Are those with Avoidant Personality Disorder the most likely out of all the personality disorders to be abusive?
>>29614259
I have it and I'm not abusive
I have it because I were abused. I'm unlikely to abuse because it dosent fucking feel good and the result is weak bitches like myself
If you abuse others and you're reading this pls stop
>>29614307
You weren't abused enough, attention seeking tramp.
>>29614259
Uhhhh fuck no? Not at all. Completely the opposite.
There are two dozen personality disorders.
Why would you think the most reclusive, skittish one would be abusive?
>>29614259
Either that or Borderline probably.
How do you know if you have a disorder? Are they even real or are they just codenames for "weird"?
>>29614259
You are looking for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
If you are a male and have this, there is a 70% chance you are a cunt.
>>29614455
>>29614501
I haven't looked into it, but I assumed Borderline was mild because of the name. Like they're bordering on having a personality/mental disorder, but are mostly normal and don't match the criteria needed.
>>29614607
That's not what it means. Read about it, nigger.
What about Anti-Social (sociopaths) you fucking retards?
>>29614607
My guess for who deserves that label would be those with either Borderline or Antisocial personality disorders.
However, it's true that some Avoidants are deliberately and consistently abusive towards others in order to become the rejector rather than the rejected. They do this as they find one or the other inevitable, and would rather take things into their own hands. The mindset of those is basically to just get over with it so they don't feel the anxiety and pain of dragging out their own rejection.I would link my sources if I had access to them, but sadly I don't at the moment. Sorry.
I however, like >>29614307 and >>29614443, am not like that. I too am very much the complete opposite of abusive, and would even struggle to hurt a masochist asking for it.
>>29615252
This. Antisocials are objectively the worst cunts. Avoidants in general are just betas.
>>29615252
APD folks typically have problems forming relationships to begin with. Most do NOT fit the stereotype of the brilliant, manipulative high-functioning sociopath.
Those with BPD tend to be fairly socially perceptive and have less trouble forming relationships. However, their behavior tends to push people away down the line.
>>29614480
You get diagnosed by a psychiatrist.
>>29615338
Not saying they are the manipulative type, they may just be an abusive son/husband/relative/father because they get no guilt
While we are on the topic of Avoidant personality disorder; has anyone here been diagnosed with that and that illness alone? I have a couple questions for you if you wouldn't mind answering that have been on my mind for a long time.
>>29615444
I have. What would you like to know, anon?
>>29614607
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iraGmA7-9FA
>>29614443
>>29614259
If you have an avoidant personality, and you're in an intimate and angry confrontation with another person, it could be assumed that your lack of social conditioning might contribute to a violent outburst should things get out of your control.
>>29615482
How long ago were you diagnosed?
Where were you diagnosed?
Did you know about A(v)PD before you received your diagnosis?
Did you originally agree with your psychologist/psychiatrist about the diagnosis?
Do you agree with them about it now?
Have you ever been to the loony bin?
What led you to see a professional about your issues to begin with?
Was it on your own initiative, or someone else's?
Are you on any medication?
Have you received any therapy for it?
(If yes: What kind, for how long and would you say it was successful?)
If you don't wanna answer all of them, I understand, but I would really appreciate at least a couple short answers for the last 4.
>>29615716
1997 when I was 20 years old.
By my therapist at the time. She was a good lady.
Nope. I'm sure I would have figured out if I had the internet, but I didn't use it until 1998.
I'm a textbook AvPD. By the time I turned 9 in 1986 I was completely withdrawn and almost never spoke to anyone except my parents or my one friend. So I completely agreed with her and thought it a relief to have something to define my behavior.
I still agree with the diagnosis, though I've improved over the years.
Nope.
I made a friend in college who suggested I go through therapy because she could tell that I wasn't normal. She'd improved a great deal through therapy, though her behavior was more self-destructive and overt/dramatic. By the time I met her, she could be difficult to get along with but was functional.
It was on my own initiative.
I used to be on Paxil and Celexa, but stopped because of the sexual side-effects they caused. They worked great, though.
I was in therapy from 1997 through 2004, where I decided that I'd benefitted from therapy about as much as I possibly could.
>>29614501
I have BPD, APD and DPD + Bipolar Disorder and I can say, that not all males are like that. I'm quite the opposite actually.
>>29615935
20 in 1997, means you're nearing 40s... What is your life like now?
You mention sexual side effects, means you're not a virgin? Had/have relationships?
>>29615957
Well, if you have DPD, that's only reasonable. Would be really odd to behave in a way that drives people away from you if being left alone makes you severely anxious and feel like you can't manage on your own.
These are going to be two rather odd questions, but have you ever been to a support group for people with DPD, and what do you do for a living?
>>29615716
>She'd improved a great deal through therapy, though her behavior was more self-destructive and overt/dramatic
So to clarify, was she mentally ill as well?
Also, on another note,
>It was on my own initiative
this leads me to the thing that I've really been thinking about the most. How could you ever bring yourself to see a therapist if you have A(v)PD? To me it seems like an impossible task for an Avoidant. Not only does it mean actively seeking out personal contact face to face, but on top of that you would have to open up to them about everything. Your lifestyle, past and issues with anxiety and fear - you'd have to let them in on all of it, tell them about your weaknesses and reveal yourself so vulnerable while listing all your dysfunctional ways. I just cannot understand how someone with this illness could ever bring themselves to do that. Please tell me, how did you manage to do it?
>>29616266
I've been in a mental hospital for 3 months and I've actually met some friends there kinda helping me with everything. I've been on the leave (is that the word, I'm German so I'm not sure, I don't have to go to school and stuff currently) for 6 months and I'm going to be for 2 more. Going to finally finish that shit if I manage to not try to kill myself in that year. Gonna be a tough time. I'm 20 btw
>>29616439
Interesting, but I feel like you didn't answer my questions.
Did you meet any other people with APD or DPD at the mental hospital? I know there tends to be quite a number of Bipolars and Borderlines, but you never really hear people in the mental illness threads mention meeting people in there with APD/DPD, so that's why I'm asking.
>>29616235
My life is great now and has been for a long time. My 20s (and childhood/adolescence for that matter) were almost entirely empty and gray, but I met a girl online in 2007 shortly after I turned 30 and we married in early 2009. We could be doing much better financially, but otherwise life has been a very happy thing since 2007.
>>29616266
>So to clarify, was she mentally ill as well?
She had depression and self-esteem issues which she tried to numb using drugs; she spent a few months in jail once because she committed a robbery to support her drug addiction. By the time I met her in '97, she was a rather bad mood swinger and could be snippy, but her life was basically on track. I spoke to her husband a few years ago and she seems to be doing great now.
>this leads me to the thing that I've really been thinking about the most. How could you ever bring yourself to see a therapist if you have A(v)PD?
I decided to listen to my friend because I'd let a terribly lonely life and wanted to get better, but I didn't do it entirely sober. I used to self-medicate with alcohol before doing anything social. For the first few therapy visits and the early days of college, I'd drink some wine before leaving my apartment; enough to get a buzz and loosen up without becoming so inebriated that I couldn't put on a normal facade. My college and the therapist were both within walking distance at the time. Whenever my therapist put me on Paxil, it was effective enough that I could manage without the alcohol.
>>29616667
To clarify, alcohol and medication didn't take away the anxiety altogether; very far from it. They helped enough that I could attend college rather than be paralyzed with fear at the starting line, but I was still very withdrawn and isolated.
>>29614259
Clearly you haven't heard of Borderline Personality Disorder.
>>29616654
I've only met one person with DPD who also had BPD and she was like 30 or older. We only started talking like two weeks before she left. Nothing too personal though. She's had a daughter and I remember her asking me if I wanted to become an "important influence" for her. She decided that she wanted her to be acquainted to persons she appoint to be "good" and I was one of like 3. But since I was on a full blown depression at that point I said no since I planed on killing myself. It has been about 6 months and I just got to know that she killed herself and I have no idea what happened to her 2 year old daughter. I want to die.
>>29616798
Tragic. I wanna say "I'm here for you", but that would only work if we knew each other and were talking in real life, and obviously that's not the case. Sorry.
How did you find out about her passing away? Did you keep in touch?
>>29616758
Naturally. The reason for APD never being treated solely with drugs is because it simply cannot be done. That doesn't mean many APD sufferers try though.
Some things I just realized I forgot to ask before:
How many friends do you have nowadays?
How many of them would you call close friends?
Do you ever feel anxious over posting on 4chan or messaging with others online?
Do you double or triple check your messages/posts before sharing them?
>>29615268
Borderlines are coming from a similar perspective as avoidants are, except in their mind the other party has already abandoned or betrayed them emotionally so they lash out. So when splitting cycles back around to having a positive opinion about the person they lashed out at, people with BPD come off sleazy and manipulative. Especially since they're feeling extremely guilty about themselves and want comfort or consolation.
>>29615338
This is true, though. BPDs are probably too sensitive to social cues.
>>29616962
I slowly cut all connections I've had with the people since I was afraid of being too annoying and claiming since I'm a borderline piece of shit so I just stop messaging people. It just happened that one girl texted me again and I slowly got introduced to the other people again.
And yeah a few days later she just casually told me what happened more than a month ago.
>>29616990
Would you say this goes for all, most or just some people with Borderline? I'm asking as I haven't done my research on them (yet).
>>29617040
Oh, alright, but when you say you cut all connections you had, do you mean with only the people you met through the mental hospital, or does that include your friends on the outside and/or family members as well?
>>29617120
I was talking about the ones I've met in the hospital I don't really have any real life friends. I message my parents every 3 weeks to tell them that I'm alright but that's it from my family. Even though I need constant confirmation from my "friends" I don't really feel anything about my family. I just don't care about them even though they all did their best to make my life as good as possible. I might be autistic or something
>>29617226
Okay. I'm just being nosy at this point.
Do you play video games? If you are worried about being 'annoying and claiming' then I suppose that's still a way to socialise without really risking taking any part of your iterations too far. Just a though that popped up.
>>29617429
I still play video games since it's that what my internet friends are doing and I don't have anything else to do all day but I don't really enjoy it anymore. I just feel a little bit more apathetic each day and I'm just fine with it by now. I'm really just waiting for my next big depression to come by so I can finally kill myself more easily.
>>29617480
I can't remember the last time I could relate this well to a post. I just fear when my long awaited time comes, I still won't be able to go through with it, leaving me behind with nothing at all to hope and long for anymore.
>>29617623
I know where you're coming from even though you're dead set on doing it and feel like nothing is worth anything anymore it's just so hard since you are in a depression at that point and have absolutely no motivation and drive. Also the only real suicide method I'd use is jumping in front of a train and going there and actually jumping needs even more willpower like this. Also me having a a on off relationship with another girl who's currently in a mental hospital makes things even worse since she's really dependent on me. This is my first one and we're both not happy with it but we can't really do without each other. Cliche borderliners, I know.
>>29617774
Then why not try to check back into the hospital if you are feeling this bad and have someone waiting for you there?
>>29617851
Well she's lives 2 hours away from me and it's going to be 7 in 2 more months. I wouldn't get send to her even when I lived there since relationships aren't allowed on the same station.
It won't work out and I know that so I try to distance myself from her day by day. And even if it magically would happen do be all wonderful and stunning 2 borderliners would never be able to hold a relationship over a distance of 7 fucking hours. It really is hopeless. I'm trying to be moral support for her and a friend she can talk to about her problems but any more than that just isn't going to persist. Also because I'm not going to live much longer and I just couldn't do that to her if we were together. I'm egoistic and an asshole, I also know that I don't deserve her and everyone else would be happy since she's a solid 9/10 and got a super cute personality.
If we prefer to stay alone and not interact with others then how would we have the chance to be abusive?
>>29618085
Most Avoidants are not completely isolated. From time to time, despite their displeasure, they are still brought into social situations where they are forced to interact with people outside of their 'comfort circle'. In such situations, Avoidants have the opportunity to be as abusive as the next person.
>>29618034
Have you ever told her that? Promise me you will before you leave her for good.
>>29618243
Yes she pretty much knows most of this. Really the only reason we're having something in the first place is because we're both fucking retarded and I seem to be the only person able to understand her feelings. But since she's in the mental hospital right now I'm sure that she'll get to know some other guys and I already know of 6 - 8 people who want to get in her panties. So I'll just continue with some morale support until she's a bit more stable. I know that she will find another person after me since pretty much every single male she get's in touch with ends up falling for her. She might be sad at first but It'll be fine in the long run. Really I've already concluded my life for a few years now. Thinking about suicide isn't scary anymore and it just feels like it's the right thing to do. It really feels like it's my destiny by now and I'm fine with it.
If you're in the mood to grossly simplify things, sure, why not.
This is of course assuming that all the people an avoidant person interacts with have healthy boundaries.
>>29618397
I can't help but to feel like we are derailing the thread.
>>29614607
>I assumed Borderline was mild because of the name.
They originally named it "borderline" because you on the borderline between normalcy and being classified as a psychopath.
It literally means half-psycho. If you find out someone has BPD, turn 360 degrees and moonwalk away.
>>29618679
>turn 360 degrees
>>29618653
You're right I'm sorry for blogging. Thanks for listening to me.
>>29618702
I can't tell if you missed his joke or if I'm missing yours.
>>29618760
No problem. It's what I do.
>>29617120
At least in personal experience. That's a good range of emotions that I've come to recognize. Of course, you can shut down completely to keep things from advancing that far. The moment you start thinking a connection is deeper than it actually is a good sign to shut down on that person and cut them out of your life completely to spare both of you.
>>29618679
desu, not a bad idea.
Goodnight friendos. I want you all to know I thoroughly enjoyed participating in this thread.
>>29619020
Are you going to bed?
This was a good thread.
>>29619032
Yeah. I'm sleepy and it's time. It's been a pleasure though.
>>29619020
Again thank you for listening to me. I hope you find your luck and become happy.
