the dogs bollocks
>talk to myself in an indian accent
>wear panties i stole from friends sister
I do all of that in public you normie shite
>>29630318
>talk to myself in an Indian accent
Fuck me too I've got like 5 different voices I practice while I'm alone.
>>29630318
whenever i remember something embarrassing I say "fuck you [my name]" in a really loud voice while shaking my head or hitting the wall
>>29630318
>say but with emphasis on the b in an indian accent really loudly
Mine is worse. Try it guys I think you'll like it.
>>29630380
this, or i sing some song that's currently in my head but replace it's lyrics with "kill yourself", "i need to off myself" and such
>>29630318
>>scat-sing to myself (eg. shooby doo bop, bee doo bee do boop)
keke i do that too but in a more redneck way
>walk around the house naked
>talk to myself in a American southerner accent
>talk to myself in a British accent
>>29630318
>faff the dogs bollocks
what did you mean by this?
>whisper "wew wew wew wew wew" so it sounds like a car alarm in the distance
>pee under my legs in the shower
>whisper "ho ho ho ho" so it sounds like a dog barking in the distance
>try to look as creepy as possible in the mirror
Joaquim shouldn't you be at training?
>>29631100
>mfw your dog's sound like Santa
>watch multiple episodes of Evangelion per day
>shout slogans of the Imperium of Man (e.g. the Imperial Thoughts of the Day)
>carry around a golf club because I am afraid of spooky shit
>sing songs from Gilbert and Sullivan plays
>try to tap dance
>pretend to practice saber fencing
I only do the vanilla shit, nose picking, body scratching.
And sometimes I smell my feet, always gives me a weird nostalgic feeling for some reason, same with smelling my hands when they're clean, but thats not as weird.
>>29630318
>faff the dogs bollocks
What does this even mean?
>>29631121
m a d m a n
one of us
>>29631154
I cant unhear it now, guess ill move on to "ark ark ark"
>listen to death grips and pretend I'm mc ride on stage
>go on nonsensical monologues while cooking
>if i get frustrated at a video game I scream like a girl
>inspect my asshole in the mirror
>walk around the house making sound effects for everything I do
>stop and stare at myself in mirrors for like 15 mins
>smell my own poo-poo gas
>edge myself for hours
>act out humorous conversations or scenarios with imaginary guests
>stare into the mirror while listening music
>>29630318
>roll around on the floor
>make weird noises
>fap lying down in the shower
>talk to myself
>try to sing
>stare at myself in the mirror
>go completely still like a statue, wait for some amount of time and then burst into action
>>29630318
>>29630908
>>29631100
>>29631158
>>29631302
>>29631884
>>29632528
why you losers must to be alone to do all this shit?
the mirrors being the mst stupid
don't you have mirrors in your fucking bedrooms?
>Walk around like james bond with a silenced pistol
>take cover behind a corner and peep out with gun fingers to make sure its safe
>pretend to assassinate people through walls with machine guns or breaching charges
>talk military style to my self like just randomly start going "roger that sarge" in american accents
>make rally car noises when i'm driving my car late at night
>pretend to shoot RPGs at cars driving past my window some times, got caught by someone walking past who looked inside once so i tend not to that
>rub the rim of my asshole while imagining being a girl fingering her pussy
I should probably stop playing video games.
>>29630318
>pace around the house
>wear only underwear
>watch porn in the living room
>talk to myself with an Australian accent (it actually sounds decent if I'm shitfaced drunk)
>take naps on the floor
>Older sister just walked in on me jerking off to hentai
>Pretended like she saw nothing, asked for my help with something and left
Should i just end it all now?
>>29634265
yes.
i have to write this for it to be "original"
>>29630318
ooo ha that remind me of when I was walk in my dog ha my dog ran upstairs butt he smelled his but then licked his middle ballsack haha
>>29630318
you did what to the dog?
>>29630992
>>29631160
>>29634355
>2009+7
> not faffing the dog's bollocks
ISHYGDDT
Recite TV/video game/movie quotes I like, sometimes trying to sound like the person what said them, sometimes not.
>spout memes
>talk to myself in weird voices
>almost constantly have my dick out because its comfy
>say "THAT WAS A GOOOOD SHIT!" after taking a shit
>>29630318
>faff the dogs bollocks
Still haven't got an answer on what the fuck this means. Some sort of euphemism? You're not actually touching your dogs testicles are you???
>dance around my room
>run around on all fours for no reason
>take things apart
>pretend to have sex with the floor
>laugh for no reason
>shout random things I've seen on here like reeee
>fondle balls and place with ass
>smell my own farts
>listen to really gay music over and over
>do housework for no reason (i live with my parents)
>>29634151
>>rub the rim of my asshole while imagining being a girl fingering her pussy
Do you make porno hissing sounds when doing it?
Hey kids, its me Brian. Yep! This place really existed before Trump came into office!
>>29630318
>Chug Diet Coke
>Swallow some Mentos
>Enjoy the bloating and burps and sloshy stomach
>put underwear on my head.
>sprint around at full pace.
>pretend I'm spiderman.
Don't fucking judge me.
>>29636441
swallow them like pills, or eat the mentos?
>>29636568
Like pills
>>29636577
that sounds unpleasant, but you do you famaboo.
>>29636595It's a fetish thing...
>cook extremely unhealthy meals (20 strips of bacon,10 sausage patties, 4 chorizo links, 12 eggs, 1/2 lb. of cheese, sour cream, homemade guacamole, homemade tortillas) on purpose, just so my fat roommate can have some when he gets home and I can secretly enjoy him getting fatter, then hating himself and starving himself, only to come back to my delicous food days later
>walk up and down my stairs until my feet stop crackling
>piss in the sink downstairs
>hide things my roommate hasn't used in months, or just throw them out
>peep through my blinds and stare at my neighbor when she gets home from work
>measure my dick with household appliances
Poor roommate, not sure why I torture him so
>>29636812inflation/bloating fetish?
>>29636887Yeah. It's lower calorie than stuffing with food, since I'm trying to lose weight
>>29630318
i dress up for some famous singers (liam gallagher, eddie vedder etc.) and sing in front of the mirror
>feels good becouse noone has ever caught me
>>29630318
I cut up raw steak, pretending that I am cutting up the meat of a small dead child, and eat it, have some kids clothes I bought at Walmart, like to hid them in a box I buried in the yard, pretend to watch news stories about the abducted child, the crying parents, helping to put up flyers, a the while knowing where the non eaten parts of their baby are, sometimes I worry and look in the box hoping not to find little bones, I have chicken bones in the box right now, I worry that I really did snatch and eat a child, I keep a suitcase packed in case I have to leave town in a hurry, confusing but exciting
>scratch weird acne-esque shit from around my nostrils and sniff because I enjoy the smell for some reason
>whenever my dick is hard, I like to press against it and bend it so it hurts, but strangely feels good
>run around my house and scream at my cats for no reason
>stand on living room and kitchen tables to see myself fully in our mirrors on the wall
>pull dick out weird slot thing in boxers and walk around
>"tickle" or stimulate my chest and sides by gently gliding my fingertips over them and then scratching
And when I was a little, little kid, I used to come out into my parents living room when nobody was home, pull down my pants and scratch my asshole on the corner of our old coffee table since it was pointy.
