Lets hear of times you embarrassed yourself in front of a group.
> be me, akward 22 year old. Invited to friends apartment they just bought
> my chance to get out of my shell
> see a two people I have never met, woman and man, both have similar features, wearing glasses
> attemp to break the ice with "you guys are siblings right?"
> whole room silent
> i get a snotty look from the woman then she answered "no we are married"
> killmenow.jpeg
>"oh haha, but that didn't answer my question"
> verbal diarrhea, spaghetti everywhere
> deathly silence for what felt like an eternity. Excuse myself to the bathroom and just go home.
Top Adolf
>>29625235
that's funny I would have laughed
>>29625235
I threw up while at the dentist, but I didn't realize it was coming soon enough, so I vomited all over him.
I was sixteen. And I have horrible social anxiety, so it was even MORE embarrassing than it would have been for the average person.
I win.
>>29626278
We all have social anxiety anon iktf
>be me
>awkward 14 year old 5 years ago
>first day at mcjob
>stacy trainer explaining shit
>too busy overthinking everything to listen properly
>have to add ice to drink dispenser in front area
>think she said you have to pull it out to fill it up
>pull it and the whole bin falls out onto the ground, ice everywhere
>customers, kitchen, customer service qts all fall silent and look
>standing there with ice all around my feet, stacy comes around the corner
>"uh.. I think the ice fell out"
>went to BBQ
>didn't want to go because i had nobody to talk to
>uncle talked me into it
>tons of people there
>only person my age (18 at the time) was my cousin
>knew him well enough for a cousin that didn't live anywhere near me
>went to shake his hand
>he completely ghosted me
>what the fuck
>made me feel terrible
>go for a walk in the forest
>stumbling around trying not to have a breakdown
>cut my arm on a wire fence
>bleeding bad, can't deal with this on my own
>wonder back to the house
>don't know how to communicate that i need help
>these all basically strangers
>don't know any of the people around staring at me with the bleeding arm
>find a water spigot and try to wash the blood off
>it's still bleeding
>some guy walks over
>"what are you doing? who are you?"
>"i-i'm here for the party!" trying to make a joke
>he stands there flabbergasted
>people are gathering around us in awe
>"could you go get my uncle?" describe my uncle to him
>guy walks away and gets my uncle
>uncle runs over
>he just looks disappointed
>somebody hands him a rag
>we go to the ER and i get stitches
>he drops me off afterwards and goes back to the BBQ
why do i even bother
>>29625235
those people were idiots for not laughing at that
that was an expert save, OP. their fault for not running with it
Normies don't like those kind of jokes. They get "offended".
>>29626458
>>29625235
Both of these were funny if delivered right, I've more or less done both of these things (not exactly of course) and gotten away with people laughing... The best save for any embarrassing moment is a shit eating grin and a bit of smartass in your voice (note that smartass does not mean ass or just rambling, you have to sell it with timing.) practice telling jokes like the rest of the boys did growing up and you can get there too
>>29626795
Full on lie, I've called entire rooms full of "murmurs" complete idiots and gotten laughs
>>29626826
*normies fucking phone... Though I liked it's choice of correction
>>29626713
>"I'm here for the party"
I laughed, nice one
>dont be me
>go out drinking with some staceys and my asian friend
>hop in back of car with 3 staceys with one laying across my lap
>make some great jokes and have the staceys laughing
>feel like the nigga in charge for once, autismo receding
>go to several bars and drop major fliff on drinks, feel rich as fuck
>get too drunk, call staceys a bunch of roasties, punch my asian friend, get slapped
>kicked out of bar, walk home
>break down crying over my dads recent death, yell that I am totally alone in this world
>roastie housemate and her chad boyfriend come down and actually comfort me
>chad holds me for half and hour, just hugging me
>feel like a total faggot, but I like it
>pass out
>wake up, autismo kicks in again
>go thank roastie and chad for being nice to me
>they just finished fucking, open door naked, feel like a total fucking loser
>go out and eat ramen
>mfw I realize I am fucking cyborg loser
>>29626936
reeee normo scum
>today
>walking out the door at university
>group of chads behind me
>try to hold door open for them but suddenly decide they're too far away and it'll be awkward
>let door slam shut in their faces
>use hand that was holding the door to slick back my hair in an attempt to be casual
I'm drinking and contemplating suicide lads
>15 or so
>in class
>reading through some thing
>teacher asks me to read a paragraph
>start having a panic attack
>can't breathe
>get through the first sentence but soon lose steam
>can barely talk and just basically whimper through the rest while about to pass out
>stop
>entire class looks at me like I'm insane or something and everyone's super weirded out
>teacher says "ahh ok"
>teacher then reads out the whole paragraph himself
>go drink with friend's from high school at a house
>"LET'S PLAY JENGA!"
>oh fuck no
>only had 2 beers at this point so still have social anxiety
>starts going around the circle
>one or two people away from me
>start freaking out and having panic attack
>start shaking uncontrollably
>go to take a piece off the tower
>everyone notices my shaking hands
>"dude do you have parkinsons or something haha?"
>hand spazes out and knocks the entire thing over without everyone even having a shot yet
>"aww what the fuck man"
>>29627926
reminds me of
>"how about you, anon?"
>weren't paying attention
>teacher just asked a question
>"y-yes?"
>"anon if you were not paying attention pls don't waste my time by pretending to answer my question"
>whole class giggles
>>29627926
I have quite a few similar stories from my 8th grade year. It's horrific. At least my science teacher never reread the shit though.
>>29626458
The last line sounds very Butthead esque.
>>29626936
>go out drinking with some staceys and my asian friend
OUT
NORMAL
FAG
>>29627926
>Being too autistic to read
I understand not reading loud enough , but ''panic attack'' ?
>>29626838
>Mobile posting faggot
>Expects to be taken seriously
kek
>>29627887
That's pretty fucking alpha, my dude.
>>29628540
it's called severe social anxiety disorder
welcome to the board
>>29625235
>be me
>18
>in front of a group
>prof asks me the difference between Chemistry and Physics
>arrrrrgh
I would have laughed. Oversensitive morons.
>>29625235
>"oh haha, but that didn't answer my question"
>>29625235
Lmfao they sound pretty stuck up. I would've cracked up at that.
>>29626795
Not if Chad tells them the jokes.
>>29625235
I bet if Michael Cera said that in a movie they all would have laughed at it. Fucking normies I swear
>>29627926
>be 14 or 15
>we get to write to blackboard if we want
>try to be alpha or something
>write aggressively
>some kid who doesn't like me gives a negative comment about this
>don't get to write to blackboard in that class again even though the answer is correct and the chalk didn't break
>>29629745
and my writing was also legible
>7th grade
>Was kind of popular
>One of the Chads named Terrance took it upon himself to CONSTANTLY fuck with me and I did nothing about it
>One day I'm just chilling with my friends when Terrance comes around the hallway talking with 3 cute girls
>He starts barreling towards me at fucking sprinting speed
>Panic
>He knocks me clean on my ass, my ass crack was showing and everything
>Girls are laughing of course
>Nothing to do at that point but pull up my pants and pretend I thought it was funny too
Seriously, fuck Terrance. My only regret in life besides being a kissless virgin was not fighting that fucking faggot. I'm sure he probably would have kicked my ass but I still regret not standing up for myself.
![1458996294532s[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/hgXuSzW.jpg "1458996294532s[1].jpg")
>go out of state for my old college roommate's wedding
>at the breakfast/present opening at his parents' house the next day, after opening my gift he says "You need to visit more often"
>I reply "I will come back for your next wedding"
>I thought it was pretty fucking funny and a few people in the room had stifled laughs, but most of his relatives gave me really dirty looks
>triggered the fuck out of the bride
>he is such a cuck that he listened to her when she said he isn't allowed to talk to me anymore
Guess him being a cuck shouldn't surprise me since he married a single mom
>>29629854
I would have laughed hardily, bro. Still, it's kind of messed up you said that in response to the really nice thing that he said.
>>29629954
We made jokes like that to each other all the time and I could tell he wanted to laugh at it. I will bring it up when I toast him at his second wedding if he gets divorced and remarried.
>>29626278
oh god
this reminds me of a time at the orthodontist where I threw up but didn't wanna get it everywhere so I had to hold it in my cheeks
an assistance looked at me and said "did you throw up" and I nodded then she got a bowl and I had to spit it out
You guys are funny fucks. I would have hunted you down after your embarrassment and had a beer with you.
screw the normies
>Went to one of my bestfriends parties
>i walk into the room where her family is sitting around having some drinks
>i am one of the first guests to arrive
>they all say hello
>i fucking stand there and dont even wave or anything
>i walk out of the room
by this point i want to kill myself
>later on in the night
>her mother brings out these fucking vegan omelette things
>she offers me one but i think she wants me to hold the tray
>i sit there trying to yank the tray out of her hands while people are watching
>she says no just take one
>i take one and its fucking disgusting
>i feed it to the dog discreetly, but the fucker bites me and i yell, drawing attention to the dog almost choking on the cupcake wrapper it was in
End of the night
>i drive 2 of the qt's home, with them saying how cool and sexy it was that i was a vet nurse and that i volunteer at an animal shelter
>"You should introduce yourself saying that Anon, its super sexy"
>I pull into their street and run over a possum
>it isnt dead, but its eye is out and its twitching and shit
>i freak out and the girls are crying and shit
> i bash the fuck out of it to put it out of its misery
>A man was watching me from the dark beat a possum to death in the middle of the street
>he stands there shaking his head then goes inside
And that was my night.
How about you /b/
>>29629854
That's a funny joke, your friend and his wife sound like uptight dicks
>>29629762
ya blew it anon, forever regret not fighting that fucko
>>29626713
>Not just accepting death and peacefully bleeding out in the quiet forest, away from all normies
Baka desu
>>29630091
>and then you said "how about you /b/" on r9k
Damn dude
>>29626713
Thanks anon. In hindsight I guess it was more the stuck up crowd than anything. I always blame myself first for situations that go sideways.
...Anonymous
06/30/16(Thu)13:07:15 No.29630972
>Extremely qt Latina at work
>walk in today
>she's talking to a nog
>wave awkwardly
>"Hey anon, what's up?"
>"G-good h-how are you doing?"
>Speedwalk away
>Hear nog laughing behind me
I know it's not that much, but I'm still obsessing over it. Should I just off myself now and spare some pain?
>>29627926
I know this feel
I use to get super out of breath reading out loud.
>>29628568
>not using the superior Clover app
>>29625235
> 14 years old 4 years ago
> 8th Grade
> Been bullied by this chad but with long ass, blonde hair
> Constantly verbally and physically abused by this guy
> He has a Stacy Girlfriend with blonde hair too, perfect for each other
> also talks shit about how I will never get a girlfriend
> I thought enough was enough
> During break lunch break I walk up behind him, he was wearing a thick leather jacket
> What a jackass
> Hit him on the side of the head and seems to be knocked out
> feelsgood.jpg
> "ANON WHY DID YOU HIT STACY"
> Stacy?
> Look at Chad again
> It was Stacy.
> "What the fuck'd ya do Anon ya piece of trash"
> Oh god it's chad.
> Everything goes black for a second as he hits me with a right hook
> Bleeding from my nose and I look over to Stacy whom was being held by Chad
> " You never should have left me for this Asshole, Stacy"
> confusion.gif
> Hauled ass outta there
> Ditched school for 3 days
> When I got back I was approached by one of Stacie's friends
> She told me Stacy left Chad because she wanted to be my girlfriend because she thought I was a nice guy and felt sorry me and tried telling Chad to stop bullying me in multiple occasions
> Stacy never looks in my direction or does anything to interact with me
> Chad still bullied me and harder than before until the end of 8th grade because me left for another country
I don't know why I didn't end up shooting the school up
oh jesus christ anon
>>29631618
>>29631618
> File name
kekekerino
>>29626713
i honestly laughed at this for a full minute, thanks anon for enteraining me
