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Anonymous
2016-06-29 21:12:21 Post No. 29617380
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Anonymous
2016-06-29 21:12:21
Post No. 29617380
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>be me
>be smart kid (had to participate in high giftedness programs n shit)
>always grew up hearing "he's the brightest student I've had" and etc from teachers
>always hear "he's going to do great things" from mom
>i've been suicidal since forever
>attempted to off myself in 5th grade
>failed
>family upset
>decide not to do it again even though it is my greatest desire
>mom wants me to go to college since nobody else in family has
>I actually dont want to do anything with my life, but ok
>go to college
>pick computer programming because computers and get to sit on my ass
>never try at anything
>consistently top of class regardless
>instructors still repeating the bullshit I heard in elementary through high school
>last quarter of college comes
>have to do some bullshit online class and an unpaid internship to graduate
>k
>fail online class
>do badly on internship, but it isnt over yet so still have a chance
>retake class
>actually try to do well in class and internship
>manage to do worse
>I cant get myself out of bed until 2PM most days even though I'm awake and want to get my shit done
>pretty sure I have depression
>by now it takes everything i have to not end it all
>would do it, but still dont want to upset family
>fail college
>instructors tell me what a disappointment I am
>family tells me what a disappointment I am
>fuck you too family
So, how should I end it?
