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Anonymous
How does one exit the cycle?
2016-06-29 14:23:28 Post No. 29611111
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How does one exit the cycle?
Anonymous
2016-06-29 14:23:28
Post No. 29611111
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That is, the delusions of grandeur and just world I once held onto, continually shatter. After they crumble, I rely on them in order to keep going. They're all I ever had.
I realised that what I wanted is unrealistic, yet also they feel so basic, built from naivety and Hollywood lies.
They feel so important to me that there's no reason to let them go.
At the core, is the desire for a life of minor stress, simplicity. Non grandeur, this part I seemed to achieve but it turned monkey paw on me. It's an easy life being a friendless loser, not even in his own house yet.
Then just the plain and simple, the ''special gf'', thinking that I too, was anything special or deserving, not in the Misaki fag sense where they want a saviour. Instead that I could be a attractive enough to warrant this.
Sometimes this delusion comes back, it tricks me with the sweet taste of happiness, but usually crumbles once i remember what I actually look like, not what I think I do
I eventually lucid dreamed a whole perfect scenario, the wife I envisioned, daughter, and a country cottage and as much as i want to stop doing it, it manifests before anything else, and i don't have the balls to cut it off
TL:DR failed mental normalfag keeps falling for blue pill
Should I seriously just kill myself?
